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[Smart Style]

Once the stream begins we are immediately greeted by the sight of the two members of Smart Style sat in one of the Liacouras Center’s conference rooms, their location being made obvious by the banners fixed to the walls that loudly proclaim “GO TEMPLE” in a way that is, to be blunt, obnoxious in the way it dominates the room in a manner that is nothing but distracting

Yet in spite of the eyesore in each direction that Mark Bisley looks, as soon as he is certain that the stream is working as well as it can he begins to talk directly to the viewer

Mark Bisley: Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Mark Bisley, and I have some unfortunate news for you all. Tomorrow night there will be a press conference where every single team that still has a place in the Dynamic Duos Tournament is invited to say their piece, but we will not be partaking in that particular bout of bear baiting. You see, the pair of us have already made an educated guess about every single thing you will hear: you will hear fifteen different teams talking about how they will win not only their match but also the tournament itself, because apparently everybody wins and nobody loses. You will hear a lot of safe, boring questions from Spencer Burke and Jessie Pederson, because it’s their job to coax empty platitudes out of every single person they interview so they will only pitch the softest of pitches at anyone and everyone who stands at that podium. And, if you are lucky, you may hear one or even both members of one team make a passing reference to whoever they will be facing in the upcoming round and leave it at that.

With a shake of the head, Bisley lets it be known just how low his level of interest is for such a scenario

Mark Bisley: In other words, we are expected to sit in a room full of hot air and wait patiently for an opening to speak. Yet why should we do this? Is it really “dynamic” to stand in line so we get the chance to speak? Or is it “dynamic” to do things a different way, a way where we are not expected to twiddle our thumbs because Chandler Scott or Artemis Kaiser or Lowri Moss or whoever it is who has the floor has the floor? No, what we are doing right now is seizing the chance to talk because nobody else thought of doing so, and we’re doing it on our terms – which I think you will all agree is far more “dynamic” than a group of people sitting in a room as somebody talks about them without bothering to talk to them. But more important than anything else, it offers the opportunity to actually speak to people outside the small, stuffy bubble, for example…

A screencap of a tweet appears at the bottom of the screen, which Bisley reads out in a tone that doesn’t exactly come across as supportive of the posters’ line of questioning…

@romanempire2008 Who is this Bisley guy and why does he think he's so good?

Having read it out, Bisley looks directly at the camera to inform the viewer that…

Mark Bisley: FYI, that’s not the original tweet. The link to the original tweet, in fact all the original tweets, are in the description – but I cleaned it up on Photoshop because I don’t want you, the viewer, to have to see such appalling spelling, grammar, punctuation, or a combination of the three. Just because I suffered doesn’t mean you should.

Letting out a derisive sigh at the standards of the Twitter generation, Bisley decides to get back on subject

Mark Bisley: As for Roman’s question, “this Bisley guy” is one of the thirty-two competitors taking part in the second round of the Dynamic Duos Tournament, he has a partner named Shintaro Majima that you failed to mention in spite of having eighty-two characters remaining, and he doesn’t “think” he’s so good – he is that good. But don’t worry, you’ll learn.

Shintaro Majima: My question would be who this “Roman” person thinks they are. They appear to have no knowledge, when it does not take much effort to learn for themselves, yet they are keen to criticise from behind a wall of anonymity. I would say they have a deep unhappiness they try to deny by lashing out at others, yet lack the courage to say who they are.

Mark Bisley: Exactly, ShiMa, exactly: Google’s a click away, Roman, check it out and you might learn something, not least how nobody likes a cynic.

With another click comes another tweet, this time reading

@cornetteisgod These two don’t have a hope in hell of winning the freaking tournament

Again Bisley looks up at the camera, this time with a particularly disapproving look on his face

Mark Bisley: First of all, watch your language. This is a family show, and nobody wants to see, hear or read your potty mouth – or potty fingers in this case. At least I assume it was your fingers, but based on how the original tweet went from upper case to lower case and back again three times each it would not surprise me if you typed it with your feet, which means that you should probably clean your screen after you’ve washed your mouth out with soap and water. Or fingers. Or feet. Whichever option it may be.

Bisley looks over to Majima and shrugs, a gesture which Majima does not return

Mark Bisley: Secondly, to anyone with a little bit of grey matter behind their peepers it’s obvious we have a very good chance of winning this tournament for one simple reason: because we’re here to win it, rather than sit in a room and say we’re going to win it just so there’s a little extra content on AxxessNet. And you know why we’re going to win it?

Looking over to Majima once more, Bisley gestures in his direction so he can say his piece

Shintaro Majima: We are going to win it because history will tell you that the best team has the best chance of emerging victorious. As we are the best team, history is on our side.

