One Man versus Two Bitches
Jun 9, 2016 19:19:34 GMT -5
Post by Zero McHannon on Jun 9, 2016 19:19:34 GMT -5
Just how stupid can people get?
Let’s take Johnny Cannon and Carmine for example. There’s a reason I put them up against each other for the upcoming Vertigo. Not only to scout how they face each other, once again. I want to see what kind of shots they fire at each other. If they really mean that they won’t hold back when it comes to stepping in the ring together, then I want them to prove it. I want to see what exactly comes out of their mouths to one another. See if they’ll hold back, or speak the cold hard truth to their partner.
They’ve done my job of driving enough of a wrench between each of them that it’s going to be amusing to see if they can continue to do the job without having me lift a finger to help.
And to continue on their stupidity…
I give those idiots every choice in the locker room to choose my opponent, and even they find a way to fuck that up. They could’ve chosen the FGA Tag Team Champions. They could’ve chosen RubyWay, who put on a better match in Dynamic Duos than the New Kings could pull off in the main event. They could’ve even chosen Fujiko and Karma, since everyone who turned on the television saw the New Kings once again prematurely ejaculate in getting the job done against another randomly paired team. You would think that “biggest names in FGA” would sweep them under the rug.
Or that they would “back up what they say” and finish the match with a win and not laying on their backside like one of Carmine’s whores.
All these “facts” about the New Kings… Where are they at, though?
But they choose Izzy Anders and Jimmy Page. I thought the whole point of picking my opponent was to give me a challenge before heading into ASSV to beat their asses. Instead they chose they most dysfunctional team they could think of.
How many tag team matches have you watched where Page gets along with his partner? Izzy just lost her title to Annie and walked out of her latest match when she was paired with Yun. The two people you chose have been so distracted by Chandler Scott and Dom Harter that it’s honestly mind blowing that you picked them to begin with.
Fucking morons. You book matches almost as badly as this goddamn company. No thought process behind it. Should’ve put me up against Chandler Scott and Dom Harter. That’s what I would’ve done in your fucking shoes. They’re so eager to give Chandler the Co-Main Event at All Star Showdown, you should’ve made him earn it.
It was a win, win. You watch me get my shit kicked in, or you watch me put Chandler and Dom back in the surgery room.
But I’m ashamed of myself to think you guy were actually bright enough to do that. Not only am I seeing what you’ll do against each other one on one, but I wanted to see if your two heads have enough brain cells to pick formidable opponents.
And you guys actually think you came out on the better end of this deal… even with setting me up for a handicap match against two people I’ve beaten before.
You two are fucking embarrassing. It’s no wonder you’ve dragged down my FGA World Championship match to Co-Main Event level.
Long Island, New York
Monday - June 6th, 2016
Lee Redford, Zero’s longtime best friend, pulled up to McHannon’s house in Long Island with his daughter, Claire Redford. Zero had been complaining about not getting enough time with his goddaughter so Lee thought it would be a good idea to surprise him with a visit.
“I don’t wanna go in,” Claire said. “He can come visit us in Queens if he wants to see us so badly.”
“Don’t be like that, hunnie,” Lee replied. “Zero loves you more than life itself. It won’t hurt you to go inside for thirty minutes.”
Claire rolled her eyes and unbuckled the seatbelt. The pair of them made their way out of the car and approached the front door. Without knocking, they walked in and looked around the dark living room that didn’t have a soul in it. Only thing that made sound was the several televisions that ran in the next room. Lee poked his head in to see several images on the screen and could instantly tell what Zero had been doing.
Zero McHannon vs Jimmy Page. Above and Beyond.
Zero McHannon vs Izzy Anders. Vertigo.
“He was scouting,” Lee kept his voice hushed. “If he isn’t in here watching film, then what the hell is he doing?”
Lee and Claire continued their way through the house and walked into the kitchen that was just as abandoned as the rest of the place. While Lee looked around the deserted room he noticed the screen door open that led out to the pool area. Lee walked out onto the patio and seen that someone had been out there recently. The lights were on. Music was playing. Beer bottles and cups were scattered across the ground.
And there he was… Zero laid at poolside with one of his hands in the pool, passed out, and butt naked. Next to McHannon laid an Avion Tequila bottle and a naked girl, who also looked to have passed out from being drunk or on some drugs.
