FOR-EH-VVVVVVVVER

[Perello]

ON CAMERA

“This has been one giant freaking mess!”

Paramount Champion, Cyncity stands in front of her two loyal followers, Mascot Stitch and Noses F. Ginger. Cyn paces from side to side, her championship wrapped around her shoulder, and nightlights in the outlets of the room to give off some sort of light.

“... It wasn’t.” she stops, a sarcastic chuckle escaping her lips. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I should not be going into the six way weakened and compromised… but I am. I am because somebody’s!” she turns her head over her shoulder to stare directly at Noses F. Ginger.

“Decided to fail me…” another pause, this one longer than the previous.

“But it’s okay.” She says with a forced smile. “It’s okay because I’m sooo used to peoples disappointing me and leaving me for dead that it’s all just… inevitable. My entire career…” she stops, shaking her head from side to side. “No, my entire LIFE has been filled with people coming and going. People using me until they have no use for me anymore. People who stick around for the unicorns and sparkly rainbows, but disappear once the donkey’s and thunderstorms come!”

She finally breaks eye contact with Noses, turning around to face the camera. “But there is some good news, though.” She continues with a wink. “Because of all the disappointments and fairweather bonds in my life, I’ve learned how to take care of ME quite well. I do well with just ME, but I have this inkling that tells me everyone’s forgotten about that.”

She rolls her eyes. “Of course they have! Because I choose to surround myself with followers now, people will tell you that I can’t do anything for myself. People will tell you that I NEED Mascot Stitch and Noses F. Ginger to win this six way match for my title! They will tell you that I’m washed up and that I’m dependent on them more than they’re dependent on ME! THAT IS WHAT THEY TRY TO FEED YOU, MY CHILDREN! EACH AND EVERY TIME, THE WRESTLER WHO SURROUNDS ONESELF WITH FRIENDS IS THE WEAKER WRESTLER!” she turns her head to glare back at Stitch. “But the truth is? The wrestler who surrounds oneself with friends is the SMARTER wrestler.”

She faces the camera, tilting her just a tad to the side. “I am by far the most underrated professional wrestler this business has ever seen, and I can’t…” she shakes her head, a frustration filled sigh exiting her body. “... I can’t let that continue to be a thing. Mascot Stitch and Noses are only here to remind you all of my greatness. DA GOD was born just so you people PAID SOME FREAKING ATTENTION TO THE PERSON WHO BEGAN FGA’S BOOM PERIOD! THE FIRST SIGNING IN A LONG LIST OF SIGNINGS THAT SHAPED FGA’S FUTURE FOR-EH-VVVVVVVVER!”

A static hits the screen…

… and we’re back!

“But does Cyncity ever get any credit for that? Nope. Never once. Not from FGA, not from any of the wrestlers in FGA, and I won’t ALLOW THAT TO HAPPEN IN 3GW! THIS IS MY FREAKING HOUSE NOW, AND IT WILL BE MY FREAKING HOUSE UNTIL I RETIRE! BUT YOU KNOW WHAT!? I’LL UNRETIRE AGAIN, COME BACK, AND IT’LL BE MY HOUSE AGAIN! MWAHAHAHAHA!”

The delusional Cyncity begins to laugh like a maniac, Noses frightened by the sight and Mascot Stitch standing back with his arms crossed.

“At Showdown in the Sun, I’m put in a position to fail. A position where I don’t even need to be pinned to lose my title in a match made by someone who should’ve never had the authority to make the stinkin’ match!” She scowls at the thought of Lindsay Harrington. “But we all have problems with authority, don't we, Terrence? Don’t we, Shintaro?” she smirks.

“Difference is? I’m not driven by mine like the two of you. I don’t wanna win to stick it to the boss! I don’t wanna win out of spite like Dooder and Barmitzvah who hate ME more than they wanna win the Paramount title! I only want to win… to prove… that I am the best on this brand. The only person in this match who could possibly understand that? Becker Gaines, but that child’s fire went out the moment he realized one simple little thing."

She takes one step forward, her face getting closer to the camera. “The same thing the rest of you non-believers will come to peace with at Showdown in The Sun..."

“...you’re just not strong enough to defeat DA GOD.”

Mascot Stitch turns around and rips the nightlight out of it’s socket, the visual turning into a static to signal the ending.