Nodding his approval, it takes a split second before Bisley realises that Majima was ruthless in keeping his response clear and to the point, as Majima believes there is no more than needs to be said on that matter

Mark Bisley: Of course I don’t want to bore you with tweet after tweet of people talking us down because they are of the fool belief that, as they don’t know us, that means we aren’t as good as…well take a dart and throw it in the direction of the rest of the field and you have a decent chance of hitting the perfect example to finish that particular sentence. There is, however, one more comment deserving of scrutiny, and it reads…

Serpent's Touch will make sure this tournament, FGA's tournament, will be won by an FGA team

Mark Bisley: Now, as you can see, this wasn’t a comment found on Twitter, this particular comment was spoken aloud on Axxessnet by Faye Valentine not two weeks ago, comments which are easy enough to find if you want to double check for yourselves, and not only is this the perfect example of someone saying they’re going to win it because that’s what we expect them to say. But should we believe what they say?

Shintaro Majima: I do not accept it, as I do not believe it.

Mark Bisley: One thing that seems to escape Faye Valentine’s attention is that Serpent’s Touch are not the only Frontier Grappling Arts team in this tournament, so her comment that she believed was a rallying cry for Serpent’s Touch was anything but. Case in point…

Gesturing in Majima’s direction, Bisley gives a patronising look towards the camera

Mark Bisley: Did the fact that my partner is under contract with Frontier Grappling Arts slip your mind when you made that comment?

Wagging his finger to camera, Bisley takes a moment to mull over his act of ruthless passive aggression he will unleash on their soon-to-be opponents, clapping his hands together when he makes his decision

Mark Bisley: What concerns me, though, is this belief that, just because you happened to have signed a contract days, weeks, months or whenever ahead of the tournament being announced that makes you an obvious candidate for the final victory. Can you explain how that works? The last time I checked teams progressed through this tournament on merit, merit which looks an awful lot like defeating the teams they were paired with in the draw, rather than knowing whoever it is that you share secret handshakes with.

Shintaro Majima: Or do you believe that you are the better team based on your contract status? Do you automatically assume yourselves to be superior for the reason that the company offered you a contract, and you think this makes you better than us?

Mark Bisley: Or should we look into the sinister undertones of what you are saying and believe that when you set foot in the arena on the day of the show that nod you give to a random referee isn’t a mere greeting, but is in fact a tacit understanding that you and the referee have concocted a plan to make sure that Frontier Grappling Arts does not get its feelings hurt by having to witness one of their teams getting eliminated in the early rounds of the tournament, even after that team was given a bye into the second round? Because if you’re saying the company is determined to have one of their teams win, I will not stand for it – and, far more importantly, I will force your shoulders down to the mat for each and every cover I make just to see if the referee hesitates between the count of two and three, just so I can confirm or deny if that is the game you are playing.

With a slight cock of the head, Majima looks at his partner as if he’s gone off the deep end with his conspiracy talk, which Bisley detects and looks in his partner’s direction to say…

Mark Bisley: It’s better to rule something out early than have your fears confirmed when it’s too late.

With a shrug, Bisley returns his attention towards the camera, while Majima remains unconvinced

Mark Bisley: What seems to escape Faye’s understanding, and based on the fact that neither Julian or Kimiko corrected her it likely eluded them too, is that it doesn’t really matter who signed off on your paycheque, all that matters is whether or not you actually have the talent to back up what you have said. Now I am sure enough of you at least understand the talent that ShiMa has, considering you have been able to watch his matches for some time, so that should at the very least give you an understanding of the talent that I have or, at the very least, and expectation. That’s purely logical. Talent isn’t judged by who you have signed with, nor is it based on the number of units sold, it’s ethereal, something you can’t sense until you see it play out in front of you – or, in the case of what will happen to the pair of your shortly, talent will play out in front of you, behind you, and generally tie you in knots until it defeats you and takes the place in the quarter finals you felt so sure was yours.

Shintaro Majima: What is more, by thinking you can hold your status over us you have given us even more reason to defeat you. If we are to be taken seriously in this tournament, what better way than to eliminate an established team? People will take notice of us the moment the match ends, people who we want to take notice of us, and you will have served your purpose by falling at our hands.

With a smug smirk beginning to cross his face, Bisley looks at the camera with the sort of look that says that Serpent’s Touch have messed up and messed up bad – because his partner is beginning to focus on taking them apart not just to win the match, but to make a statement

Mark Bisley: And this is the difference between us and the other fifteen: as they gather in that room to take it in turns to say the same things in the same order they’re playing chequers on a chess board, and no matter how well you might play it’s still the wrong game. I just hope they don’t take it personally when I take their king so fast they couldn’t see it coming until it was too late.