2018 DDT3 Press Conference Thread

[FGA Office]

DDT3 Press Conference
Pepsi Center
Denver, CO
September 19, 2018 (in character)
Start Time: 11 am EST
Invitees: Best for Business, The Bad Boys, RubyWay, AAA, Fujiko Mine & Izzy Anders, Sex & Mercy, SHINIGAMI, The Sweet Sweet Word of Jimmy Sprinklez
Deadline: September 17 at 9pm EST (OOC)

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The following is a press conference for the 2018 Dynamic Duos Tag Team Tournament. The names listed above are the wrestlers who have been invited to this press conference. For reporters, you are more than welcome to use FGA's (Spencer Burke, Jessie Pederson and Amanda Johnson). Or you can use your home fed's interviewers if you would prefer. Or you can make up your own. Doesn't matter. IC, this press conference takes place on Wednesday, September 19, 2018 at 11 am EST. The Quarters, Semis and Finals will be taking place later that night. For reference on past press conferences, click here.

[Izzy Anders]

When the unlikely duo of the Pride Champion and the former Undisputed Champion came up, people were skeptical if they could put aside their awkward differences to co-exist. Advancing in Dynamic Duos over a very game Nick Redfield and Danielle Vasquez proved that in the ring, Fujiko and Izzy were an optimal force to be reckoned with. It led to some interesting results. The Apex Goddess was met with a few boos from those who felt her agreement to partner with the Mindkiller was a mistake waiting to hurt her. On the other side, Izzy received some cheers from properly teaming and helping Fujiko advance in the tournament. Yet, when the two entered the press conference room separately, the understanding that not everything could be put aside was presented for every eye and camera lens to see. Furthermore, Fujiko brought her Amazon of a manager, XENA, along with her.

The key image that would flood multiple wrestling news sources, regardless of what may be said, would be the forced rift between the two. If it wasn’t where they selected opposing seats, it would be the current reality of Xena wedging herself between Izzy and Fujiko, and the two not being able to share a glance. The aggressive confrontation on Vertigo gave definition to what was beneath the surface, but in the conference room, it was like they were trying to avoid acknowledging it subtly. Unfortunately, the event was on replay for the past few weeks, not only on screen but in the heads of the two competitors. The same awkwardness infected the reporters, who shuffled in their chairs, trying to figure out the best way to approach asking them. Fujiko may be professional, but Izzy’s fascination with disturbing the media with her boisterous attitude may cause tensions to flare.

Amongst the crowd, a reporter who knew herself to be courageous stood up. Izzy’s eyes follow her movements. Elena Musgrave stiffens up, knowing the look was accusatory in nature. A rebel against the system, Izzy may think Elena a cog in the machine, a voice of the system.

Elena Musgrave: Hi, I-

Izzy Anders: Elena Musgrave for APEX Magazine. I remember you.

Elena seems perturbed by the interruption and Izzy’s almost robotic acknowledgment of her existence. She tucks it behind the veil of preparedness she decides to radiate. Fujiko glanced over, raising an eyebrow at her partner.

Elena Musgrave: Congratulations on making it onto the big stage. Obviously, it’s going to be a challenge for you both to push through--

She pauses for what was a few milliseconds, but to her, it felt longer. Izzy’s eyes widen and narrow. What causes the momentary pause was Izzy shifting her position and settles her chin on top of her hands.

Izzy Anders: What?

Elena Musgrave: Nothing.

Izzy Anders: Oh really?

Elena Musgrave: Yes, really, anyways. It’ll be a challenge for you both to push through to the finals. DDT3 has now reached the stage where only the best remains and seeing as you two have such a...tumultuous energy, I’m curious to know one thing.

Elena’s eyes trail over to Fujiko.

Elena Musgrave: I’m one to get the serious questions out early. How will you manage?

Izzy takes a deep breath, starting to speak, but then Elena stops her.

Elena Musgrave: Sorry, Ms. Anders, I want to hear from Ms. Mine first.

There’s an audible shift as Elena’s jab reaches Izzy. Izzy snickers lowly and relaxes in her seat, pushing it off as silly banter and nothing more. She “gives” the floor to Fujiko. She, who has been sitting back in the chair she was afforded, leans towards Elena.

Fujiko Mine: Please, call me Fujiko.

She presents a kind smile.

Fujiko Mine: How will we manage? I present our main event match on Vertigo as “Exhibit A”. To the detriment of our opponents, we worked rather well together. My motivation to win aligns with Izzy’s. We may have had our ...differences…

She glances in Izzy’s direction, aware that they cannot share a look.

Fujiko Mine: ...in the past, but she’s made it clear to me that she would not have approached me was she not serious about winning. Until she proves otherwise, I am going to work with her towards our common goal of victory.

Elena seems fine with the answer before giving her attention back to the woman she so scornfully rejected only a moment ago. Izzy acts as if she was shocked that Elena even wanted her answer at this point.

Izzy Anders: I thought for a second that I wasn’t important.

Refraining from sighing, Elena prepares her next question.

Elena Musgrave: No, I know your answer to the previous question. My question is related to the relationships you have in FGA. Namely, I’m curious to how exactly will you react to another story that could interfere with your progress in this tournament. Fujiko Mine and the Good Guys? Ms. Anders, without raising any accusations that the fans may have thought of, how are you going about the possibility of your--ahem--”mother”, Evan Envi, ruining this shot for you?

