0020.MP4 - "Wandering Back" [Gold Rush Rumble]
Apr 14, 2016 19:43:32 GMT -5
Post by Izzy Anders on Apr 14, 2016 19:43:32 GMT -5
Dear Journal,
I hate myself for picking you up again. If you had actual emotions and the capacity for hatred, you’d hate me too. But I’m the only one who knows you. You’re the only person that knows me. Well, at least now, anyways.
Here’s an update for you. In the past while that I hadn’t seen you, the world has turned against me. You remember how the fans used to cheer me? You remember the chants? I do; I remember when they used to love me. Well, I shouldn’t lie. The fans never really loved me. You know how I used to say that people were fickle? I’m still right!
Here’s another. People can’t deal with the fact that I’m a winner now. I guess when people see some new person succeed, they get scared. They want everyone in the world to take me out. Salem Cartier was a recent one. That made me laugh. She fought Jimmy Page to a draw, oh ho ho, she gets a title shot. Out of my face with that. You just want some HKW darling to win what’s mine.
Savannah Taylor? EXODUS Pro World Champion got beat by me too. Does that mean I’m better than everyone in EXODUS now?
In any regard, I make history now. It doesn’t matter what anyone says. I’m becoming the best damn wrestler in FGA history, unseating Chris Q and Chandler Scott. If I win the Gold Rush Rumble, I can start on that. Cyncity and her whole first female World Champion can shove it. Because really, when FGA dies, people will search the history. They’ll see those beautiful moments, but they’ll then see the record book.
Longest reigning Mid-Atlantic Legacy Champion? Izzy Anders.
Champion with the most defenses? Izzy Anders.
Longest reigning champion? Izzy Anders.
First double champion? Izzy Anders.
First Grand Slam? Izzy Anders.
Best damn competitor in FGA's history? IZZY FUCKING ANDERS!
The history books tell the story of who was dominant.
Oh, yeah, here’s a final update.
My mother is dead. Yup, that’s right. The person who bought you is dead. So excuse me if I had the urge to come crawling back to you. I burned all the pictures of her. I destroyed all traces of her in my home, because I was past the abuse. Now that I’m grieving, I came back to you. I hate myself for it, though.
Why have I come back to you? I should have burned you in the fire just like I did the pictures. You have no purpose to me...right? You were a crutch, but I got rid of you. But now you’re back...in my hands...where you belong. I knew I should have gotten rid of you completely. But I know that I’m a coward. I know that I’m scared of leaving the best things behind in my life.
You brought me to this, the grand stage. Why shouldn’t I use you to bring me closer to the World Championship? I need you to help me. I need to shove carcasses out of a ring, a lot of them. I need to hear the bell ring and hear that I won the Gold Rush Rumble.
I need it to feel alive again. I will beat Annie Zellor and Savannah Taylor. I have already felt the satisfaction of beating them both. I need more. I ALWAYS NEED MORE, JOURNAL. I need to fill this emptiness with the glory of victory. It’s temporary, but it does the job well.
Glory is my drug and I’m addicted to it. I’m dependant on it. I came back to you because you remind me of all the things I have conquered. I need to tell you that I can do this. I need you to know that I’m a winner. I’m the best damn champion in FGA and I need to continue to prove that. Beating Annie and Savannah won’t prove too much to the fans. I need to move forward. I’ll take everything in the world for myself.
When was it that I became this way? Cold and lacking compassion for my fellow competitor. When did I stop shaking the hands of my opponents and bowing my head in respect? Where did my graciousness go? I’ve stopped seeking out stronger opponents to make myself better. I sit and wait for my next opponent, wishing only to destroy and move on.
When did my fellow wrestlers become faces in a crowd? Blank slates with falsified and empty words escaping them. Where did this hatred come from? This unending hatred for every one of these self-gratifying assholes that are in FGA. When did I start to want to see them broken and bloodied like this? When did I become such a sadist that I laugh at the fan’s discontent with my actions?
I think it’s when I found out my mother off’ed herself. Shoved a shotgun into her mouth and pulled the damn trigger. I think I began to hate when I knew that she did it because I’m a shitty daughter or that she’s a shitty person. I don’t know which one, probably both.
I think you’re my only friend in the world, my leather bound therapist. Well, you and the Mid-Atlantic Legacy Championship.
You're both invited to the damn funeral.
And we'll run away from everything right after.
“Gold Rush Rumble, the event that begins everything anew in my eyes. More than Final Frontier, more than anything. One person will stand among a heap of their vanquished foes as the surefire contender to the FGA World Championship. Another end to a chapter in the book of Frontier Grappling Arts. Whoever wins will start forth a new cycle, standing before a stalwart champion who longs to extend their legacy here.”
