Training Session (Justice Riot)
Apr 28, 2016 18:53:34 GMT -5
Post by Dragon on Apr 28, 2016 18:53:34 GMT -5
The video starts off very professionally.
It shows a wall.
Two voices can be heard talking, as the camera shakes in someone’s hand as they try to get it set up on a tripod correctly.
Woman: Is this really necessary?
Her tone is incredibly annoyed.
Man: ‘Course! Have I led you astray yet?
His tone is amused, voice with a british accent.
Woman: Depends on how you count astray...what is this suppose to help?
Man: Ah-ah-ah! Once you’ve finished it’ll be obvious how it helped.
The woman starts to respond, but the man lets out a triumphant laugh.
Man: Got it!
And then the camera swivels around, the feed now completely filled with the face of Wulf Erikssen, multiple time tag champion, legend, and allegedly a trainer.
Wulf Erikssen: Oi oi, FGA, how goes it! Welcome to one of the rooms in my amazing Hawaii home, where I spend my days drinking booze out of coconuts and...well, putting booze into coconuts so I can drink them, really. And with me, ‘course, is…
He steps away from the camera, allowing it to take the room in. And to see the source of the other voice, Jolyne Dysart.
Who is upside down.
She is doing a headstand, forearms next to her head to help with balance, as she tries to keep herself in the air. She huffs in annoyance.
Jolyne Dysart: Yes, hello, you’ll have to excuse me, I’m apparently doing training.
Wulf Erikssen: You are.
Jolyne sighs.
Jolyne Dysart: Sure…
Wulf Erikssen: FGA, I figured since we’ve got this Dynamic Duos thing, I should introduce us in the best way. By showing you some of Jo’s training!
Jolyne Dysart: Yaaaaay…..
Wulf Erikssen: Oi, come on, this’ll give you a great new skill.
Jolyne Dysart: Really?
Wulf nods, and Jolyne sighs again.
Jolyne Dysart: Fine...if it’ll give me something…
Wulf Erikssen: Great! Now, for the second component of the training!
Jolyne Dysart: What.
Jolyne clearly has no idea what’s going on, which is obviously a recurring thing with the two, as Wulf just smiles.
Wulf Erikssen: Well, since you keep wanting to insult great fighting games…
Jolyne Dysart: Oh my God are you still making a thing of that?
Wulf grins. Jolyne looks confused, until he turns his back to her. With a quick turn of his head he looks back at her.
Wulf Erikssen: OF COURSE!
Jolyne Dysart: ...I walked into that and I’m so angry.
Wulf Erikssen: That’s what this training is for!
Jolyne Dysart: ...great. So what am I doing? Besides letting all the blood rush into my head.
Wulf Erikssen: You. Are going to tell me everything I need to know about all our possible opponents, by comparing them to the most popular fighting game.
Jolyne looks confused.
Jolyne Dysart: I’m comparing them all to Mortal Kombat characters?
Wulf frowns.
Wulf Erikssen: You know that’s not what I mean.
Jolyne Dysart: Well, if you’re comparing MKX and Street Fighter V’s sales…
Wulf Erikssen: Sales? Sales aren’t everything!
Jolyne Dysart: Sure, sales aren’t everything. That’s why Darkstalkers is still going, right?
Wulf responds by reaching a hand out and pushing Jolyne’s foot, sending her falling backwards onto her butt.
Jolyne Dysart: Fine. Street Fighter headstand comparisons. Whatever. Let’s get this over with...
Wulf pulls out a lavish piece of paper that he has scrawled the names of the teams on. Jolyne rolls her eyes, as she gets back into position.
Wulf Erikssen: Right, first team. Ryan Chandelier-
Jolyne Dysart: LeCavalier.
Wulf Erikssen: Gesundheit.
A brief moment of silence, as Jolyne resists the urge.
Jolyne Dysart: ...yes. Well, I tried to do research, and all it did was made me more confused about her..him...whichever. They’re weird and that’s the best I’ve got. So, they’d be Necro, because no one has any idea what the fuck they are.