Lee turned around, lightly pushed Claire back inside the house, and said, “Go wait in the living room for me. I’ll come get you in a little while.”
“I guess what people have been saying to me at school is true. My godfather isn’t the person that he made people think he is.” Claire said before she turned around and walked back through the house.
Lee ran over to Zero and started to pull at him from under his arm, doing the best job he could to get the man back to his feet, but McHannon fell limp in his arms.
“Dear God, Zero… Wake the fuck up! What in the hell are you doing to yourself?” Redford continued to tug at the man’s arms to lift him up. Lee reached down into the pool and splashed some water on McHannon and watched him as he started to come back to life. Zero stood up, looked down to see he was naked, then walked over to a nearby table where his FGA World Championship was, and covered up his lower body with the title.
“You’ve got to be kidding me. I bring over Claire to see you and she has to see you like this? Get your head out of your ass, Zero. What’s wrong with you?” Lee started to shake Zero hard by the shoulders. “WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU!?!”
McHannon slapped his friend’s hand down and walked over to the naked girl that was at his poolside. “Get the fuck up. Get out of my house. Party over.” Zero jerked the girl up by the arm, but she didn’t show any sign of waking up. He dragged the girl across the patio by her wrist and stopped at the gate beside his house.
“Zero… Look at you, man. Tell me right now what’s wrong with you. Claire had to see you like this. Do you even care?” Lee asked.
“Do I look like I give much of a fuck about anything? But you do know what I give a shit about?” Zero tapped the FGA World Championship that covered his private parts. “Do you even have the slightest clue what I’ve been going through? Does that spoiled brat of a goddaughter I have know either? NO, YOU FUCKING DON’T! Because you just decided today that you’d come around after months. So don’t stand there and try to lecture me about what I’m doing with with my life when you haven’t been apart of it since I’ve won this title. Lost the title. WHENEVER!”
Zero stopped yelling for a moment as he opened the gate to the door. Finally, the naked girl woke up in a drowsy mess and looked at McHannon. “What are you doing? You said I could stay the night.”
“I lied.” Zero booted the girl right in the back and watched her fall outside the gate as he closed it behind her. She started to scream at the top of her lungs for her clothes and slammed her fists on the gate while Zero walked away.
Redford gave his friend a serious look before he spoke up, “You need help, Zero. You’re practically family. We can get through this together.”
“Save it, asshole. I’m going to tell you what I tell everyone else. I don’t fucking need you. I don’t need anyone in my job and I don’t need you in my life. I’m sick and fucking tired of being overlooked and forgotten about. YOU forgot about me. Not only do I have to put up with being screwed over at work, but I have to do the same at home? No. Not anymore. Get your ass out of my house. Don’t come back. You haven’t been to any of my matches since I’ve got this title and now you think you can just get a free ticket to come in my home?”
Zero pointed at the door. “Leave, before I make you leave. I’ll put my hands on you in a heartbeat, don’t think I won’t.”
Lee didn’t have anything to say to that as he turned around and walked back through the screen doors to leave Zero’s house. McHannon sat down hard in a chair next to one of the tables around the pool and rubbed a hand through his hair. Then he looked up at the window of his house and saw something that made his heart sink…
Claire looking through the glass to see just how far her godfather had fallen.
Let’s take Johnny Cannon and Carmine for example. There’s a reason I put them up against each other for the upcoming Vertigo. Not only to scout how they face each other, once again. I want to see what kind of shots they fire at each other. If they really mean that they won’t hold back when it comes to stepping in the ring together, then I want them to prove it. I want to see what exactly comes out of their mouths to one another. See if they’ll hold back, or speak the cold hard truth to their partner.
They’ve done my job of driving enough of a wrench between each of them that it’s going to be amusing to see if they can continue to do the job without having me lift a finger to help.
And to continue on their stupidity…
I give those idiots every choice in the locker room to choose my opponent, and even they find a way to fuck that up. They could’ve chosen the FGA Tag Team Champions. They could’ve chosen RubyWay, who put on a better match in Dynamic Duos than the New Kings could pull off in the main event. They could’ve even chosen Fujiko and Karma, since everyone who turned on the television saw the New Kings once again prematurely ejaculate in getting the job done against another randomly paired team. You would think that “biggest names in FGA” would sweep them under the rug.
