lemon haze
Apr 1, 2019 23:41:10 GMT -5
Post by The Mason on Apr 1, 2019 23:41:10 GMT -5
i got a girl. i think i love her.
February 26, 2019
San Diego, California
“Two fucking weeks and there’s nothing they can find? Nothing.”
Sadie said it aloud for the first time. With each passing day, Ellie, or Adam, or her mother would ask for an update. It was good of them. Legitimately, it warmed Sadie to know that they were invested, but she would find another way to avoid answering the question. For two weeks, she’d found a way to avoid answering the question-- because she had no answer.
There was no update.
Sherry had crossed the border over four weeks ago and that was as much as anyone could tell her. Shit Sadie was pretty certain she already knew. But now her hands were shaking and she was sitting in the empty parking lot of an overpriced seafood restaurant next to Marc Argueta, who struck a match in an effort to light the joint squeezed between his lips. She was spilling her guts to a dude in a bowtie that smelled like some odd combination of cheap wine and crab seasoning who didn’t even ask for the spilling of emotions fresh off his nine-hour work shift. Perhaps, Sadie thought, this was rock bottom.
“That’s fucking wild,” Marc said, holding in the hit from the joint before passing it over to Sadie. “Who’s looking into it? People from Nevada or people from Cali?” He exhaled, filling the Lexus RX with smoke.
“From here,” Sadie said quietly before taking the paper between her lips, breathing deep. Exhale. “What is this?”
“Lemon haze,” Marc muttered, beaming proudly. “Doesn’t make the shit you’re dealing with better but it doesn’t hurt, right?”
Another puff-- and a coughing fit-- later, and Sadie handed the joint back to Marc, holding up her hand before moving it to the keys in the ignition, turning it to bring the SUV to life.
“Where do I need to take you? Adam’s?” Sadie asked.
Marc shrugged. “If that’s easiest. Closer than my place.” He took a puff from the joint, leaning back in the seat before turning to Sadie. “Thanks for the ride. My car should be out of the shop tomorrow.” Another hit. “What do you tell people when they ask about her?”
Sadie couldn’t call it abrupt. She had started it after all.
“I-- I’d rather not talk about it anymore,” Sadie muttered.
“Is that what you say when people ask? Or is that what you’re telling me?” Marc asked quietly, taking a third hit before passing the haze back to Sadie.
“That’s what I’m telling you,” she replied. “I shouldn’t have said anything. It was just a bad day.” She waved off the offer. “I’m good right now. I guess we’ll just go to Adam’s.”
Marc pulled his hand back, but kept his gaze on Sadie. “You don’t go back to your house a lot do you?”
Sadie shook her head, rolling her eyes a bit as she pulled the RX into drive. “Does it make a difference to you?”
“No, no. I get it. I’m not trying to be weird.” Marc shrugged a little. “I know when my parents split up, my dad had a really hard time going back to our house. We would stay with like, my grandparents, or his friends. I didn’t think anything of it when I was a kid but it makes more sense when I get older… the more stuff that happens, I guess.” He took one more hit from the joint before flicking the roach from the window and turning to Sadie again. “Just hard to go back. Feels like there’s not any air in there. But eventually, he--”
“Marc,” Sadie interrupted as they approached the stop sign that separated the parking lot from the main road. “I appreciate it. I just…” She glanced at him. “Not right now.”
“Alright.”
There wasn’t much to say after that. For minutes, the ride was silent. Marc mentioned something about the radio. It didn’t immediately register to Sadie, but after a delay she gave him a nod, gesturing toward the dial, allowing Marc to choose the station. The vocals of John Easdale were surging through the car a moment later. Not Sadie’s first choice, but as with many things, a welcome distraction as they drove through the night. Such a welcome distraction that Sadie didn’t notice the frantic buzzing of her phone as it sat facedown in the cupholder.
in my dream she’s on a beach.
November 22, 2018
San Francisco, California
“We don’t have to stay long,” Sadie muttered as the elevator doors opened.
It was almost comical-- the long, foreboding walk down the hall toward Janet Heim’s door, which sat at the opposite end. Over the years, that long gaze down the narrow corridor became less and less traumatizing but it still left a lump in her throat.
