I Believe in Karma
Mar 3, 2016 16:14:17 GMT -5
Post by Johnny Karma on Mar 3, 2016 16:14:17 GMT -5
20th February 2015, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Although he may be proud in victory, Johnny Karma is clearly not too proud to admit that maybe he could do with a little help as a couple of backstage personnel are helping him through the backstage area of the Ricoh Coliseum towards the locker room, with Cherry Baum following close behind
Don't worry, J-K, we're nearly back in the locker room now.
It's no surprise that Karma requires a little bit of assistance getting backstage as his body has numerous welts and freshly-formed bruises that make him look like Patient Zero to a viral epidemic that threatens the existence of mankind, each and every one of them a gift from Johnny Cannon that he was given in the endurance test he just managed to come through victorious. Yet even though he won, Karma seems to be somewhat unaware of where he is right now, no doubt a direct result of taking a roundhouse to the side of the skull in the match's closing stages. In fact, when one of the staffers goes to open the locker room door, Karma stumbles and nearly falls to the floor, and only a timely catch from Cherry stops him taking a one-way trip to Floorsville
It's okay, J-K, I've got you.
Having helped Karma through the locker room door and sat him on a bench, one of the staffers grabs an ice pack and places it in Karma's hand, before they manoeuvre Karma's hand towards his neck and give him some brief and to the point instructions
Staffer: Johnny? The doc's going to be here in a minute, but until then you'll need to hold this ice pack on your neck. You got dumped on your head with a couple of those suplexes and we need to make sure everything's okay.
Karma sort of nods, implying he vaguely understands what's going on, giving a grunt in acknowledgment as the staffer heads out towards the corridor
Thanks for your help guys.
Once the staffers have left the locker room, Cherry closes the door and turns towards Karma, approaching the bench before sitting down next to him
…hi
Although he appears to be somewhat glassy-eyed, Karma seems to be regaining at least a basic of understanding of where he is and what’s going on, which pleases Cherry no end
So how’re you feeling?
At first it seems the question breezed past Karma, but just as Cherry is about to nudge him to see if she can get a response Karma manages to formulate a response
Could you tell me something?
At first Cherry looks worried, thinking that Karma might have picked up a concussion in the closing stages of the match – and from where she’s sitting it certainly looks possible
Sure thing J-K.
Do you think that momzer learned his lesson tonight?
A smile crosses Cherry’s lips as she realises, even though he’s spent the last few weeks being pushed his very limits and has just taken an absolute beating in the ring tonight, it seems that Karma has come through a bigger and better person than before
I sure hope he has.
Cherry kisses Karma on the top of the head
Thanks for looking out for me J-K.
Suddenly remembering that Karma’s entire body is covered with both his and Cannon’s sweat, and probably all manner of ringside spillages on top of it, Cherry uses her thumb to wipe her lips – and in that moment Karma woozily leans over and kisses her on the cheek
Don’t mention it.
At that moment the arena medic walks through the door to check over Karma, yet Cherry doesn’t seem to be aware of this as she’s trying to work out in her head what just happened
Now…
KARMIC TV
We're back, baby!
Having been played in by David Robert Jones at his very best we cut to the Karmic TV studio where Cherry is giving us a warm welcome, something she hasn’t been able to do for a few weeks due to…certain Johnny Cannon-related circumstances
Welcome back everyone to an edition of Karmic TV that is as long-overdue as Gary Oldman winning an Oscar. So just in case Leonardo DiCaprio is watching, stop complaining – somebody who can actually act has waited far longer than you had to. But enough about that, instead it’s time to meet the man of the hour, the man who defeated Johnny Cannon at Canadian Stampede – Johnny Karma!
The camera pans across the studio towards Karma, who is sprawled on his couch as he always is, and he goes to give a casual wave…
Hey…JEEZ!!!