Or that they would “back up what they say” and finish the match with a win and not laying on their backside like one of Carmine’s whores.
All these “facts” about the New Kings… Where are they at, though?
But they choose Izzy Anders and Jimmy Page. I thought the whole point of picking my opponent was to give me a challenge before heading into ASSV to beat their asses. Instead they chose they most dysfunctional team they could think of.
How many tag team matches have you watched where Page gets along with his partner? Izzy just lost her title to Annie and walked out of her latest match when she was paired with Yun. The two people you chose have been so distracted by Chandler Scott and Dom Harter that it’s honestly mind blowing that you picked them to begin with.
Fucking morons. You book matches almost as badly as this goddamn company. No thought process behind it. Should’ve put me up against Chandler Scott and Dom Harter. That’s what I would’ve done in your fucking shoes. They’re so eager to give Chandler the Co-Main Event at All Star Showdown, you should’ve made him earn it.
It was a win, win. You watch me get my shit kicked in, or you watch me put Chandler and Dom back in the surgery room.
But I’m ashamed of myself to think you guy were actually bright enough to do that. Not only am I seeing what you’ll do against each other one on one, but I wanted to see if your two heads have enough brain cells to pick formidable opponents.
And you guys actually think you came out on the better end of this deal… even with setting me up for a handicap match against two people I’ve beaten before.
You two are fucking embarrassing. It’s no wonder you’ve dragged down my FGA World Championship match to Co-Main Event level.
~~~~~~~~~~
Long Island, New York
Monday - June 6th, 2016
Lee Redford, Zero’s longtime best friend, pulled up to McHannon’s house in Long Island with his daughter, Claire Redford. Zero had been complaining about not getting enough time with his goddaughter so Lee thought it would be a good idea to surprise him with a visit.
“I don’t wanna go in,” Claire said. “He can come visit us in Queens if he wants to see us so badly.”
“Don’t be like that, hunnie,” Lee replied. “Zero loves you more than life itself. It won’t hurt you to go inside for thirty minutes.”
Claire rolled her eyes and unbuckled the seatbelt. The pair of them made their way out of the car and approached the front door. Without knocking, they walked in and looked around the dark living room that didn’t have a soul in it. Only thing that made sound was the several televisions that ran in the next room. Lee poked his head in to see several images on the screen and could instantly tell what Zero had been doing.
Zero McHannon vs Jimmy Page. Above and Beyond.
Zero McHannon vs Izzy Anders. Vertigo.
“He was scouting,” Lee kept his voice hushed. “If he isn’t in here watching film, then what the hell is he doing?”
Lee and Claire continued their way through the house and walked into the kitchen that was just as abandoned as the rest of the place. While Lee looked around the deserted room he noticed the screen door open that led out to the pool area. Lee walked out onto the patio and seen that someone had been out there recently. The lights were on. Music was playing. Beer bottles and cups were scattered across the ground.
And there he was… Zero laid at poolside with one of his hands in the pool, passed out, and butt naked. Next to McHannon laid an Avion Tequila bottle and a naked girl, who also looked to have passed out from being drunk or on some drugs.
Lee turned around, lightly pushed Claire back inside the house, and said, “Go wait in the living room for me. I’ll come get you in a little while.”
“I guess what people have been saying to me at school is true. My godfather isn’t the person that he made people think he is.” Claire said before she turned around and walked back through the house.
Lee ran over to Zero and started to pull at him from under his arm, doing the best job he could to get the man back to his feet, but McHannon fell limp in his arms.
“Dear God, Zero… Wake the fuck up! What in the hell are you doing to yourself?” Redford continued to tug at the man’s arms to lift him up. Lee reached down into the pool and splashed some water on McHannon and watched him as he started to come back to life. Zero stood up, looked down to see he was naked, then walked over to a nearby table where his FGA World Championship was, and covered up his lower body with the title.
“You’ve got to be kidding me. I bring over Claire to see you and she has to see you like this? Get your head out of your ass, Zero. What’s wrong with you?” Lee started to shake Zero hard by the shoulders. “WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU!?!”
McHannon slapped his friend’s hand down and walked over to the naked girl that was at his poolside. “Get the fuck up. Get out of my house. Party over.” Zero jerked the girl up by the arm, but she didn’t show any sign of waking up. He dragged the girl across the patio by her wrist and stopped at the gate beside his house.
