Right after the second tournament press conference wraps up, the dashing Julian Tijerina, affectionately known throughout the wrestling world as El Guapo, takes his associates, the voluptuous Faye Valentine and the deadly Kimiko, collectively known as Serpent's Touch, to a snug Puerto Rican restaurant for some late lunch consisting of tacos and empanadas. This place has been Julian's favorite dirty little secret in Philadelphia. In fact, whenever he's around the area, he never misses an opportunity to visit this restaurant, and its bar, for some good time and more importantly good food.
Julian Tijerina: Danse Macabre, Godfathers of Wrestling, Tommy & The Guns, The Chaotics, Upper Echelon...
El Guapo starts listing the remaining competitors for Round Two of the Dynamic Duos Tournament, a tournament that also includes both Valentine and Kimiko. As Julian mentions names, his eyes light up, seemingly impressed at Serpent's Touch competition and excited at the prospect of seeing them, and maybe even facing them, in the ring. While Kimiko ignores all this and instead concentrates on eating the tacos on her plate, Faye Valentine is a little more annoyed, rolling her eyes at Julian and casting her table utensil back on her plate. She crosses her arms and sighs audibly, though Julian does not seem to notice.
Julian Tijerina: ...Blonde Ambition, Lyle Risky and El Stravito, Shootcamp, Neal Durden and Lowri Moss, Melody Lennox and Daph The Destroyer...
Julian keeps listing names while Kimiko keeps eating tacos. Valentine, for the most part, scowls and even shakes her head at Julian.
Julian Tijerina: ...Her Majesty's Rejects, Invictus Fight Club, The Crimson Baroness and Jensen Banks, Chainsaw and Rowe, and Smart Style.
Valentine sighs again, relieved that Julian seems to finally be done listing the names of their competition. She leans forward and mockingly shoots him a question.
Faye Valentine: Are you done?
Julian is caught surprised, having been oblivious to Valentine's annoyance.
Julian Tijerina: I am absolutely envious of you and Kimiko, of the two of you. You have a lot of great competition in this tournament, and for your first match in this tournament, already in round two because of your bye, you get to tangle it up with Smart Style, Mark Bisley and Shintaro Majima. Majima Shintaro?
Kimiko finally perks up from her plate.
Kimiko: Watashi wa kare no tamashi o taberu tsumoridesu.
Julian turns to Kimiko, eyes narrowed. Valentine smirks devilishly, nodding at her tag team partner.
Julian Tijerina: I like kittens, too, Kimiko.
Kimiko nods and starts eating again. Valentine, on the other hand, rolls her eyes at Julian. She takes her fork, tightly gripping it, a deadly glare directed at Julian, before stabbing an empanada with it. She scoops it up and bites down on it hard. Julian, instead of focusing on Valentine's death glare, stares longingly at her empanada, having already finished his.
Julian Tijerina: Maybe if I hadn't missed the Rey del Air tournament a few months ago, maybe I'd have gotten the opportunity to best once-in-a-lifetime opponents, too.
Valentine rolls her eyes yet again, sighing loudly, only for Julian to miss the message yet again. What he doesn't miss, however, is his phone ringing. El Guapo is quick to take the call, temporarily rescued from the trance of Valentine's empanada.
Julian Tijerina: Hello? Oh, hola! Cómo estás? Ya veo. Se hacen los papeles? Gracias. Sabía que podía contar contigo.
He turns to Valentine who at that moment was just gulping down the last of her empanada, breaking his heart. He powers through the unintentional emotional distraction, however, and motions to his associates that he has to take the call. Kimiko, being Kimiko, ignores him and continues eating. Valentine, still annoyed, rolls her eyes once more, endangering her very beautiful peepers, and shoos Julian away. Julian doesn't even hesitate: He gets up from his seat, walks through the door, and takes the call outside the restaurant.
Faye Valentine: Can you believe it?
Kimiko ignores her, focused on her last empanada.
Faye Valentine: Julian's more excited about our competition than us. This is Pedro Gonzales and Maritza Diaz all over again! UGH! I hate those guys!
Before Valentine could continue with her tantrum, she is interrupted by the disgusting smell of someone's drunk bad breath. She turns around and catches the entire smell all over her face, as a pot-bellied drunk old dude in lame biker gear starts speaking directly to her nose.
Drunk Idiot: Hey, baby. You want to munch on my burrito?
His friends on the other table laughs in support. The old guy can't even keep himself straight, with his eyes finding it hard to stay open. From the looks of him, his eyes aren't the only thing he can't open.
Faye Valentine: Sorry, grandpa, but that line's only funny when a charismatic Mexican says it.
Without turning to Valentine or the senior citizen, Kimiko makes her presence felt.
Kimiko: Usotsuki, fusei koi, setto.
Without turning to Kimiko, Valentine nods in agreement before dousing the man in more gasoline.
Faye Valentine: Is this your ninth early bird special? You should be in bed right now, which, in your case, is probably behind the restaurant, right next to where they dump the rest of the cats.
Drunk idiot's friends all laugh, which only serve to infuriate his giant belly. Without even taking a second to think, which is what drunk dudes do, he grabs Valentine's shoulder.
Drunk Idiot: Listen here, you stupid b---
Before the old man can continue his angry whining, Kimiko grabs his arm, and gracefully rising from her seat, twists him around, locking it behind his back as he starts screaming in pain.
Kimiko: Watashi wa anata no nioi ga kiniiranai. Hanarete itte kudasai, matawa watashi wa anata o hanare saserudeshou.
The old man, in between screaming in pain, can only repeat asking "what." Meanwhile, his friends start to get up from their seats, realizing whatever's happening has ecalated to the point of their intervention. Kimiko glares at all of them but they are too many to simply intimidate. Everyone knows that even a dragon cannot scare an entire village right away. It needs to set house ablaze first.
Kimiko: Sore wa korosu jikandesu.
Valentine rolls her eyes yet again, seemingly close to patenting it as her very own trademark. If only trademarks work that way. She gulps down the rest of her piña colada before slamming her glass back down to the table with force.
Julian Tijerina: De acuerdo, de acuerdo, gracias de nuevo, amigo mío. Me has hecho tan feliz. Finalmente, puedo llamar a San Juan a casa. Te veré pronto, de acuerdo? Bien, bien. Saluda a la familia para mí.
Julian ends the call, and smiling as wide as he possibly can, enters the restaurant once more, only for his smile to quickly fade away like a gringo's spring break tattoo at the sight of what the restaurant has become inside: a battle's aftermath. Tables, chairs, glasses, plates... The entire restaurant's interior looks like a bull just passed through it. There were bodies everywhere, mostly men in biker gear, and two, three, women, too, seemingly also part of the biker gang, if there really is only one biker gang. Nothing else was moving, except for Kimiko who is still pummeling someone she's mounted and Valentine who is drinking a glass of piña colada at the bar while four more were laid out before her. Noticing Julian, Valentine raises a glass at him as the sound of Kimiko's fists against the old man's face starts to become music to their ears.
Julian sighs, shaking his head. He takes out his wallet and mumbles in Spanish.
Julian Tijerina: Por qué siempre atraigo a los locos?
As if on cue, the chandelier falls at the back of the room.