Sherry mumbled a little, though she wasn’t trying to hang back or drag her heels so to speak. “Ain’t gonna hit nobody, we can stay long as you wanna honey.”
In her hands was a covered dish, something Sherry had stubbornly made and brought with them, even though she knew how people could be about that sort of thing. The dish itself was an old blue and white corningware oven-to-table with a little glass lid, the food was a simple broccoli rice and cheese casserole filled with caramelized onions and mushrooms. It was the one thing that Sherry could remember her Momma making, and also remembered how to make.
“Ain’t gonna, you’ll see.”
Eyes still planted firmly ahead, Sadie stepped off the elevator and without an ounce of sarcasm, quietly replied with, “well… don’t make promises you can’t keep.” She knew her family. Habitual line-steppers.
“...ain’t gonna hit nobody inside the house?” A tiny hint of a grin, that came and went before Sadie could be sure it was there, and then Sherry took a deep breath. “I can do that one aight.”
Sadie nodded faintly, but her gaze remained locked ahead. With a deep breath, she led the way down the hall. The journey was one that seemed to take forever. She knew what was on the other side of the door, but the nervousness came from what she didn’t know. She didn’t know what Janet was going to say to Sherry. She didn’t know how many people had gathered inside the apartment. But with as much confidence as she could muster, she raised a hand to knock on the door and--
--her heart almost sank as it popped open before she had the chance.
Janet Heim stood in the doorway. Slightly taller than Sadie, and slightly less round than she’d been a few months prior when Sadie saw her last. Fake tanning had still hadn’t wreaked havoc on her skin and her vibrant, red hair was tied back into a ponytail as per usual. Her expression was blank at first as her gaze drifted from Sadie to Sherry. The silence, even if only a few seconds long, was overwhelming.
“Happy Thanksgiving,” Sadie said to the woman that was essentially her step-grandmother. “Sherry, this is Janet. Janet, Sherry.”
Janet looked toward Sherry coolly, the corner of her mouth twitching into a small smirk. “I know who she is.” She gave Sherry a once-over, leaning slightly against the door frame. “Smells good. What’d you bring us?”
Sherry kept her tone remarkably level, though there was no hiding that full-on Texas twang in her voice. “Broccoli and cheese casserole.” A deliberate pause as she made eye contact with Janet. “Ain’t even use Cheez Whiz, since it’s Thanksgiving an’ all.”
“Oh, what a shame. Stevie loves Cheez Whiz.” Janet smiled in a way that chipped at Sadie’s soul a bit. The seventy-one year old turned to Sadie with a raised brow. “Hopefully you haven’t told Sherry to come here and spoil us. Oh-- come in. Come in.” Janet turned, walking into the kitchen, speaking to Stevie, who was visible, facing away from the door on the couch, eyes planted on the TV in front of him. Janet continued with, “Stevie, Sadie’s new lady friend brought us a broccoli and cheese casserole and even used fancy cheese.”
Sadie knew the words were taunting and sarcastic but there was no way she could prove it by hearing Janet’s tone. But her eyes darted toward Stevie, whose eyes darted toward her at the mention of the phrase “lady friend.”
“Huh.” Stevie blinked before looking at Sherry, eyes narrowing as he tried to figure out how he felt about the situation. “Well. Hello.” He nodded to himself a bit, looking to Janet, then to Sadie, then to Sherry. “Sorry. When you say ‘lady friend’, you do m--?”
“Girlfriend,” Sadie stated.
“Ah. Cool.” He flashed Sherry a thumbs-up. “Hello.” Polite. But with more awkwardness this time.
“Yeah, Sadie’s pretty cool.” Sherry paused and then put on a smile that showed most of her perfect white teeth, and upped the sugar in her tone despite the way she knew Sadie would look at her afterward. “A pleasure t’make your acquaintance Stevie.” A pause and the smile went toward grin as she looked at Janet. “Was real nice of ya to invite us.”
Janet raised a brow, wise to the tone, but she took the dish from Sherry’s hands and moved it to the stove before asking, “Sadie, is your mom coming by?”
“No. She and Anna flew out to Raleigh to visit Dad.”
“Then it looks like it’ll just be us,” Janet said. She turned from the stove, eyes falling back to Sherry. “Unless you had someone that didn’t have anywhere to go on Thanksgiving, Sherry.”
