Unexpected Obstacles
Feb 7, 2012 17:48:39 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Feb 7, 2012 17:48:39 GMT -5
Friday, January 27, 2012
An embrace in the center of the ring. He's beaten me; there's no doubting that Jared James was the better man on this night. I can hear the crowd cheering his name as I raise his arm. Jenny on the outside of the ring looks up at me with pain in her eyes but I don't share that feeling. I exit the ring and solemnly escort Jenny backstage; the fans in the aisle try to slap my hand and congratulate me on my 'effort'. They say 'bad luck' and 'better luck next time' as if these phrases are supposed to make me feel better. Fuck that. We managed to avoid most of the crowds backstage as we reach our locker room in the Rahway Rec Center.
Jenny
Ok ... Let it all out.
I don't respond, not immediately. Within seconds I had my locker opened and my duffel bag was in my hand. A quick spray of deoderant and I hurry to put on my t-shirt and jacket.
Jenny
What are you doing?
Blaine Harrison
I'm going back to the motel.
Jenny
Don't you want to watch the final!?
Blaine Harrison
No...
She looks at me like I've gone insane. I can't explain what I'm feeling right now. There's no pain in me. No mental anguish at having come so far only to be denied. I'm not internally screaming in disbelief at having lost to the likes of Jared James. No, inside me is just a numb sensation.
Blaine Harrison
Why, so I can see Jared James win the FGA Heavyweight Championship? So I can have the self satisfaction that at least I lost to the future champion. I just want to go back to the motel and have a hot shower...
I might have trailed off at the end as I slip my jeans on over my wrestling shorts. It's going to be an uncomfortable journey home. After gently closing my locker I turn and go to exit the room, but Jenny is standing in the way. I sigh as she begins speaking.
Jenny
You can--don't sigh at me, Blaine--you can let out those feelings, it's healthy to do so. Throw something across the room, kick the locker door until it's dented. Something.
Blaine Harrison
I just want to go...
I hear the crowd in the arena start cheering as the second semi-final starts.
Blaine Harrison
Please move.
Jenny
Wait up then, I'll come with you.
Blaine Harrison
Fine, I'll be waiting in the car...
She finally steps aside as I exit the room, duffel bag slung over one shoulder. I know this feeling now; the numbness inside me will subside by morning and I'll be ready to challenge Jared James. I'll be angry, I'll be irate. But I'll be ready to tell him that it's not over between us. Tell him that he was definitely the better man tonight and he deserves that title, but I can beat him anytime anywhere. That's what I'll do ... For now, I just need to get the hell away from this place.
I'm sat in a motel room in McDonough, Georgia, dressed plainly in a grey t-shirt and a pair of jeans. On Saturday night I competed here for Peach State Wrestling in an unsuccessful attempt to win their heavyweight championship. One week, two title possibilities, nothing to show for them. Fortunately I see a way out of this slump.
Jenny
I'm ready when you are.
Blaine Harrison
Give me a second, please.
I breathe deeply. Jenny positions the camera to be facing us at the window; the snow falling ever so gently outside creates a picturesque scene, a peaceful backdrop that is in keeping with my mood. My anger has long since dissipated and I've come to realise a few things about myself. I nod to Jenny who's got the remote in her hand as we both make our way to the window. She looks slightly more sprightly than I do in her white 'Soft Kitty' tee and a pair of jeans.
Blaine Harrison
I think I'm failing at being a Gemini. We're supposed to be responsive to change; as I see that I'm supposed to be able to go into say a one night tournament or a royal rumble and I'm supposed to be able to adapt to the ever-changing environment around me. As I see that, I'm not supposed to be flummoxed by the unexpected. Things should be able to pop up all around me and I should be able to deal with them as and when they arise.
I'm speaking with my hands, not looking at the camera; my gaze remains on the floor at the base of the camera tripod but I'm gesturing with my hands as I speak.
Blaine Harrison
What actually happens is that I deviate slightly from the--not a plan--the expected course of events. And I fall at the first hurdle. Despite being the fresh man last week, I mean I thrashed Jack Flener in under a damn minute. Not the eight I thought, a damn minute ... And despite the fact that Jared James had gone through a hard fought contest against Preston Blake - a match I was hoping he wouldn't win, a match I didn't expect him to win ... He beat me. He was the better man that night. And I'm not saying that Michael Tomkins was a better man than Jared on the night; I'm not saying he didn't deserve to win the FGA Championship!