“Zero… Look at you, man. Tell me right now what’s wrong with you. Claire had to see you like this. Do you even care?” Lee asked.
“Do I look like I give much of a fuck about anything? But you do know what I give a shit about?” Zero tapped the FGA World Championship that covered his private parts. “Do you even have the slightest clue what I’ve been going through? Does that spoiled brat of a goddaughter I have know either? NO, YOU FUCKING DON’T! Because you just decided today that you’d come around after months. So don’t stand there and try to lecture me about what I’m doing with with my life when you haven’t been apart of it since I’ve won this title. Lost the title. WHENEVER!”
Zero stopped yelling for a moment as he opened the gate to the door. Finally, the naked girl woke up in a drowsy mess and looked at McHannon. “What are you doing? You said I could stay the night.”
“I lied.” Zero booted the girl right in the back and watched her fall outside the gate as he closed it behind her. She started to scream at the top of her lungs for her clothes and slammed her fists on the gate while Zero walked away.
Redford gave his friend a serious look before he spoke up, “You need help, Zero. You’re practically family. We can get through this together.”
“Save it, asshole. I’m going to tell you what I tell everyone else. I don’t fucking need you. I don’t need anyone in my job and I don’t need you in my life. I’m sick and fucking tired of being overlooked and forgotten about. YOU forgot about me. Not only do I have to put up with being screwed over at work, but I have to do the same at home? No. Not anymore. Get your ass out of my house. Don’t come back. You haven’t been to any of my matches since I’ve got this title and now you think you can just get a free ticket to come in my home?”
Zero pointed at the door. “Leave, before I make you leave. I’ll put my hands on you in a heartbeat, don’t think I won’t.”
Lee didn’t have anything to say to that as he turned around and walked back through the screen doors to leave Zero’s house. McHannon sat down hard in a chair next to one of the tables around the pool and rubbed a hand through his hair. Then he looked up at the window of his house and saw something that made his heart sink…
Claire looking through the glass to see just how far her godfather had fallen.
~~~~~~~~~~
“Just because you put two former champs in the ring on the same side, it doesn’t give you a champion.
The random pairing of Izzy and Page sounds about like the pairing of Cannon and Carmine. You put two jackasses on the same team and think it works in theory, but in reality? There’s no thought in the chemistry. Page can’t get along with anyone long enough to make himself effective in a tag team match. Only thing Izzy is good at is showing her backside while she walks out of matches instead of standing her ground and fighting.
We all know Izzy wants to be a man in the worst way possible. I mean, just look at her disgusting lesbian tendencies. Just because you walk like a man, open you mouth with the same voice as a man, and thirst over other bitches like some of these men… doesn’t make you a man. You’re just a dyke, wishing you had a dick to swing around. Maybe Izzy should start taking lessons from Tony Carmine on how to act like a real lady.
You know what, though? For the first time in a long time, I’ve actually brought out the wrestler in Izzy, instead of the thirsty lesbian that wants to lick Cordy’s ass so bad that it’s disturbing. We haven’t seen the wrestling side of Izzy since she lost her Mid-Atlantic Legacy Championship. It’s like the thought of being a proper wrestler left her mind when that title did.
And that’s the biggest difference between me and that cootch licking slut.
Her obsession switched from wanting to be one of the greatest Mid-Atlantic Legacy Champions and defining her place in FGA as one of the greatest champions on the program… period, to forgetting about that title almost as quickly as it forgot about her. Her obsession switched to Dom Harter instead. Going at Harter doesn’t cement your legacy in this business. It doesn’t get you a shot at gold, unless your name is Cindy Parker, which was a pathetic decision on part of this fucking company. Surprise there.
It’s almost as if Izzy has fallen off the ledge of this company when she no longer held the title that she was so desperate to define.
Ooooops, I forgot Izzy was sensitive to the truth, my fault. I told Chandler Scott like it was when I took this FGA World Championship, and she was one of the first people to get all butt hurt and in her feelings about the snide remarks that I shaded in her direction. She got sand in her man vagina when I commented on how people could learn a thing from Muhammed Ali.
