She knows...
Mar 17, 2016 19:43:20 GMT -5
Post by Zero McHannon on Mar 17, 2016 19:43:20 GMT -5
Sometimes when you think you’re doing the right thing, it ends up just being one gigantic clusterfuck.
I was thinking about my match at Canadian Stampede for weeks on in before it ever began. People can say I’m full of shit as much as they like, but they don’t know what goes through my mind. I had already decided that I was going to let Cindy get the pinfall on me whenever I saw the perfect chance. I would walk away from the match with a smile on my face and let Cyn have her moment.
The moment she has ALWAYS deserved to have. Out of the shadow of Cordy Stevenson. Her own platform to stand on and celebrate.
But my secret got out, and not in the way I would’ve planned for it to happen. I was supposed to take that secret to the grave with me, along with many others. However… here we are, and there’s no turning back now.
Did I do the right thing? Watch the tape for yourself… I could’ve broken out of the roll up. I guess taking the fall makes me the bad guy in this situation. People must think I’m crazy for taking the fall in a FGA World Championship match. Fact of the matter is, some things in life are more important that any piece of gold you snatch up for yourself along the way. My friendship with Cindy was one of those things that was more important, and now look at me… I’ve lost both.
Cindy is in denial, and that’s understandable. If she has anything to say to me, she should just get it off her chest and come out with it. I deserve it.
You know what’s not going to happen again? Another charity case. If I’m getting shamed and shunned for what I did, you can bet your ass I’ll never let it happen again. Cindy is one of the top dogs in this company, but when it comes to me and her… she will never come first again. I will take back that title and prove to everyone that I’m the one who chose to lose it in the first place. That’s just the cold hard facts of this situation.
For weeks she ignored that it even happened, then came to chase me down at the show like I committed some sort of cardinal sin. It was all fine and dandy until the first episode of Vertigo rolled around, then it became a problem.
Sad thing is, she can deny it all she wants and pretend that I didn’t do what I did… but she knows. You can bet your ass she plugged in the tape and rewatched the match. You can bet that she sees it for herself. “I let you win” might’ve not been the best choice of words, but who knows where that match would’ve gone if I just broken out of that pin like I could’ve.
She knows…
It’s just a matter of time before she accepts it. When she does, I’ll be waiting. No more freebees. I tried to sacrifice one thing in my life for what I thought was the greater good, only to be bitten in the ass by it.
She knows the truth. I don’t need to repeat it to her.
Long Island, New York
Only a couple days after Zero McHannon’s War Games match in HKW and he looked like death. He limped through his house and had ice packs taped to both his knees in a desperate attempt to get healed up before his upcoming match on Vertigo. This was a funny feeling for Zero coming up. Keeping his full time job was one thing, but bringing a child into the world was another.
He limped into the room with Amira Naybett, his baby mama, and held a book of baby names up to his nose as he tried his best to pick the perfect one.
“I keep going through these names, but I can’t get off the name Mako. I know you hated it what I did, pretending to be someone else, but that name… just sticks. It should be the name of our son. What do you think?” Zero said from behind the book as he sat down on the couch.
Amira was too far deep into the television to truly pay attention as she took a sip from her glass of win.
“You really shouldn’t be drinking, you know? You’re smarter than that and your labor will be here before you know it.” Zero said.
“Oh, are you Saint Charles now? Last time I checked, you were far from it. Your loss in that War Games match is all over the news and local stations. Then they bring up you losing your FGA World Championship to that…. girl you claim to be your friend.” Amira stayed behind her glass with another sip before she stood up to pour another drink.
McHannon looked over to the television and seen what she was talking about. Across the screen flashed ‘Brandon Banks Gets One Over On Former Best Friend’, then it started into clips from the match that past weekend.
“You read too much into the news. Even the greatest wrestlers of all time lose matches. I’ve beat some of the best and I’ve lost to them as well. It’s part of this sport.” McHannon looked away from the television and back to the book of baby names.
Amira shook her head at the table and slammed the glass onto the counter. “My son will not grow up with a loser for a father. We used to be so popular. We had the news stalking us every chance they got. We had bonuses on your paycheck. You were actually able to come home some and relax, not put yourself through that… that hell of a match you were in last weekend. If that’s wrestling, I don’t know what you’re doing with your life.”
She was always ill tempered, but she acted differently this time.
“So that’s what this is all about? You care about the good that comes with the sport, but you can’t take the bad that comes with it? I lost. That’s all. It’s not the end of the world. HKW or FGA. I’ll pull it back together, I always do.” McHannon said as he flipped the page and kept looking.
