I'll Keep Coming.
Jun 23, 2016 16:58:27 GMT -5
Post by James Joseph Page. on Jun 23, 2016 16:58:27 GMT -5
Letter & Flowers.
To Emily Carter.
Many people think I should be suspended for the things I've done. But to be quite honest, most of those people don't know what it's like to be humiliated to the point where you want to take action. What Chandler did to me neutering, it emasculated me. The one thing I held onto, the most covenant thing I've ever done in my life was win the FGA World Heavyweight Championship. I went from dumpster diving for half eaten food to being able to buy a steak at a nice restaurant. Women wanted to be around me, people wanted to buy me drinks, I was something again. And so, 2014 was my year, I've still got awards sitting somewhere in a box in my apartment.
Some time ago, I started to take the box out and look at'em. Sometimes, I'll polish them, then put them back into the box and shove them back in the back of the closet. You have to understand what was taken from me. You have to understand that in the greater scheme of things you were merely a casualty. I don't hold any contempt for you. Your wounds, they'll heal, you'll get better; Hey, this is a learning experience, you wanna know what the business is really like and all, right? Well I showed you. Wrestling--as a whole as of right now--is an opera of vitriol. Everyone that you think you have a connection with, always turns on you. There are no friends, only enemies.
I've had target painted on my back for almost 20 years of my life growing up. It got so bad at one point in my life, if I ever had to go to the bathroom I would shake over my shoulder to make sure no one tried to break in to either rob me or kill me. Because in this harsh, harsh reality Emily...no one remembers the handshake...they always remember the slap in the face. Am I sorry you had to learn that the hard way? No. Chandler should've taught you that, but that just goes to show how reliable he is, right? Chandler wasn't there when I crushed your fingers underneath my shoe.
He wasn't there when you were crawling on the floor like a roach running from it's demise. He wasn't there to save you when your blood painted the porcelain tiles. And in your faint cries that I heard, calling for him, he didn't magically appear. I didn't write this letter to apologize. It did it...more to desensitize you to what I'm going to do to Chandler. I'm going to do the same thing I did to you. I'm going to dehumanize him, I'm going to make him feel helpless. Quite honestly, I want to know see how far his bravado can withstand it all. I want to hear how he screams, I want to see if he cries; I want to see if he can squeak out your name when I watch the light fade from his eyes.
This isn't an apology letter. I'm not sorry for what I did to you, or what Chandler went through when he found out what happened. I feel no remorse nor do I feel regret, because I got what I wanted at the end. You have my sympathy but not my empathy. And I know you may still hate me, but I'm use to it. Everyone hates me, and I've grown to embrace it. A person like me wasn't meant to be liked by anyone I come in contact with. I'll forever wear the albatross around my neck so you won't have to. I'll be your hate, I'll be your misanthropy, I'll be the living embodiment of the things you lock deep down inside of you. I'll do the same for Chandler, I'll be his rage, fury, disgust...I'll bleed if you want me to. I'll be the thing you can feel good to hate.
I've embraced what's to come in Florida. Chandler, he's angry, he's going to do everything he can to destroy me. Me? I wouldn't have it any other way. It's poetic when you think about it. I want Chandler to do everything he can to end me. I want him to do it, because I want to show him that quite honestly he's no better than me. That arrogance, that feeling of superiority? All a mask. Because he's a weak-minded fool just like me, who can do nothing but hurt people. He's a monster in the making, and I have you to thank. You played a bigger role than I imagine now that I think about it. You helped me bring the cruelty out of him. And for that...thank you.
I hope you like the flowers I got you, however. I think they look nice. I hope your wounds heal, and I hope you take something away from this. I know I have, so with that, I'll see you around.
After The Lion's Den Incident.
I realized something, once you try and wash blood off of your hands, it's hard to come off. After what I did, I knew they would come looking for me. My clothes, even my face was coated in blood. Why won't it come off? I'm trying everything, but it just won't come off. I frantically tried to scrub as hard as I could until my hands were pruned and sore. "FUCK!!!!" I let out a frustrated shout, tossing the soap into motel bathroom mirror. CRACK. The mirror broke, showing a distorted reflection of myself in the mirror. My breathing became hectic, I sat on the toilet, rocking back and forth feeling as if I were sick.