You’re all over the place, bitch. You can’t walk around like a hoarse voiced badass and get all sensitive when people out wrestle your favorite butt buddies. You got more hurt by what I said about other people than the last time we stepped into that ring and I handed you your own ass. Nice of you to care about other’s careers more than your own, but it’s also the reason you’ll be nothing more than a stepping stone to the top for a lot of people that walk through FGA.
While you were playing grab ass with the other little girls for the Mid-Atlantic Legacy Championship, I was slingshotted to the front of the line to being a contender for the FGA World Championship. Only to have your spot taken by another wannabe crotch licker, Molly Reid. No rematch. Overlooked by this business and you just took it in the ass without a single word to stand up for yourself.
For a chick that wants to be a man so badly, you have no balls.
I can hear Izzy now… ‘Last time we faced you said this-this-and this’. ‘And you said that I let a title change who I was, but look at yourself in the mirror’. ‘You acted like you were a better person that I could ever be and shit talked about the person I became’.
That might be true, but my obsession with the FGA World Championship was obviously more real than the summer fling you had with your candy eye title. Here we are, with my shoe on the other foot, and you know what’s going to change from the first time around when we faced off?
Not a fucking thing.
You’re going to step in that ring with me and you’re going to see, once again, why I’m at the platform I stand on, and why I look down to you from my place in the sky. You’ll see the miles of talent that’s between you and me. You’ll look up from your lily pad, in the pond of fish just like you, and think that one day all your hard work will get you to where I’m standing.
And I’ll be the first one to tell you that hard work doesn’t get you anywhere, especially in this godforsaken company. Talent does. The person that steps into that ring and walks out of the winner will always be better than the person who spends hours in the weight room thinking that if they keep that shit up they’ll get their chance to stand on top of the world when their time comes.
You see all the hard work I’ve pulled off to get this FGA World Championship? Yeah, the climb here means not a goddamn thing to this place. All the golden matches that I’ve put on in the main event doesn’t fucking matter. All the people I’ve slaughtered that have stood in my way are pampered into thinking that they can be the next ZERO MCHANNON if they put their mind to it.
FGA brings down the prestige of their own title by their own fucking will. Not me. If they want to make it seem like others can be on the same level as the WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP, then fuck them. This championship deserves better, just like I deserve better.
You know who also gets things that he doesn’t deserve? Or earn? Jimmy Page.
Page knows exactly that he’s just a chew toy for Chandler Scott and that’s why he’s riding that match for something he can’t get on his own… the fame. How many times does Page have to fail before FGA stops thinking that he has actually SUCCEEDED at something? He loses to Fujiko Mine and then gets shuffled into the mix for a Co-Main event match? Bullshit. I can’t even tell you the last time Page has done something that has actually impressed me in the ring.
But hey, making a career out of the ring and not what you do in the matches has become the theme for this prom. Page can taunt, provoke, and get his ass kicked all at the same time to still be rewarded in the end for all of it... While some of us have actually stepped into that ring to show why we’re one of the best in this business. Wrestling two matches in one night, and winning, to get our chance at an FGA World Championship shot.
And some of us capitalized with our chance, not just piss it away without trying to give it our all. Some of us don’t have to come out as the winner of the Gold Rush Rumble to get our big break. Our actions outside of the matches defines how great we are…
THE FGA WAY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!
Fuck the people who have won their title with vigor and determination to BE THE BEST! Fuck all of us who didn’t suffer an injury to come back to the fans missing what we’ve actually pulled off INSIDE THE RING! Fuck those of us who don’t go on losing streaks and still get our asses wiped down and pampered!
How many times do I have to put people like Izzy Anders and Jimmy Page in their place before you see that deserve everything I’ve got, not just have it handed to me because it’s Dom Harter or Chandler Scott standing on the other side of the ring.
Never, because it’s not going to happen as long as it’s not Chandler Scott standing on the top of the mountain.
Because people like Page don’t care about what they can do in the ring, because he knows at the end of the day that he’s going to get special treatment. Why would he care if he can beat Fujiko Mine? Why would he care that he doesn’t finish a match against Annie Dupree? Because failing over and over again will get exactly what he wants at the end of the day. A man who cares about winning against a man who doesn’t.
