PREPARING THE N00BS

[Perello]

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The Church of Cyn was a building of many wonders. What was once a catholic school filled with disgruntled tweens and suspect priests became Cyncity’s personal Fortress of Solitude. The one and only place that gave her the escape she needed from her stress filled life.

It wasn’t just a place for the followers of Cynduism to gather around and celebrate her greatness. Not at all. It became the place that Cyncity did most of her training, turning the gymnasium located in the basement into her own personal workout center. More importantly than that?

It was the place where she would prepare Mascot Stitch and Noses F. Ginger for their upcoming main event battle at Challenge.

“OKAY! I ACTUALLY WANNA WIN THIS MATCH, GUYS! NO! I WANNA TAKE SOMEONE OUT!”

Cyn shouted at the top of her lungs, sweat glistening off of her body as she pointed her finger right in the face of Mascot Stitch.

“YOU!”

Mascot Stitch stood at alert and stared his master in the eyes.

“You has wrestling experience, si?”

“Si! Yes! Number one luchador in Mehico some time ago, yes.”

Cyn nodded, a small smirk on her face as she strapped the whistle around her neck.

“Okay, then you’ll be our surprise attack! I don’t think anyone expects you to know how to wrestle so this works for us! We’ll keep you out the match until we needja and then you can do all that flippy good lucha stuff, right?”

“Si!” Mascot Stitch replied cheerfully, “I do GREAT LUCHA TINGS FOR YOU, MY SAVIOR! You do so much for me and my family, I do --”

“Okay, shut your face. You’re not supposed to talk a lot, member?” Cyn interrupted, slapping the nose on the Stitch head before she stepped away from from her servant.

“And you…” She stared Noses dead in the eyes, the former ginger swallowing down a hard gulp. “You, my child, are truly the wildcard in our situation! We still has time to make you a decent wrestler, but…” she broke eye contact, lowering her gaze to the floor. “... it’s gonna depend on how much you’re willing to push yourself!”

“I will do anything you say, my Lord. You gave me life again. I can feel my legs because of you and people no longer call me the evil ginger kid. I cannot…” Noses took in a deep breath. “... I cannot fail you, for it would be the last thing I do…”

Noses bowed his head and went to grab Cyn’s hand, but the Paramount champion ripped it away and blew into her whistle

“Okay! THOU SHALT NOT TOUCH CYN!” she exclaimed, her two ‘servants’ tucking their heads in disappointment. “This is getting a little too Game of Throney for me, guys. Can we just, um…” Cyn hesitated, a look of cluelessness filling her features. “Can we just make sure ONE of these non-believers gets put down? I really really really don’t wanna defend my title in a six way and I have a feeling Barmitzvah is gonna wanna kill me!” she panicked, flailing her arms in every which way as she continued, “It didn’t come to me as a vision, but I feeeeeeeeeeeel it!”

“NO!” Noses shouted passionately. “Barmitzvah will not harm you, my lord, for I will vanquish her into the oblivion!”

“STOP IT! THAT DOESN’T EVEN MAKE SENSE, NOSES! THIS ISN’T THE TIME FOR FREAKING GAMES! DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW, HUH?!” She reached forward and slapped Noses on the side of the head. “I AM AT FREAKING RISK HERE, DUMMIES! KNUCKLEHEADS! WE’RE FACING THREE LEGITIMATE THREATS TO MY TITLE, AND YOU BOZOS WANNA PLAY GOD AND WORSHIPERS, BUT GUESS WHAT?! I DON’T WANNA PLAY RIGHT NOW!”

Noses was stunned silent, Mascot Stitch just barely able to muster up words. “But, my lord, we…”

“But nothing! You guys are the reason why Pedro had me beat last Challenge! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO MAKE SURE I DON’T GET PUT IN BAD SITUATIONS AND LOOK WHAT’S GOING ON! SIX WAY CHAMPIONSHIP DEFENSE! PEDRO NEARLY RIPPED A LIMB OFF OF MY BODY! DOODER MOST LIKELY WANTS TO KILL ME ALL BECAUSE YOU!” She pointed right at Mascot Stitch. “DECIDED TO GET SNIPPY!”

“I’m sorry, my lord.” Mascot Stitch answered, glaring over at the trembling Noses afterward.

“Sorry doesn’t win me matches.” Cyn fired right back, “Sorry doesn’t keep me out of bad situations! This upcoming Challenge is your LAST chance to do something right! And if not…” She took a small step forward, gesturing for her two followers to look at her before she spoke. “... you will be replaced as my two favorite children.”

Tears started sliding down the cheeks of Noses, a sapping noise coming out from underneath Mascot Stitch's mask as Cyn skipped away.