Say goodnight, not goodbye
Aug 6, 2016 9:56:52 GMT -5
Post by Savannah Taylor on Aug 6, 2016 9:56:52 GMT -5
Saturday, July 23rd, 2016
Tucson Convention Center
Tucson, Arizona
OFF CAMERA
As the cameras cut from the parking garage into the arena, a bewildered Savannah Taylor is still standing in the middle of the parking lot, still clutching the burlap bag somewhat tightly in her hand. She seemed almost frozen in place, as if the sack was weighing her down like a one thousand pound dumbbell. There was something hauntingly familiar about it, as if it were an object from her past. An object from a time in her life that she has been trying to shed and move past for over a year now.
Savannah Taylor: Why? Why now?
Her words echoed in an empty lot as she pondered out loud. The question of why was one that she wanted an immediate answer to, but wouldn’t get one. Perhaps for a while, or perhaps not at all. She rolls her neck from side to side, a slight cracking noise releasing some unknown tension from within. As odd as this was for Savannah to admit, the distraction moments ago was somewhat welcome. Getting a phone call earlier from her sister was enough for Savannah, who wasn’t booked that night, to book an immediate flight back home to Las Vegas. Her mother, who was currently battling an advanced form of Stage Three breast cancer, hadn’t been doing well for the past couple of months. Her sister called her to tell her that their mother was taken to the hospital. Her sister wasn’t clear on the specifics, but just listening to the tone of her voice was cause for concern on Savannah’s part. She had been concerned about her mother’s almost rapid health deterioration, but had pushed it aside for the sake of her career. Now, she wasn’t sure what to think. Shaking her head, she starts to walk off in the direction of her rental car, still clutching the scratchy burlap sack in her hand. As she approaches her car, there is a chirping sound coming from her pocket. Stopping, she reaches into her pocket and pulls out her iPhone. Pushing the green icon, she puts it up to her ear and starts to talk to the person on the other end of the line.
Savannah Taylor: Hey Dad….yeah, Harper called me and told me about Mom…..I’ve already booked a last minute flight home….Don’t say I didn’t have to. This trumps anything related to my wrestling career. Besides, I’ve already informed the appropriate parties and they are fine with me…...wait, what? …….How…..how bad is it?.......Oh God…..You and Harper are there, yes?....I’m headed to the airport now and it’s a quick flight, so I’ll be home in a couple of hours…..No, I’m coming straight there…...alright, I’ll see you then. Love you too, Dad.
She presses the off button and slides her phone back into her pocket. She takes a second and draws in a sharp breath. Things had just gone from mildly bad to worse in the span of two separate phone conversations. Right now, wrestling was the farthest thing on her mind. Her mind was rightfully back home in Las Vegas. A single thought was rattling around in her head, one that found its way out of her mouth and echoed in the parking lot,
Savannah Taylor: Why is this happening to me?
She said to herself as she unlocks her car and climbs in, tossing the sack on the passenger's seat. Deep down inside, there was a tiny shred of her that felt guilty for missing the rest of Vertigo, especially when there were at LEAST two matches she wanted to see more than anything. But this situation she was told about with her mother, that took priority over everything. She would be hard pressed to find anyone with a conscious to tell her otherwise. She only hoped that when she got to the hospital that it wasn’t too late.
Sunday, July 24th, 2016
University Medical Center
Las Vegas, Nevada
OFF CAMERA
It had been six hours since Savannah Taylor had stepped off a plane at the famed McCarran International Airport. A little longer than that since she had received a phone call from her sister informing her that their mother was in the hospital. About the same amount of time had passed since her father called her while she was in the parking lot, informing her that her mother had slipped into a coma. Hearing that phrase shook her to her core, and it motivated her to get home as quickly as possible. She is pretty sure she broke a few speeding laws on her way to the airport in Tucson, but hopefully the local authorities didn’t notice. Once landing in Las Vegas, Savannah got in her car, which was parked at the airport, and had driven straight to the airport. She was so caught up in getting to the hospital and being with her family that she didn't even stop at her townhouse to drop off her luggage.Six hours removed from that found her inside of her mother’s room situated on the floor that housed the oncology department. Two chairs sat on either side of the bed that a frail looking Carla Taylor was currently lying on. In the chair closest to the door sat Savannah, who looked extremely tired. In the other chair sat her eighteen year old sister Harper, who was entirely too worried for someone about to head off to college in about 4 weeks. But her worry was more than justified. She had her mother in her life longer than Savannah did, so her worry and concern was well founded. Savannah was having just as hard of a time dealing with what was going on. It wasn’t too long ago that she got a long awaited wish granted, to have her family back together. She wasn’t prepared for her mother’s bombshell announcement. She had spent just about every moment since then reconnecting with her mother and father and getting to know the sister she never knew she had. Her sister shifts in her seat and clears her throat.
