Revelations (03.24.19)
Apr 5, 2019 0:33:00 GMT -5
Post by FGA Office on Apr 5, 2019 0:33:00 GMT -5
Near one of the exits to the Amalie Arena, some FGA staffers are assembling and chattering about some hellish noises coming from outside.
FGA Staffer 1: What’s going on out there?!
FGA Staffer 2: Ain’t ya heard, Mr. Not-In-The-Know? There’s a massive BATTLE taking place out in the Parking Lotta Fun theme park, comprising a buncha hippies against a group of Swedes being led by talking pigeons!
FGA Staffer 1: …This company is taking a weird turn lately. And you KNOW I’m getting divorced, so I can drop the hyphen name. I’m just regular old Mr. Not-In again!
FGA Staffer 2: Well whatever. If you watch the news, you’d realize stuff like this is normal for Florida!
FGA Staffer 1: True, true. But wait, I thought The Resistance was in charge of the park?
FGA Staffer 2: They were lately, though I’m not sure on their status after tonight’s Triple Threat Tag Match. Ownership could be swinging back to Delikado and Susan Kent!
A massive crash is heard outside, though it’s impossible to see anything over the crowd of onlookers, making verbal clues essential.
FGA Staffer 3: Whoa! The wrestling Ferris wheel just collapsed and was totally awesome-looking! It looks like the pro-Resistance Swedes and pigeons are closing in on the surrounded and dwindling pro-Delikado/Kent hippies. They’ll totally massacre them unless help swiftly arrives!
Suddenly, Sofia Monzón hurries by, shoving Delikado in his wheelchair through the mass of people in the direction of the conflict.
Sofia Monzón: MOVE IT, WE’RE GOING TO HELP!
Ewan jogs in the back, panting as he tries to keep up with his client and fellow manager.
Ewan Jakeway: *panting* S-Swiftly!
The camera follows through the opening Sofia has cut through to the parking lot outside the arena, giving us our best look at the chaos. Car alarms are going off and it’s general madness—indeed, with close to a hundred people duking it out in the parking lot turned glitzy wrestling theme park, it’s a brawl only a Pay-Per-View like Revelations can provide and budget! Everyone is punching and kicking, beating each other over the head with schnitzel and prizes from arcade games, and some have mounted the animals from the petting zoo to ride and give leverage so they may lasso their foes. Perched on a food cart are two massive pigeons, directing the action but otherwise keeping out of the scuffle, even though one of the birds looks unpleased at this as he hops about.
Apocalypse Face: But WHY can’t I tear into some hips, Eon Pig, sqwak? We’re wrestlers now, aren’t we, sqwak! Contracts signed and sealed, I’m Apocalypse Face the Dread Bird, let’s get us some glory, sqwak!
The bigger, slightly more dangerous-looking bird nips his sibling with his beak to keep him in check.
Eon Pig: You don’t want any of this, Apoc, sqwak! See how the 70’s hipsters are backing up near Ragnar Rock-Climbing Showcase, sqwak? Those rocks’ll give em no place to run, leading to a last stand and hella desperation, sqwak! Nothing to lose makes humans prone to weirdness—your pigeon brother demands you stay outta it, sqwak!
Apocalypse Face: Aw, c’mon, sqwak! I just wanna see what their guts taste like, sqwak! I betcha it’s soft and creamy like—
Butter: BUTTER INCOMIN’!
Butter, one of Delikado’s new friends he acquired in training to fight The Fam, floors and KO’s Apocalypse Face as he leaps over the food cart, armed with a stick for churning…well, butter. Eon Pig flutters up in alarm as the rest of the Butter’s Cup faction of numerous tree-dressed weirdos swarm the area.
Eon Pig: Oh hell naw, sqwak! Who ya’ll be, sqwak? Delikado’s people, sqwak?! That can only mean the Cuban hisself’s around, liable to take vengeance on us for betraying him yet again, sqwak! Oh the life of a pigeon trained to talk and form a Carrier Pigeon Mafia, sqwak! I’m outta here, muthafu—
Eon Pig is knocked out of the sky and out of consciousness by Nut and Pea, two other Delikado buddies who have eagerly rushed into the fray.
