State of the Union Adress

[Top Tier Terry]

The camera fades in on a podium with the Lion’s Den logo in the center of a Presidential Seal. It soon pulls back to show a black backdrop with the American flag on one side of the podium and a FGA flag on the other. A hip hop version of Hail to the Chief begins to play as two little girls dressed in suits walk up on the stage impersonating secret service agents. One of them is holding a cardboard standee of Noelle Smith which she someone struggles to set down due to it being almost twice her size. Following them is Triple T decked out in a suit. His hair peppered with while to resemble his hair going grey. He steps up to the podium waiving to an unseen audience until the music finally fades. 

TRIPLE T (With a pretty decent President Obama impersonation): My fellow LDFC fans…I, Terrific Terrence Tillman, your self-appointed Beginner Class President would like to thank you for your continued support. My first lady (looking at the Noelle standee) is so delighted she can’t even speak. And even though I may be leaving you soon to venture on and continue my career, I will never forget the past 2 months of growing we have accomplished.

But right now we have more pressing matters. Your president is booked in a match against a newcomer named Butcher and the 5 foot Colossus AKIRA Kaede. Now make no mistake. I have always been a fan of short Asian American women and people with only one name…Like Madonna…or Cher…or Coolio…


SECRET SERVICE GIRL 1: Who?


SECRET SERVICE GIRL 2: You should have said DRAKE.


SECRET SERVICE GIRL 1: Yes I love DRAKE!

The two little girls begin to have their own fan girl conversation causing TRIPLE T to lose focus and drop character. 

TRIPLE T (speaking under low trying now to move his lips): Mia, Shyanne, if you don’t stop I promise you no ice cream. Are we clear?


BOTH GIRLS: Yes Uncle Terry


TRIPLE T (regaining his composure and impersonation): Ummm, yes usually I’m a fan of those things. But these two individuals may cause a tear in the very fabric of the LDFC. First off we have a man named Butcher…Butcher. I’m not sure if I’m supposed to be afraid or excited about how lean he can cut pastrami. The bottom line is this is a professional league for professional athletes. Coming here with this mindset of brutality just will not stand. This is not some barbaric blood sport and I’m going to show Mr. Butcher that blunt force trauma is no match for skill and execution.


And then we have AKIRA Kaede, who truth be told just seems to need a hug. I mean why are you so angry? Were you picked on as a child? Were you picked on as an adult because you still look like a child? As your beginner class president I recommend releasing that stress and angst with some rhythmic dancing…maybe baking...no one can be mad around cookies.


Either way I President T do solemnly swear that at Pride I will show my opponents as well as the rest of the LDFC that Triple T is the best and only getting better. Thank you, God bless you, and God bless the LDFC…

Suddenly the standee of Noelle Smith falls over. Tillman looks at his two “secret service agents” who in turn point to each other. 

TRIPLE T: That's it…no ice cream!

Triple T picks up his “first lady” and storms off with his two nieces pleading their case as the screen fades to black.