I rushed towards the bed, grabbing my wallet. With $40, I threw on a hoodie, even though it was a humid day and walked towards the gas station to buy two boxes of beer. Coming back, I sat down on the corner of the bed, opening a can. I nearly choked back on it at how fast I was drinking. Then I had another one, and then another one, just enough to calm myself. What I did to that girl, what I did out of anger and spite, I stepped back and realized what kind of monster I had become. After one box of beer was gone, I went to the rest...
To Emily Carter.
Hey Emily,
How are you doing? I know this might not be the right time to contact you, I really didn't know how to do this. If you're wondering why I'm spending you a letter...I don't really use my e-mail account, I forgot the password a few years ago. But, since I went out of my way to buy you some flowers, the least I could do was write a letter explaining to you what's happened. By the way, I forgot to ask around about what your favorites are, so I went with the cliche roses. Here's hoping you like them. I don't want you to think of me as a harsh person. In fact, I don't want you to think of me as a person who does certain things without a reason. What I did to you, wasn't an act of random violence. It was merely a means to justify the end. You may feel as if I'm some maniac. Someone who enjoys seeing the pain I cause. You might be right, maybe I do have a problem. But sometimes you have to throw rocks at a glass house in order for people to really listen to you, y'know? Of course you don't. To you, these are the ramblings aren't they?
How are you doing? I know this might not be the right time to contact you, I really didn't know how to do this. If you're wondering why I'm spending you a letter...I don't really use my e-mail account, I forgot the password a few years ago. But, since I went out of my way to buy you some flowers, the least I could do was write a letter explaining to you what's happened. By the way, I forgot to ask around about what your favorites are, so I went with the cliche roses. Here's hoping you like them. I don't want you to think of me as a harsh person. In fact, I don't want you to think of me as a person who does certain things without a reason. What I did to you, wasn't an act of random violence. It was merely a means to justify the end. You may feel as if I'm some maniac. Someone who enjoys seeing the pain I cause. You might be right, maybe I do have a problem. But sometimes you have to throw rocks at a glass house in order for people to really listen to you, y'know? Of course you don't. To you, these are the ramblings aren't they?
Many people think I should be suspended for the things I've done. But to be quite honest, most of those people don't know what it's like to be humiliated to the point where you want to take action. What Chandler did to me neutering, it emasculated me. The one thing I held onto, the most covenant thing I've ever done in my life was win the FGA World Heavyweight Championship. I went from dumpster diving for half eaten food to being able to buy a steak at a nice restaurant. Women wanted to be around me, people wanted to buy me drinks, I was something again. And so, 2014 was my year, I've still got awards sitting somewhere in a box in my apartment.
Some time ago, I started to take the box out and look at'em. Sometimes, I'll polish them, then put them back into the box and shove them back in the back of the closet. You have to understand what was taken from me. You have to understand that in the greater scheme of things you were merely a casualty. I don't hold any contempt for you. Your wounds, they'll heal, you'll get better; Hey, this is a learning experience, you wanna know what the business is really like and all, right? Well I showed you. Wrestling--as a whole as of right now--is an opera of vitriol. Everyone that you think you have a connection with, always turns on you. There are no friends, only enemies.
I've had target painted on my back for almost 20 years of my life growing up. It got so bad at one point in my life, if I ever had to go to the bathroom I would shake over my shoulder to make sure no one tried to break in to either rob me or kill me. Because in this harsh, harsh reality Emily...no one remembers the handshake...they always remember the slap in the face. Am I sorry you had to learn that the hard way? No. Chandler should've taught you that, but that just goes to show how reliable he is, right? Chandler wasn't there when I crushed your fingers underneath my shoe.
He wasn't there when you were crawling on the floor like a roach running from it's demise. He wasn't there to save you when your blood painted the porcelain tiles. And in your faint cries that I heard, calling for him, he didn't magically appear. I didn't write this letter to apologize. It did it...more to desensitize you to what I'm going to do to Chandler. I'm going to do the same thing I did to you. I'm going to dehumanize him, I'm going to make him feel helpless. Quite honestly, I want to know see how far his bravado can withstand it all. I want to hear how he screams, I want to see if he cries; I want to see if he can squeak out your name when I watch the light fade from his eyes.
