Rise of the Schemers
May 25, 2019 14:37:44 GMT -5
Post by Delikado on May 25, 2019 14:37:44 GMT -5
Frik Snackey is seated in a simple lounge with Prince Otto Sonsson and the pigeon bros Eon Pig and Apocalypse Face, apparently in the final stages of planning for Only The Strong Survive. Frik takes a big swig of his vegan protein drink, his sweaty appearance suggesting he’s just finished a training session, while the pigeons gobble away at various food littering the table.
Frik Snackey: This is it. Delikado lost tonight, which can mean one of a few things: either his devious grip in FGA, however brittle it might’ve been to begin with, is now weaker than ever, or the rumors will prove true and in his lowest state his insanity—and all that encompasses it--will reach greater heights to possibly doom us. I can only hope Fujiko and Izzy can defeat him at Only The Strong Survive, retain their United States Championship belts, and leave the Cuban wretch weak enough for me to finish off for good at our post-Supershow duel. Those two are the some of the best the FGA has ever seen, so I believe they can do it. Still…I want to cover all angles, less that rogue’s crew decide to try and manipulate things to their advantage.
Prince Otto, the only one with no food, toys with a knife as he listens and responds.
Prince Otto Sonsson: Meaning vat?
Frik Snackey: Someone needs to be ready to drop in for the assist—anything, like a tool or a reversal to any tricks Delikado may try to pull. The question is who can we rely on, to not mail it in…?
Eon Pig: Yo, who better to “mail it in” but in a good way, than a carrier pigeon legend like mah bro Apocalypse Face, sqwak? He can drop a water bottle on the ring ropes and make dat shit land flawlessly ERRYTIME, nahmean, sqwak?
Apocalypse Face proudly struts his pigeon breasts forward and taps his claws in a tiny jig.
Apocalypse Face: Word, ya’ll can rely on me, Snackers, sqwak!
Snackey leans forward and looks at the two oversized birds with a menacing light in his giant eyes.
Frik Snackey: My company is on the line if this Cuban survives the Supershow ahead. If you birds fail me, I’ll break my longstanding vegan diet and eat both of you! So what you do now is fly to Milwaukee and wait there with weapons to drop in for me in case that scum or his minions play dirty. Depending on how the Tag Team Championship match goes, they’ll either be riding high on a title win and believe anything is fair game, or they’ll be pissed off losers looking to vent their frustration by any means at-hand, like a dateless virgin on prom night. I don’t know what his plan will be exactly, but it will require keen eyes and even keener strategy. Strike the Cuban if need be. Be absolutely certain you’re not detected.
Eon Pig: Maaaaan, we be masters of them subtle arts ‘n crafts, sqwaaaaak!
The two giant talking pigeons hobble out of the lounge, gracelessly knocking over a waiter carrying a full tray of glasses and food (food they scoop up and devour greedily) as they depart. When they’re gone, the titan looks to the smaller young Swede.
Frik Snackey: Meanwhile, you’ll be ready to get me out on the fastest plane if things go south? I’m already taking a giant risk fighting Delikado on FGA grounds after the ban was put in place between us. If I fail, I won’t be able to live down the shame and my departure from the American wrestling scene will be all but cemented. All haste will be required, got it?
Prince Otto Sonsson: Ve vill be ready to do vat needs to be done, Snackman.
Snackey inhales deeply and places a massive pawlike hand down on the prince’s much smaller, girly hand and applies preassure.
Frik Snackey: This can either be the beginning of a fresh start, or a climax longtime in the making. See that you do this thing right, or your old man will need to find himself a replacement heir!
With that, Snackey releases his hold and stands up, leaving the lounge to go prepare for the days ahead. When he’s gone, Eon Pig and Apocalypse Face jump out from behind the lounge’s bar, pigeon cooing deviously. Snarling bitterly, Otto shakes off his numbed hand as he glances at the birds.
Prince Otto Sonsson: Zoo caught all zat?
Eon Pig: Every taste bit, Swiss cheese man sqwak! Ol Snackers don’t think he can cut it and prepping to fly the coop, sqwak? Whodda thunk, sqwak? You’d think HE lost to Envi and the rest and was ready to admit defeat already at that Megacard thing, sqwak. Who wants to attach they pony to THAT, sqwak! We wants to be proper glory wrestling faction, nahmean, sqwak!