Wulf Erikssen: Well that’s real helpful. What about the Darkstalkers lady?
Jolyne Dysart: Dhalsim. There’s...really not anyone else that fits a witch.
Wulf nods.
Wulf Erikssen: So we’ve got to look out for stretching arms and fireballs. Right!
Jolyne Dysart: ...we have to watch out for neither of those things.
Wulf Erikssen: You trying to get burned?
Jolyne Dysart: ...Wulf she’s not actually a witch. Those aren’t real.
Wulf Erikssen: Nonsense! You keep your eyes open, we can’t be losing to magic.
Jolyne bites her lip to keep herself from shouting.
Jolyne Dysart: Just...just move on. Next is our “favorite”, right?
Wulf Erikssen: Wot, Ruby and Kev?
Jolyne Dysart: ...sarcasm. I was using sarcasm.
Wulf Erikssen: Oh, them. Yeah, sure, do them. Aries.
Jolyne rolls her eyes.
Jolyne Dysart: Oh you mean an extremely arrogant and loudmouthed athlete with low intellect? Balrog, obviously. The one of his team no one cares about.
Wulf nods.
Wulf Erikssen: Good, good young padahopper. But what about-
Jolyne Dysart: GRENDEL’s Blanka.
Wulf Erikssen: ...howzzat?
Jolyne Dysart: He’s a big scary looking monsterman but eventually you realize that he’s just a manchild running around grunting real loud and scaring people who don’t know any better. Also they both look fucking stupid.
Wulf Erikssen: Right, well that’s points deducted.
Jolyne Dysart: How?!
She looks ready to continue to shout, the only thing saving Wulf from having to hear it is giving an outburst like that causes Jo to lose her balance, falling over onto her face with a curse. She, once again, pushes back up onto her head and forearms.
Jolyne Dysart: How did I lose points on that.
Another pause.
Jolyne Dysart: Wait since when are there even points?!
Wulf Erikssen: Since now! Got to stay on your toes, grasswan, or you’ll be taken by surprise! Now, onto the next team.
Beyond a small grumble, Jolyne does not argue it.
Jolyne Dysart: Fine. Cordelia and Herrera. The two stalwarts, the veterans that have been around the block and have the most experience, the standard. They’re Ryu and Ken, obviously. Just if Ken said “bro” a lot more.
Wulf Erikssen: So we just gotta wait for them to get into a fight among mates, sounds good. What about Las’ wacky sister and her friend?
Jolyne rolls her eyes.
Jolyne Dysart: A crazy woman with fucked up goals and a penchant for deeply disturbed violence? She’s Juri, duh.
Wulf Erikssen: So we should jab her in the eye then.
Jolyne Dysart: ...a pretty good idea, actually...as for the other one, she can be Rose.
Wulf Erikssen: There a reason for that, or you just trying to lose points?
Jolyne groans.
Jolyne Dysart: There’s only so many women in the franchise, and only so many of them are weirdoes, alright? You wanna complain, then do your OWN comparisons!
Wulf Erikssen: Nah, got too many coconuts to put booze into.
Jolyne Dysart: ...fuck your coconuts.
Wulf Erikssen: OI! That’s fifty points off!
Jolyne Dysart: Fifty?! That’s bullshi-
And her outburst causes her balance to go, and she falls onto her behind.
Wulf Erikssen: See, you insulted the coconuts, and the universe punished that.
Jolyne just mumbles under her breath as she gets back into position.
Wulf Erikssen: Right, next is Mariani and Mason.
Jolyne Dysart: ...I’m surprised you didn’t say her name was Martini.
Wulf Erikssen: Wot? Why would I say that, her name’s Mariani, do you need to get your ears cleaned?
Jolyne closes her eyes, taking a deep breath before opening them again.
Jolyne Dysart: They’re both good girls gone bad, apparently. So they can just both be Decapre. They’re Dolls.
