State of Verdemous Address Pt. 1 of 2
Dec 5, 2016 11:36:37 GMT -5
Post by pimp on Dec 5, 2016 11:36:37 GMT -5
Dooder smacked into the greenest section of Uranus where his body disintegrated to nothing but atomic molecules. He resurfaced inside of what looked to be a shuttle station of sorts. A loud voice echoed around him as a pair of moving lips appear from up above.
“Dooder. As General of the Gang Green Army you have proven to be worthy of such a title. It is my pleasure to announce that you have been upgraded to Chancellor of Verdemous, 5th Earl of Uranus.”
Suddenly a crowd surrounded Dooder, cheering and shooting green streamers all about. He quickly adjusted, marveling in the glory. “Why thank you master.”
“But.” The noise stopped immediately. “Your work is just beginning. You have a battle on the horizon back on the planet Earth. A battle that will determined the inaugural holder of the Paramount source. It IS paramount that you not only capture this source, but you share it’s glory with your bretheren whom look up to you the most. You’re the highest achieving soldier out of this world since your…former master…upgraded just one level shy of the maximum possible for immortality. Manuever as best as you can, Dooder. This battle is the culmination of everything you’ve worked for up to this point. Do you have anything to say to your people?”
Dooder found himself on a large podium looking down at the public. “I’m still goin’ strong as Mr. 3GW ever since I first landed back to my homeland. Sniffed out the aliens infiltrating the land and I extinguished ‘em on sight. I snuck up to the top like a thief in the night rooftop of the museum and Imma commit the great heist! Imma bet no one takin’ me serious goin’ into the Red Carpet Rumble. That’s the mistake right there. I ain’t never ask nobody to look at me as a threat. I already know Imma threat. I don’t need nobody in 3GW or even ya’ll to bow down to me. I ain’t never needed nothin’ from nobody…no disrespect master, but that’s a factoid. Count me out if y'all want to, but once I grab that Paramount after running through the entire extraterrestrial population of…LOOOOOSSSSSSAAAAAAHHHHHHHSSSSSSSSS It’s gon’ be me who determine who worthy enough to step up to the young son of the Sun. No one gonna stop the DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!”
A chant of “DOWN WITH LOOSERS WE WANT DOODER” breaks out causing the General, now Chancellor to crack a smile. After a few moments he holds up a pinky to die the noise down.
“I got nineteen muthafuckin’ aliens thats gon’ be in there wit me. It ain’t gonna be easy to do this especially since I can’t have none of ya’ll by my side. But these martians they got out there so fuckin’ dumb, they gon’ be comin’ at each others heads and ignoring the real threat. See in our world, we ain’t gotta deal wit petty bullshit like spraying bitches wit skunks, shoving partners off the edges of the battle zone, owner dude on camera more than talent. Elementary shit. That jungle called Hollywood is alien eat alien, my work not gonna be as hard as some of you may think. Everyone just wanna be seen in 3GW. Everyone just usin’ Greenland to get themselves in the spotlight and it don’t matter what they gotta do. They gonna get to shuckin’ and jivin’. This Jordan Cain dude gonna keep actin’ like he some hotshot when he just like everyone else in HollyHood. Got hella money but too much time on his hands cuz his talent, like these aliens on the roster, superficial. When I look at the line up of fools eager to run in just to get tossed right the fuck back out, it’s shameful.”
Just before Dooder3G could finish his thought, someone from the crowd yelled “ALIENS!” causing collective gasps. Blue and red battleships flew over the population causing a dark cloud that was soon lit up by flaming meteoric missiles.
“CODE GREEN STRAP UP SOLDIERS! WE UNDER ATTACK!” Dooder ducked under the podium, opening a secret door and pulling out a bop gun. “Super Blaster 9000, it’s time they see what you can do.”
Humanoid aliens started falling out of the battleships and brawling with the Gang Green soldiers. Dooder popped up and shot the gun into the crowd.
At the gym (and in reality), a bunch of trainees surrounded Dooder3G in the ring soaked. Head trainers, Nick Dannon and Martino Artuso, were standing ringside scratching their heads.
