AMANDA BYNES GETS BEAUTY TIPS FROM ME!!!!!!!!
Oct 4, 2016 15:24:25 GMT -5
Post by Perello on Oct 4, 2016 15:24:25 GMT -5
The picture opened outside of the Hollywood home of Prince MacRear. He was shirtless and had on a pair of short khaki shorts with thong-strapped sandals (not) covering his feet. His was face was flushed, a bead of sweat dripping down his forehead.
“This has to be thee WORST week of my life!!!”
This was something we were all used to hearing MacRear say. He was a boy who was waaaay too overdramatic, and someone who thought the worst of things even over something miniscule.
“Can you NASTIES BLAME ME FOR BEING THE WAY I AM?! HUH?! CAN YOU?! YOU CAN’T BECAUSE ALL OF MY PROBLEMS ARE LEGITIMATE, MMMMKAY? LET US START WITH CHALLENGE LAST TIME AROUND, KAY?!”
His cheeks turned a rosy red, spit flying out of his ‘beautiful’ lips as he fixed his eyes on the camera.
“MY PEOPLE…”
He huffed.
“MY PEOPLE OF HOLLYWOOD AKA MACREARVILLE BOOED… ME! THEY BOOED ME WHEN I’VE BEEN PROUDLY REPRESENTING HOLLYWOOD WAY BEFORE ANYONE ELSE DID! I PUT HOLLYWOOD ON THE MAP AFTER YOU NASTIES AND ILLEGAL ALIENS TURNED THE PLACE INTO GARBAGE! THE BEAUTIFUL BLONDE LOCKS OF HAIR THAT WAS HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA IS NOW NOTHING BUT A GREASY, LICE INFESTED GINGER!”
You could see that this was something that bothered the Sultan of Selfies. He couldn’t even continue at first, taking a moment to gather himself before he spoke again.
“SO YOU KNOW WHAT?! I’M DONE REPRESENTING HOLLYWOOD. I’LL LET CREATURES LIKE EMILY AND TOM CRUISE CLAIM THIS CESSPOOL BECAUSE THAT’S OBVIOUSLY WHAT YOU PEOPLE WANT! YOU SEE, DESPITE WHAT ALL OF YOU SAY ABOUT ME, I’VE ALWAYS BEEN A MAN OF THE PEOPLE! YOU WANTED NEST TO BREAK THE ONE YEAR MARK AS APEX CHAMPION, I DECIDED TO LET HIM ALL THE TITLE MATCHES WE HAD! YOU NASTIES WANTED JENSEN BANKS TO BECOME OLD NORTH CHAMPION, AND I DECIDED TO LEAVE HIM ALONE BECAUSE FABIO KNOWS HE DIDN’T WANT PROBLEMS WITH MACDADDY AGAIN!”
The arrogant Prince puckered up his lips as be slid his hand across his forehead to wipe away any sweat.
“BUT THAT’S NOT EVEN THE WORST THING! AS I SAT MY LUSCIOUS MACREAR ON MY BREATHTAKING LA-Z-BOY RECLINER, I FOUND OUT THAT MY SECOND MATCH IN 3GW WAS GOING TO BE AGAINST SOMEONE I’VE ALREADY BEAT! SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T DESERVE TO SHARE THE SAME RING WITH ME MUCH LIKE ALL OF THEE LDFC ALUM LAST SHOW!"
He smirked, his hand now underneath his chin.
“BUT I BEAT THEM ALL, PEACHES! I BEAT THEM ALL BY MY BEAUTIFUL SELF AND IT’S BECAUSE I’M THAT MUCH BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU! I BEAT MY PARTNERS TOO! IN LDFC, I WAS THE VETERAN IN THE LOCKER ROOM! THE ONE WITH THE MOST EXPERIENCE WHO WAS THERE TO GIVE PEOPLE A SHOW AND MAKE THOSE FUTURE FGA STARS BETTER THAN WHAT THEY COULD MAKE THEMSELVES! I BROUGHT THE BEST OUT OF NEST! I BROUGHT THE BEST OUT OF JENSEN BANKS! I BROUGHT THE BEST OUT OF EVERYONE WHO SHARED A RING WITH ME, AND NOW -- seems they want me to do the same thing with you, Peaches.”
His tone went all the way down, no longer yelling as he stepped toward the camera.
“But how can I make someone better if that someone isn’t even DECENT? How am I expected to make GOLD out of MANURE? I’m capable of many things, but not even the last descendant of Fabio could turn a NASTY MOTH into an ELEGANT BUTTERFLY! You will always be a moth, Peaches. A HIDEOUS MOTH WHO BLINDLY FLIES INTO LIGHT IN SEARCH FOR SAFETY, BUT INSTEAD, YOU FLY RIGHT INTO DISASTER!”
He stopped, pointing at his own face with his left hand.
“That light that you’re flying into this time? That’s me. And just like the last time we got in the ring, it ends with DISASTER for YOU! I AM THE STAR OF THIS BRAND, PEACHES! I AM THE ONLY FREAKING PERSON IN 3GW WITH A DAY NAMED AFTER HIM ANNNND A SOON TO BE DEBUTING TALK SHOW SEGMENT! I’M THE ONE WHO PUTS MACREAR’S IN SEATS AND BODIES AT THE SPA!”
He grinned, a strand of hair falling over his right eye.
“AND I WON’T HOLD MYSELF BACK THIS TIME, PEACHES! I WILL NOT WATCH PEOPLE I BEAT REGULARLY BECOME CHAMPION BEFORE ME! I’VE SEEN IT ENOUGH IN LDFC AND I WON’T LET THAT HAPPEN HERE, PEACHES!!!!!!!! AND IF THAT MEANS TAKING EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU LDFC ALUMS OUT OF COMMISION?”
