We cut to a clip of the trainer’s room, seemingly moments after the show in a segment that is marked
AFTERBURN EXCLUSIVE in the lower left-hand corner. At first, the on-hand doctor is the only face visible, looking down at his subject with a look of concern. Finally, a voice comes from the presumed medical bed, out of frame.
???” …wh… what’s the prognosis, Doc?
The camera pans out, revealing the doctor’s name to be “DR. KHATRI.” The man sighs a bit… and the camera pans out more, revealing the flat, stiff, stoic Evan Envi.
Doc: Nothing seems broken. Nothing seems torn, but I’d obviously like to send you elsewhere as soon as possible for some x-rays and most certainly a concussion test. Do you have a long history of them?
Evan Envi: Believe it or not, no. The Chief stays well-protected, dangit. Maybe two or three in the past. I’m lucky, no? But I guess it depends, really, on what you consider a “history”, Doc.
Evan tries to sit upright, but cries aloud, grabbing at his ribs, face immediately turning red.
Evan Envi: GAHHH, JESUS! WHERE’S MY LAWYER, DOC?! I ALMOST GOT MURDERED OUT THERE ON LIVE TELEVISION AND I HAVEN’T EVEN FILED MY POLICE REPORT! OW! JEEEEAAYYYSUS!
Envi lies back down on the bed and the doctor’s eyes widen. He grabs for a tablet and begins to furiously type something, but seems startled as the door pops open. Another paramedic stops in the doorway, eyebrows raising.
Medic: Sorry, I waited. I thought he’d be gone--
Evan Envi: IS THAT FRANK?! IS THAT MY LAWYER?! FRANK, IS THAT YOU!? FR--!
Envi sits upright again, wincing in pain, but his eyes widen as he looks toward the doorway. Noelle is with the medic, and for the tiniest fraction of a second there is a whiff of concern on her face and then she realizes he’s squawking full volume and rolls her expressive eyes.
Noelle Smith: If you were that worried about it mayyyyyybe you shouldn’t have dragged me by my hair up to the balcony! What happened to you was sheer self-defense.
She turns to the medic and heaves a sigh.
Noelle Smith: Just check me in the hall, I don’t even want to be breathing the same air as him. I’m going to be all bruised up for the wedding!
Evan Envi: You’re… absolutely insane.
Holding a hand to his ribs, he makes an audible noise, indicating legitimate pain before covering it with a grunt, pulling himself to the edge of the medical bed to stare directly at Noelle Smith.
Evan Envi: I was
lost. I asked you where the ring was out there and you ignored me-- PLENTY of fans heard me. And then, knowing exactly what your plan was, you led me to that balcony. Poor, innocent, unsuspecting me. And you tried to ruin me, you psycho! THE DOCTOR SAID I’LL PROBABLY NEED A BODY CAST!
Doc: ...I don’t--
Evan cries out in pain.
Doc: Yes. Body cast. Very bad.
Behind Evan’s back, the doctor makes a gentle shrug toward Noelle and the medic before turning his back, going back to his tablet. Noelle’s hands lift and she gently massages her temples before she takes a deep breath.
Noelle Smith: Nobody. Nobody, Evan… would ever believe you.
She drops her hands and she stares at him intently.
Noelle Smith: On camera,
everyone, and I mean
everyone saw you grab me by the hair and pull me up those stairs, helpless, right up to that balcony. Maybe? You need a total neurological checkup if you honestly believe you didn’t know what you were doing out there.
She narrows her eyes, though her tone stays soft.
Noelle Smith: If you were so lost, like some poor innocent little lamb out there that you didn’t even know where the ring was? I don’t know, maybe you’ve got a tumor or something.
She turns and starts to move out into the hall.
Noelle Smith: It would be a real shame if you fail to get that thoroughly checked...
For a moment, Evan’s eyes widen. He starts to turn to his doctor, but his gaze falls downward and he stops himself. Evan stifles a breath, shaking his head, looking back at Noelle.
Evan Envi: You’d better freaking hope, yo. That’ll be what saves you. But… you… taking
all of this away from the world…
Envi gestures toward himself. His whole body.
Evan Envi: That’s an unforgivable and inescapable punishment. You’re paying for this, Noelle. Tell her how much it costs, Doc.
Doc: Oh. Ohoho. I don’t think you want the final figure. A body cast would cost--
Evan Envi: OWWWW! DOC!
Doc: --a lot of money! A body cast is largely expensive. Unfortunately. I mean-- sadly. Yes. Sadly.
The doctor mouths an apology toward Noelle for the absurdity of the situation before hurriedly turning away again, back to his tablet. Noelle pauses with her hand on the doorway, clearly feeling her own strains from the match, but there’s a tiny, tiny hint of a smile before she schools her expression.
Noelle Smith: It’s a good thing you have insurance, right Evan? I mean, that is, if your assistant filed the necessary new forms for the new year.
She pauses, and brings a hand up to her lips before she drops it and scoffs at him. Envi’s face grows white and his eyes drift elsewhere for a moment as he ponders it.
Noelle Smith: I’m not paying for anything for you, not ever again. Except flowers for your own… inevitable… if you don’t get checked that is.
For a split second she gives the doctor a return look of sympathy, but quickly enough that Evan might not catch it. Envi’s eyes return to Noelle.
Evan Envi: Get her out of here, doc. Groupie is contagious.
With that, Envi lies back down on the medical bed, murmuring something under his breath about “insurance” and “Trumpcare” while aggressively waving Noelle off.
Noelle Smith: Someday you’ll learn Evan, that no matter how hard you try to convince people I’m a groupie? They’ll realize the truth. It’s just words from a bitter, hollow, has been. You? Don’t get to define me.
She rolls her eyes as she turns to leave.
Noelle Smith: Give him the extra good treatment, Doc. You know the one.
Noelle slams the door behind her and once in the hall laughs as she thinks of how he’ll react. Evan takes a deep breath, closing his eyes, groaning as we fade-- taking precaution and slapping at the approaching hand of the doctor.