I HATE TREES!!!!!!!!!
Jul 6, 2015 4:35:39 GMT -5
Post by Perello on Jul 6, 2015 4:35:39 GMT -5
“I REEAAAAAAALLY don’t understand what your fascination with these stupid things is!”
MacRear began outside his Hollywood home, laying on a hammock while staring blankly at a tree.
“It’s like you’re one with these disgusting things. NEST BELONGS TO NATURE LADIES AND GERMS! And you know what?! You could see it! Nest is a big, ugly, bushy looking thing JUST like this tree!”
The Sultan pushed himself off the hammock and walked toward the tree. He pulled his sunglasses from his face and hung them up on his white t-shirt.
“The resemblance is clear to anyone with two eyes and a brain that could tell the difference between PRETTY and NASTY. Me? I’M PRETTY! I’m pretty just like those roses over there!”
He pointed his finger across the yard, the cameraman turning around to zoom in on the roses MacRear was pointing towards.
“DID I TELL YOU TO TAKE THE CAMERA OFF OF ME?! I DON’T THINK I DID, STUPID! FOCUS BACK HERE!”
And the cameraman turned back to MacRear shining off his patent duckface.
“AND THIS TREE?! THIS TREE IS UGLY JUST LIKE NEST! PEOPLE WANT TO SAY THAT TREES ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THINGS THIS WORLD CREATES, BUT IT’S ONLY BECAUSE MOST OF THE WORLD HAS YET TO FEAST THEIR EYES ON… MEEEEEEEE! PRINCE MACREAR! THE REAL APEX CHAMPION, AND UNCROWNED EMPEROR OF LDFC!!!!!!”
He clapped his hands excitedly and shined off his pearly white teeth.
“BUT I WON’T BE UNCROWNED FOR LONG, WILL I, NEST?! YOU SEE, WHEN I SPOKE BEFORE I WANTED PEOPLE TO GET A GOOD UNDERSTANDING OF HOW FAR I’VE COME, AND HOW LONG OF A ROAD IT’S BEEN FOR THE SULTAN. I WANTED TO LOWER MYSELF TO THE LEVEL OF PEOPLE LIKE NEST. PEOPLE LIKE ALL THE DISGUSTING CREATURES THAT INHABIT LDFC, AND THE NASTIES THAT WATCH IT. I WANTED PEOPLE TO REALIZE THAT I’M NOT ALL SELFIES AND BEAUTY PRODUCTS. I HAVE BEEN WORKING MY MACREAR OFF JUST AS HARD, IF NOT HARDER THAN ANYONE ELSE IN THE COMPANY!!!”
He tilted his head a bit to the side, still staring directly at the camera in front of him.
“But people want to ignore that. People want to think that I don’t train my buns off just because I don’t waste my time with the stupid LDFC trainers or their stupid gym! LOOK AT ME, NASTIES! DO I LOOK LIKE SOMEONE WHO TRAINS WITH FILTH?! SOMEONE WHO GETS POINTERS FROM WRESTLERS WHO WERE NEVER THAT GOOD IN THE FIRST PLACE?! NOOOOOOOO!!!!! I’M DIFFERENT, LADIES AND GERMS. AND BECAUSE I’M DIFFERENT...nasties wanna hold that against me.”
He straightened out his neck, and glanced over at the tree.
“And I’m sick of it. Nest, you’ve already proven your ignorance towards me. You’re one of the pieces of dookey that make fun of me because I take care of MY TEMPLE, WHILE YOU WALK AROUND LOOKING LIKE A HOBO WHO MISSED THE BUS TO THE NEXT FREAK SHOW! I’M TIRED OF NEST, AND I’M TIRED OF ALL THESE NASTIES WHO TOLD ME THAT I’D NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING IN THIS SPORT! AT PRIDE, I’M GOING TO BE THE REALLY REAL APEX CHAMPION, AND THERE’S NOTHING ANYONE CAN DO TO STOP ME!!!!!!!!”
He spun around, the sound of a zipper being pulled down coming through the camera.
“Enough words. Just action now. Wanna see what I think of Nest?”
He walked forward and reached into his pants.