I’ll take my fucking win and run with it, not roll around in my own shit and hope for the best. At Vertigo, I’m going to do exactly that again. I’ve dusted off the ring rust from when I’ve first started, and we’ve all seen what happens when I don’t have that rust on me… I hit my prime. I hit my stride. Something that Page has yet to even touch on his best day. He keeps saying I’ve dragged down this company and I’m a vile piece of shit that he has seen through since day one that I’ve walked into this business.
You know what he didn’t see, though? He didn’t see me walking over his ass like he’s a welcome mat and taking his place as one of the best wrestlers in FGA. He didn’t see me building the gap between me and the rest of the talent on this roster while people like Page are playing ‘catch up’ with the world champion. He didn’t see me beating him and making him a fucking nothing until Chandler came back around to build the man back up to be a threat.
This is going to be an embarrassing match… for both Izzy and Page. I wonder how you come back from losing a handicap match against one man who is better than the two of you combined. No worries, I’m sure FGA will find a way to give them something they haven’t earned for their hard efforts of getting their asses handed to them by the only man on this roster who fucking matters.
THE FGA WORLD CHAMPION! The man who has been carrying this company on his back while Izzy and Page have had to watch with resentment that a guy like me will ALWAYS be the better athlete. The man who has beat them both one on one and looks at this as an opportunity to plant them on their asses one versus two, because at the end of the match I know I can get perfectly along with myself, but those two are going to always struggle to get on the same page.
Hope you guys are real familiar with the way it felt last time I put you in your places… Hope you remember what the bottom of my chin looks like when I laid you the fuck out and you’re looking up at the man holding the grandest prize that FGA can offer. I’ve heard that Florence, North Carolina has some nice bars you can visit afterwards to drink your shame away. You can get shit faced and get used to looking up to the ceiling while having the spins, because after a match with me, that’s all you’re going to see. I’m sure there’s plenty of places you’ll be able to hide your faces at All Star Showdown until you’re name is called for you match, in hopes that people forget that I treated you like rag dolls on this episode of Vertigo.
You see this gold I have around my shoulder? Get use to looking at it there, because for as long as I’m holding it you two will be nothing more than a placeholder for me. You’ll forever be known as the warm ups I have to go through from time to time before heading into the pay per view that won’t feature your name as contenders for the FGA World Championship. It’s like getting a participation trophy for showing up. It’s like getting a ribbon at the Special Olympics.
As if you didn’t have enough rewards given to you for your piss poor efforts, but you’re getting one more it seems… you get to step into the ring with the man who is taking the FGA World Championship to another limit. The man who has dethroned everyone who has stepped in his way to success. The man who is, point blank, better that you ever will be and has proven that already.
When that screen fades to black after my match the people will see what they’ve seen so many times already… Zero McHannon, pulling another amazing match out of his ass. Zero McHannon putting Izzy Anders on her back. Zero McHannon knocking Jimmy Page back down another notch on his road to being someone again.
Zero McHannon, holding his title over two opponents who just couldn’t cut it. Just like he will at All Star Showdown.
Tuck those chins in, bitches. Prepare yourself the best you can for the Zero-Tolerance. It only hurts for a moment. It will all be over by the time you open your eyes and find yourself conscious again. The embarrassment afterwards, though? That might last a lifetime.
ZEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…. FUCKS… GIVVVVVVEEEEENNNNN!!!
The random pairing of Izzy and Page sounds about like the pairing of Cannon and Carmine. You put two jackasses on the same team and think it works in theory, but in reality? There’s no thought in the chemistry. Page can’t get along with anyone long enough to make himself effective in a tag team match. Only thing Izzy is good at is showing her backside while she walks out of matches instead of standing her ground and fighting.
We all know Izzy wants to be a man in the worst way possible. I mean, just look at her disgusting lesbian tendencies. Just because you walk like a man, open you mouth with the same voice as a man, and thirst over other bitches like some of these men… doesn’t make you a man. You’re just a dyke, wishing you had a dick to swing around. Maybe Izzy should start taking lessons from Tony Carmine on how to act like a real lady.
You know what, though? For the first time in a long time, I’ve actually brought out the wrestler in Izzy, instead of the thirsty lesbian that wants to lick Cordy’s ass so bad that it’s disturbing. We haven’t seen the wrestling side of Izzy since she lost her Mid-Atlantic Legacy Championship. It’s like the thought of being a proper wrestler left her mind when that title did.