Apocalypse Face nods dumbly in agreement with his brother bird.
Apocalypse Face: Straight up, why don’t we just, like, start our own tag team witchu as our manager, sqwak? Me ‘n Eon got the contracts, pro wrestling could be our playground to shit all over, sqwak!
Prince Otto Sonsson: No. I vant zee FGA to be vere I build my kingdom. Is like zis, angry birdies, should Snackman be losing, disable zee Kooban—do NOT take him out, I need him….but DO take out Frik. Ven all is said and done, ve vill rule and triumph over all! Speaking of, did you drop off “zee bait bombshell”?
Eon Pig: Ol bee-otch Sofia’ll get it during the Super thing, sqwak. But yo, back up a flip bout the duel, sqwak! Snackey ain’t no wrestler like Delikado, so what iffin he kick his vegan punkass ass right off the bat, sqwak? Leaves us no opening and Delikado’s looking mighty again, sqwak!
Prince Otto Sonsson: Zen vee regroup. I vill be near at hand—fly zoo me, and vee vill prepare a counter to Delikado, title gold or not around his waist. Your FGA careers can begin good and proper, know vat I mean…?
Eon Pig cocks the closest thing to a pigeon smile across his beak and clacks his talons together in fiendish delight.
Eon Pig: Word, sqwak! First thing I wanna do as a pigeon tag team is peck them Fujiko boobies, sqwak! You see those things during the Main Event tonight, sqwak? Fiiiiine Chinese food boooooiiii, sqwak! I mean, they looked like--
Sofia Monzón: I’m sorry your EnviKado reunion bordering on love match didn’t succeed. You two were so united in your beating everyone around, but now the beatings were on each other and who knows if your marriage will ever recover. Still, it’s a more sensical love story than Fifty Shades of Grey.
Sofia and Delikado sit opposite each other, an unknown amount of time after the last Vertigo.
…………………………
Sofia Monzón: I never said I was happy. Being right isn’t always a good thing, believe it or not. Being right so far has meant the balance shifting negatively, with too little momentum in your corner heading to Only The Strong Survive.
……….
Sofia Monzón: I don’t “suppose” anything. Compared to the relationship between Fujiko and Izzy, yours and Susan’s isn’t serious enough. I imagine even after this last show, you and Envi teaming against them for the titles would be a serious contender. But it seems you’re sticking with that amateur to the very end, so I ask…is it worth losing a major ally like Evan Envi, a pillar of the FGA realm, to fulfill some fantasy that Susan Kent will snuggle with you once you’ve finally reacquired your former vigor?
….
Sofia Monzón: You….You “don’t know…”? Well then—
…………………………………….
Sofia Monzón: …Okay, I’ll let you finish.
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Sofia Monzón: Now you’re the one trying to be right. If Fujiko didn’t already have Envi, and Izzy didn’t already have Seth Iser to combat on the same night, you probably wouldn’t be able to best them as you’re currently sitting. Still, even if they only had you two to face alone, they carry belts that have no established or even satisfying history like the World Tag Team titles. They have nothing worth proving, little to defend--they aren’t the Chaotics. Every reign attached to the belts you’re fighting for has little glory in the titles themselves, it’s all in the name-value behind the holders.
…………
Sofia Monzón: *scoff* I’m alluding to what you’ve done to “insignificant” titles in the past because that can be your weapon against two of the biggest names this company’s ever held! What? Do you want me to fawn over some “gropy mentor and his borderline illiterate pupil” storyline that’ll help you succeed? Because I won’t. It won’t. This isn’t “nostalgia”, it’s grasping for the securest ground you have in an otherwise insecure contending world. You’ve made “second-tier” titles into Main Event, Pay-Per-View poster-gracing symbols of entire industries. That’s the story you can work to paint for the US Tag Team Championships. While all eyes and all focus are put on the World Title and the Pride Title, you sneak in and snatch away those US Tag Titles like the grubby title-snatching Cuban we both know you work well at being. After that, you can begin going from contender to contender, working and winning back some semblance of your former career, undoing the physical damage you’ve done to yourself, stealing the people’s love and respect, reclaiming something of the FEAR your name used to inspire in the wrestling ranks, and then, once THAT story is told, you can return to your Susan Kent story, assuming she’s still breathing and useful, and if you still MUST have her…then take the bitch. But only after you’ve secured yourself on solid, trusted ground in the FGA.
