A Fine Line
Oct 27, 2016 19:57:01 GMT -5
Post by Cordy on Oct 27, 2016 19:57:01 GMT -5
off cam
“You can’t fool me, Deli. You never could.” Kerry Windsor spouted off assuredly as he cast a knowing glance into his protégé’s direction. Cordelia didn’t look at him. Instead she simply smiled feeling his gaze upon her. The trademarked smirk of arrogance and certainty that he always seemed to don; she didn’t even have to look in his direction to know that it accompanied the gaze.
He was always so sure of himself no matter what it pertained to.
Truthfully it was a quality that she’d always admired about him; one that she’d tried her hardest to replicate. To what degree of success? She couldn’t quite say for sure but she’d figured she’d done a hell of a job. Confidence was her strong suit. But even she realized that it wasn’t on par with Kerry’s level of confidence. That was damn near impenetrable and doubt was something she wholeheartedly believed he was incapable of feeling. She hadn’t quite gotten there and maybe she never would. She was human after all and Kerry?
Well, he was Kerry.
“I’ve never tried.” She corrected, as she adjusted the shades on her face before finally deciding to remove them altogether, setting them down on the deck table.. Although that may not have been a full truth, it was very close to one. Candidness had always been a staple in their relationship and served a vital role in every dynamic of it: as student and mentor and as friends.
There were never any punches held back between them.
Cordelia knew for a fact if she ever needed someone to tell her like it was and not how they thought she’d like to hear it, then Kerry was the person to go to. Her feelings weren’t necessarily his priority, but her best interests were; and that was something she’d realized couldn’t be said for so many of the people that had come and gone from her life over the years.
Her circle of friends had grown incredibly thin. Some just weren’t as real as they claimed to have been and others she just kept at a distance; love being the only thread that kept them bound. But Kerry was truly one of the people that she appreciated having in her life, and she’d always tried her hardest to be as open with him as he was with her.
“Oh, you have.” He retorted, raising a finger in dispute. “I’ve just been able to see through it… like I do now.”
She could think back to the times he probably had in mind; the times she’d lied and said she was ok when she wasn’t, or during those tumultuous stretches that happened every so often in her life where she liked to pretend that she was Wonder Woman. In all those cases he’d always been able to see through the facade; in all those cases he knew that the strength she’d displayed under those circumstances had been nothing more than an act.
But exactly what was he seeing through now?
There hadn’t been anything that she’d tried to hide from him that afternoon. Nothing that she’d left out or tried to avoid in their long overdue catching up session. His statement had her mystified.
“There’s nothing to see through though, Windy.” She said, turning her head to glance over at him. “Of course you’d know that if you were ever around!” she joked, although there was a lot of truth behind her words. It felt as if she hardly got to see him anymore. But naturally, she understood why. His other business ventures had him traveling the globe often. Italy had been a frequent spot for him as of late due to the partnership he’d developed with the luxury clothing company Kiton. He’d been ecstatic about the launching of his special edition suit line with them, and he’d also been excited about the launching of the LFL and being the owner of the New York Firebirds. He patented himself the LFL Robert Kraft, telling anyone that would listen how he was on the verge of developing a dynasty. Cordelia always joked that he was the enemy now, seeing as how she was the co-owner of the Philadelphia Bellas franchise, a rival team in the division.
The more she thought about it, the more she realized just how much of their conversations revolved around the blossoming Lingerie Football league. The discussions about wrestling and the business in general had grown to be few and far between. Those talks were the ones that Cordelia always enjoyed the most. Being able to pick his brain, absorbing the abundance of knowledge that he was always willing to share… there wasn’t a doubt in her mind that it had helped catapult her career to where it was.
Being under his wing had been a luxury; but Cordelia could see that Kerry was drifting further and further away from the business. He simply didn’t keep up with it the way that he once did, and a part of her wondered if that was some sort of coping mechanism, seeing as his career had officially come to an end and not under his terms.
She couldn’t imagine what that felt like, although she had a semblance of an idea. But she would think that she’d want to distance herself from the business as much as she possibly could too if that were to ever happen to her. He seemed to be in a great place though. Genuinely happy. His relationship with Star seemed to be going swell, although that was something that Cordelia never pried into much. It still felt awkward to her considering how close she’d been to all three of them. Kerry, Sheree and Star. But people grew apart and other people grew closer, it was simply how life worked. Things were amicable there, so Cordelia didn’t question much. As long as everyone found their happiness, it was all she really cared for.
