Soap

[Noelle Smith]

Think I just remembered something

I think I left the faucet running

Now my words are filling up the tub

Darling, you're just soaking in it

But I know you'll get out the minute

You notice all your fingers pruning up


Music plays quietly in the background as Noelle sits on the edge of the bed in the motel she’s staying at in Addington. It was a little odd, because motels always made her think of those quirky little Travel Inns or Motel 6’s in the US, but here it was just the same as a hotel. She was wearing a light zip up hoodie over a tank top with the BRUTALapparel logo, and matching yoga pants. The bruises she’d earned in her match against Izzy Anders were starting to fade, though her lack of makeup today let what was left show. She had a little GoPro on, using it to speak to her opponent for Vertigo, and any random fans that might check the FGA Youtube channel later.

“So, Blake Rogers. You know I got excited when I first saw the card I thought it was Blake Jones, but...no.” Noelle heaves a small sigh, her breath passes her full lips and makes the fringe of her bangs float for a second. “But I guess some dreams just weren’t meant to be.”

She shifts on the bed a little, unfolding and refolding her legs before she settles again. “You get to come into this match with a little tactical advantage, Rogers. I mean after all there’s the complete FGA DVD and BluRay library out there for your edification and I’ve got… well. Your Fatal Four Way Scramble rules match, that lets you be able to stand up and tell the world you won at Final Frontier, and I’m pretty sure you’ve already exercised your right to American-style free speech about it too. You can point at me and tell me that you won and I didn’t. That’s a fact.” Noelle nods, then takes a small sparkling set of hairclips out of her pocket, deftly inserting them into her hair before she continues.

“But I can point at you and tell you the truth. I wanted that match with Izzy, more than anything. I needed it, win or lose because I had a question that I needed answered no matter how hard the dose of reality might have been afterwards and I went for it with all I could bring to bear. I fought my ass off, and that’s the difference between me and you. You won, yay go you!” Noelle twirls a finger lightly before she shakes her head. “I never underestimate, Rogers. I know better. But what I also know? The differences between the three you fought and the one I fought are stacked so high you’d never be able to see over it. Izzy is a rarity, Rogers. And while you may have Captain America’s last name you sure aren’t him, and it would take someone like that, to beat someone like her. She’s for real, Rogers. These are also facts.”


I'm tired of being careful, tiptoe, trying to keep the water warm

Let me under your skin

Uh-oh, there it goes, I said too much, it overflowed

Why do I always spill?


“I’ve been in the ring with some of the greatest names that have gone through this company. Some I’ve beaten, and some I haven’t but the consistent thing is, they knew they were in a real fight when they were in there with me. That’s what I work hard for, Rogers. I improve, every time I get in that ring. I learn from the mistakes I make, and I just keep getting better. Every puzzle has a solution, and I’m getting very good at finding them.” Noelle took a deep breath, and leans forward a little.

“So Minimalist, I expect you to try your hardest to tear me apart verbally. I expect you to try and tell me about myself like I don’t deal with me everyday, like I don’t know exactly who I am and what I can do now - and what I’ll be able to do as I evolve and grow as a wrestler. If you can manage to get through your little diatribe on me, I expect you to flex a bit and tell me you’re the next best thing since the coming of Big John Match, John Blade himself. That’s fine too. So are the misogynistic slurs you’ve likely written down on little cue cards so you don’t forget how clever you think you are, cribbed off some of the things said about me by my jealous stalker ex boyfriend on Twitter. Or even ‘better’ you’ll try to tear me down because of the ones I do choose to interact with there.

Just understand that when you do, you’re not going to get any deeper under my skin than the foundation I use, or the eyeliner, or the lipstick, which is to say not at all.”


I feel it coming out my throat

Guess I better wash my mouth out with soap

God, I wish I never spoke

Now I gotta wash my mouth out with soap



I feel it coming out my throat

Guess I better wash my mouth out with soap

God, I wish I never spoke

Now I gotta wash my mouth out with soap


“You see Rogers, I’ve had to learn how to believe in myself all over again after the things I’ve endured and survived. My foundation is strong, and I’m every day one step closer to actually realizing my potential. I’ve finally got real support, people that care, and a fresh fire that keeps me going. That’s what matters. So you get in there and you fight me as hard as you can, but understand that you’re not going to stop me, win or lose. I am. You aren’t.”
She slips off the bed and flips the switch on the camera.

---

Lyrics: Melanie Martinez, "Soap"