Amidst darkness, Izzy’s voice rang out. The soft hum of lights warming up followed her words, before a flash of light blinded the video transmission. In a spotlight, Izzy sat still with the Mid-Atlantic Legacy Championship resting upon her lap. She looked down upon it for a moment, before moving it out and setting it upon the mat. “In the changing of the season, into the season of renewal, I’ll tell everyone this one truth.”
“This rumble will see a winner that no one expects. There are the unknown people, lurking around, waiting to make themselves known once more. There are the people that everyone expects to win. Then they are the people that no one thinks have a chance. I don’t fit into any of those categories. I’m a no one. That’s what everyone defines me as. They look at me and see nothing. Yet, that’s when I sought out the favor of my fellow wrestler, when I forgot that I came into wrestling to save myself.”
Izzy tapped upon the Mid-Atlantic Legacy Championship. “I’m a history maker. I’m the longest reigning Mid-Atlantic Legacy Champion in FGA history by a long shot. I’m the champion who has defended their belt the most. I have broken the title defense record. And soon, I’ll be the longest reigning champion in FGA history. I’ll add a Gold Rush Rumble to my imaginary resume while I’m at it. I say ‘imaginary’ because no one seems to care about Izzy Anders.”
“The fact that I’m a history maker flies over everyone’s heads, because no one wants to face the truth about it. People are so caught up in the ‘superstars’ that they forgot who the most dangerous wrestler in FGA is. I have left death everywhere since I’ve begun my reign. I have killed egos, relationships, and plenty of hopes and dreams during my long reign.”
“I’ll do a lot during this whole event. I might take Zero’s record away from him. I may throw Page out and crush his dreams of being champion again. I break Fujiko’s egocentric mind again. I’ll make sure Prince Wadjethotep retires because I took his mask and I broke his face. It’s dream killing season and everyone’s a fucking target!”
Izzy paused, rubbing her chin a bit. She stood up and walked over to the rope and gave it a gentle tug. “My last performance in this was questionable. I got groped and thrown out with relative ease. I didn’t expect much. I thought I was doomed to start. That was back when I was a sniveling girl with her own ideologies holding her back. But now, I have looked into the abyss and it looked right back at me. Instead of running, I jumped into it. Everyone knows that I’ve changed, but no one knows what has happened recently.”
“I’ve stopped caring.”
“People say that I’m jealous, delusional, or whatever. They always say that I’ve changed from the young girl that everyone could take advantage of. Now that I’ve woken up and want to be shit, people get upset with me. The thing was, I used to scream out for people to care about me. My change was meant to tell them how serious I was as a competitor. I had won the Mid-Atlantic Legacy Championship, a belt that no one cared about since its birth and made it great. No one bothered to recognize that, no one cared at all.”
“Now I’ve stopped being jealous of others or being caught up with the love and attention of my peers,” Izzy got up and walked over to the turnbuckle, she ascended it with her championship and gazed among the crowd. “I’m hungry. I’m a record breaker, a history maker. I don’t have time to sit here in stagnation. Once I become the longest reigning champion, what’s next before me?”
“The answer is Triple Crown and Grand Slam. I need that, not the respect of my enemies. I need the glory and the extra paycheck. I didn’t come to wrestling to warp myself in the love of the fans or the wrestlers. I didn’t come here for that, because I’m no co-dependent on it like all of these miserable sods here. I came here to escape the streets, to make a name for myself, to prove that I’m something worthwhile…to myself.”
“Winning the Gold Rush Rumble will help me accomplish all of these goals. I need the World Championship in order to become Triple Crown, Grand Slam, the first double champion, and finally something more,” Izzy paused, looking up at the light. She had fallen into a trance, a dream that made her smile. She rose her hand up in air, reaching for something.
“Better.”
“I’ve been a victim ever since I came to FGA. Fujiko tried to use me to elevate herself. Dom Harter tried to make a legend off my pain and suffering. Annie Zellor uses me as a scapegoat to be a fucking hero. And everyone else uses my name as a doormat to drag it in the mud. People try so hard to use me and I’ve had it. 27 people will try to use me to get ahead. I’m not going to let them. No, never again.”
Izzy’s eyebrows furrowed in clear rage. “I’m not a victim anymore. I’m the culprit. It’s about time that I used everyone else to get ahead. It’s time for me to be selfish. Because I’m sick and tired of having to sit in the back and wait for the spotlight. While Cyncity and Zero have their soap opera drama, I’ll be waiting in wake to take that championship from either of them.”
“Dark horse. Target. There’s many labels that people have been applying to me since my entrance into the Gold Rush Rumble. I don’t care about them. I’m a pretty bad place right now. I just want everyone out of my sight and out of the ring come Gold Rush Rumble. Because Izzy Anders is coming to win the whole damn thing. And take that World Championship for myself.”
