¡Uno!
¡Dos!
¡Tres!
¡Catorce!
Hello hello
(Hola)
I'm at a place called Vertigo
(Donde esta?)
It's everything I wish I didn't know
Except you give me something
I can feel, feel
Yea, yea, yea, yea, yea, yea, yea, yea
Yea, yea, yea, yea, yea, yea, yea, yea
Verizon Arena
North Little Rock, AR The cameras cut to the ring where J.A. Aldridge stands, microphone in hand, ready to make his introduction.
J.A. Aldridge: Ladies and gentlemen, at this time… please welcome Ricky Valero and the FGA Undisputed Champion, Evan Envi… The GOOOOOD GUYS!
Boos rain down from every direction during the initial silence after the announcement… before Andrew Gold’s “Thank You For Being a Friend” hits the PA system, with the Tron displaying the Good Guys’ best moments (mostly tight embraces) in black-and-white.
Stephy Auger: YES!
Kris Cruise: Jeeeeesus.
Evan Envi and Ricky Valero emerge from the back, both pausing at the top of the ramp to soak in the reaction from the Little Rock audience. Ricky whispers something to Envi, prompting Envi to raise his Undisputed Title high above his head to the crowd-- but recoils a bit as the boos simply intensify. Looking unimpressed by the reaction, Evan Envi leads the way to the ring with Ricky Valero rubbing his shoulders and shouting words of encouragement from behind.
Stephy Auger: We’re lucky the Chief is so iron-willed. Most people would break under this kind of pressure. Evan Envi is the face of a new, reinvigorated Vertigo, and most importantly, the undisputed face of FGA. But look at that swagger! Look at that smile! Even Ricky Valero’s glowing!
While Ricky hops onto the apron, Evan Envi walks the perimeter of the ring, lifting the Undisputed Championship high in the air. He motions for Aldridge to hand him two microphones, which the ring announcer does without hesitation, moving to take his seat. Valero sits along the middle rope, pushing up on the top to allow his BEST FRIEND easier entrance into the ring. After taking several seconds to make a show of thanking Valero, Envi finally enters the ring, raising the title above his head again-- feigning a look of surprise when a chorus of boos rain down on the Good Guys.
Stephy Auger: I don’t know why I expected anything better from these people, Cruise. We have living legends standing in the ring right now and--
Kris Cruise: Let me stop you there.
Evan Envi shakes his head a bit and raises the mic.
Evan Envi: Wow.
Ricky Valero: Wow.
Evan Envi: Wowww. These guys.
Envi turns and gestures around him toward the people of Little Rock.
Evan Envi: First of all, watch your mouths. We’re already in Arkansas. Alright? We’ve done our good deed for the night. The least you people could do is--
“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Ricky briefly cups his hands over Evan‘s ears, shielding him from the negative energy of the Arkansas audience. Envi waves the people off, moving the Undisputed Championship onto his shoulder as he raises the mic again.
Evan Envi: Look. Alright. I get it. I kind of anticipated a reaction like this after what happened last week. And I wanted to let you guys know-- the Good Guys have listened to your concerns. We heard that Vertigo’s invasion of the Cajundome was met with…
mmmm... some mixed reviews. Some mixed reviews, indeed. And among some of our strongest critics were… Noelle Smith… and…
There are cheers echoing throughout the arena at the mention of the fan-favorite. Ricky holds up one finger as Envi continues with his list.
Evan Envi: ...the United States Champion, Savannah Taylor…
This time, boos rain down at the mention of Taylor. Ricky holds up two fingers and Envi nods, giving the audience a tired look.
Evan Envi: I wholeheartedly agree with that one. But you know one person that
didn’t criticize us? You know one person that
didn’t run our names into the dirt on social media when all was said and done? You know one person that-- shockingly-- realized their place in this… the person that kept their mouth shut? Our… friend… John. Matter of fact, Johnny Karma got the heck outta dodge before things even got heated. It was almost like he KNEW Flashpoint as a whole had to pay for what happened in Birmingham two weeks ago. The audacity of not one, not two, but FOUR unwelcome visitors showing up on our front door on what was supposed to be the most special day of the Chief’s life. It was blatant disrespect and it HAD to be addressed, man! Johnny— he KNEW what was coming and instead of staying like a team player, he ran!
The audience boos which causes Ricky and Evan to nod their heads vigorously.