“This whole tag team thing.” He replied, stirring up his rum and coke a bit. “Status Quo. I know this isn’t really what you want.” He added rather matter of factly.
The bluntness in his statement left her a bit taken aback.
“What in the world makes you say that? Do you not see the success Dan and I are having?” she quipped defensively.
“Of course I see it. Everyone does. As if there was ever any doubt that you’d be successful.” He rolled his eyes, seemingly annoyed.
“Then how am I trying to fool anyone?” she asked, genuinely curious.
“By pretending you’re happy there. As if it’s all you want.” He studied her for a brief second, staring her dead in the eyes. “Because you and I both know that ain’t the case. Her lack of a response caused him to chuckle. It wasn’t intentional. She was simply trying to piece his words together and understand how he’d drawn that conclusion. “Sex Sells… Status Quo. It’s an entirely different dynamic and you’re at an entirely different stage of your career.” He continued, as if trying to fill in the blanks for her. “Back in PDW, those tag titles were all you and Cindy ever craved. It was your first taste of gold, your first true accomplishments in this business. But you’re a long way from that now, kid. You’ve ventured out. You’ve tasted success on your own. You’re not that same girl anymore, Cordelia.”
“I know that I’m not.” She replied, almost sounding flustered by his accusation. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not happy being a tag team champion, Kerry.”
“It doesn’t mean you have to be ashamed of wanting more either.” he rapidly replied. Seeing the blank look on her face, he continued on. “Whenever anyone mentions that FGA World Championship to you, you deflect; as if it’s wrong to talk about it; as if it’s wrong to still want it even though you’re a tag team champion. Maybe you do it out of modesty. Maybe you do it in a sense of being humble, or to not cause a rift. But there’s absolutely nothing fucking wrong with being ambitious, even if others may try to tell you so.” He surmised with a simple shrug. “You’re not greedy for wanting more, Cordy. You’re fucking human.”
She remained quiet. His words were true to an extent. Talks of her pursuing the FGA World Championship was something she’d often tried to avoid. Thoughts of it in general were something she tried to push far from her mind. In some weird and strange way she felt disloyal by thinking of such things when Status Quo were in the midst of building something special in the tag division. But those thoughts couldn’t really be ignored. Not with the announcement of the Wildcard Lottery. Kerry hadn’t been as out of tune as she’d thought.
“Don’t limit yourself.” He said. “Because I’ve missed that.” he noted, nodding towards her.
She scrunched up her face, looking perplexed. “Missed what?”
“That fire burning in your eyes.” He smiled. “I haven’t seen it in quite some time.”
And maybe they both knew why.
“Is there really a difference between greed and ambition?” She ponders aloud, the conversation that she had with Kerry Windsor still fresh in her mind. The question in itself wasn’t necessarily a new one. She’d long contemplated the distinctions between the two; wondering where that fine line was that separated the two. Her gaze has yet to reach the camera, instead she stares off to the side, something in the far distance keeping her attention before she eventually glances down at the FGA World Tag Team title that is draped over her shoulder. A small smile forms at the sight of it as she carefully drags her finger along its jagged contours and admires its beauty. God she’d missed it; her prized possession. The sight of it in Rother’s grubby hands, knowing that he’d held her baby for so long… the thought of it all made her skin crawl. But it was back now. Back in her possession. Back home where it belonged. That thought, that simple realization causes her smile to brighten.
“Or are they truly one in the same?” She continues, her eyes observant. “Only differentiated by the cloths of perception that we place upon them?” She probes further, her inquiry serious in nature. Letting out a sigh, she stops the movement of her finger, letting it linger momentarily before dropping her hand to her side. “Is my hunger for more fueled by my ambitious nature? Or is it simply… greed?”
The question is out there for the world to make its distinction. Whatever label they choose to place upon her doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. She’s already made her peace with it and the judgment that will accompany it.
“I am one half of the reigning… defending… FGA World Tag Team Champions.” She declares proudly, patting the title for extra emphasis. “This title means so much to me. These titles mean the world to us, hell you saw what Dan and I had to go through in order to get them — but more importantly, you all saw the lengths we were willing to go to keep them. Fending off two teams at once… a ladder match; no matter how insurmountable the odds may have seemed, at the end of the day this baby always came home where it belonged. It damn sure hasn’t been easy, but every time…” she removes the belt from her shoulder, holding it up now as she stares up at it. “....every… single... time I look at this, I know that it was worth it. All the bruises, all of the scars, all of the frustration… the constantly being targeted…” her voice trails off a bit now as she scoffs and lets out a low chuckle.