…and he almost immediately regrets it, and ends up clutching at his pectoral muscle that clearly needs a little more R&R after the bruising that it took at Cannon’s hands
Couldn’t he have actually backed over me with a pickup truck? I doubt I could tell the difference…
Taking a second to massage his pec, wincing as he does so, Karma mutters a few dark oaths under his breath before attempting to steer the conversation back to where it should be
So, as I’m sure you all saw, when Canadian Stampede came along I had a choice: should I ignore everything that I stand for and sink to Johnny Cannon’s level because it would feel good for that split second where I splatter his nose across his face with my own bare hands, or should I stay strong and prove that Cannon’s way of doing things is not the way forward? I’ll be honest with you, the choice was pretty difficult for me, because Cannon’s a guy who doesn’t so much push a button as smash it as hard as he can with a sledgehammer over and over again until either the hammer or the button breaks, so when his face is within my reach it took a lot for me to tell my most base instincts to shut up and let me do things my way. But that’s what I did, I kept my head just long enough to drop Cannon on his.
Most importantly though, I proved something not just to the FWA fans but also proved something to myself: I proved that standing up in the hope of a little sanity returning to this company is the right thing to do, and it’s given me something that I’ve lacked for longer than I’d like to admit: direction.
Karma takes a deep breath before he continues
The fact is that getting wins is always a good thing, as it serves to remind you that no matter how many people will boldly predict themselves to win against you, you will always be able to get the last word by doing your talking in the ring and other clichés. But what do individual wins get you? Bragging rights for all of a couple of days and maybe you’ll get bumped up a couple of spots on the Power Rankings. So you may have won a match, but what’s next? Win another one? That might be fine for a while, but soon you’ll realise that you’re in a circle jerk, going around winning a bunch of matches but treading water at the same time because you’re just going one match at a time without an end game. If that was what I was looking to do for a living, I’d have actually opened one of those letters with a Stamford CT postmark on it.
That’s not saying I’ve been coasting my entire time on the FWA roster, obviously. There’s been plenty of times where I’ve had an endgame and I’ve gone right for it, be it looking to relieve Chris Bond of the Pride Championship, or proving Kevin Hardaway I could take whatever he could throw at me, or proving to myself just as much as I proved to Cyncity that I wasn’t going to let a setback defeat me, but each and every time once I had achieved what I had set out to do I didn’t follow up on it. So I guess I should be thankful that the locker room has been looking like a kadokhes convention because it’s given me not just something to motivate me, but it’s given me plenty of reasons to continue to prove that there is a way to get ahead that doesn’t involve having somebody else learn just how much coverage their medical insurance is giving them. And you know what? It seems to be working – and not just for me, but the entire FWA roster.
Holding up a finger for a second, Karma focuses on what he’s about to say next
Cast your minds back…let’s say three months. At the top of the table we had that ekldik mentsh known as Chandler Scott ruling the roost; we had Jimmy Page throwing his weight and anything that wasn’t nailed down, usually in the direction of anyone he felt hadn’t had him ruin their day recently; we had Dom Harter costing people title opportunities – and look where they are now. Chandler not only lost the FWA title but he finally had a dose of…well I’m not going to say “karma” as people would think I’m taking credit, but the fact is he lost the title and he’s now at home nursing a bunch of injuries. Harter discovered all too late that his medicine was a suppository and he was going to have to taste it and he’s also at home watching FWA continue without him, while Page is finding more and more people are inspired to put him down than they were a year ago. On top of that, Johnny Cannon’s just learned the hard way that deliberately injuring people to further your career just motivates those he hadn’t targeted to stop him in his tracks.
But there’s still one person who needs to be taken down so we get a clean sweep.
Realising he’s raised a finger to illustrate his point, Karma waits a second before he continues, drumming his fingers on the arm of his couch before he picks up where he left off
Naturally, I’m talking about the shame of the Pride Championship, the poster boy for all manner of sexually transmitted diseases, Tony Carmine.
Leaning forward ever so slightly, Karma looks directly into the camera
Don’t think that I forgot about you throwing shade about me a few months back, saying how beating me requires as much effort as ordering takeout while you were trying to make out how beating Chandler for the FWA Championship wasn’t just a formality but an inevitability.
Karma pauses, placing a knuckle under his chin as a thoughtful look crosses his face
Wait a minute…last time I checked that’s not how things happened, was it? Instead you spent plenty of time running your mouth about this and that, trying to get in Chandler’s head…aaaaaaaaaand you choked. You choked so bad that there was an obituary for you posted on Twitter because they thought the sudden lack of your usual jibber-jabber meant you’d not so much shuffled off this mortal coil as decided to do a barrel roll off the side.
