Tranquilo
Sept 13, 2015 22:26:22 GMT -5
Post by sasso on Sept 13, 2015 22:26:22 GMT -5
OOC: Word Count 696
---
Skylar is sitting by a Koi Pond, bearing the usual cheery grin on her face. She waves, and takes a deep breath.
Well hey there everyone, I hope you've all been remembering to reach for the Skylar since I saw you last.
Nobody has.
I know some of you might see my last outing as a bit of a setback for me, but I'm proud of all the little buggers here. My brilliant motivational tactics worked, and Cisqo was able to use the techniques of P.M.S. and T.S.S. to pin someone, who wasn't me I might add. Not only that, Enema Lamp wasn't quite as disappointing as usual- yaaay!!!
She enthusiastically claps her hands at the absolute line of bullshit she spewed.
Sure I would have liked to get the win, but I know I'm the real winner because I was a good role model. Anyhoo, I'd just like to clear one thing up though. People seem to have this silly, silly, idea that I don't know what the title around here is called. Trying to push my buttons, making fun of me, like they don't want me to be so positive. Well that won't work, because I AM A POSITIVE PERSON AND RAY OF SUNSHINE IN A BLEAK DESOLATE POST APOCALYPTIC LANDSCAPE GODDAMNIT!
Her shrill yell causes the pond to ripple, before she takes a deep breath.
Anyways, just a friendly clearing up! I know that some people call that the Apex Championship, but this is a den of lions! Lions run in prides, so I'm going to keep calling it the Pride Championship, and have the bravery not to use its slave name! Now, onto this next match I've got, we have a real firecracker named Emily. I heard she had some requests about what she does or doesn't want me to do, which all sounds pretty boring. But, pesky details aside, I think I'm going to have to make that a no. See, it's really for her own good; she needs to learn that in this business you don't always get what you want, and you have to cope with adversity!
Oh, I know she can deal with some kinds of it, she was a star in the first try out camp I hear! Which is what makes her self-sabotage so sad! She has the tools to be super great, but she lives in some true denial. See, I saw her tweet once that cheaters never prosper. And she knows as well as I do, that's just not true! She's from Massachussetts, so has to have seen firsthand the success of the New England Patriots, and Boston Red Sex using proven steroid cheats Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz to break their world series drought!
Cheaters DO prosper, and the proper way to deal with it is rise above and take the high road, instead of constantly getting on your soapbox to turn this moral high ground into a platform for petty soap opera catfights! Oh sure, that Baroness might have done her wrong faking a shoulder injury, but they were going at it way before that. She's only hurting herself by ALLOWING this Baroness to be a distraction from her learning, and for letting their arguments with have more sexual tension than the fan fiction written about those two be what people truly remember about her, not what she does in her super magical wrestling journey.
She's only hurting herself, there's so many people here who haven't let this Baroness do a Crimjob on their mind, and pull them into drama. So the only choice I have is to hurt her, so she learns to stop hurting herself; like acupuncture with my feet, it's very therapeutic! She might not want my help, but she's constantly bantering with or about the trainers on twitter it seems so she clearly doesn't know what's best for her. I'm going to elevate her to greater heights! The state of North Carolina won't have seen someone raise up like that, since their most talented export Petey Pablo told everyone to spin their shirt around their head like a helicopter.
She just has to reach for the Skylar!
Fin.
---
Skylar is sitting by a Koi Pond, bearing the usual cheery grin on her face. She waves, and takes a deep breath.
Well hey there everyone, I hope you've all been remembering to reach for the Skylar since I saw you last.
Nobody has.
I know some of you might see my last outing as a bit of a setback for me, but I'm proud of all the little buggers here. My brilliant motivational tactics worked, and Cisqo was able to use the techniques of P.M.S. and T.S.S. to pin someone, who wasn't me I might add. Not only that, Enema Lamp wasn't quite as disappointing as usual- yaaay!!!
She enthusiastically claps her hands at the absolute line of bullshit she spewed.
Sure I would have liked to get the win, but I know I'm the real winner because I was a good role model. Anyhoo, I'd just like to clear one thing up though. People seem to have this silly, silly, idea that I don't know what the title around here is called. Trying to push my buttons, making fun of me, like they don't want me to be so positive. Well that won't work, because I AM A POSITIVE PERSON AND RAY OF SUNSHINE IN A BLEAK DESOLATE POST APOCALYPTIC LANDSCAPE GODDAMNIT!
Her shrill yell causes the pond to ripple, before she takes a deep breath.
Anyways, just a friendly clearing up! I know that some people call that the Apex Championship, but this is a den of lions! Lions run in prides, so I'm going to keep calling it the Pride Championship, and have the bravery not to use its slave name! Now, onto this next match I've got, we have a real firecracker named Emily. I heard she had some requests about what she does or doesn't want me to do, which all sounds pretty boring. But, pesky details aside, I think I'm going to have to make that a no. See, it's really for her own good; she needs to learn that in this business you don't always get what you want, and you have to cope with adversity!
Oh, I know she can deal with some kinds of it, she was a star in the first try out camp I hear! Which is what makes her self-sabotage so sad! She has the tools to be super great, but she lives in some true denial. See, I saw her tweet once that cheaters never prosper. And she knows as well as I do, that's just not true! She's from Massachussetts, so has to have seen firsthand the success of the New England Patriots, and Boston Red Sex using proven steroid cheats Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz to break their world series drought!
Cheaters DO prosper, and the proper way to deal with it is rise above and take the high road, instead of constantly getting on your soapbox to turn this moral high ground into a platform for petty soap opera catfights! Oh sure, that Baroness might have done her wrong faking a shoulder injury, but they were going at it way before that. She's only hurting herself by ALLOWING this Baroness to be a distraction from her learning, and for letting their arguments with have more sexual tension than the fan fiction written about those two be what people truly remember about her, not what she does in her super magical wrestling journey.
She's only hurting herself, there's so many people here who haven't let this Baroness do a Crimjob on their mind, and pull them into drama. So the only choice I have is to hurt her, so she learns to stop hurting herself; like acupuncture with my feet, it's very therapeutic! She might not want my help, but she's constantly bantering with or about the trainers on twitter it seems so she clearly doesn't know what's best for her. I'm going to elevate her to greater heights! The state of North Carolina won't have seen someone raise up like that, since their most talented export Petey Pablo told everyone to spin their shirt around their head like a helicopter.
She just has to reach for the Skylar!
Fin.