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Post by Dreamscape on Jan 14, 2015 15:09:58 GMT -5
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jan 16, 2015 7:12:32 GMT -5
Early thoughts:
• Watch out for typos. I'm on my phone so I can't easily quote them, but there were a couple scattered throughout that just stood out.
• Solid shoot, reminiscent of early Murder stuff with the teamwork, death and animal imagery. Be careful not to get too repetitive with it, however, otherwise it can get hokey and gimmicky and nobody wants that.
• I'm not sure about others but I had to look up who Marinette is to understand why all the voodoo and wolf imagery. Maybe a bit of history or explanation for those of us among the uninitiated in the future?
• The link to the crime syndicates needs developing.
• Descriptions: you use phrases like "small voodoo shop" and "as deep an accent as if he just entered the U.S" without telling us either what the shop look like (Philip Silver made a similar mistake) or telling us which accent he has.
But good work overall.
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Post by Dreamscape on Jan 16, 2015 13:40:43 GMT -5
Thank you  |
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Post by Dreamscape on Jan 29, 2015 14:00:14 GMT -5
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