…and it’s a shame that he didn’t.
A bit harsh, Miss Baum.
Not really, given his idea of preparing for the last time the pair of you faced off was to spend weeks trying to letch after me – and after weeks of being given quite detailed directions in how to go…forth and multiply the best he could come up with is the sort of insults you expect from a drunk frat boy whose concept of rejection mainly focuses on his supply of rohypnol running out. A classy act, I’m sure you’ll agree.
At first Karma looks like he’s about to respond to the last comment, but then he hesitates as he thinks about what Cherry said as an idea pops into his head
You know, you’ve got a point there. Not the rohypnol line, as nobody wants to give Carmine any ideas on how to successfully talk to women for the first time in his life, but about Carmine in general.
As I have already said, Carmine is the last schmuck standing when it comes to FWA titles losing value like the Fine Bros lose subscribers, and what gets me is how this is somehow accepted. After all, I’ve heard phrases like “death grip” used to describe his hold on the title, which quite conveniently ignores the fact his grip on the title is anything but vice-like considering he’s lost the title once already. Does that mean the belt was prised out of his cold, dead hands or does it mean that he’s a self-promoter who ignores these things known as “facts” just like certain people whose family name is Drumpf do on a daily basis?
Well just like that certain person whose name I won’t mention because everyone with a brain has heard their name far too much recently as it is, for Carmine there’s a choice of two elevators: one that goes up to the penthouse, and one that goes down to the street – and now it’s time for you to get your things and leave the building, because your tuches is getting bounced to the sidewalk and you won’t have that title in your hands as you roll into the gutter where you belong.
That’s the thing, Carmine, you are a clot in the arteries of FWA and that is killing us. Every time a new set of eyes is on the product they see you sleazing your way front and centre, giving people a reason to stop watching because they find you repulsive even before you open your mouth – and when you do, *poof*, there go some more people who were mildly interested in the product before you gave them a reason not to watch. But it probably doesn’t matter to you, after all you got paid and have ammunition for your next 18000 tweets so why should you care that you’re dragging everyone else down by association?
And no doubt you’ll be saying how you scraped a victory against me on the first edition of Vertigo, because you’re going to flip-flop between that being an achievement when you need it to be and something that required no effort at all when you want to try and talk down to somebody you failed to beat. Great strategy, Carmine! Yet the second you say that, there is just one response from me: …and? You got a win, big deal, what did you do with it? Nothing. Just because you say you’re hot drek doesn’t mean you are, not when the facts keep proving otherwise. What’s more, back when I faced you last, I was focusing on the title and nothing more, as I was seeing the title as the endgame for what I was trying to do when I should’ve been thinking of rescuing the reputation and the lineage of the Pride Championship by being so much better than you not just in life but as a champion, and to do that beating you for the title is the start of something, not the end. I can see this so much more clearly now, having gained some perspective on what I need to do not just to improve my prospects but those of the company that’s surrounding me every time I walk into the arena. And that involves the title leaving your waist, getting sent to Three Mile Island to thoroughly scrub each and every one of the toxic materials it has come into contact with from the belt and then having it handed to me at long last.
It looks as if Karma is going to continue on that thread, yet instead he pauses for a moment as something pops into his head
Here’s the thing about me coming back for the Pride Championship. A few months ago I was thinking that regaining the title I lost far too long ago was some sort of reward because I’d stopped feeling sorry for myself after I came so close to ending Jimmy Page’s reign as FWA Champion only for Chandler Scott to walk out as the new champion, because I was equating finding my mojo with winning a match like I’d wandered onto whatever they show on the Disney Channel on a Tuesday afternoon where believing in yourself means you can do anything and…you get the idea. That’s not exactly a sound basis for believing you can win a title, just like watching a few episodes of House doesn’t make you a qualified surgeon. This time, however, I’ve got a little more than some moxye and the link to a Youtube video of me beating Chris Bond to become Pride Champion for the first time as a reason to believe it’s time to make the Pride Championship great again. After all, a few months ago Carmine wanted to run his mouth saying I was a soft touch – but anyone who watched Canadian Stampede will know for a fact that’s not the case, because they know I can take plenty of what my opponents dish out and refuse to let them beat me. That trait is pretty big when the match is set for one fall, but when it’s best two out of three that’s a whole different ball game. In fact, when everything you have isn’t enough to keep me down for one fall it’s not even a ball game - it’s that Afghan version of polo where they hurl a dead goat about.