Izzy repeats the word “accusation” under her breath, a glimmer of agitation overpowering the lackadaisical air she had earlier. Elena had put her on the backfoot.

Izzy Anders: Accusations? What kind of accusation could any of you possibly have towards me and Envi? I can’t believe--

Elena Musgrave: I’m not asking about an accusation. I’m asking about your feelings on what he and the Good Guys have done to your tag team partner? It’s very possible that they’ll interfere in her matches, which by definition, means that Envi can ruin your chances at winning DDT3.

Izzy grits her teeth subtly enough for only Xena and Fujiko to notice.

Elena Musgrave: It’s not my place to ask about anything that I may or may not personally think.

Izzy Anders: Whatever.

The former Undisputed Champion readjusts in her seat, struggling to get comfortable again.

Izzy Anders: It’s not right. I don’t think I have any place to say anything beyond that. It’s not my fight, but I will make it my fight if they try to destroy what Fujiko and I have trained for. If you’re wondering which side I will take, then you should just know on a base level that I look out for myself. I want to win DDT3. I went with the best person that I knew that could realize that with me. If I look out for numero uno, then for this tournament, Fujiko is also numero freakin’ uno.

Fujiko’s eyebrows raise slightly.

Fujiko Mine: You heard what she said. I won’t say any more on that subject, should I be seen as ‘tempting fate’ or ‘provoking’ anyone.

Fujiko leans back, and as she does a gentleman stands up, hand up to draw attention to himself. Fujiko’s lips bloom into a smile as she sees who it is.

Fujiko Mine: Harvey, hey!

The identified man scratches lightly at the back of his neck, a sheepish grin playing on his lips.

Harvey Cross: Ms...Fujiko. It’s pleasure. Harvey Cross, Talk of Town Magazine. It’s somewhat well known that you have your roots in tag team wrestling. You were a multi-time tag team champion along with Stacia Chamera early in your career. My question is a bit split. Did you reach out to her to participate in this tournament? And regardless, was there a desire to return to your origins that drew you to join this tournament?

Fujiko’s brows knit in thought for a second as she considers how best to handle his question.

Fujiko Mine: Stacia is so beyond thinking about wrestling right now. She’s a wife and mother to a beautiful boy. I do keep up with her here and there...but she isn’t interested in coming back. The first year I was here for Dynamic Duos, I actually approached her with the idea. She respectfully turned it down. I haven’t bothered to ask since.

She rests her head on her left hand, her shortened black hair swaying around her face.

Fujiko Mine: As for why I’m in this tournament? Izzy believes we can win it. I’ve been on record in the past in saying that I wanted to prove that I could be elite as a singles competitor, and I think my track record at this point speaks to that. But even with the past being what it was, working with Izzy has been a learning experience. And it also doesn’t hurt that winning the tournament gets us both one step closer to a goal that...while I can’t speak for her…

She gestures in Izzy’s direction.

Fujiko Mine: ...has certainly been on my mind.

There is a short pause. Fujiko decides to spell it out for those not saying anything. She wraps her hands around an imaginary bat and swings. She then shades her eyes with one hand, as if she is looking at something far away.

Fujiko Mine: Grand. Slam.

Her grin returns as she says it.

Harvey Cross: Well, Ms. Anders...was that in your plans at all?

Izzy nods her head.

Izzy Anders: Yeah, I'm chasing in SSWA, so why not FGA too? It might be a little moot seeing as what happened earlier in my career. I know that I got two left and a HOF to get before I can say that I did it all.

Harvey takes the answer before speaking again.

Harvey Cross: And why exactly did you not call on any of your CCM partners? Or even Savannah Taylor? Or any of Heroes Never Die?

Izzy rocks in her seat for a moment.

Izzy Anders: This answer may be a little boring, but what if I said that they were all busy?

There is a small snicker in the audience.

Izzy Anders: No, I said why I went with Fujiko. Don't read into it. There isn't some ulterior motive. It has been fun and we are both taking this tournament.

A tall blonde woman in a pantsuit stands up next.

Tina Rosiak: Tina Rosiak, Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. Thoughts on the rest of the field? You have some very interesting potential opponents, should you advance.

Fujiko leans into her microphone again.

Fujiko Mine: All of our opponents are dangerous. It’s why we’re having the tournament, instead of skating on names and recognition alone. SHINIGAMI worry me, as do Jimmy Sprinklez and Sherbert. Regardless of who advances there, they could give us trouble.

There is some laughter in the audience. Fujiko looks out in surprise.

Fujiko Mine: You may laugh, but they managed to beat Tommy and Aurora Jansen. That is no easy feat. And SHINIGAMI beat Shootcamp. They’ve been at the top of their game elsewhere, it stood to reason they would do the same here. But maybe they underestimated .PAAK and ASURA. Who knows. But they are out now, so we can’t worry about them.

Izzy follows up.

Izzy Anders: To put it bluntly, don’t ever think that we don’t see the skill of our opponents. It doesn’t matter if they wear some goofy costumes or they think they’re bad boys or whatever...they’re here for a reason. It’s because they’re good at what they do and they have the drive to make dreams a reality.

