Not Impressed (Body Shotz RP #1 v J. Tarzanna & E. Leights)
Jul 20, 2015 7:23:37 GMT -5
Post by British Body Shotz on Jul 20, 2015 7:23:37 GMT -5
The latest video uploaded to the Lion's Den website opens with handheld footage of an athletic blonde exercising on a rowing machine, as a voice encourages her from off-camera:
'Keep it up, bae...don't give up...keep going...'
As the woman redoubles her efforts, a male gym member is seen walking in her general direction, immediately prompting her and her friend to snap:
'Ew! Get lost!'
The man walks off, dejected, as the blonde groans:
'Ugh. I can't even get my workout on 'cause I have to deal with these losers!'
A sudden burst of buzzing cuts her off, causing her to momentarily halt her rowing.
'Hold up.' The woman reaches towards a nearby bench to retrieve her iPhone. A couple of quick swipes later, her nose wrinkles in disgust, as she mutters: '….no.'
She turns to the camera, her face contorting with revulsion. 'No. No. NO. Ew. What the hell is this?! Are they for-real joking right now?'
The woman stands up and paces towards the camera. 'We wait for like a month for a match on your stupid little show, having to watch a bunch of disgusting slobs running around making everything gross, and this is the best you can come up with?' She turns her phone towards the camera, pointing at the screen indignantly. 'Some grade-schooler and a six-foot freakazoid who thinks she's from the jungle? Is this, like, a carnival sideshow or something? Ew!'
'I heard the jungle troll is, like, a Champion somewhere or whatever', her faceless friend points out, causing the woman's features to once again contort.
'Seriously? Ugh.' The blonde waves a dismissive hand. 'Whatever. At least she's in shape. Not like her partner, shoving those gross donuts into her mouth...!'
The two women have a quick moment of shared revulsion before the one in frame continues:
'For real, though...'Joanna Jane Tarzanna?' That's seriously your name? So, what, instead of 'me Tarzan, you Jane' is it like 'me Tarzan, me Jane?'
The duo share a mean-spirited giggle as the main speaker adds:
'And Endee Leights?! You 'end delights'? Is that 'cause you're so ugly that when you show up, suddenly guys can't get it up anymore? Is it like...' The woman stands up and begins to crudely simulate intercourse. 'Oh, honey, yeah, that's it, don't st--huh?! Ewwwww! ...um, sorry bae!'
A mocking pout is met with more giggles, as the camerawoman offers up some more useful information:
'I heard they totally don't get along either...'
'Oh, really?' Her friend giggles. 'This is gonna be, like, even easier than I thought.'
Her expression then hardens, as she addresses her and her partner's inaugural opponents:
'Listen up, you freaks! I don't care how you think you're gonna work as a team. There's no way you can beat me and bae. We're super-used to working together. You two rejects don't even like one another. I don't know what the company thought the point of this match was or whatever, but like, all they did was make life easier for us. Once we crush your disgusting flabby asses on Wednesday, everybody's totally gonna know our name. So you better start learning it, too.'
The woman places a hand on her chest. 'I'm Darci...'
She then points at the camera. '...she's Danni. Together, we're...'
Her partner joins in from off-camera to chant the team name:
'...BODY SHOTZ!!!'
'Remember that.'
The blonde gets in one last smirk before the feed cuts off.
Final Word Count: 574
'Keep it up, bae...don't give up...keep going...'
As the woman redoubles her efforts, a male gym member is seen walking in her general direction, immediately prompting her and her friend to snap:
'Ew! Get lost!'
The man walks off, dejected, as the blonde groans:
'Ugh. I can't even get my workout on 'cause I have to deal with these losers!'
A sudden burst of buzzing cuts her off, causing her to momentarily halt her rowing.
'Hold up.' The woman reaches towards a nearby bench to retrieve her iPhone. A couple of quick swipes later, her nose wrinkles in disgust, as she mutters: '….no.'
She turns to the camera, her face contorting with revulsion. 'No. No. NO. Ew. What the hell is this?! Are they for-real joking right now?'
The woman stands up and paces towards the camera. 'We wait for like a month for a match on your stupid little show, having to watch a bunch of disgusting slobs running around making everything gross, and this is the best you can come up with?' She turns her phone towards the camera, pointing at the screen indignantly. 'Some grade-schooler and a six-foot freakazoid who thinks she's from the jungle? Is this, like, a carnival sideshow or something? Ew!'
'I heard the jungle troll is, like, a Champion somewhere or whatever', her faceless friend points out, causing the woman's features to once again contort.
'Seriously? Ugh.' The blonde waves a dismissive hand. 'Whatever. At least she's in shape. Not like her partner, shoving those gross donuts into her mouth...!'
The two women have a quick moment of shared revulsion before the one in frame continues:
'For real, though...'Joanna Jane Tarzanna?' That's seriously your name? So, what, instead of 'me Tarzan, you Jane' is it like 'me Tarzan, me Jane?'
The duo share a mean-spirited giggle as the main speaker adds:
'And Endee Leights?! You 'end delights'? Is that 'cause you're so ugly that when you show up, suddenly guys can't get it up anymore? Is it like...' The woman stands up and begins to crudely simulate intercourse. 'Oh, honey, yeah, that's it, don't st--huh?! Ewwwww! ...um, sorry bae!'
A mocking pout is met with more giggles, as the camerawoman offers up some more useful information:
'I heard they totally don't get along either...'
'Oh, really?' Her friend giggles. 'This is gonna be, like, even easier than I thought.'
Her expression then hardens, as she addresses her and her partner's inaugural opponents:
'Listen up, you freaks! I don't care how you think you're gonna work as a team. There's no way you can beat me and bae. We're super-used to working together. You two rejects don't even like one another. I don't know what the company thought the point of this match was or whatever, but like, all they did was make life easier for us. Once we crush your disgusting flabby asses on Wednesday, everybody's totally gonna know our name. So you better start learning it, too.'
The woman places a hand on her chest. 'I'm Darci...'
She then points at the camera. '...she's Danni. Together, we're...'
Her partner joins in from off-camera to chant the team name:
'...BODY SHOTZ!!!'
'Remember that.'
The blonde gets in one last smirk before the feed cuts off.
Final Word Count: 574