“You brought…a water gun…to the ring?” Nicky said almost offended as Martino starting laughing into his shoulder.
Martino looks at the angry trainees and holds his hand up. “Everyone break for lunch…and dry off. And Dooder…no more mushroom pizza.”
TBC
“Dooder. As General of the Gang Green Army you have proven to be worthy of such a title. It is my pleasure to announce that you have been upgraded to Chancellor of Verdemous, 5th Earl of Uranus.”
Suddenly a crowd surrounded Dooder, cheering and shooting green streamers all about. He quickly adjusted, marveling in the glory. “Why thank you master.”
“But.” The noise stopped immediately. “Your work is just beginning. You have a battle on the horizon back on the planet Earth. A battle that will determined the inaugural holder of the Paramount source. It IS paramount that you not only capture this source, but you share it’s glory with your bretheren whom look up to you the most. You’re the highest achieving soldier out of this world since your…former master…upgraded just one level shy of the maximum possible for immortality. Manuever as best as you can, Dooder. This battle is the culmination of everything you’ve worked for up to this point. Do you have anything to say to your people?”
Dooder found himself on a large podium looking down at the public. “I’m still goin’ strong as Mr. 3GW ever since I first landed back to my homeland. Sniffed out the aliens infiltrating the land and I extinguished ‘em on sight. I snuck up to the top like a thief in the night rooftop of the museum and Imma commit the great heist! Imma bet no one takin’ me serious goin’ into the Red Carpet Rumble. That’s the mistake right there. I ain’t never ask nobody to look at me as a threat. I already know Imma threat. I don’t need nobody in 3GW or even ya’ll to bow down to me. I ain’t never needed nothin’ from nobody…no disrespect master, but that’s a factoid. Count me out if y'all want to, but once I grab that Paramount after running through the entire extraterrestrial population of…LOOOOOSSSSSSAAAAAAHHHHHHHSSSSSSSSS It’s gon’ be me who determine who worthy enough to step up to the young son of the Sun. No one gonna stop the DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!”
A chant of “DOWN WITH LOOSERS WE WANT DOODER” breaks out causing the General, now Chancellor to crack a smile. After a few moments he holds up a pinky to die the noise down.
“I got nineteen muthafuckin’ aliens thats gon’ be in there wit me. It ain’t gonna be easy to do this especially since I can’t have none of ya’ll by my side. But these martians they got out there so fuckin’ dumb, they gon’ be comin’ at each others heads and ignoring the real threat. See in our world, we ain’t gotta deal wit petty bullshit like spraying bitches wit skunks, shoving partners off the edges of the battle zone, owner dude on camera more than talent. Elementary shit. That jungle called Hollywood is alien eat alien, my work not gonna be as hard as some of you may think. Everyone just wanna be seen in 3GW. Everyone just usin’ Greenland to get themselves in the spotlight and it don’t matter what they gotta do. They gonna get to shuckin’ and jivin’. This Jordan Cain dude gonna keep actin’ like he some hotshot when he just like everyone else in HollyHood. Got hella money but too much time on his hands cuz his talent, like these aliens on the roster, superficial. When I look at the line up of fools eager to run in just to get tossed right the fuck back out, it’s shameful.”
Just before Dooder3G could finish his thought, someone from the crowd yelled “ALIENS!” causing collective gasps. Blue and red battleships flew over the population causing a dark cloud that was soon lit up by flaming meteoric missiles.
“CODE GREEN STRAP UP SOLDIERS! WE UNDER ATTACK!” Dooder ducked under the podium, opening a secret door and pulling out a bop gun. “Super Blaster 9000, it’s time they see what you can do.”
Humanoid aliens started falling out of the battleships and brawling with the Gang Green soldiers. Dooder popped up and shot the gun into the crowd.
At the gym (and in reality), a bunch of trainees surrounded Dooder3G in the ring soaked. Head trainers, Nick Dannon and Martino Artuso, were standing ringside scratching their heads.
“You brought…a water gun…to the ring?” Nicky said almost offended as Martino starting laughing into his shoulder.
Martino looks at the angry trainees and holds his hand up. “Everyone break for lunch…and dry off. And Dooder…no more mushroom pizza.”
TBC