The Hard Part II: Coping
Dec 22, 2016 18:37:27 GMT -5
Post by Cordy on Dec 22, 2016 18:37:27 GMT -5
...What Once Was Lost...
“I’m really just not in the spirit this year.” Alyssa Stevenson solemnly admitted with an exasperated sigh as she set the remote control down onto the sofa between them. Cordelia sympathetically glanced at her little sister and wondered if there was anything she could do to change that. Growing up, Christmastime had always been Alyssa’s favorite time of the year. Cordelia had always found it comical how her sister reacted as soon as Thanksgiving passed and that final stretch towards the holiday began and how giddy her little sister often became at the slightest inclinations of Christmas. In a sense, she kind of reminded Cordy of the little girl Jasmine from the show The Boondocks, and on more than one occasion, Cordelia had envisioned a younger version of Alyssa giving the same impassioned Santa Claus sermon that Jasmine had on the show.
Thinking about it always cracked Cordelia up.
Alyssa was usually one of those types that made it easy to get into the Christmas spirit. Decorations, songs, movies… Alyssa was all for it, and not a day usually went by where she wasn’t somehow expressing her anxiousness for the holiday. And it was never about the gifts. Cordelia had long noticed that. Even when they were younger, Cordelia could recall the conversations they’d have… trying to figure out what their parents had gotten them, and although it was always fun and exciting to do, the gifts were never Alyssa’s main priority. They’d never really been Cordelia’ either. It was the family setting and atmosphere that had always accompanied their holidays. The laughter, the games, the visiting family and rarely seen cousins and memories that were often created. It was a time of year that they often looked forward to because quite frankly, there was no other time like it. Not to say that precious memories weren’t had throughout the course of the rest of the year, Christmas time was always just… different.
Or at least it used to be.
The past few years had definitely changed that. Well it had for Cordelia at least, and the more she sat there with her sister, she began to realize that it had for her sister as well. A time that had once been a source of such great joy had become a source of unimaginable pain. The years when Cordelia had been essentially banned from home for opting to pursue a career in wrestling instead of finishing up her final year at the University of Miami… those years away had been hard. There was nothing she’d longed for more than being in the presence of her family and loved ones… but back then her father refused to budge on the notion despite the pleas of her mother and sister; and Cordelia, being her father’s daughter and just as stubborn, refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing her beg, of letting him know that she missed them.
So she stayed away.
And those Christmases were the hardest.
Absent was her sister pouncing on her and telling her to wake up so they could run and check the gifts under the tree; absent was her father’s ridiculously off key rendition of “Silent Night’ by The Temptations and the sound of her mother’s laughter. Instead, all she’d had on those Christmases were tears and an overwhelming sense of loneliness as she engaged in an eternal war questioning whether or not her decision had even been worth it. And suddenly all those things that she’d looked forward to during the holiday season were the source of her melancholiness. All the memories that she cherished were like brands, searing through her consciousness and leaving a welted mark that she simply couldn’t ignore. Truth be told, she never quite looked at the holidays the same, although the Christmas of 2014 did somewhat restore her faith and appreciation of the holiday season. But so much had transpired over the course of the past two years, and it was hard to believe that that feeling would ever be matched again.
“I know what you mean.” Cordelia responded with a slight nod of her head. Alyssa wasn’t the only one void of the Christmas spirit, although that was pretty hard to tell by looking at all of the decorations that adorned their home. She’d tried her absolute best to get into the mood, especially considering that it would be her nephew Cory’s very first Christmas -- but all of her attempts seemed futile, and a part of her knew why.
“It’s never going to feel the same.” Alyssa blurted out, almost as if she’d been reading Cordy’s mind. Apparently the same thoughts that had been plaguing Cordelia had been plaguing her sister as well. Alyssa turned and glanced at her older sister with soft eyes. “You know that right? Me, you… mom... dad.” There was a quiet hurt burning in Alyssa’s eyes as she glanced down at her sleeping son. “He’s never going to get to experience what we did. All of us together. The good times.”
Cordelia’s eyes fell upon the sleeping figure of her nine month old nephew. The year had undoubtedly been an amazing one, but his birth had without a doubt been the best part of it. A faint smile lined her lips as she gazed upon him resting peacefully. It was true, Cory would never know the Stevenson Christmases that she and Alyssa had grown up with. That sense of togetherness… it just wasn’t there in regards to their family anymore. Her parents divorce was the ultimate sign of that. It was something that Cordelia was still having trouble processing even months after her mother had broken the news to her.
All Cordelia had ever wanted was for her mother to stand up to her father, to stand up for she and Alyssa… to stand up for herself. But Cordy’s wish had come to fruition in a way that she’d never imagined. One that had permanently left the family disbanded. It was still awkward for Cordy, visiting her mother at her new place, and hearing stories of how her mother’s life was without her father. It didn’t seem right. Things weren’t supposed to be that way.