And that’s the biggest difference between me and that cootch licking slut.
Her obsession switched from wanting to be one of the greatest Mid-Atlantic Legacy Champions and defining her place in FGA as one of the greatest champions on the program… period, to forgetting about that title almost as quickly as it forgot about her. Her obsession switched to Dom Harter instead. Going at Harter doesn’t cement your legacy in this business. It doesn’t get you a shot at gold, unless your name is Cindy Parker, which was a pathetic decision on part of this fucking company. Surprise there.
It’s almost as if Izzy has fallen off the ledge of this company when she no longer held the title that she was so desperate to define.
Ooooops, I forgot Izzy was sensitive to the truth, my fault. I told Chandler Scott like it was when I took this FGA World Championship, and she was one of the first people to get all butt hurt and in her feelings about the snide remarks that I shaded in her direction. She got sand in her man vagina when I commented on how people could learn a thing from Muhammed Ali.
You’re all over the place, bitch. You can’t walk around like a hoarse voiced badass and get all sensitive when people out wrestle your favorite butt buddies. You got more hurt by what I said about other people than the last time we stepped into that ring and I handed you your own ass. Nice of you to care about other’s careers more than your own, but it’s also the reason you’ll be nothing more than a stepping stone to the top for a lot of people that walk through FGA.
While you were playing grab ass with the other little girls for the Mid-Atlantic Legacy Championship, I was slingshotted to the front of the line to being a contender for the FGA World Championship. Only to have your spot taken by another wannabe crotch licker, Molly Reid. No rematch. Overlooked by this business and you just took it in the ass without a single word to stand up for yourself.
For a chick that wants to be a man so badly, you have no balls.
I can hear Izzy now… ‘Last time we faced you said this-this-and this’. ‘And you said that I let a title change who I was, but look at yourself in the mirror’. ‘You acted like you were a better person that I could ever be and shit talked about the person I became’.
That might be true, but my obsession with the FGA World Championship was obviously more real than the summer fling you had with your candy eye title. Here we are, with my shoe on the other foot, and you know what’s going to change from the first time around when we faced off?
Not a fucking thing.
You’re going to step in that ring with me and you’re going to see, once again, why I’m at the platform I stand on, and why I look down to you from my place in the sky. You’ll see the miles of talent that’s between you and me. You’ll look up from your lily pad, in the pond of fish just like you, and think that one day all your hard work will get you to where I’m standing.
And I’ll be the first one to tell you that hard work doesn’t get you anywhere, especially in this godforsaken company. Talent does. The person that steps into that ring and walks out of the winner will always be better than the person who spends hours in the weight room thinking that if they keep that shit up they’ll get their chance to stand on top of the world when their time comes.
You see all the hard work I’ve pulled off to get this FGA World Championship? Yeah, the climb here means not a goddamn thing to this place. All the golden matches that I’ve put on in the main event doesn’t fucking matter. All the people I’ve slaughtered that have stood in my way are pampered into thinking that they can be the next ZERO MCHANNON if they put their mind to it.
FGA brings down the prestige of their own title by their own fucking will. Not me. If they want to make it seem like others can be on the same level as the WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP, then fuck them. This championship deserves better, just like I deserve better.
You know who also gets things that he doesn’t deserve? Or earn? Jimmy Page.
Page knows exactly that he’s just a chew toy for Chandler Scott and that’s why he’s riding that match for something he can’t get on his own… the fame. How many times does Page have to fail before FGA stops thinking that he has actually SUCCEEDED at something? He loses to Fujiko Mine and then gets shuffled into the mix for a Co-Main event match? Bullshit. I can’t even tell you the last time Page has done something that has actually impressed me in the ring.
But hey, making a career out of the ring and not what you do in the matches has become the theme for this prom. Page can taunt, provoke, and get his ass kicked all at the same time to still be rewarded in the end for all of it... While some of us have actually stepped into that ring to show why we’re one of the best in this business. Wrestling two matches in one night, and winning, to get our chance at an FGA World Championship shot.
And some of us capitalized with our chance, not just piss it away without trying to give it our all. Some of us don’t have to come out as the winner of the Gold Rush Rumble to get our big break. Our actions outside of the matches defines how great we are…
THE FGA WAY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!
