"The Birth Of Little Blacky"
Apr 18, 2013 7:42:24 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Apr 18, 2013 7:42:24 GMT -5
"They seek him here, they seek him there, oh wait nevermind, there he is."
Paper advert: "Superhero seeks Side-Kick for apprenticeship and day to day hero like duties. Superhero is a wrestler and side-kick will be required to accompany him to the ring."
5 foot 4, 200lbs and one far too skin tight outfit. That's the build of the man who stood outside my door, jumping up and down to try and make sure I can see him through the peephole. I didn't really want to answer the door, I mean, I wanted a Sidekick worthy of the name. He was supposed to be a Robin to my Batman, yet he looked like the Penguin.
"Hello? I'm here to answer the advert for a side-kick in today's paper!" he shouted from outside the door, hoping to get my attention. "Hello? I spoke to you on the phone earlier today."
I was tempted to ignore him, but he's the only caller about the advert that I've had today. I swung open the door and looked down at him, the obese little man in a cat suit.
"You're the guy I spoke to on the phone?" I said surprised. "You didn't sound so.."
He interrupted me.
"So what?"
"So short," I said with a shrug. "I expected someone, you know, bigger."
He looked surprised that I was surprised.
"How can someone sound short?" he questioned. "Anyway, no, I'm what you get. You can call me The Dark Destroyer!"
"The Dark Destroyer? You're like four feet tall," I mocked. "The only thing you could destroy is a sandwich."
"And what do you call yourself?"
"I'm The," drum roll please, "Black Shadow!"
Instinctively I stood arms at side as if that voice over guy from television was announcing my arrival.
"The Black Shadow? Are you serious? Shadows are black, that's the only colour they are. If you're called Shadow, the black part is implied."
"Well at least I don't look like an oversized door stop!"
The Dark Destroyer looked himself up and down, his brown curly hair protruding awkwardly from the side of his head. I thought I had better say something nice, before he kicked me in the shins or something. Knowing my luck, this guy could probably fight with the best of them.
"Oh I didn't mean it, but if you're going to work for me then we're going to have to change your name," I just had to be honest. This guy didn't look like The Dark Destroyer. I'm pretty sure a puddle could defeat him. "At least to something more fitting. If I'm The Black Shadow, you need a better name."
"Like what?" he angrily said.
"Uhh, Little Blacky. I like that, The Black Shadow and Little Blacky!"
"That makes me sound like a negro midget."
Well at least I got it half right. He put his hands on his hips, resigned to joining my amazing crusade against evil here in the Frontier Grappling Arts.
"So is that your costume? One little eye mask and a cape?" he asked.
How dare he.
"Yeah, what's wrong with it?" I defended, looking myself up and down in a mirror next to the door. "I look like an amazing superhero."
"People will be able to see who you are, your identity is far from secret."
"It doesn't matter, I'll use my trusty neuralizer on them!" I take it from my pocket and wave it around in his face. "They'll never see it coming."
"You don't have a neuralizer, that's a thermometer!" he yelled at me. "Neuralizers don't even exist outside of Men In Black!"
I sighed at his ultimate stupidity.
"I'm a man, dressed in black, what more proof do you need?" Anyway, let's forget about that. "Right, well we need to get started. I put an advert in the paper, a superhero for hire and we've got a job to do. To the Black-mobile Little Blacky!"
He looks around confused.
"You don't have a black mobile, do you?" he sighed.
I thought about it, but I guess he'd figure it out eventually.
"Fine, spoil sport, to the bus stop!"
I enthusiastically slammed my door and stepped out into the corridor like a Hero should. My hands on hips and my head titled, I peered down to see my new sidekick, shaking his head. Giving up my awesome stance, we walked down the corridor and then it happened.
"Alright Bill, how's it going?" said my next door neighbor, returning home from the market.
"Bill? My name is The Black Shadow, citizen."
I stormed off, only to hear Little Blacky shout from behind me.
"I told you that your costume sucked!"
Paper advert: "Superhero seeks Side-Kick for apprenticeship and day to day hero like duties. Superhero is a wrestler and side-kick will be required to accompany him to the ring."
5 foot 4, 200lbs and one far too skin tight outfit. That's the build of the man who stood outside my door, jumping up and down to try and make sure I can see him through the peephole. I didn't really want to answer the door, I mean, I wanted a Sidekick worthy of the name. He was supposed to be a Robin to my Batman, yet he looked like the Penguin.
"Hello? I'm here to answer the advert for a side-kick in today's paper!" he shouted from outside the door, hoping to get my attention. "Hello? I spoke to you on the phone earlier today."
I was tempted to ignore him, but he's the only caller about the advert that I've had today. I swung open the door and looked down at him, the obese little man in a cat suit.
"You're the guy I spoke to on the phone?" I said surprised. "You didn't sound so.."
He interrupted me.
"So what?"
"So short," I said with a shrug. "I expected someone, you know, bigger."
He looked surprised that I was surprised.
"How can someone sound short?" he questioned. "Anyway, no, I'm what you get. You can call me The Dark Destroyer!"
"The Dark Destroyer? You're like four feet tall," I mocked. "The only thing you could destroy is a sandwich."
"And what do you call yourself?"
"I'm The," drum roll please, "Black Shadow!"
Instinctively I stood arms at side as if that voice over guy from television was announcing my arrival.
"The Black Shadow? Are you serious? Shadows are black, that's the only colour they are. If you're called Shadow, the black part is implied."
"Well at least I don't look like an oversized door stop!"
The Dark Destroyer looked himself up and down, his brown curly hair protruding awkwardly from the side of his head. I thought I had better say something nice, before he kicked me in the shins or something. Knowing my luck, this guy could probably fight with the best of them.
"Oh I didn't mean it, but if you're going to work for me then we're going to have to change your name," I just had to be honest. This guy didn't look like The Dark Destroyer. I'm pretty sure a puddle could defeat him. "At least to something more fitting. If I'm The Black Shadow, you need a better name."
"Like what?" he angrily said.
"Uhh, Little Blacky. I like that, The Black Shadow and Little Blacky!"
"That makes me sound like a negro midget."
Well at least I got it half right. He put his hands on his hips, resigned to joining my amazing crusade against evil here in the Frontier Grappling Arts.
"So is that your costume? One little eye mask and a cape?" he asked.
How dare he.
"Yeah, what's wrong with it?" I defended, looking myself up and down in a mirror next to the door. "I look like an amazing superhero."
"People will be able to see who you are, your identity is far from secret."
"It doesn't matter, I'll use my trusty neuralizer on them!" I take it from my pocket and wave it around in his face. "They'll never see it coming."
"You don't have a neuralizer, that's a thermometer!" he yelled at me. "Neuralizers don't even exist outside of Men In Black!"
I sighed at his ultimate stupidity.
"I'm a man, dressed in black, what more proof do you need?" Anyway, let's forget about that. "Right, well we need to get started. I put an advert in the paper, a superhero for hire and we've got a job to do. To the Black-mobile Little Blacky!"
He looks around confused.
"You don't have a black mobile, do you?" he sighed.
I thought about it, but I guess he'd figure it out eventually.
"Fine, spoil sport, to the bus stop!"
I enthusiastically slammed my door and stepped out into the corridor like a Hero should. My hands on hips and my head titled, I peered down to see my new sidekick, shaking his head. Giving up my awesome stance, we walked down the corridor and then it happened.
"Alright Bill, how's it going?" said my next door neighbor, returning home from the market.
"Bill? My name is The Black Shadow, citizen."
I stormed off, only to hear Little Blacky shout from behind me.
"I told you that your costume sucked!"