oo1: newos wif attitude
Jan 21, 2016 4:05:51 GMT -5
Post by ketamine on Jan 21, 2016 4:05:51 GMT -5
“You SLEPT with him?!” Jaxie Darling demanded, slapping her hand against the heavy bag that she was holding for Nero for emphasis. “Please tell me you didn’t…”
Nero’s cheeks went bright red and she gritted her teeth, suddenly wishing that her messy blue hair wasn’t reigned back into a ponytail at the moment so that she could duck behind her. Her eyes darted rapidly over to where her uncle and trainer was working with her cousins on some ground techniques a few feet away. “Not so loud,” she hissed.
“Sorry.” But she didn’t really sound all that sorry. She mostly sounded incredulous and that wasn’t what Nero needed. Mostly, what she needed was the one thing that she didn’t have. Someone who would listen and maybe give her advice based off of what would be best for her.
Not the old biases that Jaxie held from all the times she and Nero’s ex-boyfriend Tom Pendergrass had gone toe to toe. Her whole family would be no different. There wasn’t really anyone else to talk to… she’d never been very good at making friends.
“I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” she lied, taking another swipe at the bag. They’d been here all morning but none of it had calmed the rabid butterflies in her stomach. It had been too long since she’d been in a wrestling ring and while logic told her that she was in the best physical shape she’d ever been… the handful of MMA wins under her belt telling her that she was in peak condition… the nerves told her that she’d fail. She’d make herself look like an idiot.
Jaxie sighed. “You fucked your ex, we need to talk about this.”
A little, unrecognizable flurry of anger sparked and crackled like lightning up her spine. “Jaxie, I love you… but every little part of my life doesn’t need you and Journie and mom to weigh in on it and tell me what’s right and what’s wrong, okay?” The words barely sounded like her and she paused for a moment before she pushed on, “And you don’t get to judge what I do, okay?”
She almost apologized right after the last word left her mouth, Jaxie looked chastened and she was chewing on her bottom lip like she always did when something got past the armor she wore that Nero had always envied. Her big sisters were so much tougher than she’d ever be.
Maybe it had been her own fault for admitting it in the first place but she still wasn’t sure how she felt about it, and to have Jaxie rip into her for it… she was already a mess of nerves. She was like a bucket that was already most of the way full and any little thing could make it spill over.
“I’m sorry,” Nero blurted out, even though she wasn’t sure she even should be, but she couldn’t handle the hurt in Jaxie’s eyes. “I should maybe… go get showered…”
She didn’t wait for a response before she practically sprinted towards the shower rooms. Dragging her bag out from the locker she’d wedged it in, she bit her lip. She couldn’t pretend that she didn’t know why Jaxie was so worried, she’d been a mess when she and Tom had broken up. She’d spent close to a month living in Brandon Banks’ closet because she couldn’t face the world.
It had felt like everyone had known that her boyfriend, the father of her children, had cheated on her. Even though, she knew, logically that they probably hadn’t. Or, at least, they probably hadn’t until he’d immediately turned around starting dating her.
The whole thing left her sick to her stomach and she couldn’t get the night that he’d shown up at her door, looking for… she wasn’t really sure what it was he was looking for when he’d told her that he’d slept with Ellie Barrerra. His “she’s just a friend, Nero” training partner.
Now, he was hanging around when he picked up the kids. Telling her that he missed her, he’d broken up with Ellie because he made a mistake and god, she still missed him. She didn’t want to. She wanted to hate him but she couldn’t no matter how hard she’d tried. He’d begged her for a chance, to at least keep an open mind, before he’d kissed her.
She slammed the locker door a little bit harder than she needed to because his timing was godawful. She was nervous enough about stepping into the ring again in FGA and now he’d showed up, ripping her all apart inside and making her even more turned around and confused. Just when she’d started to be okay standing on her own two feet, pushing the hurt back somewhere deep and dark.
“Mothertrucker,” she hissed as she stepped under the hot spray. “Why the butter becan fudge ripple does he have to do this now?!”
The shower head didn’t have any answers for her.