That’s what it comes down to: last time I felt it was time for me to win a title and that’s all I was focusing on, and that obviously wasn’t enough because thinking it’s your turn to have a title is never a good enough reason to become champion. That’s changed, boy has it changed – this time I’m not walking into the match thinking “Nice title, it’d be a shame if somebody was going to win it” because that’s the logic of a molvan, instead I’m coming into the match thinking one thing: there is no way that I am going to let you defeat me for that title. If you hit me in the face, I’ll hit you right back. If you try and get inside my head, I’ll chase you out because I don’t want any cuckoos nesting in my belfry. If you try something cheap, I’ll make you pay. Every single thing you do in the match I will have an answer for, and it’s not going to be one of those Donald Drumpf answers where he evades the question to waffle the same old same old, it’ll be an answer that’s so accurate and so intelligent that people might be willing to overlook the fact you asked a stupid question in the first place. Because that’s the thing, Carmine. I’m looking forward to not just beating you, I’m looking forward to beating you twice.
Once Karma has finished speaking, he winks to the camera before he leans back on his couch and stretches his hands behind his head so he has something comfortable to recline on
Okay guys, it looks like we’re more or less done here, so now all we need to do is get a flight to Boston and make our way to the Matthews Arena…
An arena I have no problem walking into, in case certain people might want to imply otherwise.
…so as always thank you all so much for watching, and if you liked what you just saw go ahead and hit the “Like” button, if you really liked what you saw why not hit the “Subscribe” button, and most of all don’t forget to watch Vertigo this Saturday to see J-K compete for the Pride Championship in the shoe’s main event. But until we see you again…bye!
With the show wrapped up, Cherry waves to the camera as a second slip of “Heroes” plays just long enough for the red bar to catch up to the grey bar without violating any fair use policies before the next video on the playlist queues
Although he may be proud in victory, Johnny Karma is clearly not too proud to admit that maybe he could do with a little help as a couple of backstage personnel are helping him through the backstage area of the Ricoh Coliseum towards the locker room, with Cherry Baum following close behind
Don't worry, J-K, we're nearly back in the locker room now.
It's no surprise that Karma requires a little bit of assistance getting backstage as his body has numerous welts and freshly-formed bruises that make him look like Patient Zero to a viral epidemic that threatens the existence of mankind, each and every one of them a gift from Johnny Cannon that he was given in the endurance test he just managed to come through victorious. Yet even though he won, Karma seems to be somewhat unaware of where he is right now, no doubt a direct result of taking a roundhouse to the side of the skull in the match's closing stages. In fact, when one of the staffers goes to open the locker room door, Karma stumbles and nearly falls to the floor, and only a timely catch from Cherry stops him taking a one-way trip to Floorsville
It's okay, J-K, I've got you.
Having helped Karma through the locker room door and sat him on a bench, one of the staffers grabs an ice pack and places it in Karma's hand, before they manoeuvre Karma's hand towards his neck and give him some brief and to the point instructions
Staffer: Johnny? The doc's going to be here in a minute, but until then you'll need to hold this ice pack on your neck. You got dumped on your head with a couple of those suplexes and we need to make sure everything's okay.
Karma sort of nods, implying he vaguely understands what's going on, giving a grunt in acknowledgment as the staffer heads out towards the corridor
Thanks for your help guys.
Once the staffers have left the locker room, Cherry closes the door and turns towards Karma, approaching the bench before sitting down next to him
…hi
Although he appears to be somewhat glassy-eyed, Karma seems to be regaining at least a basic of understanding of where he is and what’s going on, which pleases Cherry no end
So how’re you feeling?
At first it seems the question breezed past Karma, but just as Cherry is about to nudge him to see if she can get a response Karma manages to formulate a response
Could you tell me something?