She knew all about being targeted.
The weight of her name alone drew much ire from her peers. Those who suffered from the green eyes of envy and those who simply saw her
The stunt that #RubyWay had pulled at Retribution was still fresh on her mind. She hadn’t forgotten nor would she ever. That was a situation she knew would get handled in due time. But for now her attention was elsewhere. Maybe it shouldn’t have been, and maybe that was why she felt a twinge of guilt for looking forward to this upcoming weekend as much as she was... but there was no way she was going to turn down the hand that she’d been dealt.
Especially when it looked like such a fucking winner.
“It’s all worth it, and I wouldn’t change a goddamn thing because being a champion in this company is an honor like no other. To earn that distinction amongst a group such as this with such a deep talent pool…” she lets out a whistle and nods her head. “That fucking says something. And it’s not a distinction that I take lightly, believe me.”
She shrugs.
“...but am I wrong for not wanting this to be the end all be all?” She questions as she lowers the title down now, holding it chest level in her hands. For a split second she looks torn, visually depicting the dilemma swirling in her head and tugging at her heart.
Right there in her hands lies something so valuable and precious to her. The symbolization of her journey. A token to how far she’s come and she should be happy with that, shouldn’t she? She should be content with that… and she thought that she was… until she was given the opportunity to pursue the one thing she ever wanted.
It was like finding someone new. Someone that was willing to give you everything that you ever needed, but you just weren’t over that old flame, on some Jazmine Sullivan In Love With Another Man type shit. The slightest of messages could bring those old feelings back and that was the exact position that Cordelia found herself in. The Tag titles hadn’t been her focus initially. Dynamic Duos had simply been meant as a challenge. A challenge that she and Dan conquered. Status Quo had grown into something more and she was proud to be apart of something so special. Yet deep down, she knew what her ultimate goal was, and it had never changed although her focus had. This weekend was a reminder.
“Am I wrong for still wanting more?” She questions, raising her eyes to the camera once again, searching for an answer that simply won’t come from the lens.
And in that instant, the moment the words escaped her lips, she could see Tony Carmine’s mocking sneer in her head; that antagonizing grin of his when he realized that the words he’d been taunting Dan with…. held some sort of merit.
Cordelia Stevenson still wanted to be the FGA World Champion.
“And the opportunity for more has presented itself not only to me, but to fifteen...” she couldn’t help but to break out into her #RubyVoice at the mentioning of her number. A fucking PTSD induced habit from hearing Ruby Tyler rant ad nauseum about the number of teams that she and Kevin had to overcome in order to become the first ever WLW Tag Team Champions. God forbid she won this lethal lottery tournament. Cordy was sure she’d be hearing that number in her nightmares spoken in Ruby’s whiny little voice over and over again. God couldn’t be that cruel, could he? She finally went back to her normal tone. “...other competitors as well, including my tag team partner, in the form of this Wildcard Lottery.”
She cocks her head to the side and flings her title back over her shoulder.
“First and foremost, allow me to say thank you to Zero McHannon for being the fuckboy that you are. I can already imagine the fit you’d throw if no one acknowledged you, or recognized just how instrumental you were in all of this coming together.” She smirks and gives a slight shrug. “So here it is.” She straightens up her posture a bit, looking a bit more serious. “We wouldn’t be in this position if it weren’t for you. This entire Wildcard Lottery would not be taking place if you hadn’t had your Steve Urkel, ‘I Don’t Have To Take This… I’m Going Home’ moment.” She rolls her eyes. “I won’t lie. I’m a bit sad that you’re gone, Zero. Sad that I won’t be the one to finally put you in your place, but you saw what I said on twitter right? If I win this belt, I’m coming to find you just on GP to whip your ass and leave no doubts as to who the true champion is. Because I already know that’s your trump card. That’s what you’re going to pride yourself on and that’s what you’re going to tell yourself to lessen the sting of the realization that you’re no longer at the top of this here mountain. You were a cog in the wheel. Cogs get replaced all the time. It happened when I got hurt. It happened when Chandler got hurt. It will happen now that you’re gone. This business waits for no one, Zero. After forty-five years or however long you’ve been doing this shit, I would think you’d know that by now.” She can’t help but to shake her head at the now former FGA World Champion. “You wanted to show just how special you were? To show how much you truly meant to this company?”
“Well walking away wasn’t the answer, McHannon. Because all we’ll see is just how easy it is to go on without you. I think that will hurt your pride more than anything else, and like the idiot that you are… you did it to yourself.”