------------------------------
“Herrow dere,” Nero chirped, waving one hand with a little too much exuberance as she tries to get a hold of her nerves and what feels like rabid raccoons rolling around in her stomach. “I’ve watched the show since my sister was dating that big bag of poop, Dom Harter.”
She frowns, wondering if she should edit that part out. Even if she didn’t really like Dom, she knew a lot of people did. And it probably wasn’t the nicest to call someone a bag of poop on air. Even if she was pretty sure only a handful of people would watch this once she posted it to youtube. Maybe half of those people would be her own family.
“Scratch that,” she said, nodding resolutely as she made a mental note to edit her insult out. “So, herrow dere. I’m a Newo. Apparently yew guise have already got a Newo, but I’m a better Newo.”
She paused, her full lips twisting into a little bit of a frown, “Okay, that wasn’t nice. I don’t know your existing Newo, so he might be okay but I might be a little better?” She grumbles a little… she’d never met anyone else who shared a name with her much like she’d never been able to find her name on those personalized pencils in gift shops as a kid. And of course, when she was so worried about making a good impression during her first match in an FGA ring… there was another Nero. Ruining everything.
She scrunched her nose a little. “I’m kinda considering challenging him to a death match. THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE. Loser dies and is dead.” She wrinkles her nose again, considering that she hadn’t seen one of the other Nero’s matches yet, it was entirely possible that this plan could backfire on her horribly. “Or… maybe… anyway, one step at a time.”
She quickly brushed the potential challenge aside, deciding to focus on what was important and maybe also watch a few of this other Nero’s matches before she decided to take it to the death.
“So, I’m kinda nervous,” she chirped, turning her attention back to the camera blinking spastically in front of her. “I mean, really nervous. M’not gonna lie to youuu, since we’re gonna be best fwends soon. I was kinda expecting to, like, be all… on the bottom of the card maybe not even televised yet. Like, some dark matches and stuff. But then I looked and I was kinda… it was just wow.” She bites her bottom lip nervously, “Not just the fact that Danny Diamond is my tag team partner and I’ve kinda only ever had Jaxie, my sister, as my tag team partner… that part makes me nervous. Because, like, what if I look really dumb and I make us lose and he hates me after that??”
She sighs, shaking her head as her bright blue hair swishes around her face. “No, wait… I didn’t mean that we were gonna lose just like…”
She trails off, frustrated, as her words jumble and come out wrong. “Anyway, I’m just saying I dun really wanna look stupid in front of Danny Diamond. He’s a former champion and stuffers and I’m kind of just… well, I mean I won matches… a lot of them and I won most of my MMA fights and everything but he’s just… I’ve never held a title before. And so anyone who has… I kinda…”
Nero grits her teeth, her words coming out all wrong and gush-y as she talks about her soon-to-be partner. “I just know there’s a lot riding on this. Not so much for Danny but for me. Not that I think he doesn’t care if he wins or anything like that but just… this is the first time you’re really seeing my face outside of KWI once upon a time and MLC. I love MMA fighting, I do… it’s kind of fun to learn a different discipline, to kind of work within the confines of that when you’ve got a wrestling background. But I miss the ring and I miss wrestling and I want to finally put into practice everything that KWI taught me. But most of y’all don’t know me and you don’t care who I am. So I’ve gotta make you care, that’s my job now. And I really wanna make a good first impression and I can’t do that if my back is down on the mat like I just got popped and I wasn’t wearin’ a vest.”
She nods, mostly to herself, obviously pleased that her words are coming out something more like English. “I’m excited but like… the butterflies in my tummy are less like butterflies and more like rabid raccoons fighting each other.
I think it’s because not only do I have all this pressure to look okay out there so I don’t embarrass Mr. Diamond but I also gotta face two people who I know are really, reaalllyyyyy good inside of the ring. I think maybe the only thing that could make me more nervous is facing Ms. Cindy or if Ms. Cordy were to come back and be like el oh el, your first match is with me. I think I’d probably like… choke and die. On my own tongue and stuff.”
