Death in the Family And Brian Stryker's Breakdown

[Brian Stryker]

Tuesday, June 27th, 2017

It’s about 9:00pm HST in Maui as the home Brian Dougherty aka Brian Stryker is silent and dark as the front door opens. Brooke walks in first holding her bag and Brian’s suit jacket over her arms as Brian follows shortly after, holding their sleeping son Richie in his arms, Richie’s head on Brian’s shoulder. They turn on the living room light as they start to talk in a low whisper.

BROOKE: I had a great time tonight.

BRIAN: Same here. It’s nice to be able to just have an evening ourselves. And Richie seems to not mind going to the babysitters anymore.

The two share a quick kiss as Brian goes to put Richie to bed and Brooke checks if they have any messages. Brian turns the light on as he grabs the covers to Richie’s star wars bed and pulls them down with one hand. He gently takes Richie and places him in the bed, pulling the cover up over him as he kissed the top of his head.

BRIAN: Night little guy.

Brian walks to the doorway, turning the light off as he does. He heads back into the living room as he starts unbuttoning his shirt sleeves, rolling them up. He undoes his tie as he sees Brooke holding the phone to her ear, her hold over her mouth. Brian raises an eyebrow as he walks over.

BRIAN: Brooke what’s wrong?

Brooke turns to face him, her face pale and saddened. She holds the phone out as her hand is shaking and her voice is fighting back tears.

BROOKE: You need to hear this

Brian confused by this all took the phone. He pressed the replay message button and put the receiver to his ear.

DOCTOR Hello Mr. Dougherty? This is Dr. Harrison Grioux. I’m calling from Northside Hospital in St. Peterburg, Florida. I’m calling because we need to talk to you about your father, Stephen Dougherty.

Brian stopped the message and hit the redial button as fast as humanly possible. He put the phone back to his ear as he listened to the rings. 1 ring….2 rings…..3… It seems like it just kept ringing and ringing.

BRIAN: Come on….pick up.

NURSE: Hello? Northside Hospital.

BRIAN: Hi yeah. My name is Brian Dougherty I just got a call from a Dr. Giroux regarding my father?

NURSE: Ah yes, he is expecting your call hold please.

The music started playing. Some stupid pop song, really at a time like this, you think a hospital would not use something so upbeat. Or maybe that was the point, try and distract the caller from whatever problem was plaguing them. Brian sat down on the couch as Brooke took a seat next to him, placing her hand over his free one, squeezing tight.

DR. GIROUX: Hello this is Dr.Giroux.

BRIAN: Doctor, this is Brian Dougherty.

DR. GIROUX: Ah yes Brian, glad you called so quickly. I’m afraid I contacted you under a dire situation.

BRIAN: What’s wrong with my father? Is he dead?

DR. GIROUX: No he’s not dead. But he is very close unfortunately.

Those words hit Brian harder than any punch ever could. He felt the air leave his lungs and his skin clam up.

BRIAN: What are you talking about? I just talked to him a week ago….

DR. GIROUX: It’s his heart Brian. It’s failing. He was administered three days ago for shortness of breath. He never told you?

BRIAN:: Clearly not if I’m completely confused by all this! He has heart failure?

DR. GIROUX: He’s been trying to manage it with diet, exercise, and a careful medicine regime, but it looks like it just isn’t enough. It’s past the point of no return now and it’s apparent that he will die.

Brian is fighting back tears as he rubs his face. Brooke can tell what’s happen as she squeezes Brian arm in support.

BRIAN: How much longer does he have?

DR. GIROUX: Hard to say. Could be a day. Could be a week. Could be before you even get here. But I can tell you it’s not much longer.

BRIAN: I’ll be there in a few hours. I’m catching the first flight out. Thank you Doctor.

DR. GIROUX: No Problem….and I’m sorry.

Brian hangs up the phone as he places the phone on the coffee table. He doesn’t look at Brooke as he gets up and walks to their room. He flicks the light on as he grabs one of their suitcases from the closet and places it on the bed. He opens it up as he starts digging through his closet and drawers as he starts packing clothes and starts to change into more comfortable clothes for his flight out. Brooke follows Brian, but stands in the doorway, watching her husband pack his clothes with a sense of anger.

BROOKE: Brian….

This causes him to stop as he puts his hands on the wall as he looks into his closet.

BRIAN: It’s not fair. It’s not fair. He was coming out here next month. We were finally gonna work things out. We were finally going to try and be a father and son that we should have been for 30 years. First I lost mom. Then I lose my sister Emily to that drunk driver. Now this. What have I done to deserve this? WHY!?