……
Sofia Monzón: “Trust her”? Like you trusted Evan…? Who even said tag teams had to trust one another anymore? Fujiko and Izzy certainly don’t paint a proper image of “BFFs”. No. Forget trust. It’s about playing the odds, about manipulating the scene to your advantage, about the number of headaches you induce through stubbornness until every defiant man and woman in this place lays down their sword and relents that your cause is too mighty an egg to crack.
……………………………………
Sofia leans forward a bit, looking her client square in the eye with a slight darkness of warning.
Sofia Monzón: Serious or joking, Delikado, you do *not* speak of my son and the lessons he can learn. You haven’t even had a proper title fight in…Jesus, YEARS. But still, Ewan and I haven’t even decided yet if we want Hector to follow the business that flows through his veins. He’ll be a real fighter to be sure. What’s more, I want him to be an honorable one, a wrestler you can believe in. Not like you, cut-throat, schemer, whore-monger, glory-flaunter, etcetera, etcetera…
…………
Sofia Monzón: You’re welcome. That’s your essence, for better or worse, good or evil, so trust those over anything else, and I don't see why you can't become a champion again. Hold onto that, even if it makes you alone out there with no partner. Hell, forget partners…we can always trade yours out.
…………………………………
Sofia Monzón: *chuckle* It was worth a try. Anyway, it’s late, we’re all tired. Let’s go find Ewan and get out of here. There’s plenty of battles ahead, and as your manager I insist you rest up for them.
She goes to push Delikado in his wheelchair and they begin to exit the room.
………………………………………………..
Sofia Monzón: I’m actually going to beg you NOT to bring up our relationship, even if it gets you off the Susan Kent fan boat for a few moments. I admit, we had our "fun", but now it's over. We were never meant to be, and I’d say we’re all the stronger for it.
…………..
Sofia Monzón: Mhmm…and ONLY the strong, you shameless name-dropping bastard.
The two depart reminiscing on their long shared history as we cut to black.
Frik Snackey: This is it. Delikado lost tonight, which can mean one of a few things: either his devious grip in FGA, however brittle it might’ve been to begin with, is now weaker than ever, or the rumors will prove true and in his lowest state his insanity—and all that encompasses it--will reach greater heights to possibly doom us. I can only hope Fujiko and Izzy can defeat him at Only The Strong Survive, retain their United States Championship belts, and leave the Cuban wretch weak enough for me to finish off for good at our post-Supershow duel. Those two are the some of the best the FGA has ever seen, so I believe they can do it. Still…I want to cover all angles, less that rogue’s crew decide to try and manipulate things to their advantage.
Prince Otto, the only one with no food, toys with a knife as he listens and responds.
Prince Otto Sonsson: Meaning vat?
Frik Snackey: Someone needs to be ready to drop in for the assist—anything, like a tool or a reversal to any tricks Delikado may try to pull. The question is who can we rely on, to not mail it in…?
Eon Pig: Yo, who better to “mail it in” but in a good way, than a carrier pigeon legend like mah bro Apocalypse Face, sqwak? He can drop a water bottle on the ring ropes and make dat shit land flawlessly ERRYTIME, nahmean, sqwak?
Apocalypse Face proudly struts his pigeon breasts forward and taps his claws in a tiny jig.
Apocalypse Face: Word, ya’ll can rely on me, Snackers, sqwak!
Snackey leans forward and looks at the two oversized birds with a menacing light in his giant eyes.
Frik Snackey: My company is on the line if this Cuban survives the Supershow ahead. If you birds fail me, I’ll break my longstanding vegan diet and eat both of you! So what you do now is fly to Milwaukee and wait there with weapons to drop in for me in case that scum or his minions play dirty. Depending on how the Tag Team Championship match goes, they’ll either be riding high on a title win and believe anything is fair game, or they’ll be pissed off losers looking to vent their frustration by any means at-hand, like a dateless virgin on prom night. I don’t know what his plan will be exactly, but it will require keen eyes and even keener strategy. Strike the Cuban if need be. Be absolutely certain you’re not detected.
