I know it's my destiny
Aug 4, 2016 17:52:51 GMT -5
Post by Johnny Karma on Aug 4, 2016 17:52:51 GMT -5
23rd July 2016, Tucson AZ
As the fans that have packed into the Tucson Convention Center are enjoying the edition of Vertigo that is taking place before their eyes, Cherry Baum is not a million miles away from the in-ring action as she is fixated on her phone’s screen and is marching towards the curtains that separate the backstage area from the arena itself – but just before she can blindly walk into the arena, Johnny Karma rushes over to prevent her making an unadvertised appearance at the show
Whoa there, Miss Baum, you were about to interrupt somebody’s match!
But my incense runs out in a couple of minutes, and I’ve just found a Düsh, a Düshbheg and a Düshnersl are all in this arena, and I don’t have any of those in my Pokedex.
The look on Karma’s face is the expression of a man who has listened to what the other person has said and, while they know some of the individual words of that sentence, what that person has actually said makes as much sense as playing Pictionary with Salvador Dali and Pablo Picasso – but he can at least work out a possible reason why…
Pokemon GO again?
Well…yeah, but these three are totally rare, and I have to choose whether I get the basic form, the first evolution or the final evolution. Oh, wait a second…
Cherry quickly checks her inventory to see how many Razz Berries and Great Balls she has available
Where are these…things anyway?
Cherry points towards the curtains, or to be more accurate she implies just through the curtains, so Karma decides to peek through the curtains to see what she’s talking about – and almost immediately he turns back towards Cherry while making the sound of a man who understands a situation a whole lot more than he did before the conversation started
I’m afraid to tell you that it probably isn’t a good idea to walk out there to aim your phone at whatever bashefenish you want to slap in the face with your balls, because I don’t think Ricky Valero or Luke Jackson will appreciate it if you stand on the ramp pointing your phone at whichever vist fun plats you want to add to your collection.
But J-K!!!
Besides, you know the rules for making an unannounced appearance during somebody else’s match: you have to tell the guy who cues the music which match you’ll be interfering in and give him an approximate time for when you want to get involved so he can cue your theme music to distract whoever it is in the ring you want distracted – although for some reason it never distracts both people in the ring, which you’d think would make more sense…
Cherry glances down at her phone, watching the timer on her incense tick down to zero, as she grumbles
Anyway, right now the most important thing is to focus on finding for a few chinks in the armour of certain people…
Karma gestures in the direction of the curtain, implying what’s through the curtain and inside the arena itself – implying one side of the New Kings vs Next Level match, and it’s obvious to anyone with the most basic intelligence he’s not referring to Valero nor Jackson
…whose armour needs to be proven to be little more than The Emperor’s New Tighty Whities, so when their match is done and I’ve made a few notes we can head out into Tucson and catch a Totoro or two, okay?
Karma turns to peek through the curtain once more, watching the match for a few seconds as he focuses on…something, so focused in fact he doesn’t even notice Cherry’s response of…
Totoro isn’t a Pokemon!
...as there's obviously something he sees that has piqued his interest, and he's making sure he's remembering it
9th July 2016, Amarillo TX
As he wanders backstage in the immediate aftermath of his match against Danny Diamond, for a brief moment it seems that Johnny Karma is the one who is Dazed, Confused, and All Messed Up as he catches his breath as he appears to be sweating out at least 12% of his body weight as he tries to shake some feeling back into his arm, having laid in some of his strikes with a little more stank than he usually would for…obvious reasons
When he makes it back to his locker room, Karma slumps onto a bench and grabs a bottle of water, taking a swig out of it before dumping the contents over his head to create a large puddle on the locker room floor around his feet, before he drinks the rest of the bottle’s contents and grabs a towel to mop the sweat and water from his face
So how does it feel J-K?
As hot and dry as a sauna made out of sandpaper.
No, not the…forget about how this arena is only a few degrees away from being the perfect place to make pulled pork on an industrial scale, as hard as that would seem, think about how it feels to finally get a member of the New Kings in the ring, all on their own, and to finally get some of that frustration out of your system and inflict a long-overdue defeat upon them. Doesn’t that feel great?