“You all have been rightfully warned to stay the fuck out of my way.”
I hate myself for picking you up again. If you had actual emotions and the capacity for hatred, you’d hate me too. But I’m the only one who knows you. You’re the only person that knows me. Well, at least now, anyways.
Here’s an update for you. In the past while that I hadn’t seen you, the world has turned against me. You remember how the fans used to cheer me? You remember the chants? I do; I remember when they used to love me. Well, I shouldn’t lie. The fans never really loved me. You know how I used to say that people were fickle? I’m still right!
Here’s another. People can’t deal with the fact that I’m a winner now. I guess when people see some new person succeed, they get scared. They want everyone in the world to take me out. Salem Cartier was a recent one. That made me laugh. She fought Jimmy Page to a draw, oh ho ho, she gets a title shot. Out of my face with that. You just want some HKW darling to win what’s mine.
Savannah Taylor? EXODUS Pro World Champion got beat by me too. Does that mean I’m better than everyone in EXODUS now?
In any regard, I make history now. It doesn’t matter what anyone says. I’m becoming the best damn wrestler in FGA history, unseating Chris Q and Chandler Scott. If I win the Gold Rush Rumble, I can start on that. Cyncity and her whole first female World Champion can shove it. Because really, when FGA dies, people will search the history. They’ll see those beautiful moments, but they’ll then see the record book.
Longest reigning Mid-Atlantic Legacy Champion? Izzy Anders.
Champion with the most defenses? Izzy Anders.
Longest reigning champion? Izzy Anders.
First double champion? Izzy Anders.
First Grand Slam? Izzy Anders.
Best damn competitor in FGA's history? IZZY FUCKING ANDERS!
The history books tell the story of who was dominant.
Oh, yeah, here’s a final update.
My mother is dead. Yup, that’s right. The person who bought you is dead. So excuse me if I had the urge to come crawling back to you. I burned all the pictures of her. I destroyed all traces of her in my home, because I was past the abuse. Now that I’m grieving, I came back to you. I hate myself for it, though.
Why have I come back to you? I should have burned you in the fire just like I did the pictures. You have no purpose to me...right? You were a crutch, but I got rid of you. But now you’re back...in my hands...where you belong. I knew I should have gotten rid of you completely. But I know that I’m a coward. I know that I’m scared of leaving the best things behind in my life.
You brought me to this, the grand stage. Why shouldn’t I use you to bring me closer to the World Championship? I need you to help me. I need to shove carcasses out of a ring, a lot of them. I need to hear the bell ring and hear that I won the Gold Rush Rumble.
I need it to feel alive again. I will beat Annie Zellor and Savannah Taylor. I have already felt the satisfaction of beating them both. I need more. I ALWAYS NEED MORE, JOURNAL. I need to fill this emptiness with the glory of victory. It’s temporary, but it does the job well.
Glory is my drug and I’m addicted to it. I’m dependant on it. I came back to you because you remind me of all the things I have conquered. I need to tell you that I can do this. I need you to know that I’m a winner. I’m the best damn champion in FGA and I need to continue to prove that. Beating Annie and Savannah won’t prove too much to the fans. I need to move forward. I’ll take everything in the world for myself.
When was it that I became this way? Cold and lacking compassion for my fellow competitor. When did I stop shaking the hands of my opponents and bowing my head in respect? Where did my graciousness go? I’ve stopped seeking out stronger opponents to make myself better. I sit and wait for my next opponent, wishing only to destroy and move on.
When did my fellow wrestlers become faces in a crowd? Blank slates with falsified and empty words escaping them. Where did this hatred come from? This unending hatred for every one of these self-gratifying assholes that are in FGA. When did I start to want to see them broken and bloodied like this? When did I become such a sadist that I laugh at the fan’s discontent with my actions?
I think it’s when I found out my mother off’ed herself. Shoved a shotgun into her mouth and pulled the damn trigger. I think I began to hate when I knew that she did it because I’m a shitty daughter or that she’s a shitty person. I don’t know which one, probably both.
I think you’re my only friend in the world, my leather bound therapist. Well, you and the Mid-Atlantic Legacy Championship.
You're both invited to the damn funeral.
And we'll run away from everything right after.
“Gold Rush Rumble, the event that begins everything anew in my eyes. More than Final Frontier, more than anything. One person will stand among a heap of their vanquished foes as the surefire contender to the FGA World Championship. Another end to a chapter in the book of Frontier Grappling Arts. Whoever wins will start forth a new cycle, standing before a stalwart champion who longs to extend their legacy here.”