Yet her mother seemed happy. Happy with her newfound freedom, and happy with the journey of self discovery that she was embarking on. Cordelia couldn't be mad at that, no matter how badly she may have wished things were different.
The thought of them all together now for Christmas felt awkward as well. It wasn’t even something that Cordelia wanted to push for. There was just too much bad blood. Too many wounds still fresh that hadn’t had the proper time to heal and she knew that nothing good would come of it. The Christmases that she and her sister knew were officially a thing of the past.
“I know he won’t.” Cordelia finally admitted with equal sadness. She averted her gaze back to her sister. “But luckily for him, he won’t have to miss it like we do either.” She rationalized as she reached out and grabbed hold of her sister’s hand, giving it a light squeeze. It was her silver lining complex.
Alyssa had never really thought of it like that. All she knew was what she was missing and what her child would never know. “Maybe.” She retorted feebly.
“What he will know though… is love. Lots of it. Just like we did.”
Cordelia’s words were softly spoken and it was more so a promise to herself than anything. But Alyssa heard her words loud and clear and couldn’t be more in agreement. Cordelia’s simple reassurement was enough to put a smile on Alyssa’s face.
“Always.” she complied, giving her sister’s hand a squeeze back. It was in that moment that both ladies realized that this wasn’t about them anymore. They now had someone else that they could give the world to. It was no longer about the memories they had or the things that would never be again. It was no longer about what they lacked or what they missed… because despite it all, they had plenty of memories to hold onto and to cherish. Their mission now, was to pass that wealth along to the young child sleeping peacefully in his crib, and to make sure that he had an abundance of memories filled with love, laughter and happiness as well.
Cory Isaiah Stevenson would be too young to remember his first Christmas, both women knew that, but that didn’t mean that they couldn’t start their mission now. Christmas spirit or not, he would come to know the joys of Christmas.
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[REC]
“As you can see…” she continued, motioning around her with a wave of her hand. “Halloween has long come and gone. Hell, it’s Christmas time! Yet we’ve allowed these jesters to parade themselves around our company as self-proclaimed “kings” for far too long. For a good portion of the year, we all sat and watched as they carried on their reign of tyranny. The blindside attacks, the constant muggings and interferences… the way that they were so willing to use not only their numbers, but our unwillingness to come together and form a united front, against us. Truth be told, their reign, if you can even call it that, should have never been this long. Something should have been done about it much, much sooner. God knows it would have saved us from their how many month long circle jerk that they subjected us to?"
She shook her head.
“Every time you turned around, it was Cannon or Carmine tweeting about how the New Kings were the hottest things in the business. Every time you turned around, there was Anthony Rother gloating and being his usual obnoxious self after another heinous attack where neither he nor his band of goons faced any sort of repercussions. Every time you turned around, Danny Diamond was…” She had to stop herself there, and simply shrugged. “...well, nowhere to be seen, besides in the ring from time to time, underachieving like he’s done his entire career. But that’s besides the point. The point is they wanted us to believe that they were a force to be reckoned with. They wanted us to believe that they were untouchable and they did everything in their power to perpetuate the lie; to try and make us buy into the propaganda despite all the evidence that led to the contrary. And although we knew all along that they weren’t untouchable…. Our mistake was letting them believe that they were.”
“The tumor wasn’t viewed as malignant, so I guess we felt no need to get rid of it right away. It seemed like the proper course of action anyway, right?” She queried with a raised brow. “I mean, things like that, you just leave them to their own devices… a conglomeration of such extraordinary egos… those typically never really last long. While it may seem like a grand idea initially… realistically? It’s just not conceivable and long standing. Usually they implode in a matter of time, because let’s face it, as committed to a common goal as they all claim to be, the only thing they’re really committed to is themselves. Not one another. That’s where the conflict of interest always seems to be revealed. And isn’t that the case here? Where is the seemingly unstoppable unit that was being portrayed a mere months ago? How funny is it that they were only as strong as Tony Carmine’s ego? FGA’s own porcelain doll that tends to crack whenever placed under any sort of immense pressure.” She chuckled, thinking of how fast Tony got the fuck out of dodge when she did what she always seemed to do and delivered another crushing blow to his ego back at the Fifth Anniversary Show.
“There was no ‘us’...” she said with air quotation marks. “... when Tony’s dream of holding this…” she motioned towards her FGA World Championship, “...was dashed by yours truly. There were no group pow wows or bonding sessions. There were no thoughts of the New Kings, their so-called court and their supposed movement! No, Tony was only concerned with getting out the door fast enough to offset the embarrassment that was setting in of having come up short against me of all people. The New Kings weren’t bigger than his ego and they were only as strong as it. Meaning? They were never strong to begin with, and that’s very telling as to how they are in the position they’re in now.”
