The Arrival of Karma
Apr 20, 2013 6:49:29 GMT -5
Post by Johnny Karma on Apr 20, 2013 6:49:29 GMT -5
[We're outside the Monroe Sports Centre, where Justice Young is waiting for any FGA superstars to arrive at the arena, frankly looking a little bored that he's got this thankless task]
Young: Still waiting...still waiting...
[Just as he exhales out of boredom, Johnny Karma swaggers up wearing his usual white shirt, leather jacket, Aviators, jeans and Converse All Stars combo, with Cherry Baum doing her bit by carrying his bags to the arena. Naturally, this leads to a sudden buzz of activity from Young, as he rushes towards Johnny K to get an interview]
Young: Johnny Karma? Can I have a few words with you?
[Karma keeps walking, pretty much stonewalling Young as he does so - so Young steps in front of him to try and get his attention]
Young: Johnny Karma?
[Johnny K almost jumps out of his skin at the intrusion, as if he wasn't paying attention to Young at all]
Young: Do you have any thoughts...?
[Karma holds up a finger, indicating "Give me a minute", before he tilts his head slightly to remove an ear plug from his right ear, before repeating the procedure with the left ear]
Karma: Yeah?
Young: I was...what's with the ear plugs?
Karma: What, these? They were a tactical necessity.
Young: A...tactical necessity?
Cherry: Yes, a tactical necessity.
Young: What possible tactical reason could you have for wearing ear plugs when coming to the arena?
[Karma removes his shades, places them in his shirt pocket, then places a hand on Young's shoulder]
Karma: Tell me, Mister Whatever-Your-Name-Is Interviewer, have to seen or heard the last promo from J.T. Cash?
Young: Yes, of course.
Karma: Then you know exactly why.
Young: Yes, of course. I...really don't follow.
Karma: It's quite simple. A couple of days ago, my head was throbbing whilst my guys were churning, and I found myself incapable of getting out of bed. At first I thought it was a bad case of food poisoning, but then it dawned on me - it was my immune system reacting to J.T. Cash's attempts at "comedy", which were so bad my organs were actively trying to crawl out of my body to hide from such a poor attempt to appear anything other than a whiny loser.
Cherry: It wasn't a pretty sight.
Karma: Even worse, rather than be what the cool people call "original", he decided the best he could do was provide a poor imitation of the greatness that I provide those blessed with access to Karmic TV...although I have no idea why he was watching, as the uncool aren't invited. I mean, if I wanted to see or hear a classic butchered, I'd lower myself to listening to what Kid Rock did to the poor, defenceless Sweet Home Alabama.
By being so uncool and unoriginal, he did prove to me one thing - J.T. Cash is nothing but a poor imitation, a loser with no material of his own so he has to spend his time hoping that he doesn't get mistaken for Denis Leary in the street. As for me? Not only am I ten times cooler than the coldest thing he has ever touched, I am also the innovator and the originator - the Bill Hicks, the Richard Pryor, the George Carlin. Not only do I entertain, I serve as inspiration to soon-forgotten hacks who haven't an ounce of originality in them who want to ride on my coat tails. But don't worry, soon enough cash will be gently flicked from my coat tails...
[Karma uses his index finger to illustrate with a "ping" motion]
...in the direction of the nearest convenient trash can, where uncool whiners like him belong.
[Karma removes his hand from Young's shoulder, places the Aviators back on his face, then re-inserts the ear plugs]
Cherry: This interview is over, Mister...whatever.
[Karma and Cherry walk past Young, headed into the arena itself]
Young: Still waiting...still waiting...
[Just as he exhales out of boredom, Johnny Karma swaggers up wearing his usual white shirt, leather jacket, Aviators, jeans and Converse All Stars combo, with Cherry Baum doing her bit by carrying his bags to the arena. Naturally, this leads to a sudden buzz of activity from Young, as he rushes towards Johnny K to get an interview]
Young: Johnny Karma? Can I have a few words with you?
[Karma keeps walking, pretty much stonewalling Young as he does so - so Young steps in front of him to try and get his attention]
Young: Johnny Karma?
[Johnny K almost jumps out of his skin at the intrusion, as if he wasn't paying attention to Young at all]
Young: Do you have any thoughts...?
[Karma holds up a finger, indicating "Give me a minute", before he tilts his head slightly to remove an ear plug from his right ear, before repeating the procedure with the left ear]
Karma: Yeah?
Young: I was...what's with the ear plugs?
Karma: What, these? They were a tactical necessity.
Young: A...tactical necessity?
Cherry: Yes, a tactical necessity.
Young: What possible tactical reason could you have for wearing ear plugs when coming to the arena?
[Karma removes his shades, places them in his shirt pocket, then places a hand on Young's shoulder]
Karma: Tell me, Mister Whatever-Your-Name-Is Interviewer, have to seen or heard the last promo from J.T. Cash?
Young: Yes, of course.
Karma: Then you know exactly why.
Young: Yes, of course. I...really don't follow.
Karma: It's quite simple. A couple of days ago, my head was throbbing whilst my guys were churning, and I found myself incapable of getting out of bed. At first I thought it was a bad case of food poisoning, but then it dawned on me - it was my immune system reacting to J.T. Cash's attempts at "comedy", which were so bad my organs were actively trying to crawl out of my body to hide from such a poor attempt to appear anything other than a whiny loser.
Cherry: It wasn't a pretty sight.
Karma: Even worse, rather than be what the cool people call "original", he decided the best he could do was provide a poor imitation of the greatness that I provide those blessed with access to Karmic TV...although I have no idea why he was watching, as the uncool aren't invited. I mean, if I wanted to see or hear a classic butchered, I'd lower myself to listening to what Kid Rock did to the poor, defenceless Sweet Home Alabama.
By being so uncool and unoriginal, he did prove to me one thing - J.T. Cash is nothing but a poor imitation, a loser with no material of his own so he has to spend his time hoping that he doesn't get mistaken for Denis Leary in the street. As for me? Not only am I ten times cooler than the coldest thing he has ever touched, I am also the innovator and the originator - the Bill Hicks, the Richard Pryor, the George Carlin. Not only do I entertain, I serve as inspiration to soon-forgotten hacks who haven't an ounce of originality in them who want to ride on my coat tails. But don't worry, soon enough cash will be gently flicked from my coat tails...
[Karma uses his index finger to illustrate with a "ping" motion]
...in the direction of the nearest convenient trash can, where uncool whiners like him belong.
[Karma removes his hand from Young's shoulder, places the Aviators back on his face, then re-inserts the ear plugs]
Cherry: This interview is over, Mister...whatever.
[Karma and Cherry walk past Young, headed into the arena itself]