Wulf Erikssen: Right then, next is Evans-
Jolyne Dysart: Easy. First thing I saw when I started to research was he spent time in jail. So he’s Cody. Done.
Wulf Erikssen: Well he’ll be in for a surprise if he tries to use those chains on us.
Jolyne starts to point out that he won’t actually have chains like Cody, but just sighs.
Jolyne Dysart: Yeah. Totally. As for his partner, his name is Envi so I just kinda assumed he’s envious, so...Urien, I guess.
Wulf Erikssen: How much research did you do?
Jolyne Dysart: Iunno, my head’s feeling light at this point, so…
Wulf Erikssen: Ahhh, nothing to worry about. Next, Lady who’s been a pain in the arse for Ruby!
Jolyne Dysart: A musician that transitions into fighting. She’s Deejay. That was easy.
Wulf Erikssen: And her partner?
Jolyne Dysart: Her meatshield? Uh, Sodom, I guess.
Wulf nods.
Wulf Erikssen: Team Nox Sports Team.
Jolyne Dysart: ...Really prideful foreign guy who calls himself a hitman? Vega, obviously. And his partner, well...started doing research, and BDSM just jumped out so...Poison.
Wulf Erikssen: Were you looking at that porn around Captain Bear? He’s too delicate to be seeing that.
Jolyne Dysart: I didn’t open any of it, so no he-
Jolyne pauses, realizing she just referred to the stuffed bear carried around by Wulf’s old tag partner as a “he” and not an “it”.
Jolyne Dysart: It’s a stuffed bear, it can’t SEE anything!
Wulf Erikssen: That just means he’s got ya fooled. Good ol’ Captain Bear.
Jolyne Dysart: ...can we just move on.
Wulf Erikssen: Fine. There’s a mystery team.
Jolyne Dysart: Hakan. I don’t have a reason. A giant man covered in oil will probably be better than whatever it actually is.
Wulf nods.
Wulf Erikssen: Come to think of it, I don’t know if I’ve ever met a Turkish wrestler. Strange.
Jolyne Dysart: ...that has nothing to do with anything, but ok. Who now?
Wulf Erikssen: Why our mates! Ruby and Kev.
Jolyne Dysart: Oh, them, that was the easiest, they’re Bison and Cammy.
Wulf looks uncertain.
Wulf Erikssen: I dunno if I can see Ruby wearing that costume. Or Kev with a cape.
Jolyne Dysart: What are you talking abou-
She suddenly laughs.
Jolyne Dysart: Oh! No, no, no you got it wrong. I mean KEVIN is Cammy, and Ruby is Bison.
Wulf Erikssen: Oh, enlighten me.
Jolyne Dysart: Well, Cammy’s a clone of Bison, who’s never able to actually beat Bison when it matters, right? Ruby’s always had Kevin’s number, and can always beat out his violence.
A pause.
Jolyne Dysart: Plus I’d totally buy that Ruby taps into Psycho Power.
Wulf considers this, before nodding.
Wulf Erikssen: 49 points.
Jolyne grins, briefly, before suddenly it fades into confusion.
Jolyne Dysart: Wait, why the uneven number?
Wulf looks like the answer is obvious.
Wulf Erikssen: Still have to punish you for insulting the coconuts.
Jolyne Dysart: ….
Wulf Erikssen: So, that leaves the team we be facing, and us.
Jolyne Dysart: Right...Shouta is Seth. A boss that’s nothing but a stepping stone to the actual boss of their group. And A-P is Sean. Young, super eager to become something, and completely expendable.
Wulf Erikssen: And now for us.
Jolyne rolls her eyes.
Jolyne Dysart: Karin and Dan.
Wulf raises an eyebrow.
Wulf Erikssen: Dunno how you’d look in a pink gi, Jo.
Jolyne blinks a few times, understands, then begins to glare at him.
Jolyne Dysart: ...I did the thing, can I stop doing this headstand now?
Wulf Erikssen: Nah!
Glaring intensifies.
Jolyne Dysart: Why.
