Enough Already, Blaine!
Jan 15, 2012 20:55:25 GMT -5
Post by Chandler Scott on Jan 15, 2012 20:55:25 GMT -5
[The scene opens up to the Chandler Scott estate. In the living room of this humble abode sits The Harvard Connection. Preston stands by the fireplace, swishes around an amber colored drink in his clear glass. Meanwhile, Chandler Scott can be seen laying back on the corner of a couch while Madison Stewart sits on his lap. Madison can be seen seductively feeding him a green grape. Preston looks over and smirks while rolling his eyes. He then clears his throat as he makes his way over to a chair. Once Madison and Chandler turn their attention to him, Preston motions to the camera directly in front of them. After Preston sits down in the chair, he knocks back the remaining remnants of his drink and sits the clear glass on a coaster. Chandler then readjusts his position on the couch.]
Chandler:
“Have you guys seen this crap? I mean really, enough's enough already,” exclaims Chandler, showing his disgust for what he's seen on the Frontier website recently.
Preston:
“I know, right? Having to hear Blaine Harrison be reduced to giving verbal fellatio Jared James is absolutely sickening.” Preston curls up his lips, displeased with the depths that Blaine Harrison has gone to recently.
Madison:
“Oh Jared, I'm sooooooo in love with you. Oh Jared, I've followed your career. I've seen all your matches. I've made a custom playlist in my iPod of all your theme music. I even kiss your poster on my wall every night before I go to bed,” says Madison, clearly mocking Blaine's teenage crush on Jared James. “What a pathetic little suck up he is.”
Chandler:
“What a loser. Hearing this guy dole out compliment after compliment makes me want to vomit.”
Preston:
“I second that motion.”
Madison:
“Me three.”
Chandler:
“Hey Blaine, let me ask you something. Instead of shaking his hand, are you going to get down on one knee at the start of the match and kiss it? Instead of putting Jared in a bear hug, are you just going to hug him instead and hold him tight? Or are you actually going to be a man....”
Madison:
“....Something that you fail at trying to pretend you are...”
Chandler:
“.....and actually punch Jared in the mouth? That's right, I said punch Jared in the mouth, not kiss him in the mouth. Don't get your hopes up, you fruit.” Chandler lets out a smirk, recalling Blaine's penchant for neon colored drinks with the little umbrella in them.
Preston:
“I expected so much more out of you, Blaine. I expected you to be full of fire. Instead, all you did was suck up to Jared in some pathetic attempt to try and get him to take it easy on you. After all, we know how you are in that ring. You line up tomato cans and stiffs on the opposite side of the ring, Blaine Harrison looks like the real deal. Blaine Harrison actually looks impressive. But when you put an actual competitor up against him, what happens? He nearly gets him arm broken in two.” Chandler makes a cracking sounds while Madison pretends to break a stick in two with her hands.
Chandler:
“We just hope that this week on Combat, you don't get your arm broken. Because getting injured by a little runt like Jared James... let's just say that it'd be highly embarrassing.” Chandler snickers at the thought of Blaine getting injured by a guy that's about 140 pounds soaking wet.
Madison:
“Don't disappoint us, Blaine. Though when it comes to wrestling in the main event, that's all you seem to do is disappoint. So I should probably know better.”
Preston:
“And how dare you say that no one wants to hear a bunch of Ivy Leaguers on commentary? Why wouldn't they? We're two men that know how to properly string together a cohesive sentence, an attribute that the majority of this roster seems to severely lack. Not to mention that two individuals with our supreme intellect will have the ability to make Sam Roberts actually sound bearable.”
Chandler:
“I concur, Preston. We are the best pure, natural athletes on this roster. And who better to help dissect the action and get the fans watching at home into the minds of the wrestlers in the ring than The Harvard Connection? We're great. We were great with our studies. We're just great at everything that we do in life. And commentary will be no different.”
Madison:
“But we must say. We're offended that you would actually think that The Harvard Connection, two civilized men unlike the rest of you cannibals, would actually have ulterior motives instead of just commentating on the action. Who do you think they are, Jared James and Blaine Harrison? Chandler and Preston accepted the invitation to call your main event match. They are there for the sole purpose of commentating on that match and commentating on that match only. Instead of throwing out accusations and implying that The Harvard Connection have underhanded tactics in mind, you should be grateful that you have the honor of having The Harvard Connection commentating on your match. Having those two in the booth will be like listening to Bob Costas wax poetically about baseball. It will only make your match better and, in turn, will do something that you've failed to accomplish on your own – make you look good!” Madison smiles slyly.