He took another small step forward, the grin still on his face.
“Then so be it...”
With that, he reached his hand forward and turned the camera off. The visual became a black screen with one line of text that simply read:
“This has been a TOO PRETTY PRESENTATION, NASTIES.”
“This has to be thee WORST week of my life!!!”
This was something we were all used to hearing MacRear say. He was a boy who was waaaay too overdramatic, and someone who thought the worst of things even over something miniscule.
“Can you NASTIES BLAME ME FOR BEING THE WAY I AM?! HUH?! CAN YOU?! YOU CAN’T BECAUSE ALL OF MY PROBLEMS ARE LEGITIMATE, MMMMKAY? LET US START WITH CHALLENGE LAST TIME AROUND, KAY?!”
His cheeks turned a rosy red, spit flying out of his ‘beautiful’ lips as he fixed his eyes on the camera.
“MY PEOPLE…”
He huffed.
“MY PEOPLE OF HOLLYWOOD AKA MACREARVILLE BOOED… ME! THEY BOOED ME WHEN I’VE BEEN PROUDLY REPRESENTING HOLLYWOOD WAY BEFORE ANYONE ELSE DID! I PUT HOLLYWOOD ON THE MAP AFTER YOU NASTIES AND ILLEGAL ALIENS TURNED THE PLACE INTO GARBAGE! THE BEAUTIFUL BLONDE LOCKS OF HAIR THAT WAS HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA IS NOW NOTHING BUT A GREASY, LICE INFESTED GINGER!”
You could see that this was something that bothered the Sultan of Selfies. He couldn’t even continue at first, taking a moment to gather himself before he spoke again.
“SO YOU KNOW WHAT?! I’M DONE REPRESENTING HOLLYWOOD. I’LL LET CREATURES LIKE EMILY AND TOM CRUISE CLAIM THIS CESSPOOL BECAUSE THAT’S OBVIOUSLY WHAT YOU PEOPLE WANT! YOU SEE, DESPITE WHAT ALL OF YOU SAY ABOUT ME, I’VE ALWAYS BEEN A MAN OF THE PEOPLE! YOU WANTED NEST TO BREAK THE ONE YEAR MARK AS APEX CHAMPION, I DECIDED TO LET HIM ALL THE TITLE MATCHES WE HAD! YOU NASTIES WANTED JENSEN BANKS TO BECOME OLD NORTH CHAMPION, AND I DECIDED TO LEAVE HIM ALONE BECAUSE FABIO KNOWS HE DIDN’T WANT PROBLEMS WITH MACDADDY AGAIN!”
The arrogant Prince puckered up his lips as be slid his hand across his forehead to wipe away any sweat.
“BUT THAT’S NOT EVEN THE WORST THING! AS I SAT MY LUSCIOUS MACREAR ON MY BREATHTAKING LA-Z-BOY RECLINER, I FOUND OUT THAT MY SECOND MATCH IN 3GW WAS GOING TO BE AGAINST SOMEONE I’VE ALREADY BEAT! SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T DESERVE TO SHARE THE SAME RING WITH ME MUCH LIKE ALL OF THEE LDFC ALUM LAST SHOW!"
He smirked, his hand now underneath his chin.
“BUT I BEAT THEM ALL, PEACHES! I BEAT THEM ALL BY MY BEAUTIFUL SELF AND IT’S BECAUSE I’M THAT MUCH BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU! I BEAT MY PARTNERS TOO! IN LDFC, I WAS THE VETERAN IN THE LOCKER ROOM! THE ONE WITH THE MOST EXPERIENCE WHO WAS THERE TO GIVE PEOPLE A SHOW AND MAKE THOSE FUTURE FGA STARS BETTER THAN WHAT THEY COULD MAKE THEMSELVES! I BROUGHT THE BEST OUT OF NEST! I BROUGHT THE BEST OUT OF JENSEN BANKS! I BROUGHT THE BEST OUT OF EVERYONE WHO SHARED A RING WITH ME, AND NOW -- seems they want me to do the same thing with you, Peaches.”
His tone went all the way down, no longer yelling as he stepped toward the camera.
“But how can I make someone better if that someone isn’t even DECENT? How am I expected to make GOLD out of MANURE? I’m capable of many things, but not even the last descendant of Fabio could turn a NASTY MOTH into an ELEGANT BUTTERFLY! You will always be a moth, Peaches. A HIDEOUS MOTH WHO BLINDLY FLIES INTO LIGHT IN SEARCH FOR SAFETY, BUT INSTEAD, YOU FLY RIGHT INTO DISASTER!”
He stopped, pointing at his own face with his left hand.
“That light that you’re flying into this time? That’s me. And just like the last time we got in the ring, it ends with DISASTER for YOU! I AM THE STAR OF THIS BRAND, PEACHES! I AM THE ONLY FREAKING PERSON IN 3GW WITH A DAY NAMED AFTER HIM ANNNND A SOON TO BE DEBUTING TALK SHOW SEGMENT! I’M THE ONE WHO PUTS MACREAR’S IN SEATS AND BODIES AT THE SPA!”
He grinned, a strand of hair falling over his right eye.
“AND I WON’T HOLD MYSELF BACK THIS TIME, PEACHES! I WILL NOT WATCH PEOPLE I BEAT REGULARLY BECOME CHAMPION BEFORE ME! I’VE SEEN IT ENOUGH IN LDFC AND I WON’T LET THAT HAPPEN HERE, PEACHES!!!!!!!! AND IF THAT MEANS TAKING EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU LDFC ALUMS OUT OF COMMISION?”
He took another small step forward, the grin still on his face.
“Then so be it...”
With that, he reached his hand forward and turned the camera off. The visual became a black screen with one line of text that simply read:
“This has been a TOO PRETTY PRESENTATION, NASTIES.”