Harper Taylor: I didn’t think you’d get here as quickly as you did.
Savannah Taylor: I was already on the phone booking a flight right after you called me.
Harper Taylor: I’m glad you made it, though.
Savannah Taylor: I’m glad you called me.
Harper Taylor: I just wish it were under different circumstances.
Savannah Taylor: You and me both, sis.
She says with a sigh as she leans back in her chair. Because she was a private person, she had only let a small handful of people know what was going on. The public didn’t need to know anything, not that they would want to in the first place. Those she felt comfortable with were in the know, so to speak. The sound of approaching footsteps caused Savannah to turn around, only to be greeted by the sight of her father walking into the room, carrying three bottles of water. Keeping one for himself, he hands the other two to his daughters.
Savannah Taylor: Thanks, Dad.
Martin Taylor: No problem.
She takes the green cap off of the Poland Spring bottle and takes a sip, the cool liquid hitting the back of her throat in a most welcome manner.
Savannah Taylor: Hey Dad, mind if I ask you something?
Martin Taylor: Of course you can.
Savannah Taylor: How bad has Mom been? I mean, how long have things been as bad as they are?
Martin Taylor: Things started to go downhill around Easter. She wasn’t responding to the chemotherapy as well as everybody had thought. She was losing more weight, her appetite was all but gone, and she was growing more lethargic as the days went on. That is when we found out that the cancer had spread past the lymph nodes.
Savannah Taylor: I…..I had no idea it was that bad.
Harper Taylor: None of us did.
Martin Taylor: Your sister is right. Her primary oncologist was going to recommend a more aggressive form of chemo, but your mother didn’t want to go through with that.
Savannah Taylor: I could see what it did to her. She wasn’t the same person as I remember from almost a year ago after she was done.
Martin Taylor: That is the sad thing. Which is why, after some serious discussions with not only all of us but her doctors, she came to the conclusion to stop treatments.
Savannah said nothing as her father talked. Having been part of the discussions he mentioned, she wasn’t too keen on the idea of her mother stopping these somewhat life preserving treatments. But at the same time, she saw what they were doing to her. She saw what her mother was like in the days and weeks after treatment, especially in the past few weeks. Ultimately it was her mother’s call and Savannah supported her choice
Savannah Taylor: So how did she get to this point?
Savannah gestures to her mother’s body on the bed, which was hooked up to a heart monitor and various other equipments. The monitor made a steady beeping sound as Martin began to speak once more.
Martin Taylor: At one of her last checkups, her white blood cell count was found to have dropped to a low level, which made her vulnerable to any outside illnesses. Somehow, and we aren’t sure how, she caught a cold. The coughing was bad enough, but when she spiked a fever, that's when I brought her in here.
Savannah Taylor: Was that before Harper called me?
Martin Taylor: It was the day before, actually. The doctors wanted to make sure there was nothing serious before any calls were made.
Harper Taylor: I wanted to call you earlier, but we had to wait for the oncologist to get here to run some tests. Something about making sure that whatever got her sick was on it’s way out.
Savannah Taylor: I don’t care about the details. I’m just glad you both called me.
She takes another long sip from her water and sets it down on a nearby table. Looking down at her mother and then back at her father and sister, she tucks a strand of hair behind her hear.
Savannah Taylor: Do you think I could have a minute here?
Martin Taylor: Of course you can.
He motions for Harper to follow him as the two move to a quieter corner of the room, allowing Savannah to have a moment with her mother. Savannah turns her chair slightly so she has a better angle,and she takes her mother's hand in hers as she speaks.
Savannah Taylor: Hey Mom. I don’t know if you can hear me or not, but there is something I’ve been wanting to say for a while now. I just wish this were under better circumstances. I’ve been thinking a lot about the circumstances that led us to this point, to this same hospital almost a year ago. I didn’t know what to expect. I hadn’t seen you or Dad in over a year and the last time we all saw each other was under less than ideal circumstances. I had so many questions that I wanted answers to, so many things I wanted to say that I never thought I would be able to. Even though we got past a lot of what happened in the past and even though I have my family back for however long, there is something I never told you.
She draws in a breath as she tries to steady her voice and keep her emotions in check for a moment.
Savannah Taylor: I forgive you, Mom. I forgive you for not fighting for me when you were released. I forgive both you and Dad for some of the choices you both made. I realize now, as pathetic as this may be on my part, that you were doing what best for me. I get that now. There is so much I want you to experience with me, so much that we haven’t been able to do. That is why I want you to fight through this. Please Mom, I want you to wake up and……
Savannah is cut off by by the sudden shrill noise of the heart monitor starting to go flat. Savannah leaps from her chair and looks over at her sister and father, the latter of whom had rushed out the door to yell for the doctor. Within seconds, a trio of doctors, all in their crisp white labcoats, whisked in and immediately converged on Carla’s bed. One of the doctors looked at the family members and quietly started to usher them towards the door.
