Remember
Sept 2, 2016 15:41:43 GMT -5
Post by Perello on Sept 2, 2016 15:41:43 GMT -5
Sometimes we just need someone to listen...
[OFF CAM]
“Okaaaaay…”
Months had passed since Cindy Parker retired from professional wrestling, and the urge to get back in the ring never went away. Cindy always found herself keeping a close eye on the happenings in FGA, firmly believing that if she hadn’t retired, she’d be the one main eventing FGA pay per views. She’d be the one who was FGA World champion. She’d be the one that shut Zero McHannon up once and for all!
… but that wasn’t the way it happened.
Not at all.
“It’s basically… well, I feel like they replaced me without even like… caring, you know? It was just ‘okay, Cyn! Heck of a run! Oh, what’s this?! FUJIKO, RUBY, AND ALL THESE OTHER CHICAS IN FGA ARE ON THE RISE?! WHO THE HECK IS CYNCITY AGAIN?! It’s just soooo stinkin’ demoralizing, and this only happens with me!”
Cyn found herself lying down on a couch, her eyes fixed on the milk colored ceiling above her head. You could easily tell that the lack of appreciation from FGA and the talents in the company hurt her, mainly because whenever someone else left or got hurt, everyone and their mothers would bring it up whenever they had the chance.
Chandler gets hurt… the Twitter world doesn’t shut up about it.
Dom gets suspended… it’s the end of the world!
Cordy gets hurt… everyone asks when she’s coming back even if the injury happened the day before.
Sean Sands retires… everyone wants to hug him on his way out.
Cyncity get hurt… nada.
Cyncity retires… even less.
“I don’t know. I guess I just expected a little more love from the peoples there. I’ve always been a little insecure with like… everything! So this might be all in my head, but it’s just sooo weird how everyone’s always saying how I’m one of their favorites and how everyone loves me, and it never ever felt that way. The main reason why I was so determined to win the FGA World championship was so this kinda stuff didn’t happen, and it still did! It got worse actually! It’s like me winning that title after years of busting my butt didn’t matter because Zero lied!”
Cyn finally pulled her gaze away from the ceiling and turned her head to the right. She stared at an older gentlemen wearing big framed glasses, a sweatervest, and Dickies that still had the K-Mart tag on them.
“That’s only a part of the reason that I retired. I honestly never felt appreciated in FGA by anyone, and I figured that wasn’t gonna change ever. Like… I think people are mad that I became the first female to hold the World title. I think the whole world wanted it to be someone else, but it wasn’t. It was me, and I deserve at least a tiny little bit of respect for it!”
The frustration was starting to build up, tears forming in Cyncity’s eyes. She quickled wiped them away, let out a sigh, and continued.
“There’s so many other reasons that I retired, Doc. But that’s the one I haven’t told anyone yet. I just felt unappreciated allllll the times. All the freaking times! In FGA, in PDW, everywhere! Even when I was co-GM with Zero in HKW it was always Zero this, Zero that…”
Another sigh escaped her lips.
“Am I like a ghost or something? Because I has plenty of personality, but what the heck, man!? Can I get a little love sometimes!? Sheeeeesh! And now I sound jealous of everyone else but I’m really not! I’m happy all of those peoples are successful, but the freakin’ fact of the matter is --- I did something no other woman was able to do in FGA, and it gets wiped under the rug! It’s like it never happened!”
She immediately covered her face with her hands just in case she couldn’t stop her tears. She sniffled a bit as the doctor crossed his legs and leaned back in his own chair.
“Sounds like you made the right decision, Cindy. At least what you felt was the right decision at the time.”
“Maybe…” she replied, pulling her hands away from her face, “... but now? I regret it. I’m not ready to retire yet. I was just starting to hit my prime for Pete’s sake! Why would I decide to retire right when I was at my very best?!”