As he thinks about the question, Karma grabs another towel and drapes it around his neck, desperately trying to soak up the sweat that’s pouring from his body and doesn’t seem to be stopping. After grabbing another bottle of water and taking a long swig from it, Karma lets out a refreshing gasp
Given everything I’ve been through, it feels good – not because I won, as satisfying as that is, but because I kept my head and stuck to my strategy to put Diamond down, when I could’ve just as easily thrown the plan out the window and thrown hands and little more because I wanted to hurt the little shprits and left myself open for who knows what, and “who knows what” could’ve quite easily cost me a place in the Frontier Lions Cup for the second straight year.
…the thing is, is it really right for me to be leaping around with joy and spraying champagne around as if I won something?
I don’t quite follow J-K.
Here’s the thing: it feels good to get my hands on one of them in a one-on-one situation and relieve some of that pent-up tsorn, and it really does feel good, but a war’s a war and this was just a battle – a battle I won, sure, but the first battle doesn’t win the war.
It’s not the first battle, though, it’s the second. You already won the war against Carmine, not just taking the Pride Championship from him but keeping it around your waist when he called in his rematch clause.
The wry nod Karma gives tells Cherry she’s right
I did, that’s true, but this war isn’t against one person but an axis of weasels. I may have got big wins over Carmine, but Cannon and Diamond were there to jump me. I may have gotten the win over Diamond tonight, but Cannon’s still a long way in the distance with the FWA Championship around his waist. They could push me from three directions, although now it’s just two, but I can only push back in one. The point is to push back harder, and that’s what I did tonight – I got myself a little breathing room, just for a show or two, but it’s best to have a show or two’s peace and quiet than nothing at all.
Looking at the bigger picture, though, rather than say “one down, x many to go” instead this win serves as a marker: Cannon knows his lieutenant can’t protect him as he’s out of play, and since Quinn Goodrich isn’t in the tournament that’s a whole lot of insurance that just got voided as the New Kings just got removed from the FLC in one night, and I was the guy to do it. If there’s an ounce of common sense rattling around in Cannon’s head, he’s going to know that after giving me so much incentive to get back at him and his friends, I have something else pushing me forward: momentum. All I need to do now is to take that momentum and pull myself forward, as there’s plenty of matches between me and getting my hands on Cannon, and getting my hands on Cannon means getting my hands on the FWA Championship.
With all that in mind, this one win may feel good in the short term, but I’m thinking about feeling good long-term – so that’s where turning this tournament into the arena where I take that final step and win it all needs to become a reality. All I have to do is make that happen. So no pressure…
With another wry look on his face, Karma takes another long swig of water before he decides it might be an idea to take a shower
Now…
KARMIC TV
More valuable than Mr. Mime
The second we reach the maximum amount of Bowie that Fair Use regulations allow we cut to the Karmic TV studio where we are met, as always, but a warm and friendly welcome from Cherry Baum and a cool and collected acknowledgment of our existence from Karma
Hi guys, welcome back to another episode of Karmic TV, the show where we ask the questions that other shows are too afraid to ask. For example, today’s question is…could the jackass that barged into me in Prospect Park and caused me to miss out on a Blastoise please go and boil their own head?
Sensing the hostility in Cherry’s voice, or maybe finding himself getting increasingly worried by her Pokemon GO habits, Karma quietly scooches a little further down the sofa from her
naturally, we can’t start this show without recapping the good news, namely how J-K both qualified for the 2016 Frontier Lions Cup, and how he did it at the expense of Johnny Cannon’s hired help and occasional contributor to the New Kings, Danny Diamond. Considering all that this group has put you through in recent weeks, months even, I am sure it felt good to give back some of what they have dished out?
I’d say so, because what I did is remind Diamond of a simple fact he seems to have forgotten: just because you call yourself a member of the New Kings, that doesn’t mean you’re invincible. In fact, Diamond found out how vincible he really is when he doesn’t have Cannon and Carmine doing the dirty work so Diamond can get his licks in when he’s worked up the courage.