Evan Envi: Boo indeed! Johnny Karma deserted his team when they needed him the most. Johnny Karma knows absolutely
nothing about being a team player. WE…
Ricky and Evan point between themselves.
Evan Envi: We are a heck of a team. As a MATTER OF FACT, tonight is the official
debut of the Good Guys in an FGA ring. You guys hyped?!
“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Envi’s jaw drops a bit. Ricky takes the microphone from him, glaring into the audience.
Ricky Valero: What a surprise. 12,000 rednecks in Arkansas are too stupid to distinguish good from bad and recognize when two icons of the wrestling world are standing directly in front of them. But then again, Arkansas is the same state that produced such people as The Clintons…
The arena erupts into a chorus of jeers. A small chant of “Lock her up!” can be heard coming down from the nosebleeds. A devilish grin creeps across Ricky’s face.
Ricky Valero: ...and makes it perfectly legal to beat your wife whenever you feel suitable, so long as you can curb your urges to commit to domestic abuse to just once in a month..
This time, the boo birds fly at Ricky in disapproval. Ricky can’t help but chuckle as he shakes his head at the capacity crowd while Envi mockingly winces.
Ricky Valero: You can boo me all you want, but you people know you are a joke. Monkeys in the Little Rock Zoo down the street are more educated than all of you! Take pride though, people, because by the look of all of you, no one on Earth is as well fed.
Ricky shudders in disgust while Envi snickers in the background, grinning at the booing masses.
Ricky Valero: But hey, why solve world hunger when we can just fill your stupid faces with all the cheeseburgers and donuts Fujiko could ever dream of!
He gets a mixed reaction thanks, in part, to the mention of FGA’s Pride Champion.
Ricky Valero: But enough about the unhealthy physical state of our grotesque “Apex Goddess”...as my
best friend here mentioned, the Good Guys make their official in-ring debut tonight and we do it against a team you all just can’t help but jump up out of your seats for...FIRING SQUAD!
Sure enough, the fans roar at the mention of the Good Guys’ opponents, which amuses Ricky. Envi cries out “what a dumb name!”, looking into the crowd in confusion.
Ricky Valero: Predictable. Every single one of you. Just like the result in our tag-team debut tonight is predictable: a big, fat W. Look, I can stand here in front of you and talk all night about
why we’re going to win, but you already know. I mean, yes, we are going up against longtime punching bag Luke Jackson and his tag team partner, Ymir Ocampos. But individually, we are the two biggest superstars FGA has ever seen. We are game changers who alter the landscape of this beautiful sport we call wrestling every time we step foot inside a ring. United? We are a force no one else in this company wishes to stand across from. Just look at the frustration we’ve caused so many people in this company because our friendship. Johnny Karma, Chandler Scott, Noelle Smith, Savannah Taylor, Hadley Herrera...the list goes on and on. Everyone’s in a panic because they see myself and Evan busting through that glass ceiling, dismantling the good ol’ boys club and finally taking FGA back for the
Good Guys! We’re creating an FGA in which the cream truly rises to the top, in which the good guys prevail over evil. This new era began when Evan Envi captured the Undisputed Championship at Only the Strong Survive, and it will continue with us staking our claim as FGA’s first-ever United States Tag Team Champions! Everyone of you idiots in the crowd knows it. Everyone in the back knows it, too. Anyone else who begs to differ is going to think differently after they see what we do to Ymir and my old pal Luke a little later on tonight!
Ricky clenches his jaw as chants of
“RICKY SUCKS!” begin to fill the arena. Envi calmly takes the microphone from his tag partner and shakes his head at the capacity crowd in Little Rock.
Evan Envi: He does not suck! Y’all need to stop. You stay out here chanting falsehoods like this and people like Ymir Ocampos and Luke Jackson are gonna think they have any semblance of a
chance of beating us and that’s… that’s just not the case. Alright? Those United States Tag Team Championships might as well have our names on there, waiting for us, engraved when we make it to the finals. The GOOD GUYS are gonna represent Vertigo as the first-ever U.S. Tag Champs. And who else would you want? Firing Squad— they’re OOOOKAY, but they’re not instilling fear into the hearts of an entire roster like your boys!
Ricky scoffs with a sour look on his face as a simple, monotone “NOPE!” gets picked up by the mic.
Evan Envi: And don’t get me wrong— we didn’t want to take things as far as we did on Flashpoint last week but Jimmy Page, man…
Ricky blows out a deep breath, shaking his head a little, eyes widening at the mention of Page.