Eon Pig: Maaaaan, we be masters of them subtle arts ‘n crafts, sqwaaaaak!
The two giant talking pigeons hobble out of the lounge, gracelessly knocking over a waiter carrying a full tray of glasses and food (food they scoop up and devour greedily) as they depart. When they’re gone, the titan looks to the smaller young Swede.
Frik Snackey: Meanwhile, you’ll be ready to get me out on the fastest plane if things go south? I’m already taking a giant risk fighting Delikado on FGA grounds after the ban was put in place between us. If I fail, I won’t be able to live down the shame and my departure from the American wrestling scene will be all but cemented. All haste will be required, got it?
Prince Otto Sonsson: Ve vill be ready to do vat needs to be done, Snackman.
Snackey inhales deeply and places a massive pawlike hand down on the prince’s much smaller, girly hand and applies preassure.
Frik Snackey: This can either be the beginning of a fresh start, or a climax longtime in the making. See that you do this thing right, or your old man will need to find himself a replacement heir!
With that, Snackey releases his hold and stands up, leaving the lounge to go prepare for the days ahead. When he’s gone, Eon Pig and Apocalypse Face jump out from behind the lounge’s bar, pigeon cooing deviously. Snarling bitterly, Otto shakes off his numbed hand as he glances at the birds.
Prince Otto Sonsson: Zoo caught all zat?
Eon Pig: Every taste bit, Swiss cheese man sqwak! Ol Snackers don’t think he can cut it and prepping to fly the coop, sqwak? Whodda thunk, sqwak? You’d think HE lost to Envi and the rest and was ready to admit defeat already at that Megacard thing, sqwak. Who wants to attach they pony to THAT, sqwak! We wants to be proper glory wrestling faction, nahmean, sqwak!
Apocalypse Face nods dumbly in agreement with his brother bird.
Apocalypse Face: Straight up, why don’t we just, like, start our own tag team witchu as our manager, sqwak? Me ‘n Eon got the contracts, pro wrestling could be our playground to shit all over, sqwak!
Prince Otto Sonsson: No. I vant zee FGA to be vere I build my kingdom. Is like zis, angry birdies, should Snackman be losing, disable zee Kooban—do NOT take him out, I need him….but DO take out Frik. Ven all is said and done, ve vill rule and triumph over all! Speaking of, did you drop off “zee bait bombshell”?
Eon Pig: Ol bee-otch Sofia’ll get it during the Super thing, sqwak. But yo, back up a flip bout the duel, sqwak! Snackey ain’t no wrestler like Delikado, so what iffin he kick his vegan punkass ass right off the bat, sqwak? Leaves us no opening and Delikado’s looking mighty again, sqwak!
Prince Otto Sonsson: Zen vee regroup. I vill be near at hand—fly zoo me, and vee vill prepare a counter to Delikado, title gold or not around his waist. Your FGA careers can begin good and proper, know vat I mean…?
Eon Pig cocks the closest thing to a pigeon smile across his beak and clacks his talons together in fiendish delight.
Eon Pig: Word, sqwak! First thing I wanna do as a pigeon tag team is peck them Fujiko boobies, sqwak! You see those things during the Main Event tonight, sqwak? Fiiiiine Chinese food boooooiiii, sqwak! I mean, they looked like--
(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)
Sofia Monzón: I’m sorry your EnviKado reunion bordering on love match didn’t succeed. You two were so united in your beating everyone around, but now the beatings were on each other and who knows if your marriage will ever recover. Still, it’s a more sensical love story than Fifty Shades of Grey.
Sofia and Delikado sit opposite each other, an unknown amount of time after the last Vertigo.
…………………………
Sofia Monzón: I never said I was happy. Being right isn’t always a good thing, believe it or not. Being right so far has meant the balance shifting negatively, with too little momentum in your corner heading to Only The Strong Survive.
……….
