|
|
Post by Micky O'Reilly on Mar 8, 2012 18:49:00 GMT -5
Written 6 roleplays and I think 2/3 cd's now, just looking for feedback from anyone on what they liked and didn't like about them so that I can continue to improve.
Cheers guys.
|
|
|
|
Post by Micky O'Reilly on Mar 22, 2012 16:07:41 GMT -5
Anyone? Feel like although I'm putting in the effort I've lost my way a bit and I don't really have a clear path of where I'm taking my character. Tried to change angle and make him sober but I think it's just made him bland and he doesn't stand out. Let me know which stuff you prefer i.e. pre/post booze. If there are no responses in 48 hours I'll just toss a coin.
|
|
|
|
Post by Stephen on Mar 22, 2012 16:31:12 GMT -5
I'll feed you back once I come back to my room later. May not be until around 2AM my time because I've made some plans for tonight.
|
|
Vinny
Headliner
Posts: 683
|
Post by Vinny on Mar 22, 2012 16:52:43 GMT -5
I haven't read all your RPs admittedly, but I think one of the major problems you have is that you switched directions too quickly. 4 RPs isn't really enough to fully establish a character or the depths of his defining characteristic (i.e. Micky's alcoholism). Also, from the record he had at that point (3-0 if I remember correctly) his alcoholism didn't negatively impact his in-ring performance. So why the sudden impetus to change - I ask both for the character, and for you as the writer?
Another facet that bugged me was how quickly Micky being a bible-thumper. Like I said, I haven't read all of your RPs so they may have been hints of this before, but it just seems like another massive and abrupt change. Not every recovering alcoholic needs to "find Jesus," and the fact that Micky both A. recovered and B. found Jesus - neither of which without any significant struggle - in the course of roughly 2 RPs completely undersells the significance of the character change, and consequently undersells the significance of the character.
This is all says nothing of the fact that character and the transformation are both buried in cliches and well-worn tropes. It is entirely possible for a piece to be well-written (as your RPs are) but to still ring hollow. I'm told that Micky is struggling, but I don't see it and - more importantly - I don't feel it through the RP.
Beyond that, I find the idea of a functional alcoholic MUCH more compelling than a recovering alcoholic. Not only is it more creative, it's more unique and I believe there's infinitely more potential there for you as a writer. If Mickey beats alcoholism, then what is there left to his character?
The dichotomy of an alcoholic whose alcoholism destroys his real life but whose fake life (i.e. his wrestling live) thrives despite it (or more compellingly, because of it) is a compelling, interesting story.
I guess to boil down the advice: don't rush your story. If you get frustrated and feel aimless with it, try to wait it out and let it tell itself. And don't be afraid to make your character weak. Weaknesses = humanity = sympathy. And sympathy is the single most important thing a babyface can have.
Peace,
- V
|
|
|
|
Post by Micky O'Reilly on Mar 22, 2012 17:18:47 GMT -5
Wow, much better feedback than I expected, you're like a guru.
Never really thought about half that stuff until you said it and you're spot on.
I've always been happy about my writing style and spelling grammar, guess I've been putting more into that side of things than thinking about actual content and story progression.
Need to knuckle down and work out how I'm going to get out of this slump without doing the same thing again next week.
Cheers Vinny, if anyone else anything to add feel free
|
|
|
|
Post by Micky O'Reilly on Mar 22, 2012 17:31:01 GMT -5
Oh and to answer your questions about the sudden change it's mainly because I originally wanted to come into this as a face which hasn't worked out and I was trying to build that image and personally I haven't been feeling what I've been writing, I feel like the way I've gone about the alcoholism has been a bit unrealistic so I tried a change without thinking about it (I'm pretty impulsive) and ended up doing the same thing on a larger scale.
The only rp'ing I did before coming here about 2 1/2 months ago was fantasy based where almost anything goes and is really where my main interests in terms of movies/gaming lie so I was pretty comfortable in that and now that I'm out of my comfort zone I guess I'm struggling with the switch.
|
|
Vinny
Headliner
Posts: 683
|
Post by Vinny on Mar 23, 2012 8:56:35 GMT -5
You've got a solid character and talent. Stick it out. You'll be fine. And thanks. I wouldn't say I'm a guru, but I've been RPing in eW off and on since 1995-96 so I've got a mini-vault of tips and tricks I've accumulated.  - V |
|
|
|
Post by Stephen on Mar 27, 2012 21:52:05 GMT -5
Sorry for taking so long to do this, but as promised I'll throw in my two cents. Admittedly, Vinny beat me to the punch with what I was going to say and most of what I'm about to say will probably just be a reiteration of what he's said already, but I'll give it a shot.
I personally prefer the alcoholic Mickey because he was really working for you in my opinion. Like Vinny said, there's no need to rush your roleplays and it feels like you sobered him up way too soon. A battle with alcoholism is one that can take months/years so I feel that you should have showed his struggle by waiting at least a few more shows before having him becoming "completely" sober. Having Mickey realizing that he has a problem and watching him try and make his life better over the course of a few shows allows you more time to develop and flesh him out until you're comfortable with where he is.
I hate using myself as an example, but I feel that Jacques is a good example. Originally, I was planning on rolling with the whole tarot card/supernatural thing, but as I kept trying to write I found that it wasn't the direction I felt was best for him. Although I didn't know exactly where I wanted to go with him, I knew I had to get away from the supernatural thing, so I used two separate shows to move away from that direction into something fresh. I'm trying to take my time with him until I know that what I'm doing is working for me and I'm comfortable with the direction I'm taking him.
Again, it's just about taking your time. Don't try to do it all in one show. Treat your CD like a feud and stretch it out for a few weeks. The reader can connect better with a character if they can see that he is taking steps forward or backwards over the course of time and it adds quality to the moment that the character ultimately achieves or fails at their goal(s).
Luckily you didn't write yourself in a hole and are stuck with a sobered up Mickey if you choose not to. A recovering alcoholic (or any addict) can relapse when their life seems to be going right or wrong when sober. Should you choose to keep him sober, you can still show how he's struggling to put the pieces of his life back together while still fighting the temptation. Really, you're still in good shape CD wise no matter which direction you choose to take him and your promos are top notch. I suggest either sitting down and just writing up a CD roleplay with no real idea of what to write about and see where you take him. Worked for me *shrugs* haha.
Good luck with your match at Spring Breakage, man and I really hope you find the direction you want to take Mickey.
|
|
|
|
Post by Micky O'Reilly on Mar 28, 2012 5:45:13 GMT -5
Thanks with your help guys, been writing with the stuff you've said in mind and I'm a lot happier with where it's going. The spring breakage rp is more simple and back to basics than my last few but also more realistic I feel and hopefully you'll agree. I'm not expecting to win but I'm happy with what I've done which is all that really matters.
Been playing with Gimp on my mac so I should have a banner by the end of the day, first attempt ever but I think it's looking alright. Catch you later.
|
|