Izzy Anders: Victory is the end goal and what Fujiko and I believe is in our future, but it’s a future we have to forge for ourselves. No one in this tournament, especially not the two hungry ladies in front of us in the Quarterfinals, will give us a win. Amira and Mercy are two women that mirror many of my traits, for better or worse. With that, I’ve seen these two before. I have seen what they’re capable of. Amira, in particular, is measuring herself to be the next big thing in this new era of wrestling that is creeping up on us, if people like it or not. Sex and Mercy, despite the lewd name, is potentially the biggest threat, and it’s a damn shame that we got them this early. This is a main event quality endeavor, both for the viewers and for the both of us.

Another face stands up.

Kyle Cornell: Hi, Kyle Cornell, with the Toronto Wrestling Podcast, I think most of us were scared to ask this, but I’m going for it.

Izzy arches an eyebrow at the wording.

Kyle Cornell: Both of you come in with the biggest disadvantage. Um, you two aren’t on the same page? Or at least in the same vein as the other teams. In a tournament that demands cohesion, what have you two done to help mend that--

The screech of a chair silences Kyle from where Izzy stands up. Her bright eyes pierce Kyle while a scowl crosses her face.

Izzy Anders: We’re at a disadvantage? Please.

She steps from around the table, heading down the steps. Carrying her microphone with her, she closes the gap between the two. Kyle, obviously shaken, starts to sit down, but Izzy stops him with a point.

Izzy Anders: That’s all we’ve heard since we’ve registered. Everyone keeps spewing this garbage about how either I’m going to backstab her or Fujiko’s going to backstab me. It’s all the same with you people. No one’s talking about the fact that we’ve made it this far. It’s an insult to Dani and Nick, if you ask me. If we are at such a disadvantage, then why did they lose to us? Huh? Got something witty for that?!

While Izzy’s voice raises, security come forward to stop her from advancing any further.

Kyle Cornell: I-I was just asking what was on--

Izzy Anders: No! No! Enough! No one’s plotting against anyone! When Fujiko and I win this? I want all of you to keep pushing this stupid narrative of yours. When we are holding the tag team championships and the DDT3 trophy, I want all of you to try to keep spewing the same ol’ shit! Get your facts straight and stop being such a hivemind, you idiots!

Izzy shoves the microphone into the chest of the nearest security officer.

Izzy Anders: You know what? I’m done.

She shoots a look back at Fujiko, feigning a sincere, almost dotting expression, like a housewife to their lover.

Izzy Anders: Fujiko, dear, you’re better for this anyways. You can handle the rest.

The former Undisputed Champion then leaves the room without any word, her face hardened with latent rage towards the reporters. Fujiko watches her leave, and as she does; she stands herself.

Fujiko Mine: The question was valid, but despite the reports? Izzy and I work together in the ring. We may not see eye to eye outside of it, but when the bell rings...we have proven that the goal is more important than our respective egos.

She takes a second, then sighs.

Fujiko Mine: Well, it looks like that’s all of your time we’ll take up. Thanks everyone. We’ll be looking forward to appearing in front of you all, winners of this tournament.

She gives up a smirk, and places the FGA Pride championship over her shoulder. XENA leads the way, and the two of them disappear behind the curtain.

[Ashley Marie Chase]

AAA members Ashley Marie Chase and Antoinette Sands are awaiting their turn at the podium when AMC looks over at ANT who is reading “Things That The Aliens have supposedly done on Earth”. AMC chuckles and shakes her head at her Alien believing Partner but then grabs her arm and pulls her to the podium as it was there turn to address the media.

Amanda Johnson Amanda Johnson here and first let me say congrats to the two of you for winning the HKW Global Tag Team Championship.

AMC: Thanks we appreciate that right Ant?

AMC nudges ANT who is still reading her I Pad

ANT: What? Oh yeah right what she said

Chuckles from Press Row

Amanda Johnson Now that you have won those tag titles does that give you two more confidence going forward in the tournament?

AMC: Definitely. We always knew we were a great team together and these tag titles here prove that. Now we are totally focused on this tournament and the next round and we plan to be victorious once again. We don’t expect to lose and we fully expect to not only get the title shot for winning this thing but then win those belts as well. Nothing else matters right now.

ANT: I KNEW IT! I knew there was no way those Pyramids were built without Alien help.

AMC gives ANT a WTF look as the Press Core laugh

AMC: Next question.

Jessie Pederson: Jessie Pederson. So you two are on a major roll right now. How do you plan on keeping this momentum going as there are great teams still in this tournament.

AMC: By focusing on what is in front of us and taking it one team at a time and not looking past whoever we are facing. As i said we are focused and we will not allow anything to get our eyes off the ball or the prize at the end.

ANT: OOH they have proof that StoneHenge was actually built by Aliens and not humans. Very interesting.

AMC shakes her head and waits for the next question

Spencer Burke: Spencer Burke here and you said no distractions but it appears ANT is focused on something else. Will this be a problem you think?

AMC: No way. I realize to those not in AAA inner circle that it appears that ANT is not ready but i assure you ANT is awesome and come bell time she will the most focused person out there. She will be all over our opponents like White On Rice. Besides before we ever get out there our manager Peanut will have the best game plan for the match. Ashley Sullivan assures me that Peanut is a master strategist and war general so when we go to war we will be totally prepared.