“And I’ll be awaiting your tweets in response. Because I know you’ll see this and I know you’ll have a lot to say. You ALWAYS have a lot to say.” She says rolling her eyes and wishing that twitter still enforced its twitter jail. People like Zero needed it. They needed a break from themselves.
“But now that you’ve walked away, you’ve left the door wide open. There is a spot that needs to be filled atop this company, and now sixteen of us are looking to fill that void… at whatever cost.” As she says this, her eyes divert from the camera and towards the ground. Her thoughts from earlier still trying to push to the forefront of her consciousness. “And the first step in getting there is making it through a tag team match.” She breaths deeply, exhaling with a sigh of relief. “And unlike most of the people in the field, I’m actually partnering with someone I’m quite familiar with. Someone I’ve had… a decent amount of success with as a tag team partner.” She laughs, glancing at her title to emphasize her point. “The luck of the draw has Status Quo, together again… going against the team of Johnny Karma and Noelle Smith.”
“The competition is definitely no slouch.” Cordelia admits, gnawing on her lower lip. “Johnny, I’m all too familiar with you. We’ve stepped into the ring against one another on countless occasions and I’ve watched your star shine brighter this past year than it ever has before. I’ve seen the strides you’ve made, not only as a competitor but as a person. And I know that you’re fighting with a heavy heart right now.” Once again she lowers her eyes, understanding the pain that Johnny must be dealing with still. She sympathizes with him. “My condolences by the way. I never did get the opportunity to offer them to you, so I’ll take the opportunity to do so now. I know how hard it is to lose someone close to you but just remember that the things we never lose are the memories that they leave us with. I can only imagine what this opportunity means to someone like you in the wake of all that you are going through. You’re one of the few people in this thing that honestly knows how it feels… being so close, yet being so fucking far at the same time. Being a fraction of a second away from realizing your dream… only to have it dashed moments later.” She recalls from experience the devastating losses she suffered to both Jimmy Page and Chandler Scott when the FGA World Championship was on the line. “The longing… the wanting to get back, the craving for just another chance, the uncertainty of not knowing when it will come, or if it ever will… that lingering feeling that sits on your consciousness when you realize you may have blown your only chances at it, and the way that it just eats at you…” she spews from perfect memory the things that haunt her even til this day.
“You know what that feels like, Johnny. So I know exactly what this Wildcard Lottery means to you; what it symbolizes, what it represents. This could be the last chance you’ll ever get to reach that mountaintop. Most people in this thing aside from you, Tony, and Dan… they’re just happy to be here. They’re looking at this with wide eyed awe. But it’s an entirely different feeling when it’s not your first rodeo, Karma. You know that. For people like us? Simply being here isn’t enough. Not anymore. We need that punctuation at the end of our stories. We need that culmination of everything we’ve worked for over the years to be that FGA World Championship. You know it just as well as I do, and that’s why I know you’re going to be something fierce in that ring. You’re going to fight like a desperate man because you have a clear understanding of what’s at stake here. But do you know who doesn’t?”
“Your partner.”
“Bright eyed Noelle, sweet as pie.” Cordy says, genuinely meaning it. “A well full of potential, and highly capable of being one of this company’s brightest stars. The girl definitely comes from a good pedigree as I know she’s someone that my own personal mentor has somewhat taken under his wing at one point as well. She knows what’s at stake, Johnny… but does she want it like we do? Does she want it like Dan wants it? Does she want it like the rest of us who are plagued with that feeling of having come up short… of having had our moment slip through our fingers. She doesn’t know that feeling, Johnny. Not to the magnitude that we do. You know just as well as I do that it’s going to take a team effort to put Dan and I down, but can you count on her to match your ferocity, your passion, your desperation?”
At this, Cordelia shakes her head.
“Not saying she won’t put up a fight. I know that she will. But the level of fight that you’re going to get from her just ain’t gonna match what you’re going up against. Are you willing to shoulder that load? Bear that burden? Be that desperate? Are you willing to do whatever it takes, Johnny?”
She sighs as she glances back down at the title on her shoulder.”
“Because I can stand here and tell you that I am. That I am willing to go the extra mile and do whatever needs to be done to move one step closer to my rightful place atop this company. I can stand here and tell you that I am willing to go through anyone and anything that dare stands in my way…”
“... including my own tag team partner if we happen to advance to the next stage.”
“And Dan? It’s nothing personal love, but after we’re done with Noelle and Johnny?”
