The scene opens backstage where The Keisters are standing alongside Spencer Burke. None of them look best pleased with what happened tonight, except for Spencer who doesn’t seem to mind being sandwiched between the three sisters like this.
Spencer Burke: I’m here with Kimmi, Kammi, and Kalli. Now in two weeks time The Keisters will be competing in a triple threat match against The Elysian Empire and The Polychromatic Lion Attack Squad. But tonight you girls didn’t hav–
Kimmi Keister: Harbingers of the Apocalypse?!
Kimmi interrupts him, screeching almost hysterically as she grabs hold of the microphone.
Kimmi Keister: More like Suckbingers of the Suckalypse, ok! ‘Cause you two meatheads may not know what you did tonight when you cost us–
She points to Kalli, who just nods in agreement.
Kimmi Keister: –when you cost us that match, you made The Elysian Empire think that maybe they stand a chance at All Star Showdown. Ok. You made them think that they might defend those tag titles, and, ok, just listen up, ‘cause that’s like a crime!
Kalli Keister: Such a crime.
Spencer Burke: They do seem to have put some of their past troubles behind them, but Elon and Emery seemed to work well together tonight.
Kimmi Keister: Urgh, you would say that, Spence. But if we weren’t teaming with the Suckbingers then tonight would’ve gone very differently, ok. ‘Cause Elon and Emery know that The Keisters mean business. They know The Keisters are the toughest challenge to their titles, ok! It’s why they’re not bothered about Pedro & Martina. It’s why they don’t care about Serpent’s Eyes. Or Diamond’s Touch. Or whatever they’re called!
Kalli Keister: Nope, all their attention is on us!
The two sisters, who’ll likely be the legal competitors at the pay-per-view, high five each other before including Kammi in their efforts.
Kimmi Keister: And who can blame them? We’re far more beautiful than their sister–
Spencer looks a little bemused at that statement, but shrugs it off.
Kimmi Keister: –we smell better than Stinky Peaches, and lets not even get started on Baldilocks, ok. The fact is, ok, that tonight was just a one off. At All Star Showdown we’re gonna show you all why The Keisters are the future faces of the FGA tag division.
Kalli Keister: And we’re gonna be the most beautiful faces of this division, ever.
Kimmi Keister: Exactly, sis. So I hope Elon and Emery really enjoyed tonight, ‘cause it’s not gonna happen again. Me and Kalli aren’t gonna leave All Star Showdown with another loss to our names, ok. We’re not gonna leave All Star Showdown without those belts around our waists. So just get used to seeing a lot more of us, ‘cause we’re gonna be running things around here soon enough.
Kimmi clicks her fingers for emphasis, but the ensuing silence is broken by a soft Georgian accent.
Peaches: …is that so?
The members of the Polychromatic Lion Attack Squad walk into shot from the left side, causing The Keisters to amass on the opposite side of Spencer Burke.
Peaches: I’ve gotta give it to ya, you girls don’t know the meaning of the word quit. You keep going down, but then you keep getting’ right back up again…
Peaches makes a hand gesture to indicate that the comment may not be entirely innocent, lowering her hand down to waist height before Dan speaks up.
Dan Herrera: But there’s some problems with what you’ve just been saying. See, I know you’re going to hold that victory over me and Elon for as long as you need it Kimmi–
Peaches: Ain’t even matter how cheap it was.
Dan Herrera: –but you were right about one thing in that whole speech…
He resists the easy joke.
Dan Herrera: …in two weeks time things are going to happen very differently. You won’t have Bristow and Barnes to blame for your loss. You won’t be able to steal a victory with a one count again.
Kimmi Keister: Oh my God! Was that a blowjob joke?
Kalli Keister: You know what, sis, I think it was.
Dan and Peaches look at one another, not sure of what to make of how long it took that to click with their upcoming opponents.
Peaches: Uh, yeah. Here’s the thing, y’all, a coupla months ago The Usual Suspects, they went an’ stole those belts from Dan an’ Cordy. But Zero McHannon ain’t here anymore to pull that trick again. Rother an’ his boys ain’t here to pull that trick again. Which means Dan’s ready to take those belts back, an’ that’s exactly what we’re gonna do.
Kimmi raises one hand as she calls for silence.
Kimmi Keister: Spare us the speech, ok! We know you used to be champions–sorry, he used to be a champion here. And we know you two were champions together down in Texas or some redneck state like that.
Kalli Keister: Eww, rednecks.
Peaches looks angry at the disparaging comments aimed towards them, but Dan holds her back. Even though he’s the one from Texas, they’re both Southerners.
Dan Herrera: Two time champions. Just like I’m soon to be a two time FGA World Tag Team Champion. And Peaches here, she’s about to win her first FGA title. And for all your resilience, for all your resistance and fortitude, you two aren’t going to stop us at All Star Showdown. You girls might be blood related, The Elysian Empire might be blood related, but The Polychromatic Lion Attack Squad?
Peaches: We’ve got a bond stronger than just blood. We’re gonna put everythin’ we got into that match, an’ we ain’t leavin’ Los Angeles without those belts. We ain’t lettin’ you girls become the faces of the FGA tag division. We ain’t lettin’ the winners of Dynamic Duos, the most prestigious tag tournament in wrestling today, have their prize be a match against The Keisters, or even the Elysian Empire.
Dan Herrera: Emery and Elon? They’ve shown their weakness already. They’ll let the jealousy and pettiness get in their way, They’ll stumble at the smallest obstacle, because while they may be blood, they’re not truly a team. They’re not on the same page as one another. And if they want to emerge victorious at All Star Showdown, then they’re going to need to pull their fingers out real soon.
Peaches: ‘Cause otherwise those belts they have? The belts you girls want real bad? They’re gonna be around our waists after All Star Showdown is said and done. An right now, girls, the future ain’t just bright, it’s polychromatic!
Dan and Peaches walks backwards away from the scene, leaving the fuming Keisters alone with Spencer Burke. But none of them can get another word in as the scene comes to an end.