Wulf Erikssen: Got to talk about this match we’ve got! Once I’m done, then you can stop.
Jolyne Dysart: ...fine. Just hurry up. I’m getting really tired.
Wulf Erikssen: Yeah, yeah. Right then, so! Dynamic Duos, first round! Be Justice Riot vs. Project Continuum. And, honestly, I’m quite pleased with that. Really nothing like busting the heads of a couple tossers who think they can just do whatever they want in wrestling. Look, I know the bit real well. Young kids coming up, getting a chip on their shoulder real quick because they think they’re the bloody best thing to walk through the doors in years, and the accolades never come fast enough. They start complaining, and they start using it as an excuse to talk trash and do whatever they want to people, knock them around and beat ‘em. I keep up enough with what’s going on, I’ve seen you lot. Running over everything like there ain’t a law to stop you. Well, you know what?
He points a thumb at himself.
Wulf Erikssen: These last few years, I’ve made myself into the law. When no one else will step up, I do. All the punks and abusers trying to do whatever they please, I smash them. There ain’t a worse draw for those two than us, because beating people like them is what I’m bloody good at. And it’s what I trained her in.
Jolyne Dysart: Major in violence-based justice with a minor in unnecessary headstands.
Wulf Erikssen: Completely necessary.
Jolyne Dysart: Yeah, yeah...
And without a beat missed Wulf returns to what he was doing.
Wulf Erikssen: Look, going into this tournament, I know we’re not the favorites, I’m sure we’re gonna get lumped in with some imaginary ExPro invasion, and we’re starting off against some arseholes who’ve been allowed to run roughshod over another promotion. Some people aren’t gonna believe in our chances. And there’s nothing we’d want more. When the chips are down, and people are disbelieving, that’s when me and Jo are at our best. Especially her, she can’t stand the idea of anyone thinking she could lose. That’ll push her, and it’s gonna push me too because I can’t let her leave me in the dust like she might. So come on, Continuum, bring all you’ve got. We’re not gonna bend over and be walked over like people in HKW. Because here’s the thing.
He leans in a bit to look into the camera.
Wulf Erikssen: I’m a man of the people. Made a point of it, to pay the people who supported me by supporting them back. Last time I had a belt, I had every fan I met sign it, because I wouldn’t have been where I was without them. And I still try to support them. And you know what? I bet they’re real sick of you lot and your shite. They’ve been waiting for a day to see you lot get a proper knocking around, by two people who aren’t afraid of you and who have plenty of experience in smashing apart the people trying to fuck wrestling up.
He grins, as he makes a motion with his hand, Jolyne dropping from her headstand and walking to him as he continues to speak.
Wulf Erikssen: And like I said, I’m a man of the people. So me and Jo, we’ll give the people what they want. So tune in to Vertigo, everyone! Justice Riot vs. Project Continuum. It’s-
He’s stopped by a hand on his shoulder, as Jolyne leans in to look at the camera, a smile on her face.
Jolyne Dysart: It’s gonna be a riot.
For a moment Wulf’s face blanks at Jolyne’s appropriating of his catchphrase, before a grin breaks onto his face.
Wulf Erikssen: She’s god damn right it will be.
And at that, the two break away, having finished what they meant to do. Jolyne starts to walk to the camera to turn it off, before pausing as she remembers her earlier training.
Jolyne Dysart: Oh, so can you tell me now what part of wrestling this training is gonna help me in?
Wulf Erikssen: The wot now?
Jolyne Dysart: ...the headstand, Wulf. What does it have to do with wrestling training?
Wulf Erikssen: Oh! Well, y’see...
He grins.
Wulf Erikssen: Now you can do a headstand!
Jolyne stares at him.
Wulf Erikssen: Ain’t that great?
Jolyne clenches her teeth, both hands balling too tightly into fists, face turning red.
And then the explosion.
Jolyne Dysart: WULF I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD DAMN IT YOU ABSOLUTE-
The audio turns to bleeps, as a drawing of a shushing finger appears over Jolyne’s mouth. Wulf watches on, smiling, as the video fades off…
This will end fine.
