Jordan Harrington - Mindfulness Diary - 16 June
Jun 22, 2015 10:51:21 GMT -5
Post by styg on Jun 22, 2015 10:51:21 GMT -5
awake - 6:13
up - 6:28
bed -
mood scale - 4
work 6 hrs
gym time 2.5 hours
meditation - X
food - corn flakes & banana, grapefruit juice, apple cereal bar, salad, vanilla maple rumble, chicken with pasta / pine nuts / spinach, 2 bags chips
coffees - 3
just missed daily cal target. probably didn't drink enough water '__'
Tired af all day. Got woke up in middle of night by skeez shitbag family across the way ARGUING AGAIN. Like its goddam 3am ffs SHUT UP! Swear to god every single one of them needs punched in the face, even the baby. ESPECIALLY THE BABY! Fat little pile of shit NEVER FUCKING STOPS CRYING EVER. Just about fell asleep standing up in the shower this morning. Messed up 3 orders at work. Boss was pissed. Didn't get to do my calming exercises so will probably be tired tomorrow. Probably fuck up more orders. yay!
Still def feel like I'm falling into hypo. Not as strong as yesterday but its there. Probably hit next week just in time for LD match. ffs.
We're facing the Germans again. Not sure if I'll watch their vids, especially if I AM getting hypo. I know what they'll say. Revenge, Americans, superior specimens, drugs, whatever. You lost assholes, get over it!! L was right about those two. Its always someone elses fault. Well we've beat them once and we can do it again. We know how they move and fight and how they think in the ring now. But if they lose again it'll STILL be a mistake right?
OH MY GOD I can hear those fucks the Wilsons arguing RIGHT NOW!! I'm kind of worried that if this keeps up and I AM going on a hypo that I'm gona go across there and do something about it. Not like they don't need it but I would be the one gets in trouble and then goodbye wrestling career. Not like we're setting the world on fire as it is. I really need L on the ball to stop me doing something like that.
Heard we got a new team in LD. Body something? Whatever. Just nice to think we'll have someone new to face and not just the same four people over and over.
Tried playing some Resi tonight to relax but meh. Played some L4D but just spent the whole time letting zombie waves spawn + shooting them. Quit like halfway through the level.
I thought L was getting better, but the last few weeks... I don't know. I'm worried. Had to tell her twice JUST TONIGHT that our next match is Hans & Liesl. She's back to things like boiling the kettle then forgetting she did it, turning up for training an hour early while I'm still at work b/c she got it in her head we said 1:30 even though I texted her this morning it was 2:30... she won't listen when I talk to her about it either. She just says she's fine and shuts me down. Whenever she seems to be getting better she relapses. I'm scared about her. What if she gets a concussion or something? I don't have my brother. I don't have Nic. I can't lose Ligaya too.
Maybe I'll try talking to her about it when we're down in NC... AFTER our match with Hans & Liesl. If I'm going to be in a fucked up mood going into it is bad enough, don't need her messed up too.
Gonna try and get some sleep now. Wish me luck.
up - 6:28
bed -
mood scale - 4
work 6 hrs
gym time 2.5 hours
meditation - X
food - corn flakes & banana, grapefruit juice, apple cereal bar, salad, vanilla maple rumble, chicken with pasta / pine nuts / spinach, 2 bags chips
coffees - 3
just missed daily cal target. probably didn't drink enough water '__'
Tired af all day. Got woke up in middle of night by skeez shitbag family across the way ARGUING AGAIN. Like its goddam 3am ffs SHUT UP! Swear to god every single one of them needs punched in the face, even the baby. ESPECIALLY THE BABY! Fat little pile of shit NEVER FUCKING STOPS CRYING EVER. Just about fell asleep standing up in the shower this morning. Messed up 3 orders at work. Boss was pissed. Didn't get to do my calming exercises so will probably be tired tomorrow. Probably fuck up more orders. yay!
Still def feel like I'm falling into hypo. Not as strong as yesterday but its there. Probably hit next week just in time for LD match. ffs.
We're facing the Germans again. Not sure if I'll watch their vids, especially if I AM getting hypo. I know what they'll say. Revenge, Americans, superior specimens, drugs, whatever. You lost assholes, get over it!! L was right about those two. Its always someone elses fault. Well we've beat them once and we can do it again. We know how they move and fight and how they think in the ring now. But if they lose again it'll STILL be a mistake right?
OH MY GOD I can hear those fucks the Wilsons arguing RIGHT NOW!! I'm kind of worried that if this keeps up and I AM going on a hypo that I'm gona go across there and do something about it. Not like they don't need it but I would be the one gets in trouble and then goodbye wrestling career. Not like we're setting the world on fire as it is. I really need L on the ball to stop me doing something like that.
Heard we got a new team in LD. Body something? Whatever. Just nice to think we'll have someone new to face and not just the same four people over and over.
Tried playing some Resi tonight to relax but meh. Played some L4D but just spent the whole time letting zombie waves spawn + shooting them. Quit like halfway through the level.
I thought L was getting better, but the last few weeks... I don't know. I'm worried. Had to tell her twice JUST TONIGHT that our next match is Hans & Liesl. She's back to things like boiling the kettle then forgetting she did it, turning up for training an hour early while I'm still at work b/c she got it in her head we said 1:30 even though I texted her this morning it was 2:30... she won't listen when I talk to her about it either. She just says she's fine and shuts me down. Whenever she seems to be getting better she relapses. I'm scared about her. What if she gets a concussion or something? I don't have my brother. I don't have Nic. I can't lose Ligaya too.
Maybe I'll try talking to her about it when we're down in NC... AFTER our match with Hans & Liesl. If I'm going to be in a fucked up mood going into it is bad enough, don't need her messed up too.
Gonna try and get some sleep now. Wish me luck.