Nut: Oho! Let’s see The Fam pull off THIS kinda escapade!
Pea: Right-o, let’s make this a night nunna these chaps’ll forget!
Meanwhile, the mighty pro-Resistance Swede “army” has closed in on the hippies that operate the Parking Lotta Fun, and based off their small number and mounting injuries it looks like the fight’s nearing its end for the “peace and love” crew.
Hippie: Maaaaan, I’m all outta the hookah!
Hippie Leader: Then I guess that means we go all out and give back, ready for whatever Mother Earth has prepared for us on the other side, brothers!
Over the sounds of war, a booming cry echoes across the entire FGA parking lot.
Swedes go flying as Delikado’s wheelchair blasts everyone aside. Sitting comfortably and comatose, the Cuban comes to rest in the center of it all. Sofia stands off to the side with Jakeway.
………………………………
Sofia Monzón: Delikado, are you sure about this?
…………………………………………………..
Still looking skeptical but willing to go along with whatever her client’s planned, Sofia pulls a tiny Life Alert and pushes the button.
Sofia Monzón: Okay…
Delikado’s wheelchair scoots back and props his legs up like a recliner. A whirring sound from machinery at the back is heard as the wheelchair begins to spin, going faster and faster until it’s practically a blur—a dangerous spinning top of a blur that strikes down all the Swedes in the path of Delikado’s lethal legs. It’s boot the face after boot to the face, with the occasional boot to the nuts followed by boot to the face. The Swedes scream and try to flee from the Fidget Spinner Cuban, though most don’t get far as either Delikado knocks them out or one of his allies gets them. Nobody gets a free pass to escape the beating. Ewan looks amazed, utterly bewildered at the sight he’s just witnessed.
Ewan Jakeway: H…He’s insane! A practical one-man-army!
Sofia Monzón: Mhmmmm, if that thing was legal to use in the ring, his matches—like the one tonight—would have played out much differently…and been a lot shorter too.
Ewan Jakeway: Haha, no offense to Susan, but if Delikado could use his chair he wouldn’t even NEED a tag team partner!
Sofia Monzón: You don’t need to remind me of her “value”….Now come on, they’re mopping up.
Indeed, in just a short time, the fighting is over and calm falls over an FGA parking lot that looks like it’s covered in leaves...if those leaves were human-shaped, groaning, and Swedish. Delikado’s chair has come to a stop in the center of this strange field, and the Cuban’s budding array of supporters are at his side. One new arrival catches Sofia’s sarcastic eye.
Sofia Monzón: *muttering to herself* Huh…looks like Kent arrived just in the nick of time…when the fight’s over.
The half-conscious Swedes, all dressed similarly to Ragnar and Gunnar as followers would be, are rounded up and paraded before Delikado, as are his carrier pigeons who look equally groggy. This collection of “prizes” makes for an impressive showing, especially once the Resistance supporters begin to make various excuses and pleas in broken English.
Swede POW 1: Don’t hurt, you win—in ALL things!
Swede POW 2: Gracious Cuban, Prince Otto and his kin Ragnar ‘n Gunnar bullied us do this! Spare!
Swede POW 3: Not zem, it was Snackman. T’was Snackey!
*CRACK*
Having cracked a whip she found from the theme park’s lionfish taming pit, Sofia silences the groveling as she steps to Delikado’s side to convey his words.
……………………….
Sofia Monzón: On Delikado’s behalf, I’ll speak frankly: “Grow some ‘Copenhagen balls’…” [to Delikado] These men are from Sweden, not Denmark…
……….
Sofia Monzón: Whatever. Delikado’s point is “there’s nothing worse than bitches bitching. So tell us, who’s in charge of this PIT-I-FUL rabble?”
Some of the Swedes immediately shove the two pigeons up front.
Swede POW 3: They be, your majesty, Eon Pig and Apocalypse Face!