At first Cherry looks worried, thinking that Karma might have picked up a concussion in the closing stages of the match – and from where she’s sitting it certainly looks possible
Sure thing J-K.
Do you think that momzer learned his lesson tonight?
A smile crosses Cherry’s lips as she realises, even though he’s spent the last few weeks being pushed his very limits and has just taken an absolute beating in the ring tonight, it seems that Karma has come through a bigger and better person than before
I sure hope he has.
Cherry kisses Karma on the top of the head
Thanks for looking out for me J-K.
Suddenly remembering that Karma’s entire body is covered with both his and Cannon’s sweat, and probably all manner of ringside spillages on top of it, Cherry uses her thumb to wipe her lips – and in that moment Karma woozily leans over and kisses her on the cheek
Don’t mention it.
At that moment the arena medic walks through the door to check over Karma, yet Cherry doesn’t seem to be aware of this as she’s trying to work out in her head what just happened
Now…
KARMIC TV
We're back, baby!
Having been played in by David Robert Jones at his very best we cut to the Karmic TV studio where Cherry is giving us a warm welcome, something she hasn’t been able to do for a few weeks due to…certain Johnny Cannon-related circumstances
Welcome back everyone to an edition of Karmic TV that is as long-overdue as Gary Oldman winning an Oscar. So just in case Leonardo DiCaprio is watching, stop complaining – somebody who can actually act has waited far longer than you had to. But enough about that, instead it’s time to meet the man of the hour, the man who defeated Johnny Cannon at Canadian Stampede – Johnny Karma!
The camera pans across the studio towards Karma, who is sprawled on his couch as he always is, and he goes to give a casual wave…
Hey…JEEZ!!!
…and he almost immediately regrets it, and ends up clutching at his pectoral muscle that clearly needs a little more R&R after the bruising that it took at Cannon’s hands
Couldn’t he have actually backed over me with a pickup truck? I doubt I could tell the difference…
Taking a second to massage his pec, wincing as he does so, Karma mutters a few dark oaths under his breath before attempting to steer the conversation back to where it should be
So, as I’m sure you all saw, when Canadian Stampede came along I had a choice: should I ignore everything that I stand for and sink to Johnny Cannon’s level because it would feel good for that split second where I splatter his nose across his face with my own bare hands, or should I stay strong and prove that Cannon’s way of doing things is not the way forward? I’ll be honest with you, the choice was pretty difficult for me, because Cannon’s a guy who doesn’t so much push a button as smash it as hard as he can with a sledgehammer over and over again until either the hammer or the button breaks, so when his face is within my reach it took a lot for me to tell my most base instincts to shut up and let me do things my way. But that’s what I did, I kept my head just long enough to drop Cannon on his.
Most importantly though, I proved something not just to the FWA fans but also proved something to myself: I proved that standing up in the hope of a little sanity returning to this company is the right thing to do, and it’s given me something that I’ve lacked for longer than I’d like to admit: direction.
Karma takes a deep breath before he continues
The fact is that getting wins is always a good thing, as it serves to remind you that no matter how many people will boldly predict themselves to win against you, you will always be able to get the last word by doing your talking in the ring and other clichés. But what do individual wins get you? Bragging rights for all of a couple of days and maybe you’ll get bumped up a couple of spots on the Power Rankings. So you may have won a match, but what’s next? Win another one? That might be fine for a while, but soon you’ll realise that you’re in a circle jerk, going around winning a bunch of matches but treading water at the same time because you’re just going one match at a time without an end game. If that was what I was looking to do for a living, I’d have actually opened one of those letters with a Stamford CT postmark on it.
That’s not saying I’ve been coasting my entire time on the FWA roster, obviously. There’s been plenty of times where I’ve had an endgame and I’ve gone right for it, be it looking to relieve Chris Bond of the Pride Championship, or proving Kevin Hardaway I could take whatever he could throw at me, or proving to myself just as much as I proved to Cyncity that I wasn’t going to let a setback defeat me, but each and every time once I had achieved what I had set out to do I didn’t follow up on it. So I guess I should be thankful that the locker room has been looking like a kadokhes convention because it’s given me not just something to motivate me, but it’s given me plenty of reasons to continue to prove that there is a way to get ahead that doesn’t involve having somebody else learn just how much coverage their medical insurance is giving them. And you know what? It seems to be working – and not just for me, but the entire FWA roster.