Brian slams his fist into the wall, leaving a big crack in the dry wall. Brooke flinched at the sudden impact as she can’t hold back her tears, watching the man she loves suffer and hurt in a way that he can’t handle. She runs up to him and throws her arms around him as she puts her hand on the back of his head. Brian hugs her back as he buried his face into her shoulder. She cried with him as they shared a moment, no one shoulder ever have to share.



Wednesday, June 28th, 2017

It’s 7pm here in Florida. High 80s with over 75% humidity. It’s a walking fish tank outside. You could take a shower and not dry off in a week. Brian parks his rental car in the parking lot of Northside Hospital and sprints into the lobby. He runs up to the front desk as he catches his breath.

BRIAN: Stephen….Dougherty…..which…...room?

NURSE: 37B. Third Floor.

She looked alittle concerned at Brian, who didn’t even thank her as he sprinted off towards the elevator. He pressed the button as he waited, and waited, and waited. Slowest elevator ever. He pressed the button some more, each time getting more and more agitated.

BRIAN: COME ON!

He swings his leg and kicks the large steel doors that separate the elevator from the floor as the echo of steel rings down the hallway. All the doctors, nurses, and orderlies who were in the hall looked down at the commotion, but just went about their day. The door finally dinged and opened as he jumped in the moment there was enough space between the sliding doors. He pressed the third floor, again with no patients as he willed the door to hurry up. The doors closed as the ding rang and it moved to it’s destination.

Once they reached the third floor, Brian squeezed out the elevator and ran down the hall looking for room 37B. He eventually found it when suddenly...he stopped. He looked through the window on the door and there he was, his father. Laying in the bed asleep, wires and tubes attached to him, making him look like a sick and twisted science experiment. He could hear the faint beeps of the heart monitor inside. He reached for the door handle, but his arm wouldn’t move. He tried to step closer to the door, his legs were locked in place.

He couldn’t do it. Walking into that room and confronting his father meant that this problem was real and that his father was dying. He was still hoping this was just some sick elaborate prank on him. He just wanted to wake up back home in Maui next to his wife and son and have a normal day. That was when he heard a cough. He look up through the window to see his dad cough himself awake. He took a few moments to collect his breath as he saw Brian through the window.

His father smiled faintly as he raised his hand slowly and motioned for him to enter. That was it. The moment Brian was fearing. This was very real. His arm moved again as he slowly turned the knob and opened the door. He peaked his head in as he made his way into the room. His dad didn’t stop smiling.

STEPHEN: Brian! Didn’t expect to see you so soon.

BRIAN: I got a call from the doc yesterday. Flew out the moment I could.

STEPHEN: Long flight?

BRIAN: about 9 hours, but you know how time zones get.

Brian grabbed a seat and pulled up to the side of his father’s bed. The two shared a moment of silence as Brian tried to find the right words.

BRIAN: How long?

Stephen sighed as he knew what Brian meant.

STEPHEN: About 8 months at this point.

BRIAN: And did anyone know? Brandy? Sarah?

STEPHEN: No...not the whole truth. At first I told them it was just some congestive heart issues. You know how that runs in the family. High cholesterol, all of us. So I worked with the doctor and tried my best to keep it in check. Exercise, dieting. Brandy was a wizard. Found a way to make these egg whites that would knock your socks off.

Stephen then starts coughing again as Brian reaches over to the nightstand and grabs a bottle of water for his dad, who shakes it off.

STEPHEN: It’s okay, I’m fine.

BRIAN: I’m kinda hoping this was just a trick you know.

STEPHEN: You and me both. I was really looking forward to that visit in July. Sarah is…..was really excited for it. You just missed them actually. Sent them home about an hour ago. Figured you and I should have a private moment. They already said their goodbyes.

BRIAN: Don’t talk like that dad. Please don’t.

STEPHEN: Why not? I’m dying Brian. Nothing we can do to change it now. I’ve had a good life. 51 years isn’t a terrible number.

BRIAN: You could’ve had another 30. You should have another 30.

STEPHEN: Shoulda, coulda, woulda. Sometimes that’s how life works. When it’s your time, it’s your time to go. Sadly sometimes that time is too soon like your mother. Maybe this is karma in a way. I wasn’t there for your mother or you during those trying times. Maybe if I was, things would have been different. Maybe you and I would have been closer. Your mom is gonna kick my fucking ass when she sees me in heaven soon.

Those words killed Brian. His father has done nothing but try to at least be in Brian’s life. He didn’t try to force himself into his life, he just wanted to be acknowledged as his father, even if he didn’t love him. And yet Brian just kept throwing it back at him for years of pent up anger. Now here he was, inches from death and Brian felt like the worst person ever.

BRIAN: I’m sorry.

STEPHEN: Sorry for what?

BRIAN: For never giving you a fair chance. For always throwing mom back in your face.