The pigeons flash dirty looks to the sell-out crew (and pigeons are dirty animals so it’s like ten times worse). Sofia scoffs as she recognizes the birds from Delikado’s carrier pigeon mail service.
Sofia Monzón: I knew you traitorous rats with wings wouldn’t learn. Delikado, let me fry them, as I promised to do if they ever betrayed us again!
…………………………………
Sofia gives the Cuban a shocked, disapproving look.
Sofia Monzón: Are you BLIND to all the false creatures around you, or are you just DRUNK?!
……..
Sofia Monzón: Only baseball fans, aka old people, support that “three strikes” mantra…but of course, look who I’m talking to.
…
She exhales bitterly, Delikado apparently having given the final word on the matter.
Sofia Monzón: Least you could do is let me clip their wings…..Delikado says “he will let you go, but you’re all going to clean up his park and use all your Swedish healthcare knowledge to tend to our injured hippies. Our friend Butter will see that you do it right.”
Butter firmly nods his massive head as he folds his arms across his petite chest.
Butter: Aye, ye’ll clean it up well. Me and my Cup are stickers for cleanliness, the kind ye could eat off.
Sofia Monzón: To you all, Delikado says: “Tonight, Revelations shall stand as a triumph for the team of Delikado and Susan Kent, and for all our great fans and support! We have shown The Resistance and The Fam that we will not go quietly. We fought in the ring like warriors, versus odds that perhaps were weighted in superiority against us, and even in the bleakest, most hopeless moments, the FGA now must accept that Delikado, Susan, and the people behind us do not desert cause or comrades! We fought both groups face-to-face, man-to-man-and-also-to-woman! Bee-tee-dubs, hi Susan! You can’t see it, but Delikado’s winking! Heheheh, you’ve earned this eye wink, kid, along with some other wink! Heheheheheh—”
Sofia subtly shakes the wheelchair to disrupt Delikado’s attempts to swoon his tag partner in the crowd.
…….
Sofia Monzón: Back on track: “Oh yeah, the speech thingamabob. That’s right, good people are we! No ambushes like with Peaches, and no zany prop assault like when The Resistance’s people sacked Delikado’s home with their cheesing! We played with bravery and laid it all out in the open for our opponents. Tonight has put us in the memory bank of all tag teams, hence why we spare you, so that you may continue to spank it to us in your memory banks, and spread the word.”
Sofia rolls her eyes.
……..
Sofia Monzón: Now Delikado must ask: “Forgetting the match for a sec, do you believe Ragnar and Gunnar would’ve done the same to us had they been utterly victorious on this field of battle? Would the Fam? No. In fact, make it a <BEEP> NO! Delikado suspects that if the fortune cookie was switched, you believe you’d find us triggered and bitching on the pavement for a thing they call ‘mercy’? ANSWER THE QUESTIONS DELIKADO JUST ASKED, FOOLS!”
The men and birds snap straight and babble incoherent, but obviously pathetically pleading, responses.
…..
Sofia Monzón: “Delikado doesn’t think so, so much so that he says he KNOWS so. Because we’re courageous and honorable dudes and dudettes! Hence why Delikado and Susan Kent will not act as ya’ll would’ve done if Gunnar and Ragnar or The Fam were standing here victorious right now at our theme park—OUR theme park! We ain’t gonna hurt, we ain’t even gonna humiliate. You all get to have endeavors still in the FGA, hip-hip-hooray, for you see Delikado wants you to bring a message to whatever shell remains of The Resistance, Otto, Frik Snackey, who the hell ever remains in this ragtag group’s corner to defy the will of Delikado and Susan Kent!”
There’s a pause, although it seems more to do with Sofia not wanting to express the rest rather than Delikado formulating his catatonic telepathic thoughts. Sofia groans as she silently argues with her client, but she finally caves. All the same, she gives the two pigeons a dark look.