He must have known, I mean he seriously could’ve guessed, that I had all the incentive in the world headed into that match: I had a chance to get some long-overdue payback on the New Kings, a spot in the Frontier Lions Cup was just waiting for me at the end of the match, and the FLC itself takes me on a collision course with that other member of the New Kings who is in dire need of being taken down so many pegs that he’ll lose count before he’s even halfway through his fall. And if he didn’t know, Cannon should’ve told him that it was his job, as his only insurance policy in the tournament, to be a roadblock to as many members of the FWA roster as possible just so Cannon could cling onto the FWA Championship a little longer. Instead I put Diamond down, and with one King down there’s just one to go – and to get there there’s just three matches between me and Cannon.
Yeah, “just” three matches…
The look on Karma’s face indicates he knows he’s underselling the notion of winning the Frontier Lions Cup just a little
…obviously it’s not going to be easy, unless a case of Zika virus goes around the locker room – but since no member of the FWA roster is headed to Rio, that means they don’t have any reason to pretend they’re not going because of the virus as opposed to, oh I don’t know, a more lucrative competition taking place at the same time – right, golfers?
Karma does the international mime for money, strongly implying that he believes golfers are only in it for the money and the awful, awful menswear
Right now, though, the FLC isn’t what’s in my immediate future, as instead I am facing the person responsible for Johnny Cannon getting his paws on the FWA Championship, namely the ex-champion Zero McHannon…so, yup, now you’re hearing from me Zero, as a man speaks when he has to…which would make you…?
Giving a quick shrug, Karma opens up the floor for suggestions as to the best denomination with which to describe McHannon
I don’t suggest you get uppity with me about that description, either, because there’s something else a man knows all too well: the second you lay the back of your hand on a woman, you stop being a man and become something…less.
Yeah, yeah, I’m sure you might want to think of suggesting some loophole to try and avoid taking responsibility and throw shade on me, like saying that it was a few weeks ago when I was laying the back of my hand on Fujiko Mine a couple of dozen times, but if you think that’s going to wash, let alone absolve you of what you did, not only does it make it look like you’ve been spending too much time over in Hard Knox taking ethics lessons from that mealy-mouthed bolvan Elijah Black, but your name is more deserving than you first thought. To hear you talking about “settling” for second best made me sick to the stomach, because you have no idea where second best even is let alone what it is because, while I’ve been quick to call a good half dozen members of the roster out for being the lowest of the low, only you went so low.
A palpable sense of rage starts to build in Karma’s voice, as he gets more and more focused upon the subject of McHannon
And to see you stand in the ring, in my ring, the ring that so many others call home on every single show, and say how much you love the company only to do everything but unzip your fly and write your name on the canvas the moment the crowd saw through your tissue of lies because they had the nerve, the sheer nerve to not kneel down before you and say “Yes, Mr McHannon, share your wisdom with us” because they’re not as dumb as you stood there and tried to tell them they are…to see you destroy the thing that defines me and so many others, all because you can’t handle a couple of home truths about yourself…
As the rage builds, Karma finds himself fumbling for words, unable to vocalise all the things going through his head at this second because he cannot find a way to vocalise grabbing McHannon by the lapels and shoving him back-first into a brick wall
…congratulations, McHannon, you’re the first person in FWA history to actually render me speechless. I hope you’re proud.
Letting out a deep sigh, mixed in with a grunt of irritation, Karma attempts to collect his thoughts for a moment
I bet you’re probably hoping that people felt sorry for you when Carmine came back from the dead and helped Cannon and Diamond beat you like the dog that you are, too? But why should anyone feel sorry for you? Not only are you undeserving of sympathy, but the fact is you were dumb enough to walk into a set-up and think you’d walk out without a scratch on you because…what, you held the FWA Championship a few weeks ago? You had a decent showing in last year’s Gold Rush Rumble? If I wanted to hear some non sequiturs that took five years off my life due to the number of braincells they killed per second, I’d attend a Trump rally. That’s the level of moron you displayed, Zero, and there’s times where it’s good to see somebody pay for their own stupidity. In fact, I should send a clip of the beatdown you took to the Darwin Awards, they’d probably give you an honourable mention when they hand out this year’s trophies.