STEPHEN: How many times do I have to tell you Brian? I don’t blame you one bit for any of that. If I was in your shoes, I would have done the exact same thing. Probably even worst. You at least took Emily and Sarah into your life so openly. And let’s be honest. You turned into a fine young man and a much better father than me.

This made Brian stopped and look at his father.

BRIAN: You mean that?

STEPHEN: Of course. Falling off the wagon was a bit of a step back, but you pushed through it and came out clean and sober. And you even took responsibility for your mistakes with Brooke and Richie. You owned up to them and made a beautiful family from it. Not everyone can do that. I couldn’t do that. When your mom was 18 and told me she was pregnant with you, I got scared. I barely had an education. I barely had a job.We were still living with our own parents.

But you...Life just kept throwing stuff at you and you just let it bounce off. You stumbled but you always picked yourself back up and moved on. You made a better life, not for yourself, but for your wife and child. You already surpassed anything I did, or didn’t do in most cases. And that is the greatest thing a father could hope for. That his child doesn’t make the same mistakes that he did.

Stephen reaches out and places his hand on Brian’s. Brian squeezes back, almost as if he thinks that doing this will save his life.

BRIAN: You were supposed to watch Richie grow up with me. You were supposed to be the grandfather who spoils him when I tell you not to. We are supposed to sit out on the porch on holidays smoke cigars and complain about our kids and you tell me how much I still have to learn.

Stephen goes to speak but he is even starting to get choked up.

STEPHEN: Hey, stop this moping. You are a Dougherty. We don’t break down like this. When we see death we accept it, welcome it, and celebrate the life lost. My only regrets in life were not having you around more. Just promise me one thing okay?

BRIAN: Yeah, anything dad.

STEPHEN: Watch after Sarah for me. Brandy will be fine, but I worry about my little girl.

BRIAN: She will always have a home with us if she wants, I promise that.

Stephen smiles as the tears are building in his eyes, but the never break. He mouths thank you to Brian as he adjusts himself in his bed.

STEPHEN: I’m starting to feel a bit sleepy. I’m gonna get some rest. You look like you need some too. Go back to your hotel, get some sleep.

BRIAN: I don’t have a hotel. I came right here. I’ll be fine. You just get some rest dad. I’ll see you when you wake up.

Stephen nods as the two share a firm hand squeeze. He lays his head back and closes his eyes. The faint beep of the heart monitor is the only sound in the room. Brian sighs as he sits himself up and walks out of the room down the hall to a soda machine. He reaches into his wallet and only finds 10s and a few 20s in it. He groans as he bangs his head against the shell of the machine.

DR. GIROUX: If you need change, here.

Brian looked over to see a doctor standing there with 3 dollars in his hand, holding it out for Brian.

BRIAN: Thanks….

He takes the bills and slides them into the machine.

DR. GIROUX: I’m Dr. Giroux. You must be Brian.

BRIAN: Oh hi Dr. Yeah I am.

DR. GIROUX: Did you speak with him?

BRIAN: Yeah….we had a few words.

DR. GIROUX: He told me about your mother and how young she died. I understand this must be a difficult moment for you.

BRIAN: I don’t know. I’m still thinking this isn’t real…

DR. GIROUX: You know, all he talked about was you. Every visit it was about getting himself looking well enough for his flight to visit you, or your visit to him. He really loved you.

BRIAN: Yeah….it took 30 years, but I’m finally starting to see it.

DR. GIROUX: Get some rest. You look like crap.

The Doctor clapped Brian on the shoulder before walking off to tend to his other patients. Brian inhales deeply as he selects his soda and takes the can back to his dad’s room. He sets the can on the night stand as he sits back in his chair and watches his father. He looks up at the clock as it says 9:00pm. He rubs his face as he lays his head back and watches the heart monitor. The beeping is slowing down. Brian knows it isn’t much longer now.

He watches with sadness tearing through his insides as the once steady beeps start to become fewer and far between. Finally it stops. The monitor flat lines as the loud noise brings in the doctor and a few nurses. Brian slide his chair back as he watched the Doctors work. There wasn’t much they could do at this point as Dr. Giroux checked his watch and with a heavy sigh, flipped the off switch on the heart monitor.

DR. GIROUX: Time of death: 21:16.

The doctor walks over and says his condolences to Brian who is just staring at his father, his face numb. That was it. It was over. His father was gone. Nothing was gonna change that. He got up and walked over to his father and place a hand on his forehead.

BRIAN: Good-bye dad. I love you.