“You lose the privilege of being my partner.”
“But hey, it’s only for one night.”
“You can’t fool me, Deli. You never could.” Kerry Windsor spouted off assuredly as he cast a knowing glance into his protégé’s direction. Cordelia didn’t look at him. Instead she simply smiled feeling his gaze upon her. The trademarked smirk of arrogance and certainty that he always seemed to don; she didn’t even have to look in his direction to know that it accompanied the gaze.
He was always so sure of himself no matter what it pertained to.
Truthfully it was a quality that she’d always admired about him; one that she’d tried her hardest to replicate. To what degree of success? She couldn’t quite say for sure but she’d figured she’d done a hell of a job. Confidence was her strong suit. But even she realized that it wasn’t on par with Kerry’s level of confidence. That was damn near impenetrable and doubt was something she wholeheartedly believed he was incapable of feeling. She hadn’t quite gotten there and maybe she never would. She was human after all and Kerry?
Well, he was Kerry.
“I’ve never tried.” She corrected, as she adjusted the shades on her face before finally deciding to remove them altogether, setting them down on the deck table.. Although that may not have been a full truth, it was very close to one. Candidness had always been a staple in their relationship and served a vital role in every dynamic of it: as student and mentor and as friends.
There were never any punches held back between them.
Cordelia knew for a fact if she ever needed someone to tell her like it was and not how they thought she’d like to hear it, then Kerry was the person to go to. Her feelings weren’t necessarily his priority, but her best interests were; and that was something she’d realized couldn’t be said for so many of the people that had come and gone from her life over the years.
Her circle of friends had grown incredibly thin. Some just weren’t as real as they claimed to have been and others she just kept at a distance; love being the only thread that kept them bound. But Kerry was truly one of the people that she appreciated having in her life, and she’d always tried her hardest to be as open with him as he was with her.
“Oh, you have.” He retorted, raising a finger in dispute. “I’ve just been able to see through it… like I do now.”
She could think back to the times he probably had in mind; the times she’d lied and said she was ok when she wasn’t, or during those tumultuous stretches that happened every so often in her life where she liked to pretend that she was Wonder Woman. In all those cases he’d always been able to see through the facade; in all those cases he knew that the strength she’d displayed under those circumstances had been nothing more than an act.
But exactly what was he seeing through now?
There hadn’t been anything that she’d tried to hide from him that afternoon. Nothing that she’d left out or tried to avoid in their long overdue catching up session. His statement had her mystified.
“There’s nothing to see through though, Windy.” She said, turning her head to glance over at him. “Of course you’d know that if you were ever around!” she joked, although there was a lot of truth behind her words. It felt as if she hardly got to see him anymore. But naturally, she understood why. His other business ventures had him traveling the globe often. Italy had been a frequent spot for him as of late due to the partnership he’d developed with the luxury clothing company Kiton. He’d been ecstatic about the launching of his special edition suit line with them, and he’d also been excited about the launching of the LFL and being the owner of the New York Firebirds. He patented himself the LFL Robert Kraft, telling anyone that would listen how he was on the verge of developing a dynasty. Cordelia always joked that he was the enemy now, seeing as how she was the co-owner of the Philadelphia Bellas franchise, a rival team in the division.
The more she thought about it, the more she realized just how much of their conversations revolved around the blossoming Lingerie Football league. The discussions about wrestling and the business in general had grown to be few and far between. Those talks were the ones that Cordelia always enjoyed the most. Being able to pick his brain, absorbing the abundance of knowledge that he was always willing to share… there wasn’t a doubt in her mind that it had helped catapult her career to where it was.
Being under his wing had been a luxury; but Cordelia could see that Kerry was drifting further and further away from the business. He simply didn’t keep up with it the way that he once did, and a part of her wondered if that was some sort of coping mechanism, seeing as his career had officially come to an end and not under his terms.
She couldn’t imagine what that felt like, although she had a semblance of an idea. But she would think that she’d want to distance herself from the business as much as she possibly could too if that were to ever happen to her. He seemed to be in a great place though. Genuinely happy. His relationship with Star seemed to be going swell, although that was something that Cordelia never pried into much. It still felt awkward to her considering how close she’d been to all three of them. Kerry, Sheree and Star. But people grew apart and other people grew closer, it was simply how life worked. Things were amicable there, so Cordelia didn’t question much. As long as everyone found their happiness, it was all she really cared for.
“This whole tag team thing.” He replied, stirring up his rum and coke a bit. “Status Quo. I know this isn’t really what you want.” He added rather matter of factly.