(word count: 2632)
It shows a wall.
Two voices can be heard talking, as the camera shakes in someone’s hand as they try to get it set up on a tripod correctly.
Woman: Is this really necessary?
Her tone is incredibly annoyed.
Man: ‘Course! Have I led you astray yet?
His tone is amused, voice with a british accent.
Woman: Depends on how you count astray...what is this suppose to help?
Man: Ah-ah-ah! Once you’ve finished it’ll be obvious how it helped.
The woman starts to respond, but the man lets out a triumphant laugh.
Man: Got it!
And then the camera swivels around, the feed now completely filled with the face of Wulf Erikssen, multiple time tag champion, legend, and allegedly a trainer.
Wulf Erikssen: Oi oi, FGA, how goes it! Welcome to one of the rooms in my amazing Hawaii home, where I spend my days drinking booze out of coconuts and...well, putting booze into coconuts so I can drink them, really. And with me, ‘course, is…
He steps away from the camera, allowing it to take the room in. And to see the source of the other voice, Jolyne Dysart.
Who is upside down.
She is doing a headstand, forearms next to her head to help with balance, as she tries to keep herself in the air. She huffs in annoyance.
Jolyne Dysart: Yes, hello, you’ll have to excuse me, I’m apparently doing training.
Wulf Erikssen: You are.
Jolyne sighs.
Jolyne Dysart: Sure…
Wulf Erikssen: FGA, I figured since we’ve got this Dynamic Duos thing, I should introduce us in the best way. By showing you some of Jo’s training!
Jolyne Dysart: Yaaaaay…..
Wulf Erikssen: Oi, come on, this’ll give you a great new skill.
Jolyne Dysart: Really?
Wulf nods, and Jolyne sighs again.
Jolyne Dysart: Fine...if it’ll give me something…
Wulf Erikssen: Great! Now, for the second component of the training!
Jolyne Dysart: What.
Jolyne clearly has no idea what’s going on, which is obviously a recurring thing with the two, as Wulf just smiles.
Wulf Erikssen: Well, since you keep wanting to insult great fighting games…
Jolyne Dysart: Oh my God are you still making a thing of that?
Wulf grins. Jolyne looks confused, until he turns his back to her. With a quick turn of his head he looks back at her.
Wulf Erikssen: OF COURSE!
Jolyne Dysart: ...I walked into that and I’m so angry.
Wulf Erikssen: That’s what this training is for!
Jolyne Dysart: ...great. So what am I doing? Besides letting all the blood rush into my head.
Wulf Erikssen: You. Are going to tell me everything I need to know about all our possible opponents, by comparing them to the most popular fighting game.
Jolyne looks confused.
Jolyne Dysart: I’m comparing them all to Mortal Kombat characters?
Wulf frowns.
Wulf Erikssen: You know that’s not what I mean.
Jolyne Dysart: Well, if you’re comparing MKX and Street Fighter V’s sales…
Wulf Erikssen: Sales? Sales aren’t everything!
Jolyne Dysart: Sure, sales aren’t everything. That’s why Darkstalkers is still going, right?
Wulf responds by reaching a hand out and pushing Jolyne’s foot, sending her falling backwards onto her butt.
Jolyne Dysart: Fine. Street Fighter headstand comparisons. Whatever. Let’s get this over with...
Wulf pulls out a lavish piece of paper that he has scrawled the names of the teams on. Jolyne rolls her eyes, as she gets back into position.
Wulf Erikssen: Right, first team. Ryan Chandelier-
Jolyne Dysart: LeCavalier.
Wulf Erikssen: Gesundheit.
A brief moment of silence, as Jolyne resists the urge.
Jolyne Dysart: ...yes. Well, I tried to do research, and all it did was made me more confused about her..him...whichever. They’re weird and that’s the best I’ve got. So, they’d be Necro, because no one has any idea what the fuck they are.
Wulf Erikssen: Well that’s real helpful. What about the Darkstalkers lady?