“Zero, I have to tell you something…”
McHannon put down the book and looked up to Amira. Everything she said had a sting to it, so whatever it was, couldn’t have made anything any worse. “Go on, Amira. Say what you have to. You’re not the only one who has been lacing into my ass for the past couple of weeks. I’m actually getting used to it.”
“This is different. I’m leaving.” She said.
“Going back to Morocco for a bit? Before or after the child is born? I’d rather you stay here until…----” But Zero was cut off with the look he was given from Amira.
She walked away from the counter in her dress and stopped in the hallway.
“Zero, my child isn’t even yours. I lied, because I wanted you to be the father and help me raise it, but you’ve got too much going on right now anyway. I’m sorry, I really am…” This time Amira was the one to be cut off.
“You’re fucking kidding me…” Zero replied.
“I’m afraid not, but I guess this makes us even, huh? You lied to me. I lied to you. I’ve already got my bags packed. I’ll be leaving now. It’s about time I let the real father know that he has a child to raise.”
This is the about the wrestling, Zero instantly thought. Amira never liked it, but to lie about it when they were on the rise to the top because she wanted to be apart of the popular crowd? That was low… An all time low.
McHannon didn’t have anything to say in return, only sat there on the couch with the baby name book in his hand as it slipped out to the floor. For the first time since he won the FGA World Championship, a tear started to slowly roll down his cheek. And the pain? The pain was unbearable. It could’ve been the deepest cut he had ever taken.
I was thinking about my match at Canadian Stampede for weeks on in before it ever began. People can say I’m full of shit as much as they like, but they don’t know what goes through my mind. I had already decided that I was going to let Cindy get the pinfall on me whenever I saw the perfect chance. I would walk away from the match with a smile on my face and let Cyn have her moment.
The moment she has ALWAYS deserved to have. Out of the shadow of Cordy Stevenson. Her own platform to stand on and celebrate.
But my secret got out, and not in the way I would’ve planned for it to happen. I was supposed to take that secret to the grave with me, along with many others. However… here we are, and there’s no turning back now.
Did I do the right thing? Watch the tape for yourself… I could’ve broken out of the roll up. I guess taking the fall makes me the bad guy in this situation. People must think I’m crazy for taking the fall in a FGA World Championship match. Fact of the matter is, some things in life are more important that any piece of gold you snatch up for yourself along the way. My friendship with Cindy was one of those things that was more important, and now look at me… I’ve lost both.
Cindy is in denial, and that’s understandable. If she has anything to say to me, she should just get it off her chest and come out with it. I deserve it.
You know what’s not going to happen again? Another charity case. If I’m getting shamed and shunned for what I did, you can bet your ass I’ll never let it happen again. Cindy is one of the top dogs in this company, but when it comes to me and her… she will never come first again. I will take back that title and prove to everyone that I’m the one who chose to lose it in the first place. That’s just the cold hard facts of this situation.
For weeks she ignored that it even happened, then came to chase me down at the show like I committed some sort of cardinal sin. It was all fine and dandy until the first episode of Vertigo rolled around, then it became a problem.
Sad thing is, she can deny it all she wants and pretend that I didn’t do what I did… but she knows. You can bet your ass she plugged in the tape and rewatched the match. You can bet that she sees it for herself. “I let you win” might’ve not been the best choice of words, but who knows where that match would’ve gone if I just broken out of that pin like I could’ve.
She knows…
It’s just a matter of time before she accepts it. When she does, I’ll be waiting. No more freebees. I tried to sacrifice one thing in my life for what I thought was the greater good, only to be bitten in the ass by it.
She knows the truth. I don’t need to repeat it to her.
~~~~~~~~~~
Long Island, New York
Only a couple days after Zero McHannon’s War Games match in HKW and he looked like death. He limped through his house and had ice packs taped to both his knees in a desperate attempt to get healed up before his upcoming match on Vertigo. This was a funny feeling for Zero coming up. Keeping his full time job was one thing, but bringing a child into the world was another.
He limped into the room with Amira Naybett, his baby mama, and held a book of baby names up to his nose as he tried his best to pick the perfect one.
“I keep going through these names, but I can’t get off the name Mako. I know you hated it what I did, pretending to be someone else, but that name… just sticks. It should be the name of our son. What do you think?” Zero said from behind the book as he sat down on the couch.
Amira was too far deep into the television to truly pay attention as she took a sip from her glass of win.
“You really shouldn’t be drinking, you know? You’re smarter than that and your labor will be here before you know it.” Zero said.