She scrunches her nose again, “I’m sorry. That was a gross mental image. Buuut, I mean, Ai and Mr. Rottentreats are really good. I’ve watched tapes until my eyeballs feel like they’re gonna start bleeding, so believe me when I say I know what I’m up against. And I know that they don’t care that this is my first match back in a reaaaaalllyyyy long time and I know that they don’t care how nervous I am… why would they? I’m their opponent and the more scared I am stepping into the ring the better things work out for them.
But maybe, just maybe, the part where this is do or die for me comes in handy. Cause I gotta wonder how important this is to them when there isn’t really nothing but a win at stake. I’ve watched people when they’ve been in the business for a long time and after a while the little stuff like this doesn’t really matter to ‘em anymore. They don’t really care a whole lot unless there’s a title involved or it’s against someone a little more important Nero J. Darling.
I dunno if that’s the case here but I can kinda hope that it is. Because to me this isn’t just another match and it’s not ho hum because there isn’t a belt at the end of it for me. All I’ve got to lose is my reputation and that means more to me than most people know.
I got a whole family of wrestlers and fighters that don’t take a loss lying down…” she hesitates, nearly face palming, “No pun intended. But y’know what I mean. They’re gonna be watching and I’ve got a lot to live up to. My mama still has my granddaddy’s belts that he won in the house and I grew up looking at them every day. So losing to me means, like, making my whole family look bad.
Winning to me means letting people like Mr. Diamond down.
I’m not gonna let anyone down. I’m gonna be doing my best to put everything I have into it.”
A pause stretches out as Nero studies the camera, finally deciding that she’s satisfied with the whole thing, which would have probably sounded way more coherent if she’d remembered to edit it before uploading it to youtube.
------------------------------------
The match played out soundlessly on the television across from her, blue lights flicking off of the walls and ceiling as she cuddled up in the soft throw blanket. A Target splurge, since even though she had plenty of money sitting in her bank account from her HKW days and her winner’s bonus in MLC, she was more used to living hand to mouth than spending money.
She had two children to look after on her own, anyway. It was better to have more than less because one day there would be braces and school clothes and college and she was doing it all on her own.
You don’t have to do it on your own the little voice in the back of her head muttered but she tried to ignore it and refocus on the FGA show playing out on the screen. She’d already been back through five months of shows over the past week, this time watching them less as a fan and more with a keen eye to strategy.
The last thing she needed or wanted to go over was what had had happened with Tom and how she’d ended up in bed with him again.
Rolling over, she pressed the button to unmute the television, hoping that the commentators excited play by plays would drown out her inner thoughts. And a little bit because it didn’t feel right when the house was so quiet. The twins weren’t down the hall trying to wiggle out of bedtime by claiming everything from monsters under the bed to bunnies in the closet and of course, they needed a glass of water.
Every five minutes.
She couldn’t lie to herself, she was a little nervous about what happened when he dropped them off on Friday. She kept telling herself that this was the only time something like that would happen. She wouldn’t end up in bed with him again, she wouldn’t forgive him. Or maybe, she had already forgiven him because she couldn’t carry that hate around with her anymore, but she’d never be able to forget.
That would eat them up eventually, even if she were willing to give him another chance.
Frustrated, she pushed herself to her feet and padded into the kitchen, grabbing a pint of vegan coconut milk ice cream and a spoon. She kept going around in circles with these thoughts because on the one hand, he’d been her only real boyfriend. He’d been the only man she’d ever loved, honestly. The idea of going back to him felt good; the safety and stability and maybe more importantly the way part of her was still hopelessly in love with him even now. The logical, hurting side of her knew that maybe it would work at first… maybe for the first month or two even, but after that… she’d never be able to really let go of the pain.
She’d just thrown herself back down onto the couch when her phone vibrated from somewhere in the covers. Digging around and unearthing the buzzing device, she sighed softly. Tom’s name filled the screen and she toyed with it. On the phone hand, she should answer it because he had her children with him and that mama bear in her was worried that something had happened but…
She clicked the phone button to disconnect the call. If it were the kids, he’d call back. If it weren’t…
The phone stayed silent in her lap and she mentally patted herself on the back for making the right decision. Lounging back against the couch, she turned back to the show and pushed him out of her head.