Amidst darkness, Izzy’s voice rang out. The soft hum of lights warming up followed her words, before a flash of light blinded the video transmission. In a spotlight, Izzy sat still with the Mid-Atlantic Legacy Championship resting upon her lap. She looked down upon it for a moment, before moving it out and setting it upon the mat. “In the changing of the season, into the season of renewal, I’ll tell everyone this one truth.”
“This rumble will see a winner that no one expects. There are the unknown people, lurking around, waiting to make themselves known once more. There are the people that everyone expects to win. Then they are the people that no one thinks have a chance. I don’t fit into any of those categories. I’m a no one. That’s what everyone defines me as. They look at me and see nothing. Yet, that’s when I sought out the favor of my fellow wrestler, when I forgot that I came into wrestling to save myself.”
Izzy tapped upon the Mid-Atlantic Legacy Championship. “I’m a history maker. I’m the longest reigning Mid-Atlantic Legacy Champion in FGA history by a long shot. I’m the champion who has defended their belt the most. I have broken the title defense record. And soon, I’ll be the longest reigning champion in FGA history. I’ll add a Gold Rush Rumble to my imaginary resume while I’m at it. I say ‘imaginary’ because no one seems to care about Izzy Anders.”
“The fact that I’m a history maker flies over everyone’s heads, because no one wants to face the truth about it. People are so caught up in the ‘superstars’ that they forgot who the most dangerous wrestler in FGA is. I have left death everywhere since I’ve begun my reign. I have killed egos, relationships, and plenty of hopes and dreams during my long reign.”
“I’ll do a lot during this whole event. I might take Zero’s record away from him. I may throw Page out and crush his dreams of being champion again. I break Fujiko’s egocentric mind again. I’ll make sure Prince Wadjethotep retires because I took his mask and I broke his face. It’s dream killing season and everyone’s a fucking target!”
Izzy paused, rubbing her chin a bit. She stood up and walked over to the rope and gave it a gentle tug. “My last performance in this was questionable. I got groped and thrown out with relative ease. I didn’t expect much. I thought I was doomed to start. That was back when I was a sniveling girl with her own ideologies holding her back. But now, I have looked into the abyss and it looked right back at me. Instead of running, I jumped into it. Everyone knows that I’ve changed, but no one knows what has happened recently.”
“I’ve stopped caring.”
“People say that I’m jealous, delusional, or whatever. They always say that I’ve changed from the young girl that everyone could take advantage of. Now that I’ve woken up and want to be shit, people get upset with me. The thing was, I used to scream out for people to care about me. My change was meant to tell them how serious I was as a competitor. I had won the Mid-Atlantic Legacy Championship, a belt that no one cared about since its birth and made it great. No one bothered to recognize that, no one cared at all.”
“Now I’ve stopped being jealous of others or being caught up with the love and attention of my peers,” Izzy got up and walked over to the turnbuckle, she ascended it with her championship and gazed among the crowd. “I’m hungry. I’m a record breaker, a history maker. I don’t have time to sit here in stagnation. Once I become the longest reigning champion, what’s next before me?”
“The answer is Triple Crown and Grand Slam. I need that, not the respect of my enemies. I need the glory and the extra paycheck. I didn’t come to wrestling to warp myself in the love of the fans or the wrestlers. I didn’t come here for that, because I’m no co-dependent on it like all of these miserable sods here. I came here to escape the streets, to make a name for myself, to prove that I’m something worthwhile…to myself.”
“Winning the Gold Rush Rumble will help me accomplish all of these goals. I need the World Championship in order to become Triple Crown, Grand Slam, the first double champion, and finally something more,” Izzy paused, looking up at the light. She had fallen into a trance, a dream that made her smile. She rose her hand up in air, reaching for something.
“Better.”
“I’ve been a victim ever since I came to FGA. Fujiko tried to use me to elevate herself. Dom Harter tried to make a legend off my pain and suffering. Annie Zellor uses me as a scapegoat to be a fucking hero. And everyone else uses my name as a doormat to drag it in the mud. People try so hard to use me and I’ve had it. 27 people will try to use me to get ahead. I’m not going to let them. No, never again.”
Izzy’s eyebrows furrowed in clear rage. “I’m not a victim anymore. I’m the culprit. It’s about time that I used everyone else to get ahead. It’s time for me to be selfish. Because I’m sick and tired of having to sit in the back and wait for the spotlight. While Cyncity and Zero have their soap opera drama, I’ll be waiting in wake to take that championship from either of them.”
“Dark horse. Target. There’s many labels that people have been applying to me since my entrance into the Gold Rush Rumble. I don’t care about them. I’m a pretty bad place right now. I just want everyone out of my sight and out of the ring come Gold Rush Rumble. Because Izzy Anders is coming to win the whole damn thing. And take that World Championship for myself.”
“You all have been rightfully warned to stay the fuck out of my way.”