Evan Envi: Dude, he was crazy. He was absolutely beside himself. He INSISTED that we raid the Cajundome. It was— I mean, I was like “yo, Jimmy, we should maybe chill a little. We don’t wanna jeopardize livelihoods, they have families and stuff” and Jimmy was like “NO WAY, KILL THEM ALL.” And I was like “WOW, DANG JAMES” but he was so convincing.
Again, Ricky gets picked up by the mic as he nods his head saying, “He was like a deranged madman!” Envi responds with a callous shrug.
Evan Envi: So at the end of the day, I have some regrets about it, but I allowed myself to cross the line at the behest of Jimmy Page. We went there to send a message to Hadley Herrera and the members of Flashpoint, but what transpired was beyond our—
“Murdered Out” by Kim Gordon plays and the fans erupt in cheers. Page comes out, looking a bit agitated at Envi and Valero’s schtick. Page has a microphone in tow, and raises it to his lips. He slowly begins to walk down to the ring while he talks.
Jimmy Page: Wanna know what I can’t stand? Ignorant pissants like you who think people are toys for you to play with. You, and Valero, and Macdonald--you just don’t know when to quit. This little game you’re playing with my name Envi, it’s gonna STOP!!
Page glares into the ring at the two men. Envi and Valero, of course, play stupid as Page continues to walk down the ramp in a methodical pace.
Jimmy Page: See, say what you will about Karma, him being inserted into our Undisputed Championship match caught me off guard as much as it did you. Boy, would I love to get you all alone in a ring just so I can beat you ringpost to ringpost. I guess I’m just a lil’ upset I won’t get you all to myself. But at the end of the day, competition is competition, and when that time comes, I’ll face Karma and do what I gotta do. The thing is Envi, I don’t think you understand what you’ve gotten yourself into. I don’t even think your friend understands what you’ve gotten yourself into. Valero over here’s seen a lot of crap like this in your career, haven’t you Ricky??
The camera gets a good look at Valero who has a smug expression on his face.
Jimmy Page: Why don’t you tell Envi what wars like this are all about. Because the idiot doesn’t quite understand that because of his stupid decisions he’s opened up a floodgate neither you, nor Macdonald can CLOSE! What you did on Flashpoint, you pressed the big red button in this company. You’ve pressed the button and the missiles are gonna fall and everyone who isn’t a part of your stupid drama are going to suffer. But you don’t care do you? No, your petty little war on Flashpoint and on these fans are more important. That’s my problem with guys like you Envi, it’s that at the end of the day you’re nothing but a smug, naive, cancerous little baby who couldn’t stand it that both brands passed on you!!!
The fans cheer as Page continues to stare at the two men in the ring. Page continues down to the ring, pointing at the two. Envi shakes his head, raising the Undisputed Championship off of his shoulder as he glares at Page.
Evan Envi: Look, man, you--
Jimmy Page: You think that belt is a shield from the fact, and that’s why I’m here to insert some reality back into this little picture you got here. The reality is that what goes around, comes around. It might not be tomorrow, it might not be for another month, but you’re gonna get yours from the people you hurt mark my words. But for now…
Page has stopped at the apron, he taps the side of his mic looking at the men with a coldness in his eyes. He shrugs his shoulders and looks at the crowd.
Jimmy Page: I might as well take a piece for myself…
Page tosses the mic over his shoulder and slides into the ring. Envi and Ricky quickly exit the ring on opposite without a second to think.
“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Ricky whispers something into Envi’s ear who sterns at Page for a bit. “We could’ve been friends!!!” Envi shouts as he points at Page in a judging manner. Page leans over the ropes and mouths back, “Shove it up your ass!” Page circles the ring saying “F**king coward…” as he watches Valero and Envi walk backwards up the ramp. Before that, Envi holds up the Undisputed Championship and gives a small smirk at Page.
Stephy Auger: Seems like SOMEONE isn’t taking the fact that Evan’s champ and he isn’t to heart!
Kris Cruise: Oh please, give me a break, the reason why Page is so irritated is because the Good Guys have been nothing but poison since coming to Vertigo. They enticed a WAR!! And now everyone’s going to have to pay the price!
Stephy Auger: It’s not our fault Flashpoint is such a mediocre show that can’t keep such good talent! Macdonald is a businessman and he did what was best for business!
Kris Cruise: He’s sending this ship towards a iceberg and I don’t like it!! We’ll be back after these messages!
• COMMERCIAL BREAK •