Visit from Some Old Friends
Jan 16, 2017 14:30:24 GMT -5
Post by Brian Stryker on Jan 16, 2017 14:30:24 GMT -5
Brian Stryker was sitting in his house in Maui alone. Brooke took Richie with her while she did some errands so it was just Brian, his two dogs Bunsen and Petri, the asshole cat, and the TV. He was enjoying the quiet as he flipped through the channels, looking for something fun to watch. Just then the doorbell rang. With a sigh, Brian pushed himself up from his spot on the couch, which his dogs instantly took over, and made his way to the door.
Brian Stryker: Yeah?
He opened the door and instantly his face went from slight annoyance to confusion back to annoyance. Standing on his front step were two people, Brian never imagined he’d see again. A-Con and B-Soup. These two were old friends of Stryker. A-Con was a Jersey Shore wannabe about 10 years after it was even relevant. Tanned, ripped, overall douche looking. Brian wasn’t even sure he was from New Jersey actually. He thinks A-Con is from Idaho or something.
B-Soup was the complete opposite. He was a short overweight marshmallow of a man who was certain he was a ninja. Despite having no actually abilities to do anything remotely athletic let alone ninja. These two used to work as Brian’s agents for a few years but recently he let them go and they eventually vanished. So imagine Brian’s surprise to see them here.
Brian: Can I help you?
A-Con: BRIAN! You old sisal bee. How the hell are ya!?
The two just walk into Brian’s house uninvited as Brian just gives a “the fuck” look to them. They sit themselves down on the couch and just look at Brian like nothing is out of the ordinary. Sure the two never had a sense of personal space or anything, hell they were only staying at Brian’s old apartment back in Philadelphia because he didn’t feel like kicking them, but this was too much.
Brian: Hey guys, look it’s not that I’m not happy to see you, but…..What the fuck are you doing here?
B-Soup: We were in town and thought we’d stop by to see our old friend.
Brian: You were in town…
A-Con: Yeah!
Brian raised an eyebrow at that. Making the flight to Hawaii was not cheap by any means. And he knew these two all too well. He knew they couldn’t afford the flight here for just a visit. There was an ulterior motive to all this. Brian sighed.
Brian: Alright I’ll bite….what is it you guys want?
A-Con and B-Soup looked at each other. Then suddenly they threw themselves onto their knees.
A-Con: PLEASE HIRE US BACK!
B-Soup: WE CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE! NO ONE ELSE WILL HIRE US!
They both started sobbing as they latched themselves to both of Stryker’s legs. Brian just looked around extremely uncomfortable as his two friends beg at his feet literally.
Brian: Guys….stop it. I hate seeing a fat man cry...
A-Con: Life is so boring! We can’t take it! I had to get a desk job just to pay for the rent! ME A DESK JOB!
B-Soup: And I had to get a job for Arby’s!
Brian: You love Arby’s….
B-Soup: I have to eat their new test sandwiches! So much horribleness goes back there Brian! Unholy things!
The two continue to cry as Brian tries to pry the two men off his legs.
Brian: Guys it’s not that easy….you remember why I had to fire you in the first place right?
A-Con: It wasn’t our fault!
Brian: You got me a deal selling Sushi Cereal in Japan. 3 people got food poisoning from it!
B-Soup: It seemed like a good idea at the time! Please just take us back!
Brian sighed heavily as he couldn’t take this anymore. With a rub of the bridge of his nose, he looked at his two friends.
Brian: Get off the floor and stop blubbering. You cry more than my 1 year old.
The two men stop their crying as they sit back on the couch.
Brian: Look, I don’t think I can hire you as my agents, cause I got a new one that actually does a great job.
The two men look downtrodden.
Brian: But…
A-Con and B-Soup look up hopeful.
Brian: I might be able to find something for you guys working under him.
The two men grabbed Stryker’s leg once again.
A-Con: Oh thank you Brian! Thankyouthankyouthankyou!
B-Soup: You won’t regret this!
Brian: Okay okay…let go.
They let go of Brian and got back to their feet.
Brian: I’m gonna make some calls. Just….head back to your hotel and someone will be in touch.
A-Con: Yes sir!