He spun her around too much and right now she needed to be grounded, both feet on the ground.
Nero’s cheeks went bright red and she gritted her teeth, suddenly wishing that her messy blue hair wasn’t reigned back into a ponytail at the moment so that she could duck behind her. Her eyes darted rapidly over to where her uncle and trainer was working with her cousins on some ground techniques a few feet away. “Not so loud,” she hissed.
“Sorry.” But she didn’t really sound all that sorry. She mostly sounded incredulous and that wasn’t what Nero needed. Mostly, what she needed was the one thing that she didn’t have. Someone who would listen and maybe give her advice based off of what would be best for her.
Not the old biases that Jaxie held from all the times she and Nero’s ex-boyfriend Tom Pendergrass had gone toe to toe. Her whole family would be no different. There wasn’t really anyone else to talk to… she’d never been very good at making friends.
“I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” she lied, taking another swipe at the bag. They’d been here all morning but none of it had calmed the rabid butterflies in her stomach. It had been too long since she’d been in a wrestling ring and while logic told her that she was in the best physical shape she’d ever been… the handful of MMA wins under her belt telling her that she was in peak condition… the nerves told her that she’d fail. She’d make herself look like an idiot.
Jaxie sighed. “You fucked your ex, we need to talk about this.”
A little, unrecognizable flurry of anger sparked and crackled like lightning up her spine. “Jaxie, I love you… but every little part of my life doesn’t need you and Journie and mom to weigh in on it and tell me what’s right and what’s wrong, okay?” The words barely sounded like her and she paused for a moment before she pushed on, “And you don’t get to judge what I do, okay?”
She almost apologized right after the last word left her mouth, Jaxie looked chastened and she was chewing on her bottom lip like she always did when something got past the armor she wore that Nero had always envied. Her big sisters were so much tougher than she’d ever be.
Maybe it had been her own fault for admitting it in the first place but she still wasn’t sure how she felt about it, and to have Jaxie rip into her for it… she was already a mess of nerves. She was like a bucket that was already most of the way full and any little thing could make it spill over.
“I’m sorry,” Nero blurted out, even though she wasn’t sure she even should be, but she couldn’t handle the hurt in Jaxie’s eyes. “I should maybe… go get showered…”
She didn’t wait for a response before she practically sprinted towards the shower rooms. Dragging her bag out from the locker she’d wedged it in, she bit her lip. She couldn’t pretend that she didn’t know why Jaxie was so worried, she’d been a mess when she and Tom had broken up. She’d spent close to a month living in Brandon Banks’ closet because she couldn’t face the world.
It had felt like everyone had known that her boyfriend, the father of her children, had cheated on her. Even though, she knew, logically that they probably hadn’t. Or, at least, they probably hadn’t until he’d immediately turned around starting dating her.
The whole thing left her sick to her stomach and she couldn’t get the night that he’d shown up at her door, looking for… she wasn’t really sure what it was he was looking for when he’d told her that he’d slept with Ellie Barrerra. His “she’s just a friend, Nero” training partner.
Now, he was hanging around when he picked up the kids. Telling her that he missed her, he’d broken up with Ellie because he made a mistake and god, she still missed him. She didn’t want to. She wanted to hate him but she couldn’t no matter how hard she’d tried. He’d begged her for a chance, to at least keep an open mind, before he’d kissed her.
She slammed the locker door a little bit harder than she needed to because his timing was godawful. She was nervous enough about stepping into the ring again in FGA and now he’d showed up, ripping her all apart inside and making her even more turned around and confused. Just when she’d started to be okay standing on her own two feet, pushing the hurt back somewhere deep and dark.
“Mothertrucker,” she hissed as she stepped under the hot spray. “Why the butter becan fudge ripple does he have to do this now?!”
The shower head didn’t have any answers for her.
------------------------------
“Herrow dere,” Nero chirped, waving one hand with a little too much exuberance as she tries to get a hold of her nerves and what feels like rabid raccoons rolling around in her stomach. “I’ve watched the show since my sister was dating that big bag of poop, Dom Harter.”