He leans down and kisses his dad’s forehead. As he stands back up he looks over and notices his dad’s wallet. Something is sticking out the top. He reaches over and takes it as he sits back down. He grabs the mysterious piece and pulls it out, realizing it’s an old photo. He looks over the picture and what he sees makes his heart stop. It’s an old photo of his dad and his mom. His mom is in a hospital bed herself and his father is holding a baby in his arms. He smiles a bit as he notices how happy his parents look and how healthy his mom was back then.

He flipped over the picture and his heart pounded into his throat. There was a date on the back of it written in pen. “February 7th, 1987.” The baby was him. This was taken the day he was born. His father was there for his birth. He held him. He loved him. The tears dripped down Brian’s face as he buried his it in his hands. He couldn’t control it, he lost his father, the only man he could consider it. He just wish he had more time with him now.


TO BE CONTINUED...

[Brian Stryker]

The door to the room opens as Brian walks into the room where his father sleeps….or did. It’s been barely 24 hours since his father passed away and Brian had to unenviable position of having to go through his father’s things. It’s a job that is never fun nor easy for the most part. It just keeps wounds open and reminds you how much you just miss the person.

Brian volunteered to do this as his stepmom, Brandy, just didn’t want to deal with it. He hasn’t really talked to her since it happened, and that was okay with him. The two were never gonna be eye to eye on anything, but he promised his dad he’d look after her, at least for a bit. Brian flipped the switch on as he just sighed deeply. He walked over to his dad’s closet and opened the door. Various dress shirts and jackets hung there. His dad was a more skinny than Brian so none of these were gonna fit him. He started taking the shirts out and laid them on the foot of the bed, being careful not to wrinkle them too much. He then moved to the suits, placing them on top of the shirts.

BRIAN: Guess I’ll donate these.

He went back to the closet when two things caught his eyes. First there was a tshirt hanging in the closet. It was covered in that protective plastic you put over suits. The other was a box with the name Brian written on it. He decided to check the shirt out first and for the first time since he got the news, Brian smiled. It was a small smile and almost barely noticeable, but it was there none the less

Hanging in his closet, protected from the other clothes was a Dark Horse Protection shirt. The brand new ones him and Hunter debuted just a few weeks ago. He checked the back of the shirt and sure enough there was the DHP logo and beneath it was the name “Dougherty”. His dad bought their shirt and instead of wearing it, he saved it almost like a souvenir. Brian was NOT gonna let this get donated. He went over and placed the hanger on the armoire handle. That was staying in his own closet not. Next was that illusive box.

He grabbed the cardboard box and pulled it out. It was a decent sized box as he walked over to a chair his father kept in the room and sat down. He placed the box on his lap and opened the lid. Inside was full of magazine clips, photos, and letters. He took a photo out and looked at it. It was a photo of him back when he had to be about 18. It was a photo of him that was used for a flyer back in Philadelphia to promote the show. Brian remembered because he had to street team that day and put up 200 of those flyers.

Brian put that photo back and this time pulled a magazine clipping out. It was an interview he did. Asking him about why he became a wrestler and what not. He sees his mother mentioned but nothing about his father. How much did that have to hurt his dad? How much did that hurt him knowing his own son probably didn’t care about him. Brian rubbed his tired face.

He put the clipping back and that was when what he saw next made his heart stopped. There was an envelope with his dad’s name written on it. He recognized the hand writing almost instantly. The way the S swooped. The way the P curved into the H. That was his mom’s hand writing. He took the envelope and opened it up. There was a note inside. He pulled it out and unfolded as he started to read.

THERESA: Dear Stephen, I know it’s been a while since I last wrote but things aren’t well here. I was told by the doctors that the chemo isn’t working as well as it should. The cancer is spreading and I don’t believe I have much time left. I don’t believe I’ll make it through till Christmas this year sadly. The days grow more difficult. It's harder to do even simple tasks like sitting up and even breathing. Brian has been such a good son through it all. Never once has he cried seeing his mother like this. He has your resolve. He works part time down at the grocery store down the street. All the moment he makes from it, he gives to me to help pay for things like bills.

Brian had to stop. This was written a few months before his mom died. At this point she was bed ridden the entire time. Brian wiped his eyes as he forced himself back into reading.

THERESA: I don’t regret anything in my life now that I have time to reflect on it. I feel sadness that you and I couldn’t work things out. That we couldn’t be the family that Brian so deserved. He still doesn’t know the truth sadly. Once again you were right. Telling him that his father just after he was born because he couldn’t be a dad was much easier for him to handle then it would be learning that his mother was the one who left.

A mother who was selfish enough to take a child and raise him without a father because I couldn’t handle the meager means we were living. You so willing became a horrible man in the eyes of my parents and our friends just to save me that embarrassment. I didn’t deserve you as a husband, and I don’t think I ever would.