Preston:
“I look forward to this fight, Blaine. I want to see fists. I want to see kicks. But most important of all, I want to see you two bosom buddies beating the complete and utter hell out of each other. It'll just make our jobs that much easier come the supershow. Because at 2012: A New Odyssey, a member of The Harvard Connection WILL be crowned the first-ever Frontier Heavyweight Champion.
Madison:
“And that, my friend, is the truth.”
The Harvard Connection:
“VERITAS!”
[The scene fades to crimson, followed by the Harvard “H”.]
Chandler:
“Have you guys seen this crap? I mean really, enough's enough already,” exclaims Chandler, showing his disgust for what he's seen on the Frontier website recently.
Preston:
“I know, right? Having to hear Blaine Harrison be reduced to giving verbal fellatio Jared James is absolutely sickening.” Preston curls up his lips, displeased with the depths that Blaine Harrison has gone to recently.
Madison:
“Oh Jared, I'm sooooooo in love with you. Oh Jared, I've followed your career. I've seen all your matches. I've made a custom playlist in my iPod of all your theme music. I even kiss your poster on my wall every night before I go to bed,” says Madison, clearly mocking Blaine's teenage crush on Jared James. “What a pathetic little suck up he is.”
Chandler:
“What a loser. Hearing this guy dole out compliment after compliment makes me want to vomit.”
Preston:
“I second that motion.”
Madison:
“Me three.”
Chandler:
“Hey Blaine, let me ask you something. Instead of shaking his hand, are you going to get down on one knee at the start of the match and kiss it? Instead of putting Jared in a bear hug, are you just going to hug him instead and hold him tight? Or are you actually going to be a man....”
Madison:
“....Something that you fail at trying to pretend you are...”
Chandler:
“.....and actually punch Jared in the mouth? That's right, I said punch Jared in the mouth, not kiss him in the mouth. Don't get your hopes up, you fruit.” Chandler lets out a smirk, recalling Blaine's penchant for neon colored drinks with the little umbrella in them.
Preston:
“I expected so much more out of you, Blaine. I expected you to be full of fire. Instead, all you did was suck up to Jared in some pathetic attempt to try and get him to take it easy on you. After all, we know how you are in that ring. You line up tomato cans and stiffs on the opposite side of the ring, Blaine Harrison looks like the real deal. Blaine Harrison actually looks impressive. But when you put an actual competitor up against him, what happens? He nearly gets him arm broken in two.” Chandler makes a cracking sounds while Madison pretends to break a stick in two with her hands.
Chandler:
“We just hope that this week on Combat, you don't get your arm broken. Because getting injured by a little runt like Jared James... let's just say that it'd be highly embarrassing.” Chandler snickers at the thought of Blaine getting injured by a guy that's about 140 pounds soaking wet.
Madison:
“Don't disappoint us, Blaine. Though when it comes to wrestling in the main event, that's all you seem to do is disappoint. So I should probably know better.”
Preston:
“And how dare you say that no one wants to hear a bunch of Ivy Leaguers on commentary? Why wouldn't they? We're two men that know how to properly string together a cohesive sentence, an attribute that the majority of this roster seems to severely lack. Not to mention that two individuals with our supreme intellect will have the ability to make Sam Roberts actually sound bearable.”
Chandler:
“I concur, Preston. We are the best pure, natural athletes on this roster. And who better to help dissect the action and get the fans watching at home into the minds of the wrestlers in the ring than The Harvard Connection? We're great. We were great with our studies. We're just great at everything that we do in life. And commentary will be no different.”
Madison:
“But we must say. We're offended that you would actually think that The Harvard Connection, two civilized men unlike the rest of you cannibals, would actually have ulterior motives instead of just commentating on the action. Who do you think they are, Jared James and Blaine Harrison? Chandler and Preston accepted the invitation to call your main event match. They are there for the sole purpose of commentating on that match and commentating on that match only. Instead of throwing out accusations and implying that The Harvard Connection have underhanded tactics in mind, you should be grateful that you have the honor of having The Harvard Connection commentating on your match. Having those two in the booth will be like listening to Bob Costas wax poetically about baseball. It will only make your match better and, in turn, will do something that you've failed to accomplish on your own – make you look good!” Madison smiles slyly.
Preston:
“I look forward to this fight, Blaine. I want to see fists. I want to see kicks. But most important of all, I want to see you two bosom buddies beating the complete and utter hell out of each other. It'll just make our jobs that much easier come the supershow. Because at 2012: A New Odyssey, a member of The Harvard Connection WILL be crowned the first-ever Frontier Heavyweight Champion.
Madison:
“And that, my friend, is the truth.”
The Harvard Connection:
“VERITAS!”
[The scene fades to crimson, followed by the Harvard “H”.]