Sofia Monzón: I don’t “suppose” anything. Compared to the relationship between Fujiko and Izzy, yours and Susan’s isn’t serious enough. I imagine even after this last show, you and Envi teaming against them for the titles would be a serious contender. But it seems you’re sticking with that amateur to the very end, so I ask…is it worth losing a major ally like Evan Envi, a pillar of the FGA realm, to fulfill some fantasy that Susan Kent will snuggle with you once you’ve finally reacquired your former vigor?
….
Sofia Monzón: You….You “don’t know…”? Well then—
…………………………………….
Sofia Monzón: …Okay, I’ll let you finish.
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Sofia Monzón: Now you’re the one trying to be right. If Fujiko didn’t already have Envi, and Izzy didn’t already have Seth Iser to combat on the same night, you probably wouldn’t be able to best them as you’re currently sitting. Still, even if they only had you two to face alone, they carry belts that have no established or even satisfying history like the World Tag Team titles. They have nothing worth proving, little to defend--they aren’t the Chaotics. Every reign attached to the belts you’re fighting for has little glory in the titles themselves, it’s all in the name-value behind the holders.
…………
Sofia Monzón: *scoff* I’m alluding to what you’ve done to “insignificant” titles in the past because that can be your weapon against two of the biggest names this company’s ever held! What? Do you want me to fawn over some “gropy mentor and his borderline illiterate pupil” storyline that’ll help you succeed? Because I won’t. It won’t. This isn’t “nostalgia”, it’s grasping for the securest ground you have in an otherwise insecure contending world. You’ve made “second-tier” titles into Main Event, Pay-Per-View poster-gracing symbols of entire industries. That’s the story you can work to paint for the US Tag Team Championships. While all eyes and all focus are put on the World Title and the Pride Title, you sneak in and snatch away those US Tag Titles like the grubby title-snatching Cuban we both know you work well at being. After that, you can begin going from contender to contender, working and winning back some semblance of your former career, undoing the physical damage you’ve done to yourself, stealing the people’s love and respect, reclaiming something of the FEAR your name used to inspire in the wrestling ranks, and then, once THAT story is told, you can return to your Susan Kent story, assuming she’s still breathing and useful, and if you still MUST have her…then take the bitch. But only after you’ve secured yourself on solid, trusted ground in the FGA.
……
Sofia Monzón: “Trust her”? Like you trusted Evan…? Who even said tag teams had to trust one another anymore? Fujiko and Izzy certainly don’t paint a proper image of “BFFs”. No. Forget trust. It’s about playing the odds, about manipulating the scene to your advantage, about the number of headaches you induce through stubbornness until every defiant man and woman in this place lays down their sword and relents that your cause is too mighty an egg to crack.
……………………………………
Sofia leans forward a bit, looking her client square in the eye with a slight darkness of warning.
Sofia Monzón: Serious or joking, Delikado, you do *not* speak of my son and the lessons he can learn. You haven’t even had a proper title fight in…Jesus, YEARS. But still, Ewan and I haven’t even decided yet if we want Hector to follow the business that flows through his veins. He’ll be a real fighter to be sure. What’s more, I want him to be an honorable one, a wrestler you can believe in. Not like you, cut-throat, schemer, whore-monger, glory-flaunter, etcetera, etcetera…
…………
Sofia Monzón: You’re welcome. That’s your essence, for better or worse, good or evil, so trust those over anything else, and I don't see why you can't become a champion again. Hold onto that, even if it makes you alone out there with no partner. Hell, forget partners…we can always trade yours out.
…………………………………
Sofia Monzón: *chuckle* It was worth a try. Anyway, it’s late, we’re all tired. Let’s go find Ewan and get out of here. There’s plenty of battles ahead, and as your manager I insist you rest up for them.
She goes to push Delikado in his wheelchair and they begin to exit the room.
………………………………………………..
Sofia Monzón: I’m actually going to beg you NOT to bring up our relationship, even if it gets you off the Susan Kent fan boat for a few moments. I admit, we had our "fun", but now it's over. We were never meant to be, and I’d say we’re all the stronger for it.
…………..
Sofia Monzón: Mhmm…and ONLY the strong, you shameless name-dropping bastard.
The two depart reminiscing on their long shared history as we cut to black.