So here’s what it comes down to, McHannon: I have to beat you – and I have to beat you so I can sleep at night, because I’ll know that I had the chance to stand in front of you and make it all stop. All the self-important rationalising you do to try and make yourself feel better about the things you’ve done, stopped. The feeling you can throw your weight around because of who you are, stopped. This belief you have in your head that you can just keep running your mouth about whoever you feel like just because you haven’t sent a tweet for five seconds that is nothing more than Chinese water torture for anyone with a soul to read, stopped. That sense of entitlement you have over the FWA Champtionship and how you are the only person who has the right to go against the New Kings and take the belts from Johnny Cannon…stopped.
You don’t have the right to think the New Kings have wronged you, because where were you when I was getting beaten on time and time again? That’s right, you were sat in your ivory tower thinking that it didn’t concern you, that you were above all this, and you only paid attention the moment they were knocking on your door. That’s how stupid you are, McHannon, because you didn’t think it was worth the effort to look beyond your own short-term, self-serving interests, and now look where you are. You’re on the outside, you’re outnumbered, and I don’t see anybody willing to put their neck on the line to help you, because you’ve given people plenty of reason to leave you on your own in the face of something you can’t possibly overcome – and that’s the real value of your name and everything you’ve ever done, McHannon, because when it all boils down to it there’s not one finger being raised to do you a favour because nobody thinks you’re worth the effort.
This is why I have to beat you, to show you that there’s a price for your actions and it’ll cost you the one thing you hold dear: the belief that there’s no-one better than you. So what’ll you do when I shatter that illusion? Tear up another ring? Throw some more furniture around? Pathetic.
At this point karma gets up from his sofa, looks directly towards the camera, before he jabs a finger directly towards the lens before repeating the last word with added emphasis…
Pathetic.
…at which point he removes his mic and marches off set, clearly agitated as we can hear Karma continuing to vent as he walks off set
23rd July 2016, Tucson AZ
Once more we catch up with Karma and Cherry at the last Vertigo taping, or to be more accurate shortly afterwards – or to be even more accurate, at about the same time that the New Kings are putting the boots to Zero McHannon, but Karma decided it would be best if he and Cherry left the arena early rather than endure another McHannon diatribe followed by him rearranging the ringside area, so the pair have decamped to a nearby bar in order to have a quick drink before calling it a night
Are you sure nobody had an issue with you checking out of the show early? It’s hardly like you to do something like that.
What are they going to do, have me clear up all the things McHannon threw around in his latest hissy fit? Please…
Karma scoffs at the idea, muttering as he takes a sip from his bottle of craft ale. Once he finishes muttering, he looks towards Cherry – and he sees that her eyes are fixed on a TV screen directly behind him, and he instinctively knows something is not right so he looks over his shoulder to see a returning Tony Carmine join in on the New Kings’ beatdown of McHannon. After watching for a few seconds longer that seems healthy, a note of concern filters into Cherry’s voice
J-K…
Rather than respond in a negative manner to what he is seeing, Karma calmly turns back towards Cherry and places his bottle on the table, tapping the neck with his index finger for a second or two before he finally says what’s on his mind
To be honest with you, I’m not mad.
Cherry shoots Karma a confused look
Seriously, I’m not. On the one hand it was only a matter of time before what McHannon did at the last show caught up with him, and on the other…well I did say I wasn’t accepting Carmine’s apology, all because I trust him about as much as I’d trust a rattlesnake to babysit. So, yeah, having Carmine back in the mix is a problem, no denying that – but right now, those four idiots can destroy each other for the next few weeks, and I’ll just focus on being the guy to step up against whatever’s left so I can consign the lot of them to the trashcan where they belong.