This isn't an apology letter. I'm not sorry for what I did to you, or what Chandler went through when he found out what happened. I feel no remorse nor do I feel regret, because I got what I wanted at the end. You have my sympathy but not my empathy. And I know you may still hate me, but I'm use to it. Everyone hates me, and I've grown to embrace it. A person like me wasn't meant to be liked by anyone I come in contact with. I'll forever wear the albatross around my neck so you won't have to. I'll be your hate, I'll be your misanthropy, I'll be the living embodiment of the things you lock deep down inside of you. I'll do the same for Chandler, I'll be his rage, fury, disgust...I'll bleed if you want me to. I'll be the thing you can feel good to hate.
I've embraced what's to come in Florida. Chandler, he's angry, he's going to do everything he can to destroy me. Me? I wouldn't have it any other way. It's poetic when you think about it. I want Chandler to do everything he can to end me. I want him to do it, because I want to show him that quite honestly he's no better than me. That arrogance, that feeling of superiority? All a mask. Because he's a weak-minded fool just like me, who can do nothing but hurt people. He's a monster in the making, and I have you to thank. You played a bigger role than I imagine now that I think about it. You helped me bring the cruelty out of him. And for that...thank you.
I hope you like the flowers I got you, however. I think they look nice. I hope your wounds heal, and I hope you take something away from this. I know I have, so with that, I'll see you around.
Jimmy Page.
After The Lion's Den Incident.
I realized something, once you try and wash blood off of your hands, it's hard to come off. After what I did, I knew they would come looking for me. My clothes, even my face was coated in blood. Why won't it come off? I'm trying everything, but it just won't come off. I frantically tried to scrub as hard as I could until my hands were pruned and sore. "FUCK!!!!" I let out a frustrated shout, tossing the soap into motel bathroom mirror. CRACK. The mirror broke, showing a distorted reflection of myself in the mirror. My breathing became hectic, I sat on the toilet, rocking back and forth feeling as if I were sick.
I rushed towards the bed, grabbing my wallet. With $40, I threw on a hoodie, even though it was a humid day and walked towards the gas station to buy two boxes of beer. Coming back, I sat down on the corner of the bed, opening a can. I nearly choked back on it at how fast I was drinking. Then I had another one, and then another one, just enough to calm myself. What I did to that girl, what I did out of anger and spite, I stepped back and realized what kind of monster I had become. After one box of beer was gone, I went to the rest...
HA-ARGH!!!! COUGH! COUGH, COUGH!!! HA-BLUUUUUUUUH!!!!! AWK!!!!
Faintly ... I'll go ...
To take this ... head on ...
The song played faintly as I sat inside of my room's shower, still wearing the bloody shirt. The lens captured me surrounded beer cans that sat on the tub.
I fight back a chuckle, tilting my head back.
I tried my best catch my breath. For a faint moment I could taste the egg and bacon biscuit I had for breakfast mixed with the bile and alcohol that so desperately wanted to leave my stomach. After it felt like everything was out, I slumped against the toilet, grasping it. Drool leaked from my beard, my eyes red and watery, and my nose runny. I just wanted to forget what I had done, I just wanted to sit here and die. I closed my eyes, the lights made me feel dizzy. I needed pills, maybe they would help. I need pills, I just wanna sleep. My hands began to tremble, I felt like my body was eating itself.
Is this what I truly was meant to become, just some horrible thing? Was I to become nothing more than a disgusting monster?! Maybe people were right about me all along. Maybe...I'm not meant to be human. God, I need pills, I need them bad. I can't go to sleep without them. My eyes were glossed over, and my body felt limp. I slumped my head to the left, closing my eyes. "You can't keep doing this." I heard faintly. What the fuck do you mean? "I mean this, this right here. If you keep drinking this shit you're going to end up having to get your stomach pumped." I don't fucking care, "Yes you do." No I don't!! "YES...you do!" the voice answered back.