Sofia Monzón: Pigeons, you are especially spared so that you may bring Delikado’s news to his foes, but you’re banned from Bing-o Night, the Christmas party, and also can’t indulge in his family recipe cookbook of ancient Chinese secrets…of drugs. But know this, and this is MY decree as much as it is Delikado’s—you <BEEP> us over a third time, and there’ll be no more innings in your ballgame.
The pigeon brothers gulp and “coo-coo” all pigeon-like in understanding. That settled, Sofia finishes Delikado’s address to the defeated Resistance “army”.
.................
Sofia Monzón: Delikado’s message to be delivered to your “prince” or “overlord” or whatever laughable title he wants to use is thus….”Actually, Sofia, let’s do this part when the camera cuts to black. We’ve taken up enough of the viewer’s time, and we have to let them get back to watching the rest of the Pay-Per-View. Stick with it, folks, Revelations is about to get SUPER good! Delikado got a note from the “SPOILER” section of his carrier pigeon news team, and wooooooo is this show about to get even better than we’ve already made sure it wound up! Also, Susan, did you see when I did the thing against Tillman tonight? Wasn’t that cool? Susan, did you see? Hello? Hellloooooooo?”
Sofia suddenly shakes her head like she’s snapping out of a trance. She angrily tilts her head at her client, speaking through gritted teeth.
Sofia Monzón: God damn it, Delikado! I told you never, EVER to possess me to convey your thoughts! I can do it my <BEEP>ing self!
…………………………………….
Sofia Monzón: Uh-uh, uh-uh, “caught up in the moment”, suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure. <BEEP>ing asshole <BEEP>….
The Swedes all exchange weirded out looks, but they quickly tense up straight again as Sofia returns her focus to them. Her voice is like sharp, solid ice as she relays the next bit.
Sofia Monzón: Alright, Swedish Chefs and flying rats, here’s the message to be sent from Delikado, the Old Man Cuban Warrior of Delikado and the FGA’s Parking Lotta Fun, and his partner in crime the perfectly healed, always true fatal beauty Susan Kent, to any and all bastards still favoring The Resistance after tonight!
The camera pulls back and dramatically cuts to black as Delikado’s message is presumably passed along to his enemies.
FGA Staffer 1: What’s going on out there?!
FGA Staffer 2: Ain’t ya heard, Mr. Not-In-The-Know? There’s a massive BATTLE taking place out in the Parking Lotta Fun theme park, comprising a buncha hippies against a group of Swedes being led by talking pigeons!
FGA Staffer 1: …This company is taking a weird turn lately. And you KNOW I’m getting divorced, so I can drop the hyphen name. I’m just regular old Mr. Not-In again!
FGA Staffer 2: Well whatever. If you watch the news, you’d realize stuff like this is normal for Florida!
FGA Staffer 1: True, true. But wait, I thought The Resistance was in charge of the park?
FGA Staffer 2: They were lately, though I’m not sure on their status after tonight’s Triple Threat Tag Match. Ownership could be swinging back to Delikado and Susan Kent!
A massive crash is heard outside, though it’s impossible to see anything over the crowd of onlookers, making verbal clues essential.
FGA Staffer 3: Whoa! The wrestling Ferris wheel just collapsed and was totally awesome-looking! It looks like the pro-Resistance Swedes and pigeons are closing in on the surrounded and dwindling pro-Delikado/Kent hippies. They’ll totally massacre them unless help swiftly arrives!
Suddenly, Sofia Monzón hurries by, shoving Delikado in his wheelchair through the mass of people in the direction of the conflict.
Sofia Monzón: MOVE IT, WE’RE GOING TO HELP!
Ewan jogs in the back, panting as he tries to keep up with his client and fellow manager.
Ewan Jakeway: *panting* S-Swiftly!