Fuck the people who have won their title with vigor and determination to BE THE BEST! Fuck all of us who didn’t suffer an injury to come back to the fans missing what we’ve actually pulled off INSIDE THE RING! Fuck those of us who don’t go on losing streaks and still get our asses wiped down and pampered!
How many times do I have to put people like Izzy Anders and Jimmy Page in their place before you see that deserve everything I’ve got, not just have it handed to me because it’s Dom Harter or Chandler Scott standing on the other side of the ring.
Never, because it’s not going to happen as long as it’s not Chandler Scott standing on the top of the mountain.
Because people like Page don’t care about what they can do in the ring, because he knows at the end of the day that he’s going to get special treatment. Why would he care if he can beat Fujiko Mine? Why would he care that he doesn’t finish a match against Annie Dupree? Because failing over and over again will get exactly what he wants at the end of the day. A man who cares about winning against a man who doesn’t.
I’ll take my fucking win and run with it, not roll around in my own shit and hope for the best. At Vertigo, I’m going to do exactly that again. I’ve dusted off the ring rust from when I’ve first started, and we’ve all seen what happens when I don’t have that rust on me… I hit my prime. I hit my stride. Something that Page has yet to even touch on his best day. He keeps saying I’ve dragged down this company and I’m a vile piece of shit that he has seen through since day one that I’ve walked into this business.
You know what he didn’t see, though? He didn’t see me walking over his ass like he’s a welcome mat and taking his place as one of the best wrestlers in FGA. He didn’t see me building the gap between me and the rest of the talent on this roster while people like Page are playing ‘catch up’ with the world champion. He didn’t see me beating him and making him a fucking nothing until Chandler came back around to build the man back up to be a threat.
This is going to be an embarrassing match… for both Izzy and Page. I wonder how you come back from losing a handicap match against one man who is better than the two of you combined. No worries, I’m sure FGA will find a way to give them something they haven’t earned for their hard efforts of getting their asses handed to them by the only man on this roster who fucking matters.
THE FGA WORLD CHAMPION! The man who has been carrying this company on his back while Izzy and Page have had to watch with resentment that a guy like me will ALWAYS be the better athlete. The man who has beat them both one on one and looks at this as an opportunity to plant them on their asses one versus two, because at the end of the match I know I can get perfectly along with myself, but those two are going to always struggle to get on the same page.
Hope you guys are real familiar with the way it felt last time I put you in your places… Hope you remember what the bottom of my chin looks like when I laid you the fuck out and you’re looking up at the man holding the grandest prize that FGA can offer. I’ve heard that Florence, North Carolina has some nice bars you can visit afterwards to drink your shame away. You can get shit faced and get used to looking up to the ceiling while having the spins, because after a match with me, that’s all you’re going to see. I’m sure there’s plenty of places you’ll be able to hide your faces at All Star Showdown until you’re name is called for you match, in hopes that people forget that I treated you like rag dolls on this episode of Vertigo.
You see this gold I have around my shoulder? Get use to looking at it there, because for as long as I’m holding it you two will be nothing more than a placeholder for me. You’ll forever be known as the warm ups I have to go through from time to time before heading into the pay per view that won’t feature your name as contenders for the FGA World Championship. It’s like getting a participation trophy for showing up. It’s like getting a ribbon at the Special Olympics.
As if you didn’t have enough rewards given to you for your piss poor efforts, but you’re getting one more it seems… you get to step into the ring with the man who is taking the FGA World Championship to another limit. The man who has dethroned everyone who has stepped in his way to success. The man who is, point blank, better that you ever will be and has proven that already.
When that screen fades to black after my match the people will see what they’ve seen so many times already… Zero McHannon, pulling another amazing match out of his ass. Zero McHannon putting Izzy Anders on her back. Zero McHannon knocking Jimmy Page back down another notch on his road to being someone again.
Zero McHannon, holding his title over two opponents who just couldn’t cut it. Just like he will at All Star Showdown.
Tuck those chins in, bitches. Prepare yourself the best you can for the Zero-Tolerance. It only hurts for a moment. It will all be over by the time you open your eyes and find yourself conscious again. The embarrassment afterwards, though? That might last a lifetime.
ZEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…. FUCKS… GIVVVVVVEEEEENNNNN!!!