Breathe, you're becoming flustered.
Jenny
It's just the circumstances...
Thank you.
Blaine Harrison
Between Timmy Brown and Mickey O'Drunkard, I think the end of that supershow was ruined. Tainted. But lets face it, the FGA Championship isn't my problem this week. No, no. This week I have the enviable task of competing against two of the greatest pound-for-pound wrestlers to ever grace FGA.
There's a hint of sarcasm in my voice. I think.
Blaine Harrison
Two men who, between them, have managed half as many victories in FGA as Jared James has. That's a bit unfair; half of his matches have been against you two! Myself, I haven't yet had the 'honour' of being in the ring with one of you Harvard men. I must be unworthy, having to face the likes of Reave, Flener, Bodom, Jared James. Stoners, junkies, wastes of space ... and Jared. From what I've gathered, Jared is more of a singles competitor. But me, I'm a tag wrestler at heart. It's how I got my big break a few years ago, teaming with my brother, Jackson. It's how I hold a a belt down here in Georgia when I'm not wrestling in FGA. And it's how you guys are going to get your first taste of 'Metal Heart'...
Pause.
Blaine Harrison
Y'know, besides that time we brawled. Besides the time I ran your asses out of the ring and saved Jared from your attack. But I like that fact. I like that I'm going to face you in a match where nothing out of the ordinary can happen. Two versus two and I know who my opponents are going to be well ahead of time. That, fellas, gives me time to plan. Time to strategize. And it's time I'm going to take as I try to bounce back from the disappointment I suffered at 'A New Odyssey'. And to do that I'm going to start by teaming with Jared James to defeat you two, Preston and Chandler, and treat those fans in Newark to a helluva show while we do it.
I smile faintly for the camera as Jenny stops recording. She smiles at me but I'm struggling to muster the energy to do the same. Valentine's Day is sneaking up fast and Dianna wants to go to that concert; one week and my happy life might come crashing down around me. I have one week to save my own skin for once.
An embrace in the center of the ring. He's beaten me; there's no doubting that Jared James was the better man on this night. I can hear the crowd cheering his name as I raise his arm. Jenny on the outside of the ring looks up at me with pain in her eyes but I don't share that feeling. I exit the ring and solemnly escort Jenny backstage; the fans in the aisle try to slap my hand and congratulate me on my 'effort'. They say 'bad luck' and 'better luck next time' as if these phrases are supposed to make me feel better. Fuck that. We managed to avoid most of the crowds backstage as we reach our locker room in the Rahway Rec Center.
Jenny
Ok ... Let it all out.
I don't respond, not immediately. Within seconds I had my locker opened and my duffel bag was in my hand. A quick spray of deoderant and I hurry to put on my t-shirt and jacket.
Jenny
What are you doing?
Blaine Harrison
I'm going back to the motel.
Jenny
Don't you want to watch the final!?
Blaine Harrison
No...
She looks at me like I've gone insane. I can't explain what I'm feeling right now. There's no pain in me. No mental anguish at having come so far only to be denied. I'm not internally screaming in disbelief at having lost to the likes of Jared James. No, inside me is just a numb sensation.
Blaine Harrison
Why, so I can see Jared James win the FGA Heavyweight Championship? So I can have the self satisfaction that at least I lost to the future champion. I just want to go back to the motel and have a hot shower...
I might have trailed off at the end as I slip my jeans on over my wrestling shorts. It's going to be an uncomfortable journey home. After gently closing my locker I turn and go to exit the room, but Jenny is standing in the way. I sigh as she begins speaking.
Jenny
You can--don't sigh at me, Blaine--you can let out those feelings, it's healthy to do so. Throw something across the room, kick the locker door until it's dented. Something.
Blaine Harrison
I just want to go...
I hear the crowd in the arena start cheering as the second semi-final starts.
Blaine Harrison
Please move.
Jenny
Wait up then, I'll come with you.
Blaine Harrison
Fine, I'll be waiting in the car...
She finally steps aside as I exit the room, duffel bag slung over one shoulder. I know this feeling now; the numbness inside me will subside by morning and I'll be ready to challenge Jared James. I'll be angry, I'll be irate. But I'll be ready to tell him that it's not over between us. Tell him that he was definitely the better man tonight and he deserves that title, but I can beat him anytime anywhere. That's what I'll do ... For now, I just need to get the hell away from this place.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Intellectual disagreements or differences of opinion and viewpoints arise now. You may have to speak your mind in a way that challenges or unnerves someone else. However, your mind is very active and sharp, and your reasoning power is good, so this is a good time to do mental work.
