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Post by Deleted on Jan 17, 2013 14:08:05 GMT -5
What did you guys think of my first rp for Frontier? First time i've rp'ed in quite some time.
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Post by shaunsindelman on Jan 17, 2013 22:15:33 GMT -5
I liked how Braydon sized Hazard up without putting himself down. And the setup in the bar was good too to hear his friends telling him (and the viewer) what we can expect from Jones.
All in all, Carter vs Hazard SHOULD be a well-matched fight. Otherwise I'll be disappointed after the talk both men have done thus far.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 1, 2013 20:07:45 GMT -5
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Post by shaunsindelman on Feb 2, 2013 15:27:46 GMT -5
Another good promo from Braydon.
Especially liked the part where Carter tries to figure out how someone like Rampage goes from movies to music to wrestling because I was thinking the same thing too as the reader.
good luck as always.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 2, 2013 16:51:22 GMT -5
Who is carter? Lol
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Post by shaunsindelman on Feb 2, 2013 17:04:14 GMT -5
Sheesh...for 2 shows now I kept thinking your name was Braydon Carter instead of Braydon Jones.
Just like you thought Blayze was a heel...did you ever figure out where you were making the mistake from?
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Post by Deleted on Feb 5, 2013 10:51:25 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Feb 8, 2013 12:33:28 GMT -5
bump
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Post by Deleted on Feb 9, 2013 4:47:09 GMT -5
FYI "'Oh my god! Braydon Jones just showed Rampage some Philly Love!'" Sounds like the title of a video on Redtube or something  Otherwise, nice face shtick. Sold your opponent, your last match and hit the points you needed to. Scene setting is well described, even if it seemed a little unnecessary at times (look who's talking  ) My one gripe I the second rp. It was just a reply. By that I mean it didn't build the character much. IMHO. Taking what your opponent has said and debating it point by point doesn't make for good rps. |
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Bondo
Headliner
A clever Crow always paints it's feathers black
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Post by Bondo on Feb 9, 2013 21:22:28 GMT -5
After reading "Jersey City, Brotherly Love", here are a few thoughts... --> You sold your last match perfectly. You praised your former opponent, very facish of you. You built up the idea that Braydon really loves what he's doing. Points you keep hammering when you go after Rampage later on in your shoot. --> I loved the way you took a very serious but sarcastic look at Rampage's basic gimmick. You asking why is something any real opponent would do. I lol'd a bit when I came across and completely pictured his facial expressions and vocal tone when he said "WHY?". I'ma nerd like that. --> A very strong shoot here, going after his past. Relating it to your love for this business. It came across as Braydon taking it personally that Rampage was "talked into wrestling" while your character has loved it his entire life. --> Praising your heel opponent is very face-like, and you did it quite well. It wasn't over the top gushy-gushy. It seemed to fit perfectly well into this. You gave him credit where credit is due, but turned it around into praising yourself, too. Good job on that Lukatron. Overall a very solid piece of writing. Great shoot. Wish there was some CD, but your description was spot on, and it was a good piece of e-Wrasslin' writing.  ........................................................................ [/color][/center] After reading "From the Bully, with (philly) Love", here are a few thoughts... --> Epic hero of the working class style shoot here, Luke. For some reason, this comes to mind... lol --> It's obvious in this work that Braydon is very pissed that Rampage doesn't take him seriously. He comes off as pissed that Rampage doesn't even seem him as a blip on his radar, something that Jones takes to heart. --> Ben is right with the redtube comment. Make sure to aim away from his eye, though... ;D In all seriousness though, a very strong closing RP heading into your match. I felt Braydon's emotions regarding his working class roots compared to Rampage's "wealthy man" image. I felt his pain and anger when it comes to be overlooked, underestimated. I gotta offer you a little word of advice. Have him lay off the beers. The alcoholic shtick is my gimmick. Good work, Lukzilla. Very good stuff. Very real. Seems too legit to quit.  |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 18, 2013 18:19:16 GMT -5
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Post by shaunsindelman on Feb 18, 2013 22:17:53 GMT -5
I didn't quite get the point of the story part if it wasn't really focused upon again in the actual shoot portion....unless I overlooked something.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 19, 2013 7:09:24 GMT -5
I usually try and write the story part as something separate from my shoots, They don't typically have anything to do with each other, although, in time, this story probably will.
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Post by shaunsindelman on Feb 19, 2013 10:46:36 GMT -5
Then maybe it should've been posted separately in the CD area opposed to the Supershow RPs.
Just my opinion...and no one elses.
-Shaun
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Post by thelion on Feb 22, 2013 21:26:30 GMT -5
I don't get the whole telling a story that wouldn't be on-camera before the promo, but I thought it was well written. Not intending to mimic Shaun there, but it'd best serve you in character development and marked "Off camera".
As for the rest of the promo, I dug it. Definitely a solid contender and while it's a bit on the nice side at points for a heel, I found it befitting the character. *Thumbs*
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