Holding up a finger for a second, Karma focuses on what he’s about to say next
Cast your minds back…let’s say three months. At the top of the table we had that ekldik mentsh known as Chandler Scott ruling the roost; we had Jimmy Page throwing his weight and anything that wasn’t nailed down, usually in the direction of anyone he felt hadn’t had him ruin their day recently; we had Dom Harter costing people title opportunities – and look where they are now. Chandler not only lost the FWA title but he finally had a dose of…well I’m not going to say “karma” as people would think I’m taking credit, but the fact is he lost the title and he’s now at home nursing a bunch of injuries. Harter discovered all too late that his medicine was a suppository and he was going to have to taste it and he’s also at home watching FWA continue without him, while Page is finding more and more people are inspired to put him down than they were a year ago. On top of that, Johnny Cannon’s just learned the hard way that deliberately injuring people to further your career just motivates those he hadn’t targeted to stop him in his tracks.
But there’s still one person who needs to be taken down so we get a clean sweep.
Realising he’s raised a finger to illustrate his point, Karma waits a second before he continues, drumming his fingers on the arm of his couch before he picks up where he left off
Naturally, I’m talking about the shame of the Pride Championship, the poster boy for all manner of sexually transmitted diseases, Tony Carmine.
Leaning forward ever so slightly, Karma looks directly into the camera
Don’t think that I forgot about you throwing shade about me a few months back, saying how beating me requires as much effort as ordering takeout while you were trying to make out how beating Chandler for the FWA Championship wasn’t just a formality but an inevitability.
Karma pauses, placing a knuckle under his chin as a thoughtful look crosses his face
Wait a minute…last time I checked that’s not how things happened, was it? Instead you spent plenty of time running your mouth about this and that, trying to get in Chandler’s head…aaaaaaaaaand you choked. You choked so bad that there was an obituary for you posted on Twitter because they thought the sudden lack of your usual jibber-jabber meant you’d not so much shuffled off this mortal coil as decided to do a barrel roll off the side.
…and it’s a shame that he didn’t.
A bit harsh, Miss Baum.
Not really, given his idea of preparing for the last time the pair of you faced off was to spend weeks trying to letch after me – and after weeks of being given quite detailed directions in how to go…forth and multiply the best he could come up with is the sort of insults you expect from a drunk frat boy whose concept of rejection mainly focuses on his supply of rohypnol running out. A classy act, I’m sure you’ll agree.
At first Karma looks like he’s about to respond to the last comment, but then he hesitates as he thinks about what Cherry said as an idea pops into his head
You know, you’ve got a point there. Not the rohypnol line, as nobody wants to give Carmine any ideas on how to successfully talk to women for the first time in his life, but about Carmine in general.
As I have already said, Carmine is the last schmuck standing when it comes to FWA titles losing value like the Fine Bros lose subscribers, and what gets me is how this is somehow accepted. After all, I’ve heard phrases like “death grip” used to describe his hold on the title, which quite conveniently ignores the fact his grip on the title is anything but vice-like considering he’s lost the title once already. Does that mean the belt was prised out of his cold, dead hands or does it mean that he’s a self-promoter who ignores these things known as “facts” just like certain people whose family name is Drumpf do on a daily basis?
Well just like that certain person whose name I won’t mention because everyone with a brain has heard their name far too much recently as it is, for Carmine there’s a choice of two elevators: one that goes up to the penthouse, and one that goes down to the street – and now it’s time for you to get your things and leave the building, because your tuches is getting bounced to the sidewalk and you won’t have that title in your hands as you roll into the gutter where you belong.
That’s the thing, Carmine, you are a clot in the arteries of FWA and that is killing us. Every time a new set of eyes is on the product they see you sleazing your way front and centre, giving people a reason to stop watching because they find you repulsive even before you open your mouth – and when you do, *poof*, there go some more people who were mildly interested in the product before you gave them a reason not to watch. But it probably doesn’t matter to you, after all you got paid and have ammunition for your next 18000 tweets so why should you care that you’re dragging everyone else down by association?