“This is what I think about Nest, AND THIS STUPID TREE!”
He whipped out his...MacFront, and started urinating on the tree until the picture turned to static.
MacRear began outside his Hollywood home, laying on a hammock while staring blankly at a tree.
“It’s like you’re one with these disgusting things. NEST BELONGS TO NATURE LADIES AND GERMS! And you know what?! You could see it! Nest is a big, ugly, bushy looking thing JUST like this tree!”
The Sultan pushed himself off the hammock and walked toward the tree. He pulled his sunglasses from his face and hung them up on his white t-shirt.
“The resemblance is clear to anyone with two eyes and a brain that could tell the difference between PRETTY and NASTY. Me? I’M PRETTY! I’m pretty just like those roses over there!”
He pointed his finger across the yard, the cameraman turning around to zoom in on the roses MacRear was pointing towards.
“DID I TELL YOU TO TAKE THE CAMERA OFF OF ME?! I DON’T THINK I DID, STUPID! FOCUS BACK HERE!”
And the cameraman turned back to MacRear shining off his patent duckface.
“AND THIS TREE?! THIS TREE IS UGLY JUST LIKE NEST! PEOPLE WANT TO SAY THAT TREES ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THINGS THIS WORLD CREATES, BUT IT’S ONLY BECAUSE MOST OF THE WORLD HAS YET TO FEAST THEIR EYES ON… MEEEEEEEE! PRINCE MACREAR! THE REAL APEX CHAMPION, AND UNCROWNED EMPEROR OF LDFC!!!!!!”
He clapped his hands excitedly and shined off his pearly white teeth.
“BUT I WON’T BE UNCROWNED FOR LONG, WILL I, NEST?! YOU SEE, WHEN I SPOKE BEFORE I WANTED PEOPLE TO GET A GOOD UNDERSTANDING OF HOW FAR I’VE COME, AND HOW LONG OF A ROAD IT’S BEEN FOR THE SULTAN. I WANTED TO LOWER MYSELF TO THE LEVEL OF PEOPLE LIKE NEST. PEOPLE LIKE ALL THE DISGUSTING CREATURES THAT INHABIT LDFC, AND THE NASTIES THAT WATCH IT. I WANTED PEOPLE TO REALIZE THAT I’M NOT ALL SELFIES AND BEAUTY PRODUCTS. I HAVE BEEN WORKING MY MACREAR OFF JUST AS HARD, IF NOT HARDER THAN ANYONE ELSE IN THE COMPANY!!!”
He tilted his head a bit to the side, still staring directly at the camera in front of him.
“But people want to ignore that. People want to think that I don’t train my buns off just because I don’t waste my time with the stupid LDFC trainers or their stupid gym! LOOK AT ME, NASTIES! DO I LOOK LIKE SOMEONE WHO TRAINS WITH FILTH?! SOMEONE WHO GETS POINTERS FROM WRESTLERS WHO WERE NEVER THAT GOOD IN THE FIRST PLACE?! NOOOOOOOO!!!!! I’M DIFFERENT, LADIES AND GERMS. AND BECAUSE I’M DIFFERENT...nasties wanna hold that against me.”
He straightened out his neck, and glanced over at the tree.
“And I’m sick of it. Nest, you’ve already proven your ignorance towards me. You’re one of the pieces of dookey that make fun of me because I take care of MY TEMPLE, WHILE YOU WALK AROUND LOOKING LIKE A HOBO WHO MISSED THE BUS TO THE NEXT FREAK SHOW! I’M TIRED OF NEST, AND I’M TIRED OF ALL THESE NASTIES WHO TOLD ME THAT I’D NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING IN THIS SPORT! AT PRIDE, I’M GOING TO BE THE REALLY REAL APEX CHAMPION, AND THERE’S NOTHING ANYONE CAN DO TO STOP ME!!!!!!!!”
He spun around, the sound of a zipper being pulled down coming through the camera.
“Enough words. Just action now. Wanna see what I think of Nest?”
He walked forward and reached into his pants.
“This is what I think about Nest, AND THIS STUPID TREE!”
He whipped out his...MacFront, and started urinating on the tree until the picture turned to static.
