Spoiler: AND NEEEEEEEEEW

[Perello]

“The day is almost here YOU DISGUSTING PIECES OF SMELLY GARBAGE! THE DAY THAT PRINCE MACREAR AND THE CRIMSON BARONESS BECOME THE LDFC APEX TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS BABY!”

We open outside of the Lions Den gym where Prince MacRear is shown wearing a LDFC sweatsuit with his hair pulled back in a manbun.

“I know how much you nasties all around the World are dreading this moment, mmmmkay. I know all of you nasties that watch LDFC are just hoping and wishing that the ADORABLE BRUTE CAMP somehow manage to walk away with the gold at Pride! But I have some TERRIBLE news for you!”

He smirks at the camera.

“That’s just not going to happen! See, for far too long championship gold has eluded The Baroness and I here in LDFC, but it’s not because we’re not good enough to win it. Nope! It’s because WE are two of the only people on this godforsaken roster that DON’T NEED CHAMPIONSHIP GOLD ON THE LINE TO BE ENTERTAINING! WE DON’T NEED CHAMPIONSHIP GOLD ON THE LINE TO BE CAPTIVATING!! WE DON’T NEED CHAMPIONSHIP GOLD ON THE LINE TO BE MOTIVATED!!!” 

A brief pause.

“HECK, THE BARONESS ALONE MADE PEOPLE CARE ABOUT EMILY CARTER! I ALONE MADE PEOPLE CARE ABOUT DONNIE CROSS, NEST, JENSEN BANKS AND SO ON AND SO FORTH! EVERY LAST ONE OF THOSE NASTIES SHOULD THANK US FOR GETTING THEM AS FAR AS THEY’VE COME!”

A shrug of the shoulders from the Sultan.

“But do you think we’ll ever get a thank you? Of course not. We won’t because every single person on this roster is selfish. Sure, they’ll ACT like they’re happy for you, but the moment you take something off of someone’s plate? That’s when they’ll show their true colors. That’s when the ACTUAL fun will begin! THAT’S WHEN NASTIES LIKE MASON AND BECKY WILL ACTUALLY GAIN A FOLLOWING AND FANS THAT AREN’T PEOPLE DIRECTLY CONNECTED TO THEM!”

He pauses again, now pacing around back and forth.

“You know what?! Mason and Becky are two other nasties who should be thanking us! And why you may ask? BECAUSE IF IT WASN’T FOR THE BARONESS AND I LETTING THEM WIN A FEW WEEKS BACK, NOBODY IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD THINK THEY HAVE A CHANCE AGAINST US AT PRIDE! But, out of the goodness of our hearts, we decided to make STARS out of Mason and Becky! We decided to give them the win so fans all around the world would recognize them for their talents instead of recognizing them for being part of the same crappy clothing line! Sorry, Baroness, but those shirts are horrifying to look at!”

A nonchalant shrug from the Sultan.

“But of course, those two brats didn’t see it that way. Instead, they think that one small little victory over us makes them better. They think that they actually, actually have a shot at becoming Apex Tag Team champions all because of that small little victory. WELL NEWSFLASH, NASTIES! YOU DON’T! YOU HAVE AS MUCH OF A CHANCE AT WINNING THE TAG TEAM TITLES AS I DO WAKING UP UGLY TOMORROW MORNING! YOU HAVE AS MUCH OF A CHANCE AT WINNING THE TAG TITLES AS JENSEN BANKS HAS AT WINNING A MATCH, PERIOD! YOU HAVE AS MUCH OF A CHANCE AT WINNING THE TAG TEAM TITLES AS EMILY CARTER DOES DEVELOPING CHARISMA!”

He smirks.

“As you probably already knew, that means you have no chance in HELL! But I’ll play this little game, Brute Camp! I’ll talk you guys up right now and make it seem like you tykes are formidable challengers! Let's take a look at Mason Mannion! He’s...um… well…” 

A puzzled glare takes over the Sultan’s face.

“... well he has a decent head of hair, I’ll give him that! Other than that? He’s nothing. A NOBODY! SOMEONE WHO HAS ONLY MADE IT THIS FAR IN LDFC BECAUSE HE CLINGS ONTO SOMEONE WHO’S ACTUALLY SOMEWHAT TALENTED!”

The puzzled glare turns into a full scowl as MacRear approaches the camera.

“That’s right, Becky. I said you were SOMEWHAT talented. Why? Because everyone knows it’s YOU that carries your team. Everyone knows that it’s YOU who will one day be on the FGA roster! Your buddy Mason? It wouldn’t stun me if he packed his bags after The Baroness and I make fools out of you two at Pride!”

Another few steps closer to the camera…

“You have all the potential in the world, BECKY! Unfortunately for you… potential only goes so far! THE CRIMSON BARONESS AND PRINCE MACREAR ARE ALREADY STARS! THE ONLY STARS OF LIONS DEN FIGHTING CHAMPIONSHIPS! AND IT’S ABOUT FREAKING TIME EVERYONE STARTS REALIZING IT!”

Another step...

“And when we’re holding tag team gold to close Pride? You’ll have no choice... but to realize it.”

And… static.