“Pressure…” the doctor replied, “... you couldn’t take the pressure anymore. That’s nothing to be ashamed of, Cindy. You were going through one of the hardest times of your life back then. Your father's passing, your cousin was driving you insane, and your place of employment?” he shrugged his shoulders. “Well, it doesn’t sound like they made things easier for you.”
Cindy let out a grunt as she spun herself around and placed her feet down on the floor. She looked her psychiatrist right in the eyes when she asked, “So what do I do now?”
“Do you miss wrestling?”
“Yaaaaaaaas!” she replied without any hesitation.
“Do you miss Frontier Grappling Arts?”
“It’s the Arts of Frontier Grappling, but yaaaaaaaaaaas!”
“Do you think you can take feeling unappreciated again?”
“Yaaaaaaaaa --- wait!” Cyn scrunched her face, shooting the doctor a scowl, “Is that a trick question?”
“No. A simple Yaaaaaaaas! or no will do.”
She didn’t answer the question immediately, thinking it over and over again before she spoke back up.
“Probably not. I mean, I can probably brush it off, but… I don’t wanna put in work if it’s gonna get poopoo’d on, ya know? I want to go back to wrestling, yes. But I want to go somewhere where I don’t feel like the black sheep even if I’ve been there longer than half the roster. I don’t wanna be pushed to the side by my peers because I’m not big on the Twitter thing. I don’t wanna be forgotten because I rather spend my free time with my son instead of partying all the time.”
The doctor smirked, checking the time on his watch before he replied. “From the sounds of it, it seems like you already have an idea of what you wanna do.”
“Kinda…” she replied, standing up from the coach she was sitting on you stretch her legs out, “But then I’d feel like a traitor!” she plopped back down.
“How so?”
“Because the only other wrestling place I’d sign with is HKW, but I’ve pretty much been #TeamFGAProud for a very very long time now.” her face went blank, “What if they get salty that I signed somewhere else and I get fired from my brand ambassador job?! I like doing that too much to get fired!”
The doctor couldn’t help but laugh at Cindy’s constant paranoia. He stood up out of his seat, reached his hands forward, and squeezed down against Cyn’s shoulder.
“Cindy… it’s time.”
#TheMotto
“Time for what?” she inquired.
“Time for you to do what makes you happy…” he released his grip on Cyn’s shoulders, “...and for the first time in your life, it’s time for you to stop caring about what others think. Do what Cindy Parker wants to do.”
Those words hit Cindy hard. Deep down, she knew that her entire adult life was based around what people wanted. Whenever she started to break free, she reverted right back to doing the things that were expected of her.
She couldn’t live like that.
Not anymore.
“You’re right. You’re absolutely right!”
She didn’t say anything else, standing right up only to give her psychiatrist a big hug. She grabbed her purse off the chair she set it on, and walked toward the office door.
“Same time next week?” Cyn asked.
“Same time. I would like to hear about something good next time, Cindy. Remember… make Cindy happy again.”
Cindy nodded her head and pulled open her psychiatrists door to make her exit, the doc’s words embedded in her mind.
--------------------------------------
Where the heck do I even begin?
I’ve been asking myself that same question ever since the match between Zero and I got announced for First Wave - and I still has nothing! You would think that after all these months I’d have a script written in my head with all the things I've wanted to say, but I don’t. I still don’t know WHAT to say!
What I do know is that for six months now people have been doing nothing but trying to belittle Zero whenever they’re set to fight him, or whenever he goes off one of his regular rants. They shame him for his beard, his personal dilemmas, his cheap looking tattoos, and pretty much everything else they could think of.
.But me? I’m not going to do that.
Sometimes I feel like I’m the only person of FGA’s past or present who remembers all the good Zero used to do. Heck, I’m probably one of the only five people left in this world who believes that the good Zero is still buried deep inside the man we see today, and I’m gonna keep trying to bring him out no matter what I has to do!
Think about it. Would it really be smart for me to run Zero down like so many have done before when my goal isn’t the same as theirs?