AAA finish up the presser and are walking away

ANT: Ash, Ash you totally have to read this. You won’t believe how many things the Aliens built for us that they never got credit for. No wonder they hide in plain sight since we steal all their accomplishments. Come on check it out

ANT pulls AMC off to the side and makes her read the article on her I Pad

[BROOKFORD]

Trenton Snow and Ian McKinnon make their way across the stage to take their seat. Trenton is wearing a black double breasted suit with a white t-shirt and red tie. Ian is also wearing a suit, it’s white with a black button up shirt and red tie. Both men take their seat. Trenton leans forward into the microphone.



Trenton Snow: This is the part I was least looking forward to. Can’t wait for the intelligent questions you fine people are going to ask.



Ian McKinnon: That’s my good buddy’s way of saying hello. In truth, I see his point. Press conferences are mundane. No one wants to be here. Amanda, Spencer, you wouldn’t be here if you weren’t getting paid. FGA isn’t paying us for this. Why bother?





Trenton Snow: Its left up to us to put the fans asses in seats. Oh well. Lets get this over with, shall we?



Out in the crowd, Amanda raises her hand. Back on the podium, Trenton nods, acknowledging he’ll take her question.



Amanda Johnson: What brought the two of you to Frontier Grappling Arts to compete in Dynamic Duos?



Trenton turns to Ian to see if he wants to go first. Ian shakes his head. Its left to Trenton to answer Amanda’s question.



Trenton Snow: I have been out of the wrestling game for awhile. I got to the point where I didn’t feel like putting my body on the line anymore. The last company I was in stole my smile. Made me hate wrestling more than I already do. You would too if you had to deal with the most emotional bitches in the industry. Some backstage cultures are unbearable. BROOKFORD did tell me Dynamic Duos would be a thing. At first I didn’t want to do it. I had not paid attention to FGA until recently. The only wrestling I watched revolved around me helping my wife dissect her upcoming opponents.



Trenton Snow: The more research I did, the more it made sense for me to jump on the bandwagon. FGA Dynamic Duos is the premiere tag team tournament in wrestling. The wheels began to turn. Win or lose, I can use this tournament to put myself back on the wrestling map. There is nothing I love more than making money. Doing what is best for business. You heard my boy BROOKFORD say that so many times you’re probably annoyed hearing it?



Trenton pauses momentarily.





Trenton Snow: Tough luck. I’m the architect of this conglomerate. Why do you think BROOKFORD is going to become United States Champion? The same reason Ian and myself are going to steamroll through the rest of this tournament. We’re businessmen. Nothing personal.



Trenton winks. Amanda quickly follow up with.



Amanda Johnson: Based off the exchanges on Twitter, your first round match did feel personal. How satisfied were you and Ian to win that match?



Trenton clears his throat.



Trenton Snow: I am not new to trash talk. There is no ones skin I can’t get under. For Riley Sweet to blatantly dismiss us? Beating her and the beast was satisfying. To be completely objective, her attitude is NOT good for business. I am of the mind that every match has the potential to be a money maker. You just need to give people a reason to care. Did anyone in FGA know who me and Ian were? Did you know who Riley and her partner were? When you say silly things like your opponents aren’t competition. And you use National Joke Day to paint this picture the people your are wrestling are jokes, why should the fans care about the match?



Trenton sighs.



Trenton Snow: From that standpoint. Yes. I was a tad personally satisfied. Who looks like the joke now? Not me and Ian. We are still in this. What I am sad by is that we could have made some good money. Going out of your way to paint the competition as nobodies, which Ian and myself clearly aren’t, is not good for business. I sit back. I pay attention to the wrestlers on the Twitter machine. Their behavior is the reason why business is not as great as it should be.



Ian McKinnon: Jeez, you really do love the sound of your own voice.



Ian says with a smirk. Trenton chuckles.



Ian McKinnon: In all seriousness. Trenton is a great friend. Might ruin his cred a little bit. I don’t care. I got a call from him. Took some convincing for me to accept his generous offer. Last time we meet, wasn’t pleasant. I appreciate that Trenton is there when you need him most. Not always the most tactful. Or nice. In a world where people pretend to be good, I appreciate he is not fake. Plus I couldn’t pass up the chance to ruin the aspirations of tag team wrestling’s heros. Shame our opponents consider themselves Bad Boys. Best for Business are badder than two men who want to cling to being boys. We’re men with our eyes on the big picture.



Spencer Burke raises his hand. Ian and Trenton nod in his direction.



Spencer Burke Ian. Trenton. Whoever wishes to field this. Why do you believe Best for Business has the best chance to win Dynamic Duos?



Ian looks at Trenton. He pats himself on the chest.



Ian McKinnon: I’ll take this.



Trenton gives the motion to Ian that the floor is his.



Ian McKinnon: In 2014, BROOKFORD, Trenton and myself began on an odyssey. That was our original name; The Odyssey. I fell in love with the story. My main takeaway from it, life is all about the journey. In The Odyssey’s case, the main character took ten years to get home. Those ten years were filled with hardships. A lot of drama. Hope was lost, many times. The hero in that story eventually did make it home. The three of us; we were on good terms. We had a falling out. As luck would have it, Dynamic Duos allowed the opening for me to patch things up with Trenton and BROOKFORD. Long before we started doing what is best for business, our journey began as brothers. Our brotherhood is the backbone of what makes me and Trenton tick.