The camera follows through the opening Sofia has cut through to the parking lot outside the arena, giving us our best look at the chaos. Car alarms are going off and it’s general madness—indeed, with close to a hundred people duking it out in the parking lot turned glitzy wrestling theme park, it’s a brawl only a Pay-Per-View like Revelations can provide and budget! Everyone is punching and kicking, beating each other over the head with schnitzel and prizes from arcade games, and some have mounted the animals from the petting zoo to ride and give leverage so they may lasso their foes. Perched on a food cart are two massive pigeons, directing the action but otherwise keeping out of the scuffle, even though one of the birds looks unpleased at this as he hops about.
Apocalypse Face: But WHY can’t I tear into some hips, Eon Pig, sqwak? We’re wrestlers now, aren’t we, sqwak! Contracts signed and sealed, I’m Apocalypse Face the Dread Bird, let’s get us some glory, sqwak!
The bigger, slightly more dangerous-looking bird nips his sibling with his beak to keep him in check.
Eon Pig: You don’t want any of this, Apoc, sqwak! See how the 70’s hipsters are backing up near Ragnar Rock-Climbing Showcase, sqwak? Those rocks’ll give em no place to run, leading to a last stand and hella desperation, sqwak! Nothing to lose makes humans prone to weirdness—your pigeon brother demands you stay outta it, sqwak!
Apocalypse Face: Aw, c’mon, sqwak! I just wanna see what their guts taste like, sqwak! I betcha it’s soft and creamy like—
Butter: BUTTER INCOMIN’!
Butter, one of Delikado’s new friends he acquired in training to fight The Fam, floors and KO’s Apocalypse Face as he leaps over the food cart, armed with a stick for churning…well, butter. Eon Pig flutters up in alarm as the rest of the Butter’s Cup faction of numerous tree-dressed weirdos swarm the area.
Eon Pig: Oh hell naw, sqwak! Who ya’ll be, sqwak? Delikado’s people, sqwak?! That can only mean the Cuban hisself’s around, liable to take vengeance on us for betraying him yet again, sqwak! Oh the life of a pigeon trained to talk and form a Carrier Pigeon Mafia, sqwak! I’m outta here, muthafu—
Eon Pig is knocked out of the sky and out of consciousness by Nut and Pea, two other Delikado buddies who have eagerly rushed into the fray.
Nut: Oho! Let’s see The Fam pull off THIS kinda escapade!
Pea: Right-o, let’s make this a night nunna these chaps’ll forget!
Meanwhile, the mighty pro-Resistance Swede “army” has closed in on the hippies that operate the Parking Lotta Fun, and based off their small number and mounting injuries it looks like the fight’s nearing its end for the “peace and love” crew.
Hippie: Maaaaan, I’m all outta the hookah!
Hippie Leader: Then I guess that means we go all out and give back, ready for whatever Mother Earth has prepared for us on the other side, brothers!
Over the sounds of war, a booming cry echoes across the entire FGA parking lot.
DELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKAAAAAAAAAAAAAADOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Swedes go flying as Delikado’s wheelchair blasts everyone aside. Sitting comfortably and comatose, the Cuban comes to rest in the center of it all. Sofia stands off to the side with Jakeway.
………………………………
Sofia Monzón: Delikado, are you sure about this?
…………………………………………………..
Still looking skeptical but willing to go along with whatever her client’s planned, Sofia pulls a tiny Life Alert and pushes the button.
Sofia Monzón: Okay…
Delikado’s wheelchair scoots back and props his legs up like a recliner. A whirring sound from machinery at the back is heard as the wheelchair begins to spin, going faster and faster until it’s practically a blur—a dangerous spinning top of a blur that strikes down all the Swedes in the path of Delikado’s lethal legs. It’s boot the face after boot to the face, with the occasional boot to the nuts followed by boot to the face. The Swedes scream and try to flee from the Fidget Spinner Cuban, though most don’t get far as either Delikado knocks them out or one of his allies gets them. Nobody gets a free pass to escape the beating. Ewan looks amazed, utterly bewildered at the sight he’s just witnessed.
Ewan Jakeway: H…He’s insane! A practical one-man-army!
Sofia Monzón: Mhmmmm, if that thing was legal to use in the ring, his matches—like the one tonight—would have played out much differently…and been a lot shorter too.