As his almost eerie sense of calm reflection has Cherry slightly perturbed, especially as Karma takes a sip of his beer as Cannon and Carmine put the finishing touches to their beatdown on McHannon - and at that point Cherry's phone alerts her to a nearby Pokemon...yet rather than leap to her feet and hurl Pokeballs left, right and centre, she doesn't even notice her phone as she is more interested in trying to work out where Karma's head is at
As the fans that have packed into the Tucson Convention Center are enjoying the edition of Vertigo that is taking place before their eyes, Cherry Baum is not a million miles away from the in-ring action as she is fixated on her phone’s screen and is marching towards the curtains that separate the backstage area from the arena itself – but just before she can blindly walk into the arena, Johnny Karma rushes over to prevent her making an unadvertised appearance at the show
Whoa there, Miss Baum, you were about to interrupt somebody’s match!
But my incense runs out in a couple of minutes, and I’ve just found a Düsh, a Düshbheg and a Düshnersl are all in this arena, and I don’t have any of those in my Pokedex.
The look on Karma’s face is the expression of a man who has listened to what the other person has said and, while they know some of the individual words of that sentence, what that person has actually said makes as much sense as playing Pictionary with Salvador Dali and Pablo Picasso – but he can at least work out a possible reason why…
Pokemon GO again?
Well…yeah, but these three are totally rare, and I have to choose whether I get the basic form, the first evolution or the final evolution. Oh, wait a second…
Cherry quickly checks her inventory to see how many Razz Berries and Great Balls she has available
Where are these…things anyway?
Cherry points towards the curtains, or to be more accurate she implies just through the curtains, so Karma decides to peek through the curtains to see what she’s talking about – and almost immediately he turns back towards Cherry while making the sound of a man who understands a situation a whole lot more than he did before the conversation started
I’m afraid to tell you that it probably isn’t a good idea to walk out there to aim your phone at whatever bashefenish you want to slap in the face with your balls, because I don’t think Ricky Valero or Luke Jackson will appreciate it if you stand on the ramp pointing your phone at whichever vist fun plats you want to add to your collection.
But J-K!!!
Besides, you know the rules for making an unannounced appearance during somebody else’s match: you have to tell the guy who cues the music which match you’ll be interfering in and give him an approximate time for when you want to get involved so he can cue your theme music to distract whoever it is in the ring you want distracted – although for some reason it never distracts both people in the ring, which you’d think would make more sense…
Cherry glances down at her phone, watching the timer on her incense tick down to zero, as she grumbles
Anyway, right now the most important thing is to focus on finding for a few chinks in the armour of certain people…
Karma gestures in the direction of the curtain, implying what’s through the curtain and inside the arena itself – implying one side of the New Kings vs Next Level match, and it’s obvious to anyone with the most basic intelligence he’s not referring to Valero nor Jackson
…whose armour needs to be proven to be little more than The Emperor’s New Tighty Whities, so when their match is done and I’ve made a few notes we can head out into Tucson and catch a Totoro or two, okay?
Karma turns to peek through the curtain once more, watching the match for a few seconds as he focuses on…something, so focused in fact he doesn’t even notice Cherry’s response of…
Totoro isn’t a Pokemon!
...as there's obviously something he sees that has piqued his interest, and he's making sure he's remembering it
9th July 2016, Amarillo TX
As he wanders backstage in the immediate aftermath of his match against Danny Diamond, for a brief moment it seems that Johnny Karma is the one who is Dazed, Confused, and All Messed Up as he catches his breath as he appears to be sweating out at least 12% of his body weight as he tries to shake some feeling back into his arm, having laid in some of his strikes with a little more stank than he usually would for…obvious reasons
When he makes it back to his locker room, Karma slumps onto a bench and grabs a bottle of water, taking a swig out of it before dumping the contents over his head to create a large puddle on the locker room floor around his feet, before he drinks the rest of the bottle’s contents and grabs a towel to mop the sweat and water from his face
So how does it feel J-K?
As hot and dry as a sauna made out of sandpaper.
No, not the…forget about how this arena is only a few degrees away from being the perfect place to make pulled pork on an industrial scale, as hard as that would seem, think about how it feels to finally get a member of the New Kings in the ring, all on their own, and to finally get some of that frustration out of your system and inflict a long-overdue defeat upon them. Doesn’t that feel great?