Ian McKinnon: Now put this in perspective, we had not teamed together in years. YEARS. You saw how we laid waste to Sweet Meat? Imagine what we are going to do to The Bad Boys? Imagine what we can do the rest of the field? I am not one to believe in fairytales. I have a good feeling about this. Trenton and I can have our own version of a storybook ending. How is that not best for business? The masses love stories. We’ll give them one... written by us.



Ian smirks.



Ian McKinnon: No one wants to see our story play out. We are the mercenaries. We are the guys who aren’t afraid to say we are using the sport of professional wrestling. Trenton was right. Wrestling uses us. The one constant about this sport, whether you are a self professed hero or bonafide villain, wrestling will chew you up, spit you out, it will find someone else to fill your role. No one likes the truth. Especially when it is hard. I assumed the role of hero for most of my career. Like Trenton predicted, the fans turned on me. I’m glad. I see the light now. With my brothers having my back, we will write the story none of the fans want to see happen. A Best for Business clean sweep across two shows.



Trenton cuts in.



Trenton Snow: We’re the real bad boys of this tournament. Tyson Gregory and Julian Savell likely chose their name because it sounds cool. There is a movie called Bad Boys. The theme to Cops opens with “bad boys, bad boys, what you going to do.” Lost count on all the relationship experts telling young men that women like bad boys. Bad boys aren’t special. Its commonplace. A cliche. Tyson and Julian want to brand themselves as a cliche, more power to them. Being a bad boy is not all that. Doing what is best for business? That should be the only concern. Not sounding cool. Me, BROOKFORD, Ian. We’re not doing the cool thing. Making money is the end goal. We know the main reason the neckbeards paid to see this. To watch us get beat. FGA, you can thank us now for the extra revenue. You’re welcome.



Amanda Johnson fires back.



Amanda Johnson: That’s preposterous.



Trenton rolls his eyes.



Trenton Snow: Your opinion is irrelevant. Do your job. Ask a question.



Amanda Johnson: How can you say that with the amount of talent in this tournament?



Trenton shrugs his shoulders.



Trenton Snow: Simple. The rest of the teams in this tournament are a bunch of neckbeards who dedicated their existence to become pro wrestlers. The only difference between the teams in this tournament and the common wrestling fan, the teams in this tournament actually had the guts to put their bodies on the line. The common wrestling fan, doesn’t, so they resort to being keyboard warriors who are paying my damn salary. I am not a neckbeard. I am not a wrestling fan. I am BUSINESSMAN...



Trenton pauses to allow what he just said to sink in.



Trenton Snow: I am also a prodigy. A natural. I am a former GCW World Champion for a reason. Perspective. Intelligence. And the ability to accept what professional wrestling is, a business. The rest of these neckbeards can get their panties in a bunch over what I have to say. In the end, I am the guy the neckbeards want to see get their ass kicked. Not many people can say that, can they? I am asset. I am marketable. I am the man. Ian? He gets it. Cash rules everything around, US. Best for Business is an idea you can’t kill. We are going to take this idea to the promised land. To everyone else in Dynamic Duos, when The Bad Boys fail, you got your shot to take us down. WE run this city. I dare you neckbeards to prove us, wrong!



Trenton stands up. Ian leans forward into the mic.



Ian McKinnon: Who wants to be Superman? Guess what, Superman is DEAD... just like the dreams and hopes of The Bad Boys, RubyWay, Triple A, Fujiko Mine/Izzy Anders, Sex & Mercy, SHINIGAMI and The Sweet Sweet Word of Jimmy Sprinklez walking out Dynamic Duos, the winners. Spoiler alert... Best for Business, wins!



Trenton and Ian fist bump. They walk off the stage not wishing to field anymore questions.

[Izzy Anders]

The press conference had been underway for about ten minutes or so. The wrestlers and media personnel alike have settled into their seats and positions. Suddenly, some rather loud sounds begin to emanate from the hallway. It isn’t long before the door to the conference room is kicked wide open. ASURA and .PAAK step through the threshold a few seconds later.

ASURA strides in with a loose hanging MIYAVI shirt, revealing some of the tattoos that litters the upper portions of her body. She wears some gaudy shades, probably out of some ironic motivation. The clicking of her black boots draws some eyes until she starts to walk up towards the podium. .PAAK is outfitted in black top, a Charter Club Chevron poncho, black shorts, a pair of Cole Haan sandals, and some Ray Bans aviator shades.

.PAAK has a large Good Times Burgers bag and Cookies and Cream custard shake in her hands. Her partner carries a big bag of Jalapeno Cheetos, which her hand is stuffed into while she gets up on the stage. Not even caring to take off her shades, she settles in a chair, but stops to slide out the other one for .PAAK with her foot. After doing so, she whips her legs over top and slams them on the desk, not caring of what materials she may have thrown off or whose personal space she had invaded. .PAAK takes a seat next to her. She sets her bag of food on the table and takes a seat in the chair, crossing her legs in the process.

ASURA kicks her microphone to the ground near her to be able to retrieve. The lazy gesture forces a disgruntled gaze out of some of the audience members, but they’re steadfast. She lifts it up with a casual grin. When she speaks, unfortunately, she chooses to speak in her native tongue of Japanese.