That one was harder for Sadie to judge. She didn’t know whether Janet knew. Janet wasn’t above trying to force the most uncomfortable information out of Sherry anyway, but at least this time the question seemed genuine. A few different emotions seemed to chase over Sherry’s expression for a few seconds, then she shook her head. “Ellie’s with her other Momma.”
A deep breath that Sherry let out slowly, and she let the tension that was trying to set up camp in her shoulders go. “So it’s just me n’ Sadie. Shouldn’t be too bad on the clean up, leastways.”
Sadie’s eyes drifted to Sherry, noticing the change in her tone. If Janet weren’t standing between the two of them in the kitchen, Sadie would have reached out and grabbed Sherry’s hand. Something. But Janet’s voice cut through the silence.
“Then just us,” Janet repeated, looking between the two of them. “Well, we should be ready to eat in a few.” She set her sights on Sherry, eyes lighting up in curiosity as she clasped her hands together. “And then we’ll learn all about you.”
The slightest little smirk came and went on Sherry’s lips before she put that smile right back in place. “Well, I suppose, if’n you like.”
i’d like to get to know her.
February 27, 2019
San Diego, California
She’d gotten used to the little, annoying things at Adam Dragomirov’s house. The hot water in the shower seemed to disappear for seconds at a time every minute or so. That was the one she got over the quickest.
The floorboards in the hallway of the sixty-eight year old house that led to the guest room didn’t just creak, but groan, with the lightest step. It scared the shit out of her at first, but after a few unconvincing “it’s probably fine”s from Adam, she got over it.
Sleeping on the oversized air mattress in the guest room was still hard though. She couldn’t blame the house for it. Sleeping alone had, somehow, grown harder and harder with each night that passed, wherever it was. It was different than the three or four nights spent away at a time to travel to the next Flashpoint show. That was something Sadie had always been able to prepare for. But the nights at home and the nights like this… hardly.
BZZ-BZZT!
The sound of a neglected phone.
With one hand, Sadie used a hand-towel to soak the water out of her hair. She slid her feet into the slippers that sat at the foot of the air mattress before dragging herself toward the nightstand with a sigh. She lifted the phone, turning it over to look at the screen-- and would’ve shrieked had her voice not gotten caught in her throat. 6 Missed Notifications. All from D. Dylan. All missed calls. No texts. No voicemail.
“Shit,” she hissed, sliding her thumb across the screen, prompting a call back to the detective.
She paced as the phone rang. And rang. And rang. A fourth time. A fifth. A sixth. She felt her throat tighten. She knew how this worked. It was nearly one o’clock in the morning. Halfway through the seventh ring, this would go to voicemail. It would be another two, maybe three days before--
“This is Dylan.”
“Oh-- hey. It’s…” Sadie had to take a breath, finding a seat on the air mattress. “It’s Sadie. I was picking a friend up from work. Didn’t think to check back in when I…” She trailed off, exhaling. “Why’d you call so late?” Pause. “Did we find something?”
There were a few seconds where Detective Dylan didn’t say anything. Sadie could hear him moving. Walking. But it took almost an eternity for him to say, “not yet.”
And just like that, the air was sucked out of the room. Rapidly, Sadie cycled through emotions. Depression. Disbelief. Anger.
“Not yet?” Sadie repeated. “Then why did you call me at eleven at night?”
Dylan sighed. “Because. I may need you to do something.”
Sadie shook her head, throwing a hand up as if Dylan was there to see it, frustrated that he didn’t just spit it out to begin with.
“Okay. What is it?”
“You free in about eight hours?” Dylan asked.
“Yeah. I guess so.”
“Alright,” Dylan said. “When’s the last time you’ve been to Mexico?”
but then this fantasy’s not real.
November 22, 2018
San Francisco, California
“So, Sherry… who’s Ellie? Sibling? Daughter?”
Janet asked this casually as she scooped a spoonful of mashed potatoes onto her plate before gently pushing the bowl across the table toward an eager Stevie, who was already devouring a piece of ham. Sadie felt her cheeks growing hot. She wanted to cut the conversation off before it got started, but she knew Janet would be relentless if she interrupted. Best to let it pass.