As he thinks about the question, Karma grabs another towel and drapes it around his neck, desperately trying to soak up the sweat that’s pouring from his body and doesn’t seem to be stopping. After grabbing another bottle of water and taking a long swig from it, Karma lets out a refreshing gasp
Given everything I’ve been through, it feels good – not because I won, as satisfying as that is, but because I kept my head and stuck to my strategy to put Diamond down, when I could’ve just as easily thrown the plan out the window and thrown hands and little more because I wanted to hurt the little shprits and left myself open for who knows what, and “who knows what” could’ve quite easily cost me a place in the Frontier Lions Cup for the second straight year.
…the thing is, is it really right for me to be leaping around with joy and spraying champagne around as if I won something?
I don’t quite follow J-K.
Here’s the thing: it feels good to get my hands on one of them in a one-on-one situation and relieve some of that pent-up tsorn, and it really does feel good, but a war’s a war and this was just a battle – a battle I won, sure, but the first battle doesn’t win the war.
It’s not the first battle, though, it’s the second. You already won the war against Carmine, not just taking the Pride Championship from him but keeping it around your waist when he called in his rematch clause.
The wry nod Karma gives tells Cherry she’s right
I did, that’s true, but this war isn’t against one person but an axis of weasels. I may have got big wins over Carmine, but Cannon and Diamond were there to jump me. I may have gotten the win over Diamond tonight, but Cannon’s still a long way in the distance with the FWA Championship around his waist. They could push me from three directions, although now it’s just two, but I can only push back in one. The point is to push back harder, and that’s what I did tonight – I got myself a little breathing room, just for a show or two, but it’s best to have a show or two’s peace and quiet than nothing at all.
Looking at the bigger picture, though, rather than say “one down, x many to go” instead this win serves as a marker: Cannon knows his lieutenant can’t protect him as he’s out of play, and since Quinn Goodrich isn’t in the tournament that’s a whole lot of insurance that just got voided as the New Kings just got removed from the FLC in one night, and I was the guy to do it. If there’s an ounce of common sense rattling around in Cannon’s head, he’s going to know that after giving me so much incentive to get back at him and his friends, I have something else pushing me forward: momentum. All I need to do now is to take that momentum and pull myself forward, as there’s plenty of matches between me and getting my hands on Cannon, and getting my hands on Cannon means getting my hands on the FWA Championship.
With all that in mind, this one win may feel good in the short term, but I’m thinking about feeling good long-term – so that’s where turning this tournament into the arena where I take that final step and win it all needs to become a reality. All I have to do is make that happen. So no pressure…
With another wry look on his face, Karma takes another long swig of water before he decides it might be an idea to take a shower
Now…
KARMIC TV
More valuable than Mr. Mime
The second we reach the maximum amount of Bowie that Fair Use regulations allow we cut to the Karmic TV studio where we are met, as always, but a warm and friendly welcome from Cherry Baum and a cool and collected acknowledgment of our existence from Karma
Hi guys, welcome back to another episode of Karmic TV, the show where we ask the questions that other shows are too afraid to ask. For example, today’s question is…could the jackass that barged into me in Prospect Park and caused me to miss out on a Blastoise please go and boil their own head?
Sensing the hostility in Cherry’s voice, or maybe finding himself getting increasingly worried by her Pokemon GO habits, Karma quietly scooches a little further down the sofa from her
naturally, we can’t start this show without recapping the good news, namely how J-K both qualified for the 2016 Frontier Lions Cup, and how he did it at the expense of Johnny Cannon’s hired help and occasional contributor to the New Kings, Danny Diamond. Considering all that this group has put you through in recent weeks, months even, I am sure it felt good to give back some of what they have dished out?
I’d say so, because what I did is remind Diamond of a simple fact he seems to have forgotten: just because you call yourself a member of the New Kings, that doesn’t mean you’re invincible. In fact, Diamond found out how vincible he really is when he doesn’t have Cannon and Carmine doing the dirty work so Diamond can get his licks in when he’s worked up the courage.