Jolyne Dysart: Dhalsim. There’s...really not anyone else that fits a witch.
Wulf nods.
Wulf Erikssen: So we’ve got to look out for stretching arms and fireballs. Right!
Jolyne Dysart: ...we have to watch out for neither of those things.
Wulf Erikssen: You trying to get burned?
Jolyne Dysart: ...Wulf she’s not actually a witch. Those aren’t real.
Wulf Erikssen: Nonsense! You keep your eyes open, we can’t be losing to magic.
Jolyne bites her lip to keep herself from shouting.
Jolyne Dysart: Just...just move on. Next is our “favorite”, right?
Wulf Erikssen: Wot, Ruby and Kev?
Jolyne Dysart: ...sarcasm. I was using sarcasm.
Wulf Erikssen: Oh, them. Yeah, sure, do them. Aries.
Jolyne rolls her eyes.
Jolyne Dysart: Oh you mean an extremely arrogant and loudmouthed athlete with low intellect? Balrog, obviously. The one of his team no one cares about.
Wulf nods.
Wulf Erikssen: Good, good young padahopper. But what about-
Jolyne Dysart: GRENDEL’s Blanka.
Wulf Erikssen: ...howzzat?
Jolyne Dysart: He’s a big scary looking monsterman but eventually you realize that he’s just a manchild running around grunting real loud and scaring people who don’t know any better. Also they both look fucking stupid.
Wulf Erikssen: Right, well that’s points deducted.
Jolyne Dysart: How?!
She looks ready to continue to shout, the only thing saving Wulf from having to hear it is giving an outburst like that causes Jo to lose her balance, falling over onto her face with a curse. She, once again, pushes back up onto her head and forearms.
Jolyne Dysart: How did I lose points on that.
Another pause.
Jolyne Dysart: Wait since when are there even points?!
Wulf Erikssen: Since now! Got to stay on your toes, grasswan, or you’ll be taken by surprise! Now, onto the next team.
Beyond a small grumble, Jolyne does not argue it.
Jolyne Dysart: Fine. Cordelia and Herrera. The two stalwarts, the veterans that have been around the block and have the most experience, the standard. They’re Ryu and Ken, obviously. Just if Ken said “bro” a lot more.
Wulf Erikssen: So we just gotta wait for them to get into a fight among mates, sounds good. What about Las’ wacky sister and her friend?
Jolyne rolls her eyes.
Jolyne Dysart: A crazy woman with fucked up goals and a penchant for deeply disturbed violence? She’s Juri, duh.
Wulf Erikssen: So we should jab her in the eye then.
Jolyne Dysart: ...a pretty good idea, actually...as for the other one, she can be Rose.
Wulf Erikssen: There a reason for that, or you just trying to lose points?
Jolyne groans.
Jolyne Dysart: There’s only so many women in the franchise, and only so many of them are weirdoes, alright? You wanna complain, then do your OWN comparisons!
Wulf Erikssen: Nah, got too many coconuts to put booze into.
Jolyne Dysart: ...fuck your coconuts.
Wulf Erikssen: OI! That’s fifty points off!
Jolyne Dysart: Fifty?! That’s bullshi-
And her outburst causes her balance to go, and she falls onto her behind.
Wulf Erikssen: See, you insulted the coconuts, and the universe punished that.
Jolyne just mumbles under her breath as she gets back into position.
Wulf Erikssen: Right, next is Mariani and Mason.
Jolyne Dysart: ...I’m surprised you didn’t say her name was Martini.
Wulf Erikssen: Wot? Why would I say that, her name’s Mariani, do you need to get your ears cleaned?
Jolyne closes her eyes, taking a deep breath before opening them again.
Jolyne Dysart: They’re both good girls gone bad, apparently. So they can just both be Decapre. They’re Dolls.
Wulf Erikssen: Right then, next is Evans-
Jolyne Dysart: Easy. First thing I saw when I started to research was he spent time in jail. So he’s Cody. Done.