Nooooperz!
All of you FGAers? You want Zero’s spot. You want his title so you’ll say whatever you can to make him think that you're better than him. That you're going to beat him.
Me?
I just want my friend back.
Part of me feels like we’re the reason why Zero became the heartless butthead that he is now. He came to FGA all smiles, unicorns and sparkly rainbows, but having people constantly talk smack about everything he’s done drove him to the edge - then right off of it.
He came back wanting to start anew, but everyone who’s anybody felt the need to remind him of his past. His mess-ups, his need to walk away once in awhile -- everything you could shame Zero for, we did. Heck, even I did! I’m part of the reason why the guy who was like the brother I never had became a walking talking drunk zombie!
And I hate it. I absolutely hate it.
I’d be lying if I said that Zero didn’t deserve half of what he got, but a lot of it was totally unnecessary. He was crying out for help, and every single one of us turned around and went on with our lives. We didn’t care what was going on with Zero because most of us thought ‘he’s tough. He’ll get through it’ -- but he needed help... and he never got any.
That could break even the strongest person..
The feeling of having no one there when you need them the most is by far the worst thing you could ever experience, and that’s the feeling Zero walks around with every day of his life.
Sooooo! Instead of cutting what the boys in the back call a promo, this is going to be me talking to someone who’s my friend. Someone I care about. Someone who I can’t watch destroy themselves anymore.
Zero… I don’t hate you. I never hated you. I was mad at you, and I’m still mad at you, but I’m not going to just block out all the good things that you’ve done since I’ve met you. You’ve saved people from beatings in FGA and everywhere else you’ve worked. You've helped guide a bunch of the young'n's from our GM days in HKW, and now some of them are recognized as the best in the business!
No one ever wants to talk about that though, do they, Zero?
Nope.
Everyone just has to remind you of your faults and your fudge ups...but not me.
Not anymore.
If hearing all the bad things turned you into who you are now, maybe you just need to hear the good things to come back to normal? Maybe the world needs to know that it was Zero McHannon who saved Gambino’s life in PDW when he pushed Gambino out of the way and took a bat shot to the head?
Maybe the people need to hear about Zero McHannon being the first person there when Brandon Banks was lying half dead on a hospital bed after he got into a car accident?
Maybe people need to hear that there’s not a single freaking thing Zero McHannon wouldn’t do for his goddaughter Claire! Even now, in his own twisted way, everything he’s been doing in the wrestling world is somehow for Claire.
I don’t know. Maybe he’s showing her to fight for what you believe in or something, but everything that man does is for that little girl and you can’t poopoo on him for that. Zero, regardless of what he wants to tell people right now, has one of the biggest hearts in the world. For years he’s buried his demons deep inside - not letting anyone in, and that big heart?
It turned black.
… but I’m going to fix it, Zero. I’m going to cure you with kindness! Like after I beat you at First Wave, I’m going help you back to your feet, hand you your title, and raise YOUR arm high in the air!
Why?
Because I already know we’re going to have the match of the night, and I wouldn’t have been able to do it without you!
After that, I’m going to walk my merry butt backstage, talk to one of the interviewers, and you wanna know what I’m gonna say?
Boy, that Zero McHannon! I tell ya! Boy can go! Boy has a claim at the best in the World title! And I’m going to talk you up like I’m your mommie at your first recital because that’s what you need, Zero!
Everyone else? They can keep trying to break you.
Me?
I’m going to fix you.
Byeeeeeeeeeee!
I’ve been asking myself that same question ever since the match between Zero and I got announced for First Wave - and I still has nothing! You would think that after all these months I’d have a script written in my head with all the things I've wanted to say, but I don’t. I still don’t know WHAT to say!
What I do know is that for six months now people have been doing nothing but trying to belittle Zero whenever they’re set to fight him, or whenever he goes off one of his regular rants. They shame him for his beard, his personal dilemmas, his cheap looking tattoos, and pretty much everything else they could think of.