And no doubt you’ll be saying how you scraped a victory against me on the first edition of Vertigo, because you’re going to flip-flop between that being an achievement when you need it to be and something that required no effort at all when you want to try and talk down to somebody you failed to beat. Great strategy, Carmine! Yet the second you say that, there is just one response from me: …and? You got a win, big deal, what did you do with it? Nothing. Just because you say you’re hot drek doesn’t mean you are, not when the facts keep proving otherwise. What’s more, back when I faced you last, I was focusing on the title and nothing more, as I was seeing the title as the endgame for what I was trying to do when I should’ve been thinking of rescuing the reputation and the lineage of the Pride Championship by being so much better than you not just in life but as a champion, and to do that beating you for the title is the start of something, not the end. I can see this so much more clearly now, having gained some perspective on what I need to do not just to improve my prospects but those of the company that’s surrounding me every time I walk into the arena. And that involves the title leaving your waist, getting sent to Three Mile Island to thoroughly scrub each and every one of the toxic materials it has come into contact with from the belt and then having it handed to me at long last.
It looks as if Karma is going to continue on that thread, yet instead he pauses for a moment as something pops into his head
Here’s the thing about me coming back for the Pride Championship. A few months ago I was thinking that regaining the title I lost far too long ago was some sort of reward because I’d stopped feeling sorry for myself after I came so close to ending Jimmy Page’s reign as FWA Champion only for Chandler Scott to walk out as the new champion, because I was equating finding my mojo with winning a match like I’d wandered onto whatever they show on the Disney Channel on a Tuesday afternoon where believing in yourself means you can do anything and…you get the idea. That’s not exactly a sound basis for believing you can win a title, just like watching a few episodes of House doesn’t make you a qualified surgeon. This time, however, I’ve got a little more than some moxye and the link to a Youtube video of me beating Chris Bond to become Pride Champion for the first time as a reason to believe it’s time to make the Pride Championship great again. After all, a few months ago Carmine wanted to run his mouth saying I was a soft touch – but anyone who watched Canadian Stampede will know for a fact that’s not the case, because they know I can take plenty of what my opponents dish out and refuse to let them beat me. That trait is pretty big when the match is set for one fall, but when it’s best two out of three that’s a whole different ball game. In fact, when everything you have isn’t enough to keep me down for one fall it’s not even a ball game - it’s that Afghan version of polo where they hurl a dead goat about.
That’s what it comes down to: last time I felt it was time for me to win a title and that’s all I was focusing on, and that obviously wasn’t enough because thinking it’s your turn to have a title is never a good enough reason to become champion. That’s changed, boy has it changed – this time I’m not walking into the match thinking “Nice title, it’d be a shame if somebody was going to win it” because that’s the logic of a molvan, instead I’m coming into the match thinking one thing: there is no way that I am going to let you defeat me for that title. If you hit me in the face, I’ll hit you right back. If you try and get inside my head, I’ll chase you out because I don’t want any cuckoos nesting in my belfry. If you try something cheap, I’ll make you pay. Every single thing you do in the match I will have an answer for, and it’s not going to be one of those Donald Drumpf answers where he evades the question to waffle the same old same old, it’ll be an answer that’s so accurate and so intelligent that people might be willing to overlook the fact you asked a stupid question in the first place. Because that’s the thing, Carmine. I’m looking forward to not just beating you, I’m looking forward to beating you twice.
Once Karma has finished speaking, he winks to the camera before he leans back on his couch and stretches his hands behind his head so he has something comfortable to recline on
Okay guys, it looks like we’re more or less done here, so now all we need to do is get a flight to Boston and make our way to the Matthews Arena…
An arena I have no problem walking into, in case certain people might want to imply otherwise.
…so as always thank you all so much for watching, and if you liked what you just saw go ahead and hit the “Like” button, if you really liked what you saw why not hit the “Subscribe” button, and most of all don’t forget to watch Vertigo this Saturday to see J-K compete for the Pride Championship in the shoe’s main event. But until we see you again…bye!
With the show wrapped up, Cherry waves to the camera as a second slip of “Heroes” plays just long enough for the red bar to catch up to the grey bar without violating any fair use policies before the next video on the playlist queues