Wulf Erikssen: Well he’ll be in for a surprise if he tries to use those chains on us.
Jolyne starts to point out that he won’t actually have chains like Cody, but just sighs.
Jolyne Dysart: Yeah. Totally. As for his partner, his name is Envi so I just kinda assumed he’s envious, so...Urien, I guess.
Wulf Erikssen: How much research did you do?
Jolyne Dysart: Iunno, my head’s feeling light at this point, so…
Wulf Erikssen: Ahhh, nothing to worry about. Next, Lady who’s been a pain in the arse for Ruby!
Jolyne Dysart: A musician that transitions into fighting. She’s Deejay. That was easy.
Wulf Erikssen: And her partner?
Jolyne Dysart: Her meatshield? Uh, Sodom, I guess.
Wulf nods.
Wulf Erikssen: Team Nox Sports Team.
Jolyne Dysart: ...Really prideful foreign guy who calls himself a hitman? Vega, obviously. And his partner, well...started doing research, and BDSM just jumped out so...Poison.
Wulf Erikssen: Were you looking at that porn around Captain Bear? He’s too delicate to be seeing that.
Jolyne Dysart: I didn’t open any of it, so no he-
Jolyne pauses, realizing she just referred to the stuffed bear carried around by Wulf’s old tag partner as a “he” and not an “it”.
Jolyne Dysart: It’s a stuffed bear, it can’t SEE anything!
Wulf Erikssen: That just means he’s got ya fooled. Good ol’ Captain Bear.
Jolyne Dysart: ...can we just move on.
Wulf Erikssen: Fine. There’s a mystery team.
Jolyne Dysart: Hakan. I don’t have a reason. A giant man covered in oil will probably be better than whatever it actually is.
Wulf nods.
Wulf Erikssen: Come to think of it, I don’t know if I’ve ever met a Turkish wrestler. Strange.
Jolyne Dysart: ...that has nothing to do with anything, but ok. Who now?
Wulf Erikssen: Why our mates! Ruby and Kev.
Jolyne Dysart: Oh, them, that was the easiest, they’re Bison and Cammy.
Wulf looks uncertain.
Wulf Erikssen: I dunno if I can see Ruby wearing that costume. Or Kev with a cape.
Jolyne Dysart: What are you talking abou-
She suddenly laughs.
Jolyne Dysart: Oh! No, no, no you got it wrong. I mean KEVIN is Cammy, and Ruby is Bison.
Wulf Erikssen: Oh, enlighten me.
Jolyne Dysart: Well, Cammy’s a clone of Bison, who’s never able to actually beat Bison when it matters, right? Ruby’s always had Kevin’s number, and can always beat out his violence.
A pause.
Jolyne Dysart: Plus I’d totally buy that Ruby taps into Psycho Power.
Wulf considers this, before nodding.
Wulf Erikssen: 49 points.
Jolyne grins, briefly, before suddenly it fades into confusion.
Jolyne Dysart: Wait, why the uneven number?
Wulf looks like the answer is obvious.
Wulf Erikssen: Still have to punish you for insulting the coconuts.
Jolyne Dysart: ….
Wulf Erikssen: So, that leaves the team we be facing, and us.
Jolyne Dysart: Right...Shouta is Seth. A boss that’s nothing but a stepping stone to the actual boss of their group. And A-P is Sean. Young, super eager to become something, and completely expendable.
Wulf Erikssen: And now for us.
Jolyne rolls her eyes.
Jolyne Dysart: Karin and Dan.
Wulf raises an eyebrow.
Wulf Erikssen: Dunno how you’d look in a pink gi, Jo.
Jolyne blinks a few times, understands, then begins to glare at him.
Jolyne Dysart: ...I did the thing, can I stop doing this headstand now?
Wulf Erikssen: Nah!
Glaring intensifies.
Jolyne Dysart: Why.
Wulf Erikssen: Got to talk about this match we’ve got! Once I’m done, then you can stop.