Ewan Jakeway: Haha, no offense to Susan, but if Delikado could use his chair he wouldn’t even NEED a tag team partner!
Sofia Monzón: You don’t need to remind me of her “value”….Now come on, they’re mopping up.
Indeed, in just a short time, the fighting is over and calm falls over an FGA parking lot that looks like it’s covered in leaves...if those leaves were human-shaped, groaning, and Swedish. Delikado’s chair has come to a stop in the center of this strange field, and the Cuban’s budding array of supporters are at his side. One new arrival catches Sofia’s sarcastic eye.
Sofia Monzón: *muttering to herself* Huh…looks like Kent arrived just in the nick of time…when the fight’s over.
The half-conscious Swedes, all dressed similarly to Ragnar and Gunnar as followers would be, are rounded up and paraded before Delikado, as are his carrier pigeons who look equally groggy. This collection of “prizes” makes for an impressive showing, especially once the Resistance supporters begin to make various excuses and pleas in broken English.
Swede POW 1: Don’t hurt, you win—in ALL things!
Swede POW 2: Gracious Cuban, Prince Otto and his kin Ragnar ‘n Gunnar bullied us do this! Spare!
Swede POW 3: Not zem, it was Snackman. T’was Snackey!
*CRACK*
Having cracked a whip she found from the theme park’s lionfish taming pit, Sofia silences the groveling as she steps to Delikado’s side to convey his words.
……………………….
Sofia Monzón: On Delikado’s behalf, I’ll speak frankly: “Grow some ‘Copenhagen balls’…” [to Delikado] These men are from Sweden, not Denmark…
……….
Sofia Monzón: Whatever. Delikado’s point is “there’s nothing worse than bitches bitching. So tell us, who’s in charge of this PIT-I-FUL rabble?”
Some of the Swedes immediately shove the two pigeons up front.
Swede POW 3: They be, your majesty, Eon Pig and Apocalypse Face!
The pigeons flash dirty looks to the sell-out crew (and pigeons are dirty animals so it’s like ten times worse). Sofia scoffs as she recognizes the birds from Delikado’s carrier pigeon mail service.
Sofia Monzón: I knew you traitorous rats with wings wouldn’t learn. Delikado, let me fry them, as I promised to do if they ever betrayed us again!
…………………………………
Sofia gives the Cuban a shocked, disapproving look.
Sofia Monzón: Are you BLIND to all the false creatures around you, or are you just DRUNK?!
……..
Sofia Monzón: Only baseball fans, aka old people, support that “three strikes” mantra…but of course, look who I’m talking to.
…
She exhales bitterly, Delikado apparently having given the final word on the matter.
Sofia Monzón: Least you could do is let me clip their wings…..Delikado says “he will let you go, but you’re all going to clean up his park and use all your Swedish healthcare knowledge to tend to our injured hippies. Our friend Butter will see that you do it right.”
Butter firmly nods his massive head as he folds his arms across his petite chest.
Butter: Aye, ye’ll clean it up well. Me and my Cup are stickers for cleanliness, the kind ye could eat off.
Sofia Monzón: To you all, Delikado says: “Tonight, Revelations shall stand as a triumph for the team of Delikado and Susan Kent, and for all our great fans and support! We have shown The Resistance and The Fam that we will not go quietly. We fought in the ring like warriors, versus odds that perhaps were weighted in superiority against us, and even in the bleakest, most hopeless moments, the FGA now must accept that Delikado, Susan, and the people behind us do not desert cause or comrades! We fought both groups face-to-face, man-to-man-and-also-to-woman! Bee-tee-dubs, hi Susan! You can’t see it, but Delikado’s winking! Heheheh, you’ve earned this eye wink, kid, along with some other wink! Heheheheheh—”
Sofia subtly shakes the wheelchair to disrupt Delikado’s attempts to swoon his tag partner in the crowd.
…….