That is why I ask one more favor from you Stephen. When I have finally succumbed to this wretched disease and leave Brian all alone, please take him into your new family. I know those new little girls Brandy just had would love to have an older brother as they grow. That is my last wish from you. Please give Brian the life I was so unable to provide because of my own selfish reasons. Thank you for the best years of my life my love and I’m sorry for all the heartache I have caused you. With love, Theresa.

Brian let the box fall to the floor as the contents fell out onto the carpet. What did he just read? That can’t be true…can it? He recalled how in the weeks after his mother passed away, he as in the hands of child services. Just a week before his 17th birthday he got a call from his dad, asking if Brian wanted to come live with him. Brian just cursed him out and told him to die…

But according to this, his dad never left. His mom was the one who did and she took Brian with her and his dad took the fall so willingly. Why? What was going through her head? Why did he let himself become so hated by Brian? Everything he thought he knew about not just his dad, but his own mother was no shattering right before him. He was left with ten thousand questions. And now he was left with no way to answer them.

A man Brian thought was selfish, who only wanted to reconnect with Brian after so many years just to ease his conscience, was a man who as willing to do anything to help his son, even if it meant becoming a scapegoat for his son’s frustrations. Brian grabbed his head as he couldn’t control himself anymore. Stephen Dougherty wasn’t a selfish man. It was Brian who was selfish. Brian was alone. Alone with no way to achieve any form of closure. His entire perception of his father was now just one big regret. A regret he will never be able to get rid of.

TO BE CONTINUED

[Brian Stryker]

Saturday, July 1st, 2017

The front door opens to Brian Stryker’s home as he walks in carry a bag of groceries. The normally chirper man has become a husk of himself over the past week, due to in no small part, dealing with the loss of his father, learning the truth about his mother, and having to burden the load of planning the funeral and all arrangements himself. Brooke tries her best to offer, but Brian keeps pushing her away, feeling that this is his problem and his problem to handle alone.

He looks ups from the ground, face unshaven and eyes exhausted from the terrible lack of sleep he’s been getting. He looks over to his living room to see Brooke sitting there, holding Richie, but there’s another voice as well. A voice he recognizes. He walks into the living room and sees Dr. Ganter his therapist from back in Philly sitting on his couch.

BRIAN: What is….?

BROOKE: Brian! Glad your home. Please don’t be mad, but I called Dr. Ganter to fly out here to talk to you. Baby I think you need to talk with him.

Brian just shakes his head.

BRIAN: I don’t need to I’m fine.

BROOKE: Brian please… You aren’t sleeping and when you do get a few minutes, you just toss and turn all night. You don’t eat anymore and you look like you’re about to break at any moment.

BRIAN: I’m fine. I’m just a bit stressed out from dealing with…

Brian goes to walk into the kitchen.

BROOKE: BRIAN STOP!

This caused him to stop instantly as he turns back and looks at his wife. She never raised her voice like that. Not even when she was extremely pissed off. Her eyes were a mixture of anger and sadness as if raising her voice was breaking her inside.

BROOKE: You are not fine. You are far from it. You are a man who is hurting more than he will admit and it’s killing you. You keep lashing out at random times for no reason. I’m scared of what will happen if you don’t get the help you need. You may have lost your father, but please don’t risk Richie losing his. It’s bad enough watching you get broken physically in ladder matches and hardcore matches. But I can’t stand by and just watch you destroy yourself inside.

Don’t think I haven’t seen the unopened bottle in the fridge. You have been so good for four years staying sober. I know the pain must be a lot but don’t ruin it. Don’t risk the chance of destroying yourself more. Because I swear to god and everything, if you do, I will take Richie and you won’t see me or him again.

Brian watched in shocked silence at the threat form Brooke. Her hands were clearly shaking as she glared at him through tear filled eyes.

BROOKE: When we got married, we promised that we would help each other out. You have done everything to help me through every rough patch in my life. You fought to defend me from harm. You helped heal me when I was hurt. You bring a smile to my face when I’m sad. You do more than I ever could ask. So please…let me be the one to help you this time. Let me be the one to heal you. Let me be the one to make you smile when you thought you couldn’t. Let me do the job that alcohol can’t do. Please…

Brian stood in the hallway watching as his wife broke down and cried right in front of him. He looked at the floor as he turned and cracked his neck, a habit he did when he was angry. She was right. She was always right. He may have had to do this alone once with his mother, that didn’t mean he has to do it again. The stress and depression from last time caused his eventually collapse into addiction and after his last scare of relapsing he wasn’t going to let that happen again.

Brian walked over to his wife and with one arm, hugged her and pulled her close as he rested his chin on the top of her head. She hugged him back, not wanting to let him go as Richie hugged his daddy.