They marched out of Brian’s house with a new sense of confidence. When they slammed the door behind them, Brian just sat back down and looked at his German Shepard, Petri.
Brian: You think I’m gonna regret this?
Petri answers by laying his head on Brian’s lap as he reached down and scratched his dog’s head.
Brian: Yeah I totally am.
Brian Stryker: Yeah?
He opened the door and instantly his face went from slight annoyance to confusion back to annoyance. Standing on his front step were two people, Brian never imagined he’d see again. A-Con and B-Soup. These two were old friends of Stryker. A-Con was a Jersey Shore wannabe about 10 years after it was even relevant. Tanned, ripped, overall douche looking. Brian wasn’t even sure he was from New Jersey actually. He thinks A-Con is from Idaho or something.
B-Soup was the complete opposite. He was a short overweight marshmallow of a man who was certain he was a ninja. Despite having no actually abilities to do anything remotely athletic let alone ninja. These two used to work as Brian’s agents for a few years but recently he let them go and they eventually vanished. So imagine Brian’s surprise to see them here.
Brian: Can I help you?
A-Con: BRIAN! You old sisal bee. How the hell are ya!?
The two just walk into Brian’s house uninvited as Brian just gives a “the fuck” look to them. They sit themselves down on the couch and just look at Brian like nothing is out of the ordinary. Sure the two never had a sense of personal space or anything, hell they were only staying at Brian’s old apartment back in Philadelphia because he didn’t feel like kicking them, but this was too much.
Brian: Hey guys, look it’s not that I’m not happy to see you, but…..What the fuck are you doing here?
B-Soup: We were in town and thought we’d stop by to see our old friend.
Brian: You were in town…
A-Con: Yeah!
Brian raised an eyebrow at that. Making the flight to Hawaii was not cheap by any means. And he knew these two all too well. He knew they couldn’t afford the flight here for just a visit. There was an ulterior motive to all this. Brian sighed.
Brian: Alright I’ll bite….what is it you guys want?
A-Con and B-Soup looked at each other. Then suddenly they threw themselves onto their knees.
A-Con: PLEASE HIRE US BACK!
B-Soup: WE CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE! NO ONE ELSE WILL HIRE US!
They both started sobbing as they latched themselves to both of Stryker’s legs. Brian just looked around extremely uncomfortable as his two friends beg at his feet literally.
Brian: Guys….stop it. I hate seeing a fat man cry...
A-Con: Life is so boring! We can’t take it! I had to get a desk job just to pay for the rent! ME A DESK JOB!
B-Soup: And I had to get a job for Arby’s!
Brian: You love Arby’s….
B-Soup: I have to eat their new test sandwiches! So much horribleness goes back there Brian! Unholy things!
The two continue to cry as Brian tries to pry the two men off his legs.
Brian: Guys it’s not that easy….you remember why I had to fire you in the first place right?
A-Con: It wasn’t our fault!
Brian: You got me a deal selling Sushi Cereal in Japan. 3 people got food poisoning from it!
B-Soup: It seemed like a good idea at the time! Please just take us back!
Brian sighed heavily as he couldn’t take this anymore. With a rub of the bridge of his nose, he looked at his two friends.
Brian: Get off the floor and stop blubbering. You cry more than my 1 year old.
The two men stop their crying as they sit back on the couch.
Brian: Look, I don’t think I can hire you as my agents, cause I got a new one that actually does a great job.
The two men look downtrodden.
Brian: But…
A-Con and B-Soup look up hopeful.
Brian: I might be able to find something for you guys working under him.
The two men grabbed Stryker’s leg once again.
A-Con: Oh thank you Brian! Thankyouthankyouthankyou!
B-Soup: You won’t regret this!
Brian: Okay okay…let go.
They let go of Brian and got back to their feet.
Brian: I’m gonna make some calls. Just….head back to your hotel and someone will be in touch.
A-Con: Yes sir!
They marched out of Brian’s house with a new sense of confidence. When they slammed the door behind them, Brian just sat back down and looked at his German Shepard, Petri.
Brian: You think I’m gonna regret this?
Petri answers by laying his head on Brian’s lap as he reached down and scratched his dog’s head.
Brian: Yeah I totally am.