The bluntness in his statement left her a bit taken aback.
“What in the world makes you say that? Do you not see the success Dan and I are having?” she quipped defensively.
“Of course I see it. Everyone does. As if there was ever any doubt that you’d be successful.” He rolled his eyes, seemingly annoyed.
“Then how am I trying to fool anyone?” she asked, genuinely curious.
“By pretending you’re happy there. As if it’s all you want.” He studied her for a brief second, staring her dead in the eyes. “Because you and I both know that ain’t the case. Her lack of a response caused him to chuckle. It wasn’t intentional. She was simply trying to piece his words together and understand how he’d drawn that conclusion. “Sex Sells… Status Quo. It’s an entirely different dynamic and you’re at an entirely different stage of your career.” He continued, as if trying to fill in the blanks for her. “Back in PDW, those tag titles were all you and Cindy ever craved. It was your first taste of gold, your first true accomplishments in this business. But you’re a long way from that now, kid. You’ve ventured out. You’ve tasted success on your own. You’re not that same girl anymore, Cordelia.”
“I know that I’m not.” She replied, almost sounding flustered by his accusation. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not happy being a tag team champion, Kerry.”
“It doesn’t mean you have to be ashamed of wanting more either.” he rapidly replied. Seeing the blank look on her face, he continued on. “Whenever anyone mentions that FGA World Championship to you, you deflect; as if it’s wrong to talk about it; as if it’s wrong to still want it even though you’re a tag team champion. Maybe you do it out of modesty. Maybe you do it in a sense of being humble, or to not cause a rift. But there’s absolutely nothing fucking wrong with being ambitious, even if others may try to tell you so.” He surmised with a simple shrug. “You’re not greedy for wanting more, Cordy. You’re fucking human.”
She remained quiet. His words were true to an extent. Talks of her pursuing the FGA World Championship was something she’d often tried to avoid. Thoughts of it in general were something she tried to push far from her mind. In some weird and strange way she felt disloyal by thinking of such things when Status Quo were in the midst of building something special in the tag division. But those thoughts couldn’t really be ignored. Not with the announcement of the Wildcard Lottery. Kerry hadn’t been as out of tune as she’d thought.
“Don’t limit yourself.” He said. “Because I’ve missed that.” he noted, nodding towards her.
She scrunched up her face, looking perplexed. “Missed what?”
“That fire burning in your eyes.” He smiled. “I haven’t seen it in quite some time.”
And maybe they both knew why.
------
“Is there really a difference between greed and ambition?” She ponders aloud, the conversation that she had with Kerry Windsor still fresh in her mind. The question in itself wasn’t necessarily a new one. She’d long contemplated the distinctions between the two; wondering where that fine line was that separated the two. Her gaze has yet to reach the camera, instead she stares off to the side, something in the far distance keeping her attention before she eventually glances down at the FGA World Tag Team title that is draped over her shoulder. A small smile forms at the sight of it as she carefully drags her finger along its jagged contours and admires its beauty. God she’d missed it; her prized possession. The sight of it in Rother’s grubby hands, knowing that he’d held her baby for so long… the thought of it all made her skin crawl. But it was back now. Back in her possession. Back home where it belonged. That thought, that simple realization causes her smile to brighten.
“Or are they truly one in the same?” She continues, her eyes observant. “Only differentiated by the cloths of perception that we place upon them?” She probes further, her inquiry serious in nature. Letting out a sigh, she stops the movement of her finger, letting it linger momentarily before dropping her hand to her side. “Is my hunger for more fueled by my ambitious nature? Or is it simply… greed?”
The question is out there for the world to make its distinction. Whatever label they choose to place upon her doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. She’s already made her peace with it and the judgment that will accompany it.
“I am one half of the reigning… defending… FGA World Tag Team Champions.” She declares proudly, patting the title for extra emphasis. “This title means so much to me. These titles mean the world to us, hell you saw what Dan and I had to go through in order to get them — but more importantly, you all saw the lengths we were willing to go to keep them. Fending off two teams at once… a ladder match; no matter how insurmountable the odds may have seemed, at the end of the day this baby always came home where it belonged. It damn sure hasn’t been easy, but every time…” she removes the belt from her shoulder, holding it up now as she stares up at it. “....every… single... time I look at this, I know that it was worth it. All the bruises, all of the scars, all of the frustration… the constantly being targeted…” her voice trails off a bit now as she scoffs and lets out a low chuckle.
She knew all about being targeted.