BRIAN: Alright, I’ll talk to him. I was so adamant about doing this myself; I didn’t realize the toll it was taking on you. I’m sorry…

Brooke held onto to Brian tightly as she tried her best to stop the tears.

BROOKE: Thank you…

Brian kissed the top of her head as he handed her the bag of groceries. She gave him a soft kiss before she placed them into the kitchen as she took Richie out back to give Brian some privacy with the doctor. Brian walked into the living room to see his therapist sitting in the arm chair, calmly looking at him.

DR. GANTER: It’s been a while Brian.

BRIAN: It has.

DR. GANTER: By my counts, at least 3 years. Not even a phone call.

BRIAN: Well hard to see a therapist when you’re halfway across the country and on an island.

Brian sits down on the couch as he leans his arms on his knees, folding his hands. The doctor sat back in his chair and looked at Brian from over his glasses, studying the man.

DR. GANTER: So you’re wife filled me in on the past week. First off, my sincere condolences to you and your family.

Brian nods his head in acceptance.

DR. GANTER: Now that has also caused some issues with you, specifically a letter from your mother. Tell me about it.

Brian inhales deeply as he rubs his face.

BRIAN: It’s a letter my mom wrote a few weeks before she died. Probably around October or beginning of November. In the letter she basically says goodbye to my dad….and reveled to me how she was the one who left my dad. Not the other way around like I believed for 30 years.

DR. GANTER: And that bothered you?

BRIAN: Well yeah, to go 30 years of your life believing your dad left before you were born? To have 30 years of pent of frustration at a man who wasn’t there to help your mom? To learn that when he asked me to live with him after, it was out of love and not out of a need. To learn that he made himself a devil in my eyes just to help my mom save face. He was taking that secret to the grave and he did in a way.

Brian balled his fists up as his clenched one in his other hand.

DR. GANTER: Are you angry to know the truth? Angry at the lie? Or angry you never learned it from them?

BRIAN: All three. My mom was a saint growing up and even more after she died. She raised a troublesome child all by herself and she never let me go hungry, or cold, or without a Christmas. She did though so I wouldn’t. But to learn that the reason it was like that was because she couldn’t stand to live with my dad….why? Were they worst off than we were growing up? What was my mom thinking that was a good idea?

DR. GANTER: And your father?

BRIAN: My dad….why would he so willing let himself be hated. Why did he let himself become this scapegoat just to keep my mom from being embarrassed? Why didn’t he tell me after her death? Why did he let me hate him for 30 goddamn years?! WHY!?

Brian held his hair as he looked at the floor. Dr. Ganter watched calmly as Brian slightly broke down in front of him. The moment Brooke talked to him, the doctor knew that Brian was bottling his feelings up, causing him to have bursts of anger that were unhealthy. Brian needed to vent and this was the only way to make it happen.

BRIAN: What am I supposed to do now? I’m trapped! I can’t confront them. I can’t confirm that this is even real. I mean there’s a chance this is all just a lie. I need closure and I can’t have it. You have any idea what that is like? To have regret that you can’t clear up because it’s too late? I’m always gonna carry this inside me forever.

DR. GANTER: Have you ever thought the reason your father never told you was because you held your mother in such high regard? You clearly idolized the woman to a degree that telling you the truth, even at that young age and after just losing her, would have surely fell on deaf ears.

BRIAN: But what am I supposed to do?

DR. GANTER: There is nothing you can do at this point. As you said, you can’t confront them. You’re just gonna have to figure it out on your own.

BRIAN: Jeez thanks doc. What a thoughtful thing to say.

Brian sits back and scoffs.

DR. GANTER: You know I don’t mince words. There are three things we know for certain. One, your parents lied to you to hide the truth. Two, they did it to protect you. Three, they both loved your very much and wanted nothing but make you happy. Maybe they didn’t want to tell you because the little happiness you were finding from a less than ideal situation was worth keeping up the act. Maybe it was easier for your father to be hated, than your mother. We can never know. But what we do know what we do and that they raised you to be the best man you could be.

You learned from their mistakes. Both from watch what was around you, and the fact you knew a child should have both parents in his life. You made a choice to do better than them and provide for your wife and child a life they couldn’t provide you. Maybe that was the gift they wanted to leave you and nothing else mattered to them.

Brian sat silent for a moment as he rubbed his face. How many people were gonna be right today? He sat back as Ganter looked at him over his glasses.

DR. GANTER: Well I think I made my point.

He started to stand as Brian stood up with him.

BRIAN: Thank you for coming doc. How much do I owe you.

DR. GANTER: Nothing. Consider this…a pro bono visit from a friend.

Ganter places his hand on Brian’s shoulder.