I jumped to my feet and point at the being in front of me that had the nerve to show up using my face. "FUCK YOU!!!!" I exclaimed, drunk, angry, and full of regret. "What do you know?! SHIT!!!" I shout as I barely could stand on my feet. "You think I like being THIS?! HUH?! You think I like having to do the things I do?! Well if I don't, nobody's gonna take me seriously!!! JUST LIKE WHEN I WAS A KID, JUST LIKE WHEN I WAS TEENAGER, AND JUST LIKE NOW!!!! I did what I did to that fuckin' bitch because FOR THE FIRST TIME, for the VERY FIRST TIME I'm gonna get what I WANT!!!" I say forming a sick, coiled expression. "For the first times in my pathetic life, I'm gonna get what I wanted!!! How many times did I wish I had somethin' to eat, and you were in the back of my mind, tellin' me it would be okay?!? How many times did I wish that I didn't get beat up on the street for $2.45 every time I walked to school, and I heard you in my head tell me it would be alright; That they didn't understand, that THEY WERE JUST MISUNDERSTOOD?!?!?!!! THIS--WHAT'S GONNA COME--THIS...THIS IS WHAT I WANT...!!!" I stared at my subconscious, who looked on at me with sympathy in his eyes.
"You remember your 6th birthday...?" He uttered to me, I go quiet, leaning over the sink. "You were always a quiet kid, you were funny when you were alone. I remember when you use to pretend you were Superman." He chuckled, slowly walking pass me and sitting down on the toilet. "You were worried no one would show up for your party. You had Mr. and Mrs. Gransby hand out flyers, and they were gonna buy a big cake...the whole ten yards. You didn't think you were gonna get that party. Kids ignored you back in school, you thought you didn't have a friend in the world. I kept telling you that...things...were gonna get better. Just because you were a little boy who just wanted to be HAPPY." He said, looking off to the side. "Turns out, no one showed up. You asked around the school and people gave you that tired line that they would be busy that Friday. Even I was upset for you. But when you opened that door, and you saw that giant cake, and you saw Mr. Gransby dressed up like Bozo the Clown and all the other foster kids were there with presents and singing Happy Birthday..." He pauses for a moment, he gives a small smile, "I know it hurts, believe me I should know the most how much it hurts, Jimmy. I wish there was some way I could help you, but I can't. All I can do is talk, and reassure you that there's a silver lining somewhere, and you just have to find it. Because if you don't, you're going to end up hating yourself for the rest of your life." He finished.
Depressed, I began to weep, he watched as I took in deep, staggered breaths. He stood up slowly, looking at the broken reflection, he walked off. I turn my head, sniffling, and he was gone. I walk out of the bathroom, looking for him. He disappeared, and I was alone again. I dragged my half drunk body towards the bed, and sat down on it. The second case of beer sat by my side. I slowly pick up a can, and open it. I quietly begin to drink slowly, in my lonesome. For right now...I...I...
Is this what I truly was meant to become, just some horrible thing? Was I to become nothing more than a disgusting monster?! Maybe people were right about me all along. Maybe...I'm not meant to be human. God, I need pills, I need them bad. I can't go to sleep without them. My eyes were glossed over, and my body felt limp. I slumped my head to the left, closing my eyes. "You can't keep doing this." I heard faintly. What the fuck do you mean? "I mean this, this right here. If you keep drinking this shit you're going to end up having to get your stomach pumped." I don't fucking care, "Yes you do." No I don't!! "YES...you do!" the voice answered back.
I jumped to my feet and point at the being in front of me that had the nerve to show up using my face. "FUCK YOU!!!!" I exclaimed, drunk, angry, and full of regret. "What do you know?! SHIT!!!" I shout as I barely could stand on my feet. "You think I like being THIS?! HUH?! You think I like having to do the things I do?! Well if I don't, nobody's gonna take me seriously!!! JUST LIKE WHEN I WAS A KID, JUST LIKE WHEN I WAS TEENAGER, AND JUST LIKE NOW!!!! I did what I did to that fuckin' bitch because FOR THE FIRST TIME, for the VERY FIRST TIME I'm gonna get what I WANT!!!" I say forming a sick, coiled expression. "For the first times in my pathetic life, I'm gonna get what I wanted!!! How many times did I wish I had somethin' to eat, and you were in the back of my mind, tellin' me it would be okay?!? How many times did I wish that I didn't get beat up on the street for $2.45 every time I walked to school, and I heard you in my head tell me it would be alright; That they didn't understand, that THEY WERE JUST MISUNDERSTOOD?!?!?!!! THIS--WHAT'S GONNA COME--THIS...THIS IS WHAT I WANT...!!!" I stared at my subconscious, who looked on at me with sympathy in his eyes.