The weight of her name alone drew much ire from her peers. Those who suffered from the green eyes of envy and those who simply saw her
The stunt that #RubyWay had pulled at Retribution was still fresh on her mind. She hadn’t forgotten nor would she ever. That was a situation she knew would get handled in due time. But for now her attention was elsewhere. Maybe it shouldn’t have been, and maybe that was why she felt a twinge of guilt for looking forward to this upcoming weekend as much as she was... but there was no way she was going to turn down the hand that she’d been dealt.
Especially when it looked like such a fucking winner.
“It’s all worth it, and I wouldn’t change a goddamn thing because being a champion in this company is an honor like no other. To earn that distinction amongst a group such as this with such a deep talent pool…” she lets out a whistle and nods her head. “That fucking says something. And it’s not a distinction that I take lightly, believe me.”
She shrugs.
“...but am I wrong for not wanting this to be the end all be all?” She questions as she lowers the title down now, holding it chest level in her hands. For a split second she looks torn, visually depicting the dilemma swirling in her head and tugging at her heart.
Right there in her hands lies something so valuable and precious to her. The symbolization of her journey. A token to how far she’s come and she should be happy with that, shouldn’t she? She should be content with that… and she thought that she was… until she was given the opportunity to pursue the one thing she ever wanted.
It was like finding someone new. Someone that was willing to give you everything that you ever needed, but you just weren’t over that old flame, on some Jazmine Sullivan In Love With Another Man type shit. The slightest of messages could bring those old feelings back and that was the exact position that Cordelia found herself in. The Tag titles hadn’t been her focus initially. Dynamic Duos had simply been meant as a challenge. A challenge that she and Dan conquered. Status Quo had grown into something more and she was proud to be apart of something so special. Yet deep down, she knew what her ultimate goal was, and it had never changed although her focus had. This weekend was a reminder.
“Am I wrong for still wanting more?” She questions, raising her eyes to the camera once again, searching for an answer that simply won’t come from the lens.
And in that instant, the moment the words escaped her lips, she could see Tony Carmine’s mocking sneer in her head; that antagonizing grin of his when he realized that the words he’d been taunting Dan with…. held some sort of merit.
Cordelia Stevenson still wanted to be the FGA World Champion.
“And the opportunity for more has presented itself not only to me, but to fifteen...” she couldn’t help but to break out into her #RubyVoice at the mentioning of her number. A fucking PTSD induced habit from hearing Ruby Tyler rant ad nauseum about the number of teams that she and Kevin had to overcome in order to become the first ever WLW Tag Team Champions. God forbid she won this lethal lottery tournament. Cordy was sure she’d be hearing that number in her nightmares spoken in Ruby’s whiny little voice over and over again. God couldn’t be that cruel, could he? She finally went back to her normal tone. “...other competitors as well, including my tag team partner, in the form of this Wildcard Lottery.”
She cocks her head to the side and flings her title back over her shoulder.
“First and foremost, allow me to say thank you to Zero McHannon for being the fuckboy that you are. I can already imagine the fit you’d throw if no one acknowledged you, or recognized just how instrumental you were in all of this coming together.” She smirks and gives a slight shrug. “So here it is.” She straightens up her posture a bit, looking a bit more serious. “We wouldn’t be in this position if it weren’t for you. This entire Wildcard Lottery would not be taking place if you hadn’t had your Steve Urkel, ‘I Don’t Have To Take This… I’m Going Home’ moment.” She rolls her eyes. “I won’t lie. I’m a bit sad that you’re gone, Zero. Sad that I won’t be the one to finally put you in your place, but you saw what I said on twitter right? If I win this belt, I’m coming to find you just on GP to whip your ass and leave no doubts as to who the true champion is. Because I already know that’s your trump card. That’s what you’re going to pride yourself on and that’s what you’re going to tell yourself to lessen the sting of the realization that you’re no longer at the top of this here mountain. You were a cog in the wheel. Cogs get replaced all the time. It happened when I got hurt. It happened when Chandler got hurt. It will happen now that you’re gone. This business waits for no one, Zero. After forty-five years or however long you’ve been doing this shit, I would think you’d know that by now.” She can’t help but to shake her head at the now former FGA World Champion. “You wanted to show just how special you were? To show how much you truly meant to this company?”
“Well walking away wasn’t the answer, McHannon. Because all we’ll see is just how easy it is to go on without you. I think that will hurt your pride more than anything else, and like the idiot that you are… you did it to yourself.”