Jolyne Dysart: ...fine. Just hurry up. I’m getting really tired.
Wulf Erikssen: Yeah, yeah. Right then, so! Dynamic Duos, first round! Be Justice Riot vs. Project Continuum. And, honestly, I’m quite pleased with that. Really nothing like busting the heads of a couple tossers who think they can just do whatever they want in wrestling. Look, I know the bit real well. Young kids coming up, getting a chip on their shoulder real quick because they think they’re the bloody best thing to walk through the doors in years, and the accolades never come fast enough. They start complaining, and they start using it as an excuse to talk trash and do whatever they want to people, knock them around and beat ‘em. I keep up enough with what’s going on, I’ve seen you lot. Running over everything like there ain’t a law to stop you. Well, you know what?
He points a thumb at himself.
Wulf Erikssen: These last few years, I’ve made myself into the law. When no one else will step up, I do. All the punks and abusers trying to do whatever they please, I smash them. There ain’t a worse draw for those two than us, because beating people like them is what I’m bloody good at. And it’s what I trained her in.
Jolyne Dysart: Major in violence-based justice with a minor in unnecessary headstands.
Wulf Erikssen: Completely necessary.
Jolyne Dysart: Yeah, yeah...
And without a beat missed Wulf returns to what he was doing.
Wulf Erikssen: Look, going into this tournament, I know we’re not the favorites, I’m sure we’re gonna get lumped in with some imaginary ExPro invasion, and we’re starting off against some arseholes who’ve been allowed to run roughshod over another promotion. Some people aren’t gonna believe in our chances. And there’s nothing we’d want more. When the chips are down, and people are disbelieving, that’s when me and Jo are at our best. Especially her, she can’t stand the idea of anyone thinking she could lose. That’ll push her, and it’s gonna push me too because I can’t let her leave me in the dust like she might. So come on, Continuum, bring all you’ve got. We’re not gonna bend over and be walked over like people in HKW. Because here’s the thing.
He leans in a bit to look into the camera.
Wulf Erikssen: I’m a man of the people. Made a point of it, to pay the people who supported me by supporting them back. Last time I had a belt, I had every fan I met sign it, because I wouldn’t have been where I was without them. And I still try to support them. And you know what? I bet they’re real sick of you lot and your shite. They’ve been waiting for a day to see you lot get a proper knocking around, by two people who aren’t afraid of you and who have plenty of experience in smashing apart the people trying to fuck wrestling up.
He grins, as he makes a motion with his hand, Jolyne dropping from her headstand and walking to him as he continues to speak.
Wulf Erikssen: And like I said, I’m a man of the people. So me and Jo, we’ll give the people what they want. So tune in to Vertigo, everyone! Justice Riot vs. Project Continuum. It’s-
He’s stopped by a hand on his shoulder, as Jolyne leans in to look at the camera, a smile on her face.
Jolyne Dysart: It’s gonna be a riot.
For a moment Wulf’s face blanks at Jolyne’s appropriating of his catchphrase, before a grin breaks onto his face.
Wulf Erikssen: She’s god damn right it will be.
And at that, the two break away, having finished what they meant to do. Jolyne starts to walk to the camera to turn it off, before pausing as she remembers her earlier training.
Jolyne Dysart: Oh, so can you tell me now what part of wrestling this training is gonna help me in?
Wulf Erikssen: The wot now?
Jolyne Dysart: ...the headstand, Wulf. What does it have to do with wrestling training?
Wulf Erikssen: Oh! Well, y’see...
He grins.
Wulf Erikssen: Now you can do a headstand!
Jolyne stares at him.
Wulf Erikssen: Ain’t that great?
Jolyne clenches her teeth, both hands balling too tightly into fists, face turning red.
And then the explosion.
Jolyne Dysart: WULF I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD DAMN IT YOU ABSOLUTE-
The audio turns to bleeps, as a drawing of a shushing finger appears over Jolyne’s mouth. Wulf watches on, smiling, as the video fades off…
This will end fine.
(word count: 2632)