ASURA: Alright, out with it. I know y’all comin’ in here shocked that we made it past your pasty white boys. Y’all not ready with it because people were expecting Shootcamp to be here, talking all that good crap. So what now? Huh?

When she gets blank faces from the people who can’t translate and agitated ones from those who can understand her, she scoffs. She switches to English.

ASURA: We’re here to answer questions and we expect good ones. Don’t be shy now. None of you would be if the so-called status quo would have went on. Nah, .PAAK and I knew what was going on and we stomped that out so nicely for every doubter. We fucked up the gambling odds, but I know that we made one or two people have some heavy pockets.

A chubby, baby-faced reporter makes his presence known to ASURA.

JIMMY FRANCO: Err...ma’am? My, my name is Jimmy Franco.

.PAAK cuts her eyes in the man’s direction as she sips on her custard milkshake. ASURA snickers at his appearance and his nervousness, while selecting which Cheeto she was going to ingest.

JIMMY FRANCO: I, err, have question for the both of you.

.PAAK: Speak freely, darling. And be bold!

Jimmy nods before continuing.

JIMMY FRANCO: What is your motivation, in terms of the rest of the tournament? Owen made of disparaging comments towards the two of you prior to the first round, so it’s pretty clear what fueled you against Shootcamp. However, what’s going to fuel and push you to win the whole thing?

ASURA: To win, duh.

The silly answer aside, she flicks the Cheeto in Franco’s direction.

ASURA: What’s going to fuel us to win is the simple fact that people don’t expect us to win. Now there’s favorites. There are dark horses. Then there is us. We’re two lethal individuals, but we’re not afforded the respect that we deserve, because of what? Because we haven’t gone to some “mainstream” federation?

She shrugs.

ASURA: Whatever that means. In any case, we haven’t been in the sport for a century and a half. We haven’t won every belt known to man, but we’re not slouches. I have a World Championship under my record. .PAAK had a lengthy tag team title reign with our good friend, Misha. We’re two world caliber fighters in a world of world caliber fighters, but we deserve recognition and accolades based off the pretense that everyone else wants to get in our way and we’re not used to being told “no.”

ASURA snickers and chomps on a Cheeto, leaving it half-finished for a second.

ASURA: We can’t become wrestlers? Nah, we did just that. We couldn’t join one of the most illustrious tournaments in the world of wrestling? Nah, we did that too. Finally, two “tough girls” like us couldn’t beat the dogcrap out of Shootcamp?

A mocking laugh follows.

ASURA: Yeah, we were going to do that regardless.

.PAAK takes another sip of her drink before she answers.

.PAAK: I could say ditto. But I’m guessing that wouldn’t be suffice for you, yeah?

.PAAK: Jimmy sweetie, you’re well versed in the sport of professional wrestling, I assume. So it’s probably not a secret to you that sometimes the beauty of diamonds are overlooked and ignored. ASURA and I are two of those diamonds. ASURA is a former whole champion. But I’m willing to bet that ninety percent of you all didn’t know that until she mentioned it ago, despite all the research you claim to do. Me? I had recording shattering tag team reign over at In Your House; I’m also the current DIVINE Pro Dawn Champion. But most of the people here wouldn’t acknowledge that fact. It’s not happening in their home promotion, so they can bury their heads in the sands.

.PAAK pauses for a second.

.PAAK: But you can’t bury your heads in the sands when we’re beating the shit out of you.

A smirk crosses her face.

.PAAK: Darling, we’re motivated by our respective desire to win and succeed. But we’re also fuelled by the fact that we are two of the best to step into the ring. Owen G and Stormy Storm? Both of them are former world champions—and you saw what happened to them.

.PAAK lets out a small laugh.

ASURA: They got dusted!

ASURA follows the laugh with her own, which leads to Jimmy sitting down.

LINCOLN BAILEY: Lincoln Bailey here with the Sin City Podcast, your opponents are...a peculiar bunch, but they managed to take down a favorite in the tournament. They beat Tommy and Aurora. That’s big. What’s your plan against them?

ASURA: See, these two are actually something new. I don’t get it. Spread fun and cheer with a hint of creepiness around it? Yeah, that’s definitely new, but it’s the same as what we planned to do throughout the tournament. We’re going to beat them and put an end to the wonderful little show they got going on. I hope the kids aren’t too disappointed by that.

ASURA rolls the bag up.

ASURA: Tonight, the villains win.

In the midst of ASURA talking, .PAAK had bitten into one of her Sicilian Black Bean burgers. She finishes chewing before she speaks.

.PAAK: Forgive me, sweetie. The flight from Japan has left me famished.

.PAAK takes another sip of her milkshake before she answers.

.PAAK: There’s something, endearing, about our opponents. They’re cute. They don’t run their mouths and talk shit. They don’t fake the funk. All in all, the seem two genuinely nice people. That’s refreshing…

Everyone in the room can feel the “but” coming.

.PAAK: It’s just too bad that this isn’t a tournament for nice people. This is a tournament made up of people who are hungry and trying to make names for themselves. There are some ghastly monsters in this tournament. Me and ASURA are two of them. And guess what, darling? Monsters don’t give a good damn about cuteness and innocence—they simply roam to devour.