He must have known, I mean he seriously could’ve guessed, that I had all the incentive in the world headed into that match: I had a chance to get some long-overdue payback on the New Kings, a spot in the Frontier Lions Cup was just waiting for me at the end of the match, and the FLC itself takes me on a collision course with that other member of the New Kings who is in dire need of being taken down so many pegs that he’ll lose count before he’s even halfway through his fall. And if he didn’t know, Cannon should’ve told him that it was his job, as his only insurance policy in the tournament, to be a roadblock to as many members of the FWA roster as possible just so Cannon could cling onto the FWA Championship a little longer. Instead I put Diamond down, and with one King down there’s just one to go – and to get there there’s just three matches between me and Cannon.
Yeah, “just” three matches…
The look on Karma’s face indicates he knows he’s underselling the notion of winning the Frontier Lions Cup just a little
…obviously it’s not going to be easy, unless a case of Zika virus goes around the locker room – but since no member of the FWA roster is headed to Rio, that means they don’t have any reason to pretend they’re not going because of the virus as opposed to, oh I don’t know, a more lucrative competition taking place at the same time – right, golfers?
Karma does the international mime for money, strongly implying that he believes golfers are only in it for the money and the awful, awful menswear
Right now, though, the FLC isn’t what’s in my immediate future, as instead I am facing the person responsible for Johnny Cannon getting his paws on the FWA Championship, namely the ex-champion Zero McHannon…so, yup, now you’re hearing from me Zero, as a man speaks when he has to…which would make you…?
Giving a quick shrug, Karma opens up the floor for suggestions as to the best denomination with which to describe McHannon
I don’t suggest you get uppity with me about that description, either, because there’s something else a man knows all too well: the second you lay the back of your hand on a woman, you stop being a man and become something…less.
Yeah, yeah, I’m sure you might want to think of suggesting some loophole to try and avoid taking responsibility and throw shade on me, like saying that it was a few weeks ago when I was laying the back of my hand on Fujiko Mine a couple of dozen times, but if you think that’s going to wash, let alone absolve you of what you did, not only does it make it look like you’ve been spending too much time over in Hard Knox taking ethics lessons from that mealy-mouthed bolvan Elijah Black, but your name is more deserving than you first thought. To hear you talking about “settling” for second best made me sick to the stomach, because you have no idea where second best even is let alone what it is because, while I’ve been quick to call a good half dozen members of the roster out for being the lowest of the low, only you went so low.
A palpable sense of rage starts to build in Karma’s voice, as he gets more and more focused upon the subject of McHannon
And to see you stand in the ring, in my ring, the ring that so many others call home on every single show, and say how much you love the company only to do everything but unzip your fly and write your name on the canvas the moment the crowd saw through your tissue of lies because they had the nerve, the sheer nerve to not kneel down before you and say “Yes, Mr McHannon, share your wisdom with us” because they’re not as dumb as you stood there and tried to tell them they are…to see you destroy the thing that defines me and so many others, all because you can’t handle a couple of home truths about yourself…
As the rage builds, Karma finds himself fumbling for words, unable to vocalise all the things going through his head at this second because he cannot find a way to vocalise grabbing McHannon by the lapels and shoving him back-first into a brick wall
…congratulations, McHannon, you’re the first person in FWA history to actually render me speechless. I hope you’re proud.
Letting out a deep sigh, mixed in with a grunt of irritation, Karma attempts to collect his thoughts for a moment
I bet you’re probably hoping that people felt sorry for you when Carmine came back from the dead and helped Cannon and Diamond beat you like the dog that you are, too? But why should anyone feel sorry for you? Not only are you undeserving of sympathy, but the fact is you were dumb enough to walk into a set-up and think you’d walk out without a scratch on you because…what, you held the FWA Championship a few weeks ago? You had a decent showing in last year’s Gold Rush Rumble? If I wanted to hear some non sequiturs that took five years off my life due to the number of braincells they killed per second, I’d attend a Trump rally. That’s the level of moron you displayed, Zero, and there’s times where it’s good to see somebody pay for their own stupidity. In fact, I should send a clip of the beatdown you took to the Darwin Awards, they’d probably give you an honourable mention when they hand out this year’s trophies.