“Adopted daughter.” Sherry’s tone stayed soft, and she just barely managed not to put her gaze on Sadie, where it much preferred to be. “She’s a good egg.” Which wasn’t entirely true, Ellie was a bit of a pistol but she was and had been the only person that could get Marissa and Sherry to behave somewhat civilly towards one another, if only for her sake.
“And you were married, right?” Janet asked with the delicacy of a garbage truck creeping through a fucking dining room. “With an adopted daughter? How much older are you than Sa--?”
“Janet. Fuck’s sake,” Sadie muttered.
“What?” Janet asked, turning to Sadie with eyes narrowed in confusion. “You’re not going to shame me for wanting to know everything about the woman you brought into my home. I’m just asking the same questions my mother would ask me.”
That wasn’t true. Janet’s mother, by all accounts, was a raging alcoholic who could barely remember her own address on the best days. But Sadie felt it was a poor time to bring it up. Sherry drummed her short, neatly trimmed nails on the table two or three times before she snickered. It was almost like she couldn’t help herself, and it took a few moments before she was sure she was going to be able to speak without snickering that way again, though it was still a near thing. “Yeah, Sadie. Janet wants to know everything about me. Well, we both know that ain’t true, she just wants a few juicy lil nuggets to make herself feel better and yanno, that’s pretty human I guess.”
She straightened up in her chair, settling in just a tad differently on the seat, planting her booted feet before she spoke. “How bout we start with I made more on the residuals of my merch from a company that’s been closed f’years last month than you likely made all of last year. How bout, we continue with I ain’t been divorced once, but twice. How bout, you stop makin my girl cringe every time you open y’mouth. Now it was a nice gesture, inviting us for Thanksgiving and I’d hate for this to go South cause Sadie? She deserves the world, and well, maybe I can’t give her that but I can buy her a damn big rock out of it to wear around if’n I get ready.”
Stevie stared at Sherry from across the table, mouth slightly agape for a moment-- before he chuckled to himself and reached over, dragging a bowl of collard greens closer, not even trying to contain the amused smile. “This is going great.”
Janet’s smile never wavered, even as Sadie buried her face in her hands. She kept her gaze focused on Sherry for a few moments before angling her head a bit.
“So. Divorced then,” Janet concluded.
Sadie groaned aloud. “Do we fucking have to--?”
“Absolutely we don’t,” Janet interrupted. “I wanted to know that my granddaughter was dating someone that we would all get to know and love like one of our own. But it’s starting to look like we’ve been introduced to a hothead that looks down on us.” A small glance in Sadie’s direction. “I don’t take it personally. We don’t know each other.”
Sadie rolled her eyes toward Sherry. “We should g--”
“But she cares about you. Obviously.” Janet calmly pulled her fork into one hand and knife in the other. “That’s a nice change at least.”
Sadie didn’t know how to react next. She stared at Janet as she calmly cut a piece of ham into tiny pieces, humming to herself as if there hadn’t nearly been a horrific altercaton. Sherry glanced at Sadie, then at Stevie as her lips quirked, doing her best to hold in one of those huge, bright and brassy laughs of hers that was trying to break loose. “Bet you, Sadie. That there’s pie, too. We should stay for pie.”
And just like that, it was like a weight had been lifted. Sadie blew out a breath, leaning back in her chair in relief.
“Good call,” Steve said, spooning potato into his mouth. “It’s honey pecan. No one’s leaving this room with a belt.” He pushed himself up with a dad-grunt and made his way to the kitchen from the dining room with a half-jog.
It had been a close call. But meeting one was a success.
insanity’s not real.
February 27, 2019
Tijuana, Mexico
“I cannot come anywhere near Tecate without stopping by La Mision and getting-- mmm-- authentic huevos rancheros. I don’t quite understand how you’re turning this down, but…” Dylan paused to take a bite of his breakfast, sighing in satisfaction. “I’ll assume you’re just not a breakfast person. Fair. I didn’t appreciate this kind of thing until I was twenty-eight. Twenty-nine or so. Mmm.”
Sadie sat in the passenger seat of the SUV, eyes locked on the small, Tijuana cafe. It was the last place Dylan was able to track Sherry to. A month ago. Then her movement just-- ceased.