She flashes a smile.

.PAAK: That’s exactly what’s going to happen to The Sweet, Sweet World of Jimmy Sprinklez.

Lincoln takes a seat as a tall black man stands to his feet.

CORBIN JENKINS: Corbin Jenkins from Your Fight Magazine. I have a question for .PAAK.

.PAAK: Mhm!

CORBIN JENKINS: It’s going to be a grueling night for you and your tag team partner if you make it out the quarterfinals. Are you truly prepared for the marathon that is Dynamic Duos?

.PAAK: Of course!

Her response is emphatic.

.PAAK: You’ve got to remember where ASURA and I come from, Mr. Jenkins. We were trained in Japan. A lot of people take that pretty lightly. It’s foolish on their part, but it’s whatever. We were trained to endure pain and dish it back out. We were trained to keeping fighting and go the distance. We were trained to never bow down.

.PAAK nods her head.

.PAAK: You said Dynamic Duos was a marathon? Swanky! Then it’s one that ASURA and I have been training for this marathon for a number of years now.

Corbin nods, satisfied with her answer. A younger Japanese woman makes her presence known.

YURI FUJIWARA: Hello. My name is Yuri Fujiwara. I represent Fighting Spirit Magazine. I have a question for ASURA specifically.

ASURA lowers her cheek onto her hand, providing a rather bored expression. She motions with her free hand for Fujiwara to continue.

YURI FUJIWARA: Despite your previous accomplishments, you have always been considered by many to be somewhat of an underdog in the sport of professional wrestling. Do you feel like an underdog walking into the quarterfinals?

ASURA: What’s an underdog?

The crowd clamors over the very blunt reaction.

ASURA: I don’t mean that literally, of course, but what’s an underdog? An underdog to me is a person who knows that there’s a mountain and they know the struggles that come alongside that. That’s also a person who is too weak of will to treat themselves any better. It’s a step away from defeatist. So I don’t come into this tournament as the underdog, because I don’t believe in that. It doesn’t matter if the other teams have more experience, size, accolades, or whatever, SHINIGAMI will stand against them all and beat them all.

ASURA stands out of her seat, grabbing the microphone fully.

ASURA: I don’t put myself beneath anyone because I’m the greatest there is in my mind and there’s no one out there that can convince me otherwise. It’s a mentality that more people should adopt, rather than try to parade around in some stupid act of false ego.

She takes off her shades.

ASURA: So no, Fujiwara-chan, I don’t feel like the underdog. I feel like the Alpha. I feel like the hound among these pups and .PAAK feels the same, I would bet.

YURI FUJIWARA: Then I’ll turn and give a question to your tag team partner. .PAAK, do you feel anything different here? You’re teaming with a new person and you got a long line of competitors ahead of you. As one of the more experienced tag team practitioners here, what have you brought to couple with the, well, egotistical flair that your partner has?

The question causes .PAAK to smirk.

.PAAK: Darling, let me start off by saying this. I’m not a very trusting person. Blame it on my life experiences. Blame it on my upbringing. People in general? They’re out for self and looking to use you…

She pauses.

.PAAK: Because of that, I only team with people that I know for a fact have my back. People that I would trust with my life. ASURA is on that short list. So really, it doesn’t matter if she is a new partner or not. I’ve got the skills. She’s got the skills. And we’ve got the chemistry of tag team made in heaven.

She nods.

.PAAK: Now, in reference to the latter part of your question…

.PAAK pauses for a moment to think. She then snaps her fingers.

.PAAK: Let me put it to you like this. My girl ASURA is a great force of destruction. A Tsunami, if you will.

She nods once more.

.PAAK: Do you try to tame a force of destruction? Do you try to snuff it out? No. That would be unproductive and ultimately futile.

She holds up her index finger.

.PAAK: But what you can do is redirect that great force. And that’s why me and ASURA work as a team. If she goes a little bit too far to the left during the match, I’ll be there to gentile redirect her to the right. That’s called balance. And balance is the pillar to any marvelous pairing, yeah?

ASURA checks her phone, hearing an alarm go off.

ASURA: Oop, we gotta go, .PAAK.

.PAAK looks a bit disappointed.

.PAAK: Oh fiddlesticks! And we were just starting to have fun and what not.

With that ASURA and .PAAK stand to their feet. They gather up their items and make their way out of the conference room.

[TheSweetSweetWorld]

Tinkling chimes begin to echo through the room, playing the sound of Teddy Bears' Picnic. Everyone present knows that they can only mean one team - The Sweet, Sweet World of Jimmy Sprinklez, and Sherbet too! The ice cream man himself swaggers in and bellows just as loud as he can:

Jimmy Sprinklez: 'OW DO, BOYS AND GIRLS!

He greets everyone with a big wave as Sherbet bounces up and down behind him, excitedly, clapping her hands.

Jimmy Sprinklez: Oh, it warms your pal Jimmy's heart no end to see you all here! Look at you all! Don't you look lovely?

Jimmy is plenty vocal as he walks down between the rows of seats towards the stage. Following a bit behind him, Sherbet's wearing an old fashioned cinema usherette's tray, and she's throwing out little packets of candy from it into the audience. Once Jimmy reaches the podium he looks around at all the journalists just as happy as can be, or at least as happy as can be for someone wearing a mask.