DR. GANTER:: Get rest. Feel better. You got a good family around you. You aren’t alone. Stop trying to be.

Brian nodded as Ganter picked up his hat as he left Brian alone in his living room. He looks out the window to see Richie running around in the backyard. He walks into the kitchen where the backdoor is and stops at his fridge. He took the bottle of beer out of the fridge and looked at it. He looked up at Brooke and Richie then back at the bottle. He sighed to himself as he unscrewed the bottle cap. He walked over to the fridge and tipped the bottle over, pouring the contents down the sink, tossing the empty bottle into the trash.

He walked outback as Richie saw his dad and instantly ran over. Brian bent down and picked up his son, holding him up as he kissed his cheek, Brooke smiling from the side.

BRIAN: Daddy loves you Richie. Don’t you ever doubt that for a minute. Got it little man?

Brooke walked over as Richie laughed. She kissed Brian herself as she wrapped her arms around his waist.

BROOKE: Feeling better?

BRIAN: Not even alittle.

Brooke looks at Brian a little surprised. He turned to her and gave her a small weak smile.

BRIAN: But I’m at least on the right path.

Brooke smiled regrew as she kissed Brian deeply as the two knew that things were not gonna be easier or ever better, but at least they could get through it together.

TO BE CONTINUED

[Brian Stryker]

Tuesday July, 11th, 2017

Today was the day. The day Brian thought just wouldn’t come/not want to. Today was the day to bury his father. Brian decided to have the funeral in Philadelphia for two reasons. One this was his home. He grew up her just like Brian. Two, he wanted to bury him next to Brian’s mother. After coming to light the truth about their relationship, Brian felt it was only fitting that he and his mom get reunited finally after 30 apart. It was the least he could do at this point for them both.

Brian stood on the steps of Christ’s Church, one of the oldest churches in the city. His mom used to take him here for Christmas services growing up. This was also where his mother’s funeral was held. He leaned against the side wall as he smoked a cigarette. He hated smoking for the most part, but this wasn’t the time. He was stressed and depressed at the moment. It’s always like that when you have to bury a love one, and it felt like Brian has had to do that a lot in his life.

People where coming from all over the place for Stephen Dougherty. Old friends from the neighborhood where he grew up. Coworkers from his construction company in Florida. Family Brian never even met. They were all here to celebrate the life of a man. Brian blew the smoke into the air as he placed his head against the cold brick wall. The past 24 hours have been whirlwind of different feelings and emotions. Happiness, sadness, anger, acceptance. The entire gambit has been run by Brian at least 3 times today alone.

PRIEST: Mr. Dougherty?

Brian looks over as the priest proceeding over the funeral walks up. Brian couldn’t help but smile at this old man. This man has been a priest as long as Brian could remember. He was an old school Irishman who just had light coming off him. He was the perfect image of what you picture a priest to be. His red hair was thin and graying now, but the light was still in that man.

BRIAN: Father Rourke. Nice to see you again.

PRIEST: I’d prayed it would have been under better pretenses sadly.

BRIAN: Well as you use to tell me all the time, He works in mysterious ways.

PRIEST: Surprised you were even listening. You were sleeping in the church when I told you that. If I’m not mistaken a needle sticking out of your arm.

BRIAN: You were a lizard when you said it. When a talk giant lizard says something, you listen.

Brian and the priest share a quick laugh each other.

PRIEST: Well I’m glad it got through and that you found the right path. I don’t even see traces of that boy anymore. You’ve become the man, the lord has always wanted you to be.

BRIAN: Thanks Padre. Things starting?

PRIEST: Yes, everyone is ready.

Brian nods as he takes one more puff before stomping his cigarette out. He walks to the front of the church as he heads inside where everyone was already seated, his father’s closed casket at the foot of the stage. He walked up to the front and took a seat in the first pew next to his wife. She quickly snatches up his hand and squeezes tightly. He gives her a squeeze back. He leaned over and whispered.

BRIAN: I’m fine.

PRIEST: Today, we are all together to celebrate the life of Stephen Jacob Dougherty. A man sadly taken from us far too early. It’s not uncommon to question the Lord in these moments and ask why take a soul like this away from his family and friends so soon. But as I always say, He has a plan. The Lord knows what he is doing and plans everything perfectly. We may not know it instantly, but we are all benefiting from this man’s life. He has touched each one of our souls and our hearts. And for that, he may never truly die, as he lives on inside of us.

Stephen Dougherty wasn’t a perfect man. No mortal man is. But he was a good man. A man who lived by his convictions. Who learned from mistakes and used them to instill the knowledge onto his family to help protect them from making their own mistakes. That is why I wish to bring his eldest child, Brian, up and say a few words.