“Oh, are you Saint Charles now? Last time I checked, you were far from it. Your loss in that War Games match is all over the news and local stations. Then they bring up you losing your FGA World Championship to that…. girl you claim to be your friend.” Amira stayed behind her glass with another sip before she stood up to pour another drink.
McHannon looked over to the television and seen what she was talking about. Across the screen flashed ‘Brandon Banks Gets One Over On Former Best Friend’, then it started into clips from the match that past weekend.
“You read too much into the news. Even the greatest wrestlers of all time lose matches. I’ve beat some of the best and I’ve lost to them as well. It’s part of this sport.” McHannon looked away from the television and back to the book of baby names.
Amira shook her head at the table and slammed the glass onto the counter. “My son will not grow up with a loser for a father. We used to be so popular. We had the news stalking us every chance they got. We had bonuses on your paycheck. You were actually able to come home some and relax, not put yourself through that… that hell of a match you were in last weekend. If that’s wrestling, I don’t know what you’re doing with your life.”
She was always ill tempered, but she acted differently this time.
“So that’s what this is all about? You care about the good that comes with the sport, but you can’t take the bad that comes with it? I lost. That’s all. It’s not the end of the world. HKW or FGA. I’ll pull it back together, I always do.” McHannon said as he flipped the page and kept looking.
“Zero, I have to tell you something…”
McHannon put down the book and looked up to Amira. Everything she said had a sting to it, so whatever it was, couldn’t have made anything any worse. “Go on, Amira. Say what you have to. You’re not the only one who has been lacing into my ass for the past couple of weeks. I’m actually getting used to it.”
“This is different. I’m leaving.” She said.
“Going back to Morocco for a bit? Before or after the child is born? I’d rather you stay here until…----” But Zero was cut off with the look he was given from Amira.
She walked away from the counter in her dress and stopped in the hallway.
“Zero, my child isn’t even yours. I lied, because I wanted you to be the father and help me raise it, but you’ve got too much going on right now anyway. I’m sorry, I really am…” This time Amira was the one to be cut off.
“You’re fucking kidding me…” Zero replied.
“I’m afraid not, but I guess this makes us even, huh? You lied to me. I lied to you. I’ve already got my bags packed. I’ll be leaving now. It’s about time I let the real father know that he has a child to raise.”
This is the about the wrestling, Zero instantly thought. Amira never liked it, but to lie about it when they were on the rise to the top because she wanted to be apart of the popular crowd? That was low… An all time low.
McHannon didn’t have anything to say in return, only sat there on the couch with the baby name book in his hand as it slipped out to the floor. For the first time since he won the FGA World Championship, a tear started to slowly roll down his cheek. And the pain? The pain was unbearable. It could’ve been the deepest cut he had ever taken.
~~~~~~~~~~
“Cami. Cami. Cami.
What exactly are we going to do with you?
You used to be such a sweet girl. I remember keeping with FGA when I was signed to EXODUS and PDW. I remember you quite well during my time with those promotions. You were never the one that starved for attention or cared about who was who in the company. You were just… you.
But all that has changed, now hasn’t it? You team up with Yun to have each others back, and all the values go out the window. I guess it’s easier to act the way you do when you have someone standing by your side to act the exact same way. Two sweet girls, turned for the bad. It’s like you’ve brought out the absolute worst in each other. I’ve always known Yun to be the type to want someone there to lean an arm on, but you? I’ve never remembered you to be that way.
Just like Izzy Anders, you should’ve stuck to the person that you were. People enjoyed you more. Or at least, I did.
But who I am to talk? Not a day goes by that I don’t hear the haunting words that were told to me when I was traveling overseas.
‘Backstabbed by a good friend’.
Brandon Banks. He was my best friend in this business until he superkicked me. Paranoid that I was trying to take over his company. Did I make some questionable decisions? I always do, but that’s what makes me human. I go through the suffering and torture, but I sure as fuck know how to wrestle my way out of a paper bag.
‘Fall for a girl with a black heart’.
Cindy Parker. I took the fall. She hates me for it. I’m trying to be the good guy about the whole situation, but she refuses to let me be that guy anymore. So instead of keeping my cool and fighting through it, I snapped back. It’s not very often I let my friends get under my skin, but that’s why they’re your friends… they know exactly which nerve to touch.
‘A child who will never know you’re the father’.
Well, this is recent, I know, but let’s just say that I’m not having the child of my own anymore. It has been taken away from me, and I’m confused on what to think. Claire Redford… She has my eyes, though. I’ve always thought that. Maybe… Hmm. Nah. Nevermind. We will touch on that another day when my head is more clear.