"You remember your 6th birthday...?" He uttered to me, I go quiet, leaning over the sink. "You were always a quiet kid, you were funny when you were alone. I remember when you use to pretend you were Superman." He chuckled, slowly walking pass me and sitting down on the toilet. "You were worried no one would show up for your party. You had Mr. and Mrs. Gransby hand out flyers, and they were gonna buy a big cake...the whole ten yards. You didn't think you were gonna get that party. Kids ignored you back in school, you thought you didn't have a friend in the world. I kept telling you that...things...were gonna get better. Just because you were a little boy who just wanted to be HAPPY." He said, looking off to the side. "Turns out, no one showed up. You asked around the school and people gave you that tired line that they would be busy that Friday. Even I was upset for you. But when you opened that door, and you saw that giant cake, and you saw Mr. Gransby dressed up like Bozo the Clown and all the other foster kids were there with presents and singing Happy Birthday..." He pauses for a moment, he gives a small smile, "I know it hurts, believe me I should know the most how much it hurts, Jimmy. I wish there was some way I could help you, but I can't. All I can do is talk, and reassure you that there's a silver lining somewhere, and you just have to find it. Because if you don't, you're going to end up hating yourself for the rest of your life." He finished.
Depressed, I began to weep, he watched as I took in deep, staggered breaths. He stood up slowly, looking at the broken reflection, he walked off. I turn my head, sniffling, and he was gone. I walk out of the bathroom, looking for him. He disappeared, and I was alone again. I dragged my half drunk body towards the bed, and sat down on it. The second case of beer sat by my side. I slowly pick up a can, and open it. I quietly begin to drink slowly, in my lonesome. For right now...I...I...
Just let me forget...
Faintly ... I'll go ...
To take this ... head on ...
The song played faintly as I sat inside of my room's shower, still wearing the bloody shirt. The lens captured me surrounded beer cans that sat on the tub.
"I'm afraid to die."
I pause for a moment.
"What scares me the most...is not dying on my own terms. Someone taking life from me. I always get these chills, during Chivalry Is Dead. My blood runs cold, my heart feels like it wants to stop. Then...the blood...the copper smell, the sick...wet...feeling; The way it irritates your eyes. Then...everything goes numb. I don't worried about death anymore. I embrace it, I welcome it. Yes...death and I are well acquainted. So my fears of it, during these types of matches...they disappear. And my fears, turn into an euphoric symphony. Because Chandler, I know deep down...in your heart...you're just as afraid as I was. When those words spouted from your conceited mouth, when you challenged me to a match, so brutal, so inhumane, I could see the hair stand up on your perfect back. I could see your eyes dilate. I could hear..."
"Your heartbeat. It was fear, mixed with arousal. Because I know how bad you want to get your hands on me. I know you want to mutilate me, maim me, do unspeakable things to me. But why? Why does Chandler Scott, this GOD among men want to hurt me so bad. Because I showed that GOD...can't co-exist without the DEVIL. I became your devil Scott, the thing that no matter how much you try and get rid of, I won't disappear. I'm never gonna go away. What you've done to me, what you've made me become...there's a price to pay at the end of it all. 2014, you took away my piece of history. You took away the FGA World Championship. And for the past year and a half, I've never been the same. But you feel no remorse what how shitty you've made my life. In fact you THRIVE off of it. My misery is the fruit I bare for you to CONSUME.
And no matter where I looked, no matter how much I tried, I can never wash the stink off. I can never live down that I lost to you twice, I can never live down that I came up JUST SHORT to regain my title. I can never live down the fact that Zero McHannon was the one to beat you!! For a year...and a half, I have worn that shame. I have been MOCKED, I've been RIDICULED, I've been UNDERMINED, I have been NOTHING!!!! NOTHING SCOTT!!!! My existence is nothing more than a JOKE!!!!YOU DID THIS!!!!"
"YOU DID THIS TO MEEEEEE!!!!! AND YOU WON'T ADMIT IT!!!! A...And so...I try...to make a match. That's all I wanted, all I wanted was a match against you. And I kept asking, and I kept asking, and I kept asking...and to no avail...you ignored me. You made me feel small, weak, and unimportant. You made me feel the thing I fear more than death: Never being remembered. And you took away my dignity and DASHED IT AGAINST THE STONES!!!! And a lesser man, he would give up. A lesser man, would disappear into nothing. BUT GODDAMN IT I'M NO LESSER MAN!!!"