Brian looks at Brooke who gives him a quick kiss on the cheek. Brian inhales deeply as he stands up and walks up to the podium. Brian and the priest share a quick handshake as he steps up to the mic and clears his throat.

BRIAN: Anyone who knows me well knows I was very vocal about my father growing up. For 30 years I believed this man left my mother right after I was born. I thought he as a coward who ran away only to show back up when it was convenient to him. I blamed the man for everything. Why me and my mom grew up poor. Why I never could settle my anger issues. Blamed him for my mother dying of cancer. To me, he as the worst of the worst.

For the past few years, my father and I tried to build a new bridge together. We may never be the father and son we should have been, but we tried to at least make things work. Sadly, I was stuck in my old stubborn ways and it caused more friction than good. When I got the call about my father being close to death, I rushed down to that hospital in Florida.

What I saw was a man close to death. A man who only had one request. Not that I forgive him or anything, but a man who only wished I looked after his family. That was when I began to realize I was in the wrong all these years. I was angry, more angry than I ever been, but I wasn’t angry at him. I was angry at myself. I acted like a brat towards him. I let resentment prevent me from learning the truth. The truth being….my dad never left me and my mom.

The crowd is hushed as Brian wipes his face, wiping away the tears.

BRIAN: As I was going through his things after, I discovered a letter. A letter written by my mother sent a few weeks before she died 16 years ago. In it, she apologizes to my father for leaving him and taking me with her. She apologized for being a selfish person. My entire life has been me believing a lie. I thought my father left because he couldn’t handle being a dad. It’s why when I became a father, I swore to never do the things he put me through.

But it was never true. He let himself become an object of my anger. He willing sent himself into the firing line. His reason? It’s easier for me to hate him than to hate my mother. Father Rourke was right when he said we may not realize the plan as it’s happening. It wasn’t the God’s plan though. It was my father’s. I can’t help but think of all the times he sent me letters and cards for birthdays or Christmas, that I just threw away without even opening. How that must have hurt him. I spent years stewing in this idea that the man was a selfish prick who only wanted to be my father after all the hard work was over.

Turns out, he came back at the request of my mother. She wanted to him to tell me the truth about her. But he never did. He let me hold onto that image of my mother, the only thing I had left at the time. Was he wise to do this? Who knows? Some will say yes, some will say no. I may never know the truth at this point. He took that to the grave with him. But I do know one thing. He did what he thought was best for his son during a trying time. Maybe I would not have listened if he did tell me all those years ago. I was a stubborn kid. Maybe we would have been the best of friends. That’s all I have, maybes.

I can’t apologize to my father. I can’t confront my mother. I will carry this idea with me for the rest of my life. But I will do one thing. One thing I should have done a long time ago.

Brian turned and faced the casket.

BRIAN: I love you dad. And I will miss you.

Brian takes a step down as he collects himself.

PRIEST: We will now begin the procession towards the cemetery. The Dougherty requested this to be a private moment, so we ask you respect their wishes.

Brian and the rest of the pallbearers took hold of the casket as they lifted it up onto their shoulders. As they walked down the aisle towards the hearse out front, Brian tried his best to keep a stone face. They placed the coffin inside as the door was shut and started to deliver it to Laurel Hill cemetery. Brian was joined by Brooke and his step mother Brandy as they drove together in silence.

When they arrived at the cemetery, they all walked together towards the grave, placed right next to the one of Brian’s mother. The priest said a short prayer as the coffin was lowered into the ground. Brooke and Brandy cried together as Brian just stared at the grave as it was filled up. The two women said they would wait back at the car as Brian asked for a moment alone.

BRIAN: Hey…dad. Hoped you liked my little speech. It was hard to write. It’s…..it’s been a weird 24 hours for me here…..Brooke is pregnant again. Yeah 6 weeks and I just found out really late last night. Funny, I was still alittle late finding out but it’s better than the several months the first time was.

He stops as he sniffs a moment.

BRIAN: I’m gonna miss you dad. It’s just doesn’t feel right, being alone but not alone at the same time. You and mom are gone, and I’m all that’s left of that family. Me and Richie gotta continue and carry on the Dougherty name. You once said step up and step aside. I always did step up, but now it’s time for me to do that as the head of this family. I won’t let you down dad. Just do me one thing. Say hi to mom for me.

Brian reaches out and places his hand on the tombstone as he turns and walks over. The tombstone is engraved with his father’s dates with the message, “Reunited with the woman he loved enough to sacrifice his own happiness.” Brian walks back to the car where Brooke and Brandy patiently waited.

BRIAN: Let’s get going…I need a nap.

Brooke hugs her husband one more time as they all get into the car and drive off. Closing the chapter on one of the most emotionally draining parts of Brian's life.

THE END