“Did we have to drive thirty miles out to get eggs with salsa?” Sadie asked quietly.
Dylan scoffed softly. “Give it a couple years. You’ll get it.” He forked anoter bite into his mouth before raising his gaze to the cafe, nodding toward a couple emerging from the front doors. “Recognize anybody yet?”
Sadie shook her head a bit. “Definitely would’ve said something by now if I did.”
“Well, keep your eyes peeled. We may not know who it is we’re looking for. I’m sure we’ll know when we see them.” He took another bite before shrugging his shoulders a bit. “I wish I had something more concrete to go on. But it seemed foolish to not check things out.”
Sadie watched as another man walked out of the cafe. And then a woman. And then a group of teenagers. People entered. People walked out. Some local. Some clearly from the States side of the border. No one looked terribly out of place. No one looked terribly interesting.
An hour passed. No one stuck out.
Then another. The sun had changed positions to the point where the door of the cafe didn’t even look the same. The interior was visible now. Sadie could see that there was virtually no one inside. For the first time-- at least for the first time she would admit-- the excursion seemed pointless.
“Alright,” Dylan muttered, pushing open the door of the truck. “I’m gonna run inside and use the restroom. Might grab a coffee or something. Patronage.” He swung his legs, dropping down out of the vehicle before turning to Sadie. “Can I get you anything?”
Sadie shook her head. “Thanks.”
Dylan smiled faintly. “Hang tight. Keep your eyes peeled.” He slammed the door shut and turned, walking into the cafe, leaving Sadie alone in the truck.
She sighed, leaning forward to turn the dial on the radio. Static. Chatter. Static. Bullshit. Static. And-- finally, some twenty-something year old tejano music that at least had some rhythm to follow. Better than the silence that Sadie had developed a love-hate relationship with over the past four weeks.
Pulling her hand off the dial, Sadie sat upright-- and then it happened.
That was when she saw her.
She didn’t think it was real at first. But it was clear as day. Walking to the cafe front door, she was hard to miss with that light blond hair of hers cut in a razor pixie style that would have made Mia Wallace proud at how clean the edges were. Those amazing green eyes of hers were partially concealed with a pair of expensive sunglasses, though the rest of her outfit didn’t speak of wealth, despite the brand new Jeep she’d gotten out of. Jeans that had seen better days, a HELL branded t-shirt from two seasons ago, and one of those small backpacks that college kids liked to hide snacks in, certainly didn’t show off the way a pair of Louboutins and a Chanel dress might.
“Aurora?”
Sadie spoke it aloud, but there wasn’t a chance Aurora would hear her. And just a second later, she was gone, figure disappearing into the darkness of the cafe, walking too far in for Sadie to see her anymore.
There was no question about it. In this tiny cafe in Tijuana, blocks away from what any non-local would call a common road, that had been Aurora.
A moment later, Dylan pushed the door of the cafe open, shouldering his way out with a coffee in each hand. He gestured toward the passenger window as he approached and Sadie obliged, rolling it down.
“Told you not to get me anything,” she said.
“I know,” he said. “But they were brewing it when I walked in. Who in their right mind can resist fresh, south-of-the-border coffee?” With a smile, he lifted the cup up toward Sadie, who laughed a bit under her breath before accepting it.
“Thanks,” Sadie offered.
“De nada,” Dylan replied, taking a sip. He leaned against the door of the truck and nodded toward the cafe. “Anything interesting happen while I was gone?”
Sadie kept her gaze trained on the front door. For a moment she was quiet, but she offered the slight shake of her head before turning back to Dylan. “No.”
Dylan nodded a bit, taking another sip. “No need to worry. We’ll keep this spot in mind. I’ll come back and check it out a few times on my own. Trust me. Sooner or later… we’ll find something.” He glanced toward the cafe. “I’ve got a gut feeling.” He gave the passenger door a pat before making his way around the front of the truck, back toward the driver’s door.
Sadie didn’t know why she’d kept the truth hidden. She didn’t know if it would help her or hinder her. In the moment, it didn’t matter. She couldn’t explain it. But like the detective, she had a gut feeling if nothing else.
so i can’t say the way i feel.
ooc; credit to mina for her help with co-writing! <3 <3