So here’s what it comes down to, McHannon: I have to beat you – and I have to beat you so I can sleep at night, because I’ll know that I had the chance to stand in front of you and make it all stop. All the self-important rationalising you do to try and make yourself feel better about the things you’ve done, stopped. The feeling you can throw your weight around because of who you are, stopped. This belief you have in your head that you can just keep running your mouth about whoever you feel like just because you haven’t sent a tweet for five seconds that is nothing more than Chinese water torture for anyone with a soul to read, stopped. That sense of entitlement you have over the FWA Champtionship and how you are the only person who has the right to go against the New Kings and take the belts from Johnny Cannon…stopped.
You don’t have the right to think the New Kings have wronged you, because where were you when I was getting beaten on time and time again? That’s right, you were sat in your ivory tower thinking that it didn’t concern you, that you were above all this, and you only paid attention the moment they were knocking on your door. That’s how stupid you are, McHannon, because you didn’t think it was worth the effort to look beyond your own short-term, self-serving interests, and now look where you are. You’re on the outside, you’re outnumbered, and I don’t see anybody willing to put their neck on the line to help you, because you’ve given people plenty of reason to leave you on your own in the face of something you can’t possibly overcome – and that’s the real value of your name and everything you’ve ever done, McHannon, because when it all boils down to it there’s not one finger being raised to do you a favour because nobody thinks you’re worth the effort.
This is why I have to beat you, to show you that there’s a price for your actions and it’ll cost you the one thing you hold dear: the belief that there’s no-one better than you. So what’ll you do when I shatter that illusion? Tear up another ring? Throw some more furniture around? Pathetic.
At this point karma gets up from his sofa, looks directly towards the camera, before he jabs a finger directly towards the lens before repeating the last word with added emphasis…
Pathetic.
…at which point he removes his mic and marches off set, clearly agitated as we can hear Karma continuing to vent as he walks off set
23rd July 2016, Tucson AZ
Once more we catch up with Karma and Cherry at the last Vertigo taping, or to be more accurate shortly afterwards – or to be even more accurate, at about the same time that the New Kings are putting the boots to Zero McHannon, but Karma decided it would be best if he and Cherry left the arena early rather than endure another McHannon diatribe followed by him rearranging the ringside area, so the pair have decamped to a nearby bar in order to have a quick drink before calling it a night
Are you sure nobody had an issue with you checking out of the show early? It’s hardly like you to do something like that.
What are they going to do, have me clear up all the things McHannon threw around in his latest hissy fit? Please…
Karma scoffs at the idea, muttering as he takes a sip from his bottle of craft ale. Once he finishes muttering, he looks towards Cherry – and he sees that her eyes are fixed on a TV screen directly behind him, and he instinctively knows something is not right so he looks over his shoulder to see a returning Tony Carmine join in on the New Kings’ beatdown of McHannon. After watching for a few seconds longer that seems healthy, a note of concern filters into Cherry’s voice
J-K…
Rather than respond in a negative manner to what he is seeing, Karma calmly turns back towards Cherry and places his bottle on the table, tapping the neck with his index finger for a second or two before he finally says what’s on his mind
To be honest with you, I’m not mad.
Cherry shoots Karma a confused look
Seriously, I’m not. On the one hand it was only a matter of time before what McHannon did at the last show caught up with him, and on the other…well I did say I wasn’t accepting Carmine’s apology, all because I trust him about as much as I’d trust a rattlesnake to babysit. So, yeah, having Carmine back in the mix is a problem, no denying that – but right now, those four idiots can destroy each other for the next few weeks, and I’ll just focus on being the guy to step up against whatever’s left so I can consign the lot of them to the trashcan where they belong.
As his almost eerie sense of calm reflection has Cherry slightly perturbed, especially as Karma takes a sip of his beer as Cannon and Carmine put the finishing touches to their beatdown on McHannon - and at that point Cherry's phone alerts her to a nearby Pokemon...yet rather than leap to her feet and hurl Pokeballs left, right and centre, she doesn't even notice her phone as she is more interested in trying to work out where Karma's head is at