"See Chandler, I prayed one night, hoping something would give me an answer. I prayed to God...and I asked him, JUST GIVE ME A SHOT! I told Him, I know I've done somethings in my life that outweigh the good, but please, if you have any love in your heart, just let me have this match. I prayed for this to happen. I prayed hard, and each time I checked on Twitter...to see you talking about coming back...I knew my prayers would be answered. So I waited, and when it came time to finally get the answer I wanted...Chandler Scott was nowhere to be found. My pride as a man was in danger!! Normally, when someone calls you out, you answer. But I didn't receive an answer for almost an entire month! And so, I began to think, maybe I praying, and my wishing wasn't enough! Maybe...Chandler Scott, maybe you thought I wasn't even worth anything! "
THUMP. THUMP. THUMP...my fingers went against the tub.
"Your heartbeat. It was fear, mixed with arousal. Because I know how bad you want to get your hands on me. I know you want to mutilate me, maim me, do unspeakable things to me. But why? Why does Chandler Scott, this GOD among men want to hurt me so bad. Because I showed that GOD...can't co-exist without the DEVIL. I became your devil Scott, the thing that no matter how much you try and get rid of, I won't disappear. I'm never gonna go away. What you've done to me, what you've made me become...there's a price to pay at the end of it all. 2014, you took away my piece of history. You took away the FGA World Championship. And for the past year and a half, I've never been the same. But you feel no remorse what how shitty you've made my life. In fact you THRIVE off of it. My misery is the fruit I bare for you to CONSUME.
And no matter where I looked, no matter how much I tried, I can never wash the stink off. I can never live down that I lost to you twice, I can never live down that I came up JUST SHORT to regain my title. I can never live down the fact that Zero McHannon was the one to beat you!! For a year...and a half, I have worn that shame. I have been MOCKED, I've been RIDICULED, I've been UNDERMINED, I have been NOTHING!!!! NOTHING SCOTT!!!! My existence is nothing more than a JOKE!!!!YOU DID THIS!!!!"
I begin to throw beer cans, opened and unopened around the bathroom. I show him my domain of trash. My eyes were welling up with tears.
"YOU DID THIS TO MEEEEEE!!!!! AND YOU WON'T ADMIT IT!!!! A...And so...I try...to make a match. That's all I wanted, all I wanted was a match against you. And I kept asking, and I kept asking, and I kept asking...and to no avail...you ignored me. You made me feel small, weak, and unimportant. You made me feel the thing I fear more than death: Never being remembered. And you took away my dignity and DASHED IT AGAINST THE STONES!!!! And a lesser man, he would give up. A lesser man, would disappear into nothing. BUT GODDAMN IT I'M NO LESSER MAN!!!"
I pause, and point up to the sky, keeping my gaze looked on the ceiling.
"See Chandler, I prayed one night, hoping something would give me an answer. I prayed to God...and I asked him, JUST GIVE ME A SHOT! I told Him, I know I've done somethings in my life that outweigh the good, but please, if you have any love in your heart, just let me have this match. I prayed for this to happen. I prayed hard, and each time I checked on Twitter...to see you talking about coming back...I knew my prayers would be answered. So I waited, and when it came time to finally get the answer I wanted...Chandler Scott was nowhere to be found. My pride as a man was in danger!! Normally, when someone calls you out, you answer. But I didn't receive an answer for almost an entire month! And so, I began to think, maybe I praying, and my wishing wasn't enough! Maybe...Chandler Scott, maybe you thought I wasn't even worth anything! "
I fight back a chuckle, tilting my head back.
"Oooh Chandler, I proved you wrong didn't I? It didn't take much. When there are so many people who know each other; When the web's got so many flies stuck in it, Chandler...how could someone like me ignore the people in your life. Emily, I'm sure she's a sweet girl. She's loving, forgiving, warm, and hey...maybe some day she'll be a great wrestler just like you! I guess it runs in the family. Emily didn't have to go through that Chandler, she didn't have to see the ugly side of professional wrestling. You weren't there to protect her from it. Everything that Emily got rests on YOUR HEAD, CHANDLER SCOTT...and your's alone...!!! She was doing so well in training, she looked like she was primed and ready to be a big name. And then I took her dreams, and I SMASHED THEM INTO DUST!!!!