Jimmy Sprinklez: Look at all these wonderful new friends, Sherbet! I can't wait to get to know everybody!

He leans on the stage, resting his pointy chin on his fist, while Sherbet makes sure everyone got some sweets (in special The Sweet, Sweet World of Jimmy Sprinklez branded bags!) before putting her tray down and then standing just to his side.

Jimmy Sprinklez: Oh, isn't this lovely? Look at all these happy faces. Every one a new friend waiting to be made. But, girls and boys, you might be asking... just where in the world are your pals Sherbet and Jimmy this week? Well, you see kiddies, we're here at what is called a "press conference"! All of these people are writers, you see, for newspapers or websites or magazines - or they talk about wrestling on the radio or television. Isn't that exciting!

Sherbet clasps her hands together and bounces again energetically, obviously agreeing with Jimmy. The journalists raise their hands, or their pens, or clear their throats, or various other ways to make it clear they have questions for the saccharine team.

Jimmy Sprinklez: Now, children, all these hands you see? That means these people have lots and lots of questions for us about Dynamic Duos! They'd like to know about all of the lovely things Sherbet and I want to do tonight, and how we feel about all the other people in Dynamic Duos. They'd like to know how we feel about RubyWay and Triple A, about Hugs & Mercy and The Naughty Little Boys!

Yes, they do, and some of them are getting impatient.

Jimmy Sprinklez: They especially want to know how excited we are to play with .PAAK and ASURA tonight! They're here to ask us whether we think our night will be cut short by them, or whether we'll be meeting new friends all evening long. They want to know if we're ready for them... what we think about what they had to say about us... oh yes, children, the questions they'd like to ask us about that. Just imagine it all!

He shakes his head happily, thinking of all the questions he could be answering right now. Mainly to himself, he says:

Jimmy Sprinklez: Ah, bless my soul. Oh! I'm sure of these good people want know who we'd like to play with most out of the whole tournament! Maybe they want to know if we're going to lighten up the moods of those silly, serious boys of Best For Business... perhaps get a little smile out of them! Oh, children, it's so nice to brighten up somebody's day. If there's one thing you can do every day to make the world a better place, it's to take a little bit of time to make somebody happy. That's what's REALLY best for business!

But Jimmy seems to be totally oblivious to the fact he's not making any of the journalists here happy, since he hasn't let any of them speak yet! One of them actually calls out his name, a bit angrily, but the ice cream man completely ignores it.

Jimmy Sprinklez: Maybe they want to know if we can help Fujiko Mine and Izzy Anders to be better friends with each other! Oh, it's such a shame to see the way they don't get along. They're both really very lovely, very friendly people, and I'm sure they could be great pals if only someone was willing to help them get on the same page. You know, give 'em a little bit more of a reason to stand together. Don't you think so, Sherbet?

Sherbet jumps up and down, shaking the stage a little bit, and nods enthusiastically. Jimmy, though, suddenly hangs his head a bit sadly. Sherbet slowly stops celebrating and shuffles over to him, putting a light and caring arm on his shoulder.

Jimmy Sprinklez: Or then again... maybe they would like to ask us about the fact that when we went to play with Aurora and Tommy last week, we got a little bit... rough.

Sherbet puts her hands over her eyes in shame and mournfully shakes her head.

Jimmy Sprinklez: Let me tell you, children, we feel awful about that. Sometimes we do get just a little bit carried away. I do hope neither Tommy nor Aurora got too badly hurt. That would be just awful. And oh my... I do hope too that we don't get too rough when we play with .PAAK and ASURA! Now they seem like very strong and tough little girls who can take a bit of rough play. And you know, children, it's good to be strong and tough! But you must never be mean and hurt somebody, just because they look strong and tough... or even if they don't! If we hurt .PAAK and ASURA it'll definitely be an accident, and I'll be so sorry if that does happen! Just like we're very sorry if we hurt Tommy and Aurora! Oh, I hope so much that we can still be friends with them.

And then quick as a flash he perks up!

Jimmy Sprinklez: But today we should look to the future, not the past! Carpe diem, children! That means seize the day! You know your old pal Jimmy likes to live each day like he might get hit by a bus tomorrow, and so should you kiddies! Live every day to the fullest!

He leans over the podium and points to a front row journalist.

Jimmy Sprinklez: Look at you! Let me get a good look at you! Don't you look lovely, all full of vinegar and spunk! I bet you've got some totally tremendous questions, just as nice as fresh ice cream with cherry sauce on top, for Jimmy and Sherbet!

She does indeed, and she opens her mouth...

Jimmy Sprinklez: Wonderful! There, you see, children, there are all sorts of interesting people just waiting to ask you things at a press conference! Yes, press conferences can be magical.

Suddenly there's a sound of ice cream chimes again. Jimmy and Sherbet both look up to the side, where it presumably... came from?

Jimmy Sprinklez: Oh no! You know what that means! It's time for us to go! But who knows, maybe we'll be on YOUR street tomorrow! And of course we'll see all of you tonight for Dynamic Duos! Oh, it's going to be such fun that I can hardly wait! Thank you all for your time, and for all your lovely, lovely questions!

With that, Jimmy and Sherbet put their arms round each other and wave hearty goodbyes to their rather nonplussed audience!