Intellectual disagreements or differences of opinion and viewpoints arise now. You may have to speak your mind in a way that challenges or unnerves someone else. However, your mind is very active and sharp, and your reasoning power is good, so this is a good time to do mental work.
I'm sat in a motel room in McDonough, Georgia, dressed plainly in a grey t-shirt and a pair of jeans. On Saturday night I competed here for Peach State Wrestling in an unsuccessful attempt to win their heavyweight championship. One week, two title possibilities, nothing to show for them. Fortunately I see a way out of this slump.
Jenny
I'm ready when you are.
Blaine Harrison
Give me a second, please.
I breathe deeply. Jenny positions the camera to be facing us at the window; the snow falling ever so gently outside creates a picturesque scene, a peaceful backdrop that is in keeping with my mood. My anger has long since dissipated and I've come to realise a few things about myself. I nod to Jenny who's got the remote in her hand as we both make our way to the window. She looks slightly more sprightly than I do in her white 'Soft Kitty' tee and a pair of jeans.
Blaine Harrison
I think I'm failing at being a Gemini. We're supposed to be responsive to change; as I see that I'm supposed to be able to go into say a one night tournament or a royal rumble and I'm supposed to be able to adapt to the ever-changing environment around me. As I see that, I'm not supposed to be flummoxed by the unexpected. Things should be able to pop up all around me and I should be able to deal with them as and when they arise.
I'm speaking with my hands, not looking at the camera; my gaze remains on the floor at the base of the camera tripod but I'm gesturing with my hands as I speak.
Blaine Harrison
What actually happens is that I deviate slightly from the--not a plan--the expected course of events. And I fall at the first hurdle. Despite being the fresh man last week, I mean I thrashed Jack Flener in under a damn minute. Not the eight I thought, a damn minute ... And despite the fact that Jared James had gone through a hard fought contest against Preston Blake - a match I was hoping he wouldn't win, a match I didn't expect him to win ... He beat me. He was the better man that night. And I'm not saying that Michael Tomkins was a better man than Jared on the night; I'm not saying he didn't deserve to win the FGA Championship!
Breathe, you're becoming flustered.
Jenny
It's just the circumstances...
Thank you.
Blaine Harrison
Between Timmy Brown and Mickey O'Drunkard, I think the end of that supershow was ruined. Tainted. But lets face it, the FGA Championship isn't my problem this week. No, no. This week I have the enviable task of competing against two of the greatest pound-for-pound wrestlers to ever grace FGA.
There's a hint of sarcasm in my voice. I think.
Blaine Harrison
Two men who, between them, have managed half as many victories in FGA as Jared James has. That's a bit unfair; half of his matches have been against you two! Myself, I haven't yet had the 'honour' of being in the ring with one of you Harvard men. I must be unworthy, having to face the likes of Reave, Flener, Bodom, Jared James. Stoners, junkies, wastes of space ... and Jared. From what I've gathered, Jared is more of a singles competitor. But me, I'm a tag wrestler at heart. It's how I got my big break a few years ago, teaming with my brother, Jackson. It's how I hold a a belt down here in Georgia when I'm not wrestling in FGA. And it's how you guys are going to get your first taste of 'Metal Heart'...
Pause.
Blaine Harrison
Y'know, besides that time we brawled. Besides the time I ran your asses out of the ring and saved Jared from your attack. But I like that fact. I like that I'm going to face you in a match where nothing out of the ordinary can happen. Two versus two and I know who my opponents are going to be well ahead of time. That, fellas, gives me time to plan. Time to strategize. And it's time I'm going to take as I try to bounce back from the disappointment I suffered at 'A New Odyssey'. And to do that I'm going to start by teaming with Jared James to defeat you two, Preston and Chandler, and treat those fans in Newark to a helluva show while we do it.
I smile faintly for the camera as Jenny stops recording. She smiles at me but I'm struggling to muster the energy to do the same. Valentine's Day is sneaking up fast and Dianna wants to go to that concert; one week and my happy life might come crashing down around me. I have one week to save my own skin for once.