‘Reborn from black ash.’
At least I have that going for me.
Do you see it, too? Cami? Do you know what it’s like to try and AVOID something, only for it to start slowly coming true right before your very face. Of course you do. Everyone said they wanted a new Cami, so you gave them a new Cami. You gave into the peer pressure. You complain that you haven’t wrestled in a month.
News flash, Cami… there’s new talent flooding the scene in FGA. A lot of us haven’t wrestled in a month, but that’s what they make working out for. You keep yourself together and when it’s your time to step back into that ring, you do it, no questions asked.
Whenever I won the FGA World Championship, there wasn’t much ring time for me because all the amount of talent signing up to perform in the company. You know what? I’m bothered by it, too, but I realize the bigger picture. You and I? We’ve stepped into that ring and proved ourselves over and over again. These new signees still need to do that. We need to keep them here and ready to fight, or lose them just as quickly as we got them.
And that’s where you loyalty comes into play, Cami. You’re probably the most loyal person in this company, to this company. No matter what bruises you take, you’re still there and waiting the next day. That’s what I admire of you, and in due time, I want people to view me in the same light. I don’t want injuries to slow me down or keep me from stepping into an FGA ring. I want to be here whenever I get the call up and be ready to put on the best show I can for the FGA faithful. I want to be known as the guy who will do whatever it takes for this company…
Even if that means making Cindy Parker the first female FGA World Champion.
And I envy that you’re going to be in the Gold Rush Rumble again, something that I think I’m going to have to miss out on this year after my stunning return to the ring last year in the rumble. You get to go out there and throw the dice against all the other talent in the company, while I’ve got my eyes on a much bigger prize. People will be chasing for the chance to get their shot at obtaining the FGA World Championship, while I’m still fighting to have it back around my waist. My Gold Rush elimination record will be put to the test while someone is shooting to get even more elimination than I did last year…
And I will be watching that match every moment. Jealous. Envious. Sad that I probably won’t be participating, but hyped up for the match that I will have that night all the same. Doing my absolute best to make my one on one more talked about than the rumble itself. Watching to see if someone out there can come out with more than seven eliminations to break my record in my first ever match in this company.
It means a lot to me, Cami. As it should. Every accomplishment I capture, I’m proud of it. I let my emotions bleed from it. You could be one of those people, Cami. Youy could step in that ring, side by side to Yun, and dominate the competition…. If you’re willing to take it seriously.
That’s my challenge to you while I have my own challenge for the night. To break my elimination record that I don’t want to see broken. You see, someone breaking it will only make me enter that ring the next year and out-do them once again. Do you have that fire in you, Cami? That same passion? That WANT to be better than anyone who steps into the ring with you. We’ve all had our great times and our bad times, which one will you and Yun have at the Gold Rush Rumble? Two against the world when I was just a solo man.
Put some thought into that. Do YOU really need Yun? I know Yun needs other people. I see it with Failsafe in PDW. A group that was formed and they wanted me in it. Some of the same people I ran with in the group called the White Nights. I turned down that offer to become my own man. Back then I was a jackass who would’ve done anything to make a name for himself in the company. I did just that when I signed up to join the White Nights, a decision that I still regret to today. Later, that group became Failsafe. A decision that I’m proud of to say I didn’t follow in my footsteps of joining their ranks. So think on that some before you decide to choose this path with Yun. Is this what YOU really want, or are you just putting up with Yun’s needs? The shoulder to lean on?
But there’s the fact that I’ve always been known to not play nice with others, even with my change in attitude. Something that even in recent tag matches, I’ve gotten better at. That’s something that you can take in pride, that I can’t.
So which Cami is going to show up to our match at Vertigo? The type that needs the shoulder to lean on to get the win, or the one that’s looking to make some noise in the Gold Rush Rumble? You know which one I want… I want the very best out of you just like I want the very best out of everyone that I step into that ring to face. You want to be the next Cindy Parker….
Well then, prove it to me. Don’t just sit there and run your mouth about things, back it the fuck up.
This is your chance, and probably the only one you’ll ever have at it. I hope you make the best of it.
Because when I step into that ring, I’m treating you like I do everyone else that I face. You’re going to be the only thing I’m focusing on, and the another name to put under the notch of wins in my belt. You and me? Well, let’s just say that you’re no Cindy Parker. My days of pushing someone to a gift that I can give them are over, even for her. There’s no right and wrong when you just go into the ring and wrestle.
See you soon, Cami…. Sooner than you probably want.
Zero.
Fucks.
Given.