She frowns, wondering if she should edit that part out. Even if she didn’t really like Dom, she knew a lot of people did. And it probably wasn’t the nicest to call someone a bag of poop on air. Even if she was pretty sure only a handful of people would watch this once she posted it to youtube. Maybe half of those people would be her own family.
“Scratch that,” she said, nodding resolutely as she made a mental note to edit her insult out. “So, herrow dere. I’m a Newo. Apparently yew guise have already got a Newo, but I’m a better Newo.”
She paused, her full lips twisting into a little bit of a frown, “Okay, that wasn’t nice. I don’t know your existing Newo, so he might be okay but I might be a little better?” She grumbles a little… she’d never met anyone else who shared a name with her much like she’d never been able to find her name on those personalized pencils in gift shops as a kid. And of course, when she was so worried about making a good impression during her first match in an FGA ring… there was another Nero. Ruining everything.
She scrunched her nose a little. “I’m kinda considering challenging him to a death match. THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE. Loser dies and is dead.” She wrinkles her nose again, considering that she hadn’t seen one of the other Nero’s matches yet, it was entirely possible that this plan could backfire on her horribly. “Or… maybe… anyway, one step at a time.”
She quickly brushed the potential challenge aside, deciding to focus on what was important and maybe also watch a few of this other Nero’s matches before she decided to take it to the death.
“So, I’m kinda nervous,” she chirped, turning her attention back to the camera blinking spastically in front of her. “I mean, really nervous. M’not gonna lie to youuu, since we’re gonna be best fwends soon. I was kinda expecting to, like, be all… on the bottom of the card maybe not even televised yet. Like, some dark matches and stuff. But then I looked and I was kinda… it was just wow.” She bites her bottom lip nervously, “Not just the fact that Danny Diamond is my tag team partner and I’ve kinda only ever had Jaxie, my sister, as my tag team partner… that part makes me nervous. Because, like, what if I look really dumb and I make us lose and he hates me after that??”
She sighs, shaking her head as her bright blue hair swishes around her face. “No, wait… I didn’t mean that we were gonna lose just like…”
She trails off, frustrated, as her words jumble and come out wrong. “Anyway, I’m just saying I dun really wanna look stupid in front of Danny Diamond. He’s a former champion and stuffers and I’m kind of just… well, I mean I won matches… a lot of them and I won most of my MMA fights and everything but he’s just… I’ve never held a title before. And so anyone who has… I kinda…”
Nero grits her teeth, her words coming out all wrong and gush-y as she talks about her soon-to-be partner. “I just know there’s a lot riding on this. Not so much for Danny but for me. Not that I think he doesn’t care if he wins or anything like that but just… this is the first time you’re really seeing my face outside of KWI once upon a time and MLC. I love MMA fighting, I do… it’s kind of fun to learn a different discipline, to kind of work within the confines of that when you’ve got a wrestling background. But I miss the ring and I miss wrestling and I want to finally put into practice everything that KWI taught me. But most of y’all don’t know me and you don’t care who I am. So I’ve gotta make you care, that’s my job now. And I really wanna make a good first impression and I can’t do that if my back is down on the mat like I just got popped and I wasn’t wearin’ a vest.”
She nods, mostly to herself, obviously pleased that her words are coming out something more like English. “I’m excited but like… the butterflies in my tummy are less like butterflies and more like rabid raccoons fighting each other.
I think it’s because not only do I have all this pressure to look okay out there so I don’t embarrass Mr. Diamond but I also gotta face two people who I know are really, reaalllyyyyy good inside of the ring. I think maybe the only thing that could make me more nervous is facing Ms. Cindy or if Ms. Cordy were to come back and be like el oh el, your first match is with me. I think I’d probably like… choke and die. On my own tongue and stuff.”
She scrunches her nose again, “I’m sorry. That was a gross mental image. Buuut, I mean, Ai and Mr. Rottentreats are really good. I’ve watched tapes until my eyeballs feel like they’re gonna start bleeding, so believe me when I say I know what I’m up against. And I know that they don’t care that this is my first match back in a reaaaaalllyyyy long time and I know that they don’t care how nervous I am… why would they? I’m their opponent and the more scared I am stepping into the ring the better things work out for them.
