Wade Nolan Feedback

[Deleted]

Just posted my first RP as Wade Nolan and here in FGA, let me know what you all thought good and bad. Plus let me know what I need to improve on. Thanks in advance to those who take the time to read my RP and give me feedback.

[Jensen Banks]

Good: The back story. I like that we got to see a little of that. I also liked the trash talk. You're facing two newcomers, so you didn't try to overdo it. You also didn't bury them, which is great.

Okay: The description I thought was a bit overdone. For example, I didn't think we needed to be told the wall was covered

[Jensen Banks]

Good: The back story. I like that we got to see a little of that. I also liked the trash talk. You're facing two newcomers, so you didn't try to overdo it. You also didn't bury them, which is great.

Okay: The description I thought was a bit overdone. For example, I didn't think we needed to be told the wall was covered in graffiti since you had mentioned it before.

Bad: Not really anything. Do a little better on the description and grammar and it'll be a great RP.

Not bad for a debut RP.

[Deleted]

Thanks man, I use to be one for not describing enough. I'll try to improve on my next one.

[Deleted]

RP posted so what you all think? Sorry if it looks rushed... Gonna try make sure it don't happen again.

[Deleted]

Hoping someone would be kind enough to take the time to leave me some feedback on my "Failure Is Not An Option!" RP.

[Deleted]

Let me know what you thought of the latest RP. Thanks in advance to those who take the time to leave me feedback.

[Chris Q]

That was one of the most interesting things I've read in a long time. I will be honest, this was the first time I've read any of your work. I'm not exactly sure where to start. The way you wrote Wade's dialogue in the scene with the woman does not sound like the same person in the shoot at the end of the RP. The character's voice doesn't seem consistent. Your writing is very intense. The suggested rape at the end of the scene....sheesh. There were a handful of grammatical things that I'm sure will be caught by many.

I'm curious about you as a handler. Where are you from? How long have you been writing this character?

[Deleted]

Im from the UK and Wade is a new character. Also thanks for taking the time to give me feedback.

[Jerry]

I agree with Q, it was intense.

The one thing I would like to see you do with him is to give us a bit more background CD. What's motivated Wade to be the way he is now? I think you've cemented that he's a complete asshole for a couple of roleplays now.

You started out with something from the past, I would be interested to see more.

[Deleted]

I can do that. Thanks for the feedback.