What Passes For Chivalry Nowadays?

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“Chivalry?” she whispers as she runs her hands up her face, and through her hair. Peaches is pacing back and forth in a gym locker room – so you know she works out! – as she repeats, louder than before, “Chivalry?! Is that what you’re calling this? You jumped to her aid ‘cause you were feelin’ chivalrous?”

“Or ‘cause you wanted to get your dick wet?” Peaches snaps, pausing for a moment as she sighs.

Her fists are clenched by her sides as she resumes her pacing, “You can turn over a new leaf all you want, Dom, but old habits die hard, amirite?” she asks, rhetorically. “It ain’t like you’ve been doing it ever since you started wrestling. Not like you joined Ascended Supremacy ‘cause you wanted to get in that Tiffani’s pants, or was it Taylor? It ain’t like you were fuckin’ the chick you won your first tag titles with! Oh wait…” Peaches feigns surprise.

“What was her name? Constance?” she muses aloud. “Hell, a few years ago you signed with PDW ‘cause you wanted to get Riley Lynn into the sack. You went to Exodus ’cause you wanted to fuck that Heather you used to date–” Peaches throws her arms up into the air, “–hell, you even got her a job with FGA so you could dip your wick more often. An’ that ain’t even startin’ on the rest of the women in FGA who you’ve tried to sleep with.”

“An’ I ain’t even gonna pretend the reason the Langley Falls Pornstar Convention exists ain’t so you can get some more groupies,” she scoffs, “or was there someone else you had your eye on? Nah, hold on. ‘Cause we know you’ve done some selfless things over the years, Dommy. You had your hand in trainin’ some rookies recently ain’t you, I’m sure you did that without expectin’ somethin’ in return,” she pauses, “or did you get your dick wet with them too? What ‘bout your movie career, Dom – did you fuck any of your co-stars on the set of Cougar Hunters? What was that audition process like?”

“An’ that ain’t even startin’ on that mess you got into with Blyss last year. Or what you’re doin’ with Cobalt. But you gotta tell me, Dommy, have you an’ Jae fucked yet, or are you waitin’ ‘til you get to Cabo?” Peaches pauses again. “Or is it Cancun? Wherever you two go off to ’celebrate’–” she uses the air quotes, “–your win this weekend. Face it, Dom, you can turn you can turn over your new leaf, it can lead you to your FGA grand slam, it can probably lead you to the Destiny Cup…” Peaches stops pacing and looks at the camera, “…but it ain’t gonna let you stop thinkin’ with your dick.”

“Ain’t nothin’ gonna stop you from bein’ a man whore.” She states, bluntly.

“Ain’t nothin’ gonna stop you gettin’ taken advantage of again,” Peaches slaps her forehead, “not when the next pretty face comes along an’ tells you what you wanna hear. An’ I’m gonna assume that’s what happened here, ‘cause you’re my bro, Dom. An’ after this is all over, me, you, an’ Dan are gonna go out and get some pancakes or some beer an’ talk this whole thing over.”

“But Jae ain’t getting’ off so lightly. I dunno when it was you thought you could get away with pullin’ this shit, Jae; whether you got pissed off when I beat you, or when I eliminated you from the Red Carpet Rumble. But you don’t get to mess with my friends an’ get away with it! You don’t get to talk shit ‘bout my boyfriend an’ get away with it. So if you think that you an’ Dom can get along in that ring – bring it! Me an’ Dan ain’t backin’ down any time soon. Showdown in the Sun is the beginnin’ of a new chapter for the Polychromatic Lion Attack Squad, an’ we’re startin’ off with a win over Dom Harter and Jaelynn Ramsey! We’re startin’ by puttin’ you down once and for all, Jae! An’ when we’re done, you can skulk off to Mexico or wherever an’ lick your wounds. An’ know you ain’t stole Dom away from us. Know that you ain’t broke us. All you’re gonna gain from this is a new boyfriend, ‘cause you ain’t walking outta Showdown in the Sun with another win to your name!”