But maybe, just maybe, the part where this is do or die for me comes in handy. Cause I gotta wonder how important this is to them when there isn’t really nothing but a win at stake. I’ve watched people when they’ve been in the business for a long time and after a while the little stuff like this doesn’t really matter to ‘em anymore. They don’t really care a whole lot unless there’s a title involved or it’s against someone a little more important Nero J. Darling.
I dunno if that’s the case here but I can kinda hope that it is. Because to me this isn’t just another match and it’s not ho hum because there isn’t a belt at the end of it for me. All I’ve got to lose is my reputation and that means more to me than most people know.
I got a whole family of wrestlers and fighters that don’t take a loss lying down…” she hesitates, nearly face palming, “No pun intended. But y’know what I mean. They’re gonna be watching and I’ve got a lot to live up to. My mama still has my granddaddy’s belts that he won in the house and I grew up looking at them every day. So losing to me means, like, making my whole family look bad.
Winning to me means letting people like Mr. Diamond down.
I’m not gonna let anyone down. I’m gonna be doing my best to put everything I have into it.”
A pause stretches out as Nero studies the camera, finally deciding that she’s satisfied with the whole thing, which would have probably sounded way more coherent if she’d remembered to edit it before uploading it to youtube.
------------------------------------
The match played out soundlessly on the television across from her, blue lights flicking off of the walls and ceiling as she cuddled up in the soft throw blanket. A Target splurge, since even though she had plenty of money sitting in her bank account from her HKW days and her winner’s bonus in MLC, she was more used to living hand to mouth than spending money.
She had two children to look after on her own, anyway. It was better to have more than less because one day there would be braces and school clothes and college and she was doing it all on her own.
You don’t have to do it on your own the little voice in the back of her head muttered but she tried to ignore it and refocus on the FGA show playing out on the screen. She’d already been back through five months of shows over the past week, this time watching them less as a fan and more with a keen eye to strategy.
The last thing she needed or wanted to go over was what had had happened with Tom and how she’d ended up in bed with him again.
Rolling over, she pressed the button to unmute the television, hoping that the commentators excited play by plays would drown out her inner thoughts. And a little bit because it didn’t feel right when the house was so quiet. The twins weren’t down the hall trying to wiggle out of bedtime by claiming everything from monsters under the bed to bunnies in the closet and of course, they needed a glass of water.
Every five minutes.
She couldn’t lie to herself, she was a little nervous about what happened when he dropped them off on Friday. She kept telling herself that this was the only time something like that would happen. She wouldn’t end up in bed with him again, she wouldn’t forgive him. Or maybe, she had already forgiven him because she couldn’t carry that hate around with her anymore, but she’d never be able to forget.
That would eat them up eventually, even if she were willing to give him another chance.
Frustrated, she pushed herself to her feet and padded into the kitchen, grabbing a pint of vegan coconut milk ice cream and a spoon. She kept going around in circles with these thoughts because on the one hand, he’d been her only real boyfriend. He’d been the only man she’d ever loved, honestly. The idea of going back to him felt good; the safety and stability and maybe more importantly the way part of her was still hopelessly in love with him even now. The logical, hurting side of her knew that maybe it would work at first… maybe for the first month or two even, but after that… she’d never be able to really let go of the pain.
She’d just thrown herself back down onto the couch when her phone vibrated from somewhere in the covers. Digging around and unearthing the buzzing device, she sighed softly. Tom’s name filled the screen and she toyed with it. On the phone hand, she should answer it because he had her children with him and that mama bear in her was worried that something had happened but…
She clicked the phone button to disconnect the call. If it were the kids, he’d call back. If it weren’t…
The phone stayed silent in her lap and she mentally patted herself on the back for making the right decision. Lounging back against the couch, she turned back to the show and pushed him out of her head.
He spun her around too much and right now she needed to be grounded, both feet on the ground.