“Because one by one we’ve watched them fall.” She gazed up as if seeing something in the sky and then slowly let her gaze fall to the floor as if watching something flutter helplessly to the ground. “Danny Diamond? Gone. Tony Carmine? On twitter in the midst of a damn career crisis, questioning his place in this business. Johnny Cannon? Probably sipping his meals through a straw after the beating that Johnny Karma gave him on the last edition of Vertigo.” She winced, thinking of the ass whipping that Cannon caught at the hands of Karma. That was definitely one for the ages. Right up there with Chris Q catching the hands from Sean Sands. “And now that the so-called Kings have been dethroned… all we’re left with now are the final traces of their court. The jesters. The Usual Suspects.”
“Just when I thought I’d gotten you out of my hair once and for all.” She fumed, although not that seriously. There were no anger in her words or disappointment. It was just a statement of fact. After Retribution, she didn’t think she nor Dan would be crossing paths with The Suspects or Anthony Rother for quite some time. Not until they came back sniffing around after the Tag Team titles at least. “But alas, here we are once again boys, with you proving to be a thorn in everyone’s side. In this company’s side. And now look at where your antics have landed you. It’s gotten you a date at Final Frontier against three of this company’s most prolific names.”
“Not that I particularly want to be here, relegated to pest control. In one of the biggest shows of the year, I’d love nothing more than to be defending my FGA World Championship for the first time… or...or defending the FGA Tag Team Championships alongside Dan.” She sighed, thinking of the squandered opportunities. “But I realize that this is where I’m needed. Removing the abscess that plagues this company is necessary in order for it to grow; for it to be healthy again. And as champion of this company, that makes you and your removal a priority. We’ve allowed you to fester for far too long, but at Final Frontier? Johnny Karma, Dom Harter and myself? We rectify that situation.”
“It’s an unnnnnlikely trio.” She admitted with a slight laugh. “I mean, I’ve been through my fair share of wars with both Karma and Harter alike. There’s no love loss between any of us, but the thing is… we see the big picture. We know how this story plays out if we don’t kill this thing once and for all. If we allow it to slither away, that only leaves the possibility of it healing and coming back stronger.
“So at Final Frontier, we go for the kill.”
“All our differences cast aside for the greater good. I’m not trying to make this into a fairy tale or a storybook thing guys, but hey, I’m just being real with you. That’s what this is. The strength of the New Kings rested in their ability to fight together. It was your ability to pick your targets apart because they were alone. The numbers were on your side, but you no longer have that advantage. So what happens now? Now that you’ve lost your edge and the walls of the kingdom you found it so convenient to hide behind have crumbled down around you? And where are those kings that you’ve pledged fealty to? The ones that promised to keep you under the protection of their kingdom as long as you did their dirty work?”
“Gone. Overthrown and ousted. They never cared about you. All you ever were, were pawns for the King and Queen.” She held up a finger. “Tony was the Queen by the way. Although I doubt that needed any clarification, but yeah…” she cleared her throat. “Yet you fools are the ones left holding on to the ideals of a dying regime. Left to fight a war that you never even started, and forced to pay for the transgressions of those who you simple wanted to be in favor with. I can admire that though, your willingness to stay aboard your sinking ship. Guys of your character? Snakes like Rother? I wouldn’t have expected that from you to be honest. But at Final Frontier, that ship you’ve opted to faithfully ride to the very end? It capsizes. And there are no more life rafts for you to climb upon. At Final Frontier, Dom Harter, Johnny Karma and I? We do what should have been done a long ass time ago. We’re driving that final nail in the proverbial coffin of the New Kings and we’re bidding you adieu. It doesn’t even matter who your mystery partner is, because at this point? No one can save you.”
“Hell, if they were smart? They wouldn’t even show up. They’d try and save themselves and do the thing that you obviously couldn’t do. Because Final Frontier marks the end of so many things. It marks the end of an incredible year for me. It marks the end of an incredible year for this company. But it also marks the end of you. Around this time, so many people start up with the ‘new year, new me’ tweets and memes. Unfortunately you won’t have that privilege. Cause if we have our way at Final Frontier? The new year is one you won’t ever get to see.”
“You’ll be a thorn in my side no more.”
“A cancer to this company no more.”
“And FGA will ring in the new year, officially… cancer free.”
She smiled as she placed a hand over her heart and patted her chest.
“That’s my gift, from me to you, the fine folks and fans of Frontier Grappling Arts.”
She blew a kiss at the camera.
“Happy Holidays and Get Familiar.”