I BEAT HER, AND EMBARRASSED HER, I MADE HER CRAWL ON HER HANDS AND KNEES LIKE A BEATEN DOG!!!! And in her daze and confusion, those dewy eyes looked back at me, and she asked me...'Why...?' and I felt something in my heart. It's the feeling you get when you see an animal in such pain, and you can't do anything but help speed up the process so it won't suffer anymore! And so I grabbed her by her soft, shiny hair that smelled up sweat and blood...AND I CRUSHED HER PRETTY FACE INTO A BATHROOM MIRROR!!!! And as she laid there on the floor, I didn't know a human being could bleed so much!!! And no matter how hard I tried, no matter what I did, the blood just wouldn't come up!!!! WHY WON'T IT COME UP?! Why...Why..."
I look at my hands, and clench them tightly.
"All Star Showdown, I know...what's going to happen to me. I've made my bed of nails and I know I'm going to be bodyslammed into it!!! But...at the end of the day, I got the match I wanted. I get to slice, and cut you Chandler! I get to disfigure you, and humiliate you; I get to take your manhood!!! At All Star Showdown Chandler, I'm going to beat you down. I'm going to dissect you, I get to DIG into your MEAT...and I want to see you GIVE UP!!!! I WANT YOU TO HOLD YOUR HANDS UP LIKE THE COWARD YOU ARE...AND I WANT YOU TO CRY, AND SOB...ASKING FOR ME TO MAKE IT STOP!!!! I WANT YOU TO BREAK FOR ME!!!!"
"For the first time in my life, I'm not afraid of death. Because no matter what you do to me, I'll keep coming back. You can destroy me Chandler, but it will never end. I will torment you for as long as I'm able to draw a breath. So, if you don't want to live in that Hell, you better end me this match. Because no matter the damage, I'll keep coming. I will forever be the shadow that stands behind you. I will forever...be your devil. Do I have a death wish? I just want peace of mind."
"And I think...I'm going to get it this Saturday night. No matter what you do to me Chandler...I'll keep coming..."
" I'll keep coming...
I'll keep coming...
I'll keep coming... "
I'LL KEEP COMING.
END.
I BEAT HER, AND EMBARRASSED HER, I MADE HER CRAWL ON HER HANDS AND KNEES LIKE A BEATEN DOG!!!! And in her daze and confusion, those dewy eyes looked back at me, and she asked me...'Why...?' and I felt something in my heart. It's the feeling you get when you see an animal in such pain, and you can't do anything but help speed up the process so it won't suffer anymore! And so I grabbed her by her soft, shiny hair that smelled up sweat and blood...AND I CRUSHED HER PRETTY FACE INTO A BATHROOM MIRROR!!!! And as she laid there on the floor, I didn't know a human being could bleed so much!!! And no matter how hard I tried, no matter what I did, the blood just wouldn't come up!!!! WHY WON'T IT COME UP?! Why...Why..."
I look at my hands, and clench them tightly.
"All Star Showdown, I know...what's going to happen to me. I've made my bed of nails and I know I'm going to be bodyslammed into it!!! But...at the end of the day, I got the match I wanted. I get to slice, and cut you Chandler! I get to disfigure you, and humiliate you; I get to take your manhood!!! At All Star Showdown Chandler, I'm going to beat you down. I'm going to dissect you, I get to DIG into your MEAT...and I want to see you GIVE UP!!!! I WANT YOU TO HOLD YOUR HANDS UP LIKE THE COWARD YOU ARE...AND I WANT YOU TO CRY, AND SOB...ASKING FOR ME TO MAKE IT STOP!!!! I WANT YOU TO BREAK FOR ME!!!!"
I scowl, tears were streaming down my face. I lay back inside of the tub, calming down a bit. I glare into the camera lens.
"For the first time in my life, I'm not afraid of death. Because no matter what you do to me, I'll keep coming back. You can destroy me Chandler, but it will never end. I will torment you for as long as I'm able to draw a breath. So, if you don't want to live in that Hell, you better end me this match. Because no matter the damage, I'll keep coming. I will forever be the shadow that stands behind you. I will forever...be your devil. Do I have a death wish? I just want peace of mind."
I pause for a moment.
"And I think...I'm going to get it this Saturday night. No matter what you do to me Chandler...I'll keep coming..."
I sit back in the tub, and mutter the lyrics of the song playing.
" I'll keep coming...
I'll keep coming...
I'll keep coming... "
I'LL KEEP COMING.
END.