.But me? I’m not going to do that.
Sometimes I feel like I’m the only person of FGA’s past or present who remembers all the good Zero used to do. Heck, I’m probably one of the only five people left in this world who believes that the good Zero is still buried deep inside the man we see today, and I’m gonna keep trying to bring him out no matter what I has to do!
Think about it. Would it really be smart for me to run Zero down like so many have done before when my goal isn’t the same as theirs?
Nooooperz!
All of you FGAers? You want Zero’s spot. You want his title so you’ll say whatever you can to make him think that you're better than him. That you're going to beat him.
Me?
I just want my friend back.
Part of me feels like we’re the reason why Zero became the heartless butthead that he is now. He came to FGA all smiles, unicorns and sparkly rainbows, but having people constantly talk smack about everything he’s done drove him to the edge - then right off of it.
He came back wanting to start anew, but everyone who’s anybody felt the need to remind him of his past. His mess-ups, his need to walk away once in awhile -- everything you could shame Zero for, we did. Heck, even I did! I’m part of the reason why the guy who was like the brother I never had became a walking talking drunk zombie!
And I hate it. I absolutely hate it.
I’d be lying if I said that Zero didn’t deserve half of what he got, but a lot of it was totally unnecessary. He was crying out for help, and every single one of us turned around and went on with our lives. We didn’t care what was going on with Zero because most of us thought ‘he’s tough. He’ll get through it’ -- but he needed help... and he never got any.
That could break even the strongest person..
The feeling of having no one there when you need them the most is by far the worst thing you could ever experience, and that’s the feeling Zero walks around with every day of his life.
Sooooo! Instead of cutting what the boys in the back call a promo, this is going to be me talking to someone who’s my friend. Someone I care about. Someone who I can’t watch destroy themselves anymore.
Zero… I don’t hate you. I never hated you. I was mad at you, and I’m still mad at you, but I’m not going to just block out all the good things that you’ve done since I’ve met you. You’ve saved people from beatings in FGA and everywhere else you’ve worked. You've helped guide a bunch of the young'n's from our GM days in HKW, and now some of them are recognized as the best in the business!
No one ever wants to talk about that though, do they, Zero?
Nope.
Everyone just has to remind you of your faults and your fudge ups...but not me.
Not anymore.
If hearing all the bad things turned you into who you are now, maybe you just need to hear the good things to come back to normal? Maybe the world needs to know that it was Zero McHannon who saved Gambino’s life in PDW when he pushed Gambino out of the way and took a bat shot to the head?
Maybe the people need to hear about Zero McHannon being the first person there when Brandon Banks was lying half dead on a hospital bed after he got into a car accident?
Maybe people need to hear that there’s not a single freaking thing Zero McHannon wouldn’t do for his goddaughter Claire! Even now, in his own twisted way, everything he’s been doing in the wrestling world is somehow for Claire.
I don’t know. Maybe he’s showing her to fight for what you believe in or something, but everything that man does is for that little girl and you can’t poopoo on him for that. Zero, regardless of what he wants to tell people right now, has one of the biggest hearts in the world. For years he’s buried his demons deep inside - not letting anyone in, and that big heart?
It turned black.
… but I’m going to fix it, Zero. I’m going to cure you with kindness! Like after I beat you at First Wave, I’m going help you back to your feet, hand you your title, and raise YOUR arm high in the air!
Why?
Because I already know we’re going to have the match of the night, and I wouldn’t have been able to do it without you!
After that, I’m going to walk my merry butt backstage, talk to one of the interviewers, and you wanna know what I’m gonna say?
Boy, that Zero McHannon! I tell ya! Boy can go! Boy has a claim at the best in the World title! And I’m going to talk you up like I’m your mommie at your first recital because that’s what you need, Zero!
Everyone else? They can keep trying to break you.
Me?
I’m going to fix you.
Byeeeeeeeeeee!