“And I’ll be awaiting your tweets in response. Because I know you’ll see this and I know you’ll have a lot to say. You ALWAYS have a lot to say.” She says rolling her eyes and wishing that twitter still enforced its twitter jail. People like Zero needed it. They needed a break from themselves.
“But now that you’ve walked away, you’ve left the door wide open. There is a spot that needs to be filled atop this company, and now sixteen of us are looking to fill that void… at whatever cost.” As she says this, her eyes divert from the camera and towards the ground. Her thoughts from earlier still trying to push to the forefront of her consciousness. “And the first step in getting there is making it through a tag team match.” She breaths deeply, exhaling with a sigh of relief. “And unlike most of the people in the field, I’m actually partnering with someone I’m quite familiar with. Someone I’ve had… a decent amount of success with as a tag team partner.” She laughs, glancing at her title to emphasize her point. “The luck of the draw has Status Quo, together again… going against the team of Johnny Karma and Noelle Smith.”
“The competition is definitely no slouch.” Cordelia admits, gnawing on her lower lip. “Johnny, I’m all too familiar with you. We’ve stepped into the ring against one another on countless occasions and I’ve watched your star shine brighter this past year than it ever has before. I’ve seen the strides you’ve made, not only as a competitor but as a person. And I know that you’re fighting with a heavy heart right now.” Once again she lowers her eyes, understanding the pain that Johnny must be dealing with still. She sympathizes with him. “My condolences by the way. I never did get the opportunity to offer them to you, so I’ll take the opportunity to do so now. I know how hard it is to lose someone close to you but just remember that the things we never lose are the memories that they leave us with. I can only imagine what this opportunity means to someone like you in the wake of all that you are going through. You’re one of the few people in this thing that honestly knows how it feels… being so close, yet being so fucking far at the same time. Being a fraction of a second away from realizing your dream… only to have it dashed moments later.” She recalls from experience the devastating losses she suffered to both Jimmy Page and Chandler Scott when the FGA World Championship was on the line. “The longing… the wanting to get back, the craving for just another chance, the uncertainty of not knowing when it will come, or if it ever will… that lingering feeling that sits on your consciousness when you realize you may have blown your only chances at it, and the way that it just eats at you…” she spews from perfect memory the things that haunt her even til this day.
“You know what that feels like, Johnny. So I know exactly what this Wildcard Lottery means to you; what it symbolizes, what it represents. This could be the last chance you’ll ever get to reach that mountaintop. Most people in this thing aside from you, Tony, and Dan… they’re just happy to be here. They’re looking at this with wide eyed awe. But it’s an entirely different feeling when it’s not your first rodeo, Karma. You know that. For people like us? Simply being here isn’t enough. Not anymore. We need that punctuation at the end of our stories. We need that culmination of everything we’ve worked for over the years to be that FGA World Championship. You know it just as well as I do, and that’s why I know you’re going to be something fierce in that ring. You’re going to fight like a desperate man because you have a clear understanding of what’s at stake here. But do you know who doesn’t?”
“Your partner.”
“Bright eyed Noelle, sweet as pie.” Cordy says, genuinely meaning it. “A well full of potential, and highly capable of being one of this company’s brightest stars. The girl definitely comes from a good pedigree as I know she’s someone that my own personal mentor has somewhat taken under his wing at one point as well. She knows what’s at stake, Johnny… but does she want it like we do? Does she want it like Dan wants it? Does she want it like the rest of us who are plagued with that feeling of having come up short… of having had our moment slip through our fingers. She doesn’t know that feeling, Johnny. Not to the magnitude that we do. You know just as well as I do that it’s going to take a team effort to put Dan and I down, but can you count on her to match your ferocity, your passion, your desperation?”
At this, Cordelia shakes her head.
“Not saying she won’t put up a fight. I know that she will. But the level of fight that you’re going to get from her just ain’t gonna match what you’re going up against. Are you willing to shoulder that load? Bear that burden? Be that desperate? Are you willing to do whatever it takes, Johnny?”
She sighs as she glances back down at the title on her shoulder.”
“Because I can stand here and tell you that I am. That I am willing to go the extra mile and do whatever needs to be done to move one step closer to my rightful place atop this company. I can stand here and tell you that I am willing to go through anyone and anything that dare stands in my way…”
“... including my own tag team partner if we happen to advance to the next stage.”
“And Dan? It’s nothing personal love, but after we’re done with Noelle and Johnny?”
“You lose the privilege of being my partner.”
“But hey, it’s only for one night.”