Sofia Monzón: Back on track: “Oh yeah, the speech thingamabob. That’s right, good people are we! No ambushes like with Peaches, and no zany prop assault like when The Resistance’s people sacked Delikado’s home with their cheesing! We played with bravery and laid it all out in the open for our opponents. Tonight has put us in the memory bank of all tag teams, hence why we spare you, so that you may continue to spank it to us in your memory banks, and spread the word.”
Sofia rolls her eyes.
……..
Sofia Monzón: Now Delikado must ask: “Forgetting the match for a sec, do you believe Ragnar and Gunnar would’ve done the same to us had they been utterly victorious on this field of battle? Would the Fam? No. In fact, make it a <BEEP> NO! Delikado suspects that if the fortune cookie was switched, you believe you’d find us triggered and bitching on the pavement for a thing they call ‘mercy’? ANSWER THE QUESTIONS DELIKADO JUST ASKED, FOOLS!”
The men and birds snap straight and babble incoherent, but obviously pathetically pleading, responses.
…..
Sofia Monzón: “Delikado doesn’t think so, so much so that he says he KNOWS so. Because we’re courageous and honorable dudes and dudettes! Hence why Delikado and Susan Kent will not act as ya’ll would’ve done if Gunnar and Ragnar or The Fam were standing here victorious right now at our theme park—OUR theme park! We ain’t gonna hurt, we ain’t even gonna humiliate. You all get to have endeavors still in the FGA, hip-hip-hooray, for you see Delikado wants you to bring a message to whatever shell remains of The Resistance, Otto, Frik Snackey, who the hell ever remains in this ragtag group’s corner to defy the will of Delikado and Susan Kent!”
There’s a pause, although it seems more to do with Sofia not wanting to express the rest rather than Delikado formulating his catatonic telepathic thoughts. Sofia groans as she silently argues with her client, but she finally caves. All the same, she gives the two pigeons a dark look.
Sofia Monzón: Pigeons, you are especially spared so that you may bring Delikado’s news to his foes, but you’re banned from Bing-o Night, the Christmas party, and also can’t indulge in his family recipe cookbook of ancient Chinese secrets…of drugs. But know this, and this is MY decree as much as it is Delikado’s—you <BEEP> us over a third time, and there’ll be no more innings in your ballgame.
The pigeon brothers gulp and “coo-coo” all pigeon-like in understanding. That settled, Sofia finishes Delikado’s address to the defeated Resistance “army”.
.................
Sofia Monzón: Delikado’s message to be delivered to your “prince” or “overlord” or whatever laughable title he wants to use is thus….”Actually, Sofia, let’s do this part when the camera cuts to black. We’ve taken up enough of the viewer’s time, and we have to let them get back to watching the rest of the Pay-Per-View. Stick with it, folks, Revelations is about to get SUPER good! Delikado got a note from the “SPOILER” section of his carrier pigeon news team, and wooooooo is this show about to get even better than we’ve already made sure it wound up! Also, Susan, did you see when I did the thing against Tillman tonight? Wasn’t that cool? Susan, did you see? Hello? Hellloooooooo?”
Sofia suddenly shakes her head like she’s snapping out of a trance. She angrily tilts her head at her client, speaking through gritted teeth.
Sofia Monzón: God damn it, Delikado! I told you never, EVER to possess me to convey your thoughts! I can do it my <BEEP>ing self!
…………………………………….
Sofia Monzón: Uh-uh, uh-uh, “caught up in the moment”, suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure. <BEEP>ing asshole <BEEP>….
The Swedes all exchange weirded out looks, but they quickly tense up straight again as Sofia returns her focus to them. Her voice is like sharp, solid ice as she relays the next bit.
Sofia Monzón: Alright, Swedish Chefs and flying rats, here’s the message to be sent from Delikado, the Old Man Cuban Warrior of Delikado and the FGA’s Parking Lotta Fun, and his partner in crime the perfectly healed, always true fatal beauty Susan Kent, to any and all bastards still favoring The Resistance after tonight!
The camera pulls back and dramatically cuts to black as Delikado’s message is presumably passed along to his enemies.