Doctor: I’m going to have to ask you to wait outside.
Savannah Taylor: What's going on?
Doctor: We are going to do everything we can to make sure she is okay. We just need you three to wait outside.
He says as Savannah, her father and her sister shuffle out the door and into the hallway. The door shuts behind them as Martin and Harper take seats in the pair of chairs across from the door, leaving Savannah to stand against the wall. All three were silent as they stared at the door, wondering what was going on. Savannah kept hoping that somehow, someway, the doctors were able to do something for her mother. But the somewhat realistic and borderline cynical side of her knew that thy end was drawing near. She wasn’t ready to let go yet. She wanted her mother around for a long time, for her to share in any future life milestones she may have. The minutes seemed to drag on as the trio sat in silence, neither one quite knowing what to say. After about seven long and agonizing minutes, the door creaks open and the doctor steps out. His poker face was reminiscent of the most seasoned blackjack player at The Palms. Martin is the first to rise from his chair as the doctor comes over.
Martin Taylor: How is she? Can we go see her?
Doctor: We tried everything we could to revive her. We tried everything in our power to stabilize her. Unfortunately, we lost her. I’m so sorry.
He says as he backs off into the room. It was at this precise moment that time stopped. Savannah could see her father begin to break down as soon as the doctor delivered those painful words. She could see her sister sobbing as she wrapped her arms around their father. But she couldn’t hear them. All she could recall was her sliding down the wall and crashing to the floor. She felt her shoulder shake as the tears flowed from her eyes. She didn’t give a damn that her makeup, something she hadn’t bothered to remove, was going to be ruined. She didn’t care who saw her ugly crying in the middle of a hospital floor. What just happened was something that would change her from here on out. She vaguely felt her father and sister sit down on either side of her, each wrapping an arm around her. One day removed from exactly one year since she reconnected with her mother, she was gone. There would be no more conversations with her mother about any and everything under the sun. There would be no more tales about how the family would gather around the television to watch Savannah wrestle wherever she was. There would be no chance for her mother to see her wrestle in person in two weeks at the Orleans Arena. Savannah’s heart went out to her sister, who wouldn’t have her mother there to see her off to the University of Maine in a few weeks. All future plans were thrown out the window now. Now there were phone calls to other family members to be made and arrangements to be made. As the family sat there sobbing and trying to comfort each other, Savannah thinks back to the words she said only a few hours ago about why this was happening to her. Life had a habit of kicking her down a few times, but she always managed to come out on top. This situation, however, had kicked her so down and so hard that she wasn’t sure how, or even IF she would make it out. It would take a village and some time, that is for sure. Everything would have to take a backseat, including wrestling. That was something she wasn’t ready to face, nor was she sure she ever would again.
Tucson Convention Center
Tucson, Arizona
OFF CAMERA
As the cameras cut from the parking garage into the arena, a bewildered Savannah Taylor is still standing in the middle of the parking lot, still clutching the burlap bag somewhat tightly in her hand. She seemed almost frozen in place, as if the sack was weighing her down like a one thousand pound dumbbell. There was something hauntingly familiar about it, as if it were an object from her past. An object from a time in her life that she has been trying to shed and move past for over a year now.
Savannah Taylor: Why? Why now?
Her words echoed in an empty lot as she pondered out loud. The question of why was one that she wanted an immediate answer to, but wouldn’t get one. Perhaps for a while, or perhaps not at all. She rolls her neck from side to side, a slight cracking noise releasing some unknown tension from within. As odd as this was for Savannah to admit, the distraction moments ago was somewhat welcome. Getting a phone call earlier from her sister was enough for Savannah, who wasn’t booked that night, to book an immediate flight back home to Las Vegas. Her mother, who was currently battling an advanced form of Stage Three breast cancer, hadn’t been doing well for the past couple of months. Her sister called her to tell her that their mother was taken to the hospital. Her sister wasn’t clear on the specifics, but just listening to the tone of her voice was cause for concern on Savannah’s part. She had been concerned about her mother’s almost rapid health deterioration, but had pushed it aside for the sake of her career. Now, she wasn’t sure what to think. Shaking her head, she starts to walk off in the direction of her rental car, still clutching the scratchy burlap sack in her hand. As she approaches her car, there is a chirping sound coming from her pocket. Stopping, she reaches into her pocket and pulls out her iPhone. Pushing the green icon, she puts it up to her ear and starts to talk to the person on the other end of the line.
Savannah Taylor: Hey Dad….yeah, Harper called me and told me about Mom…..I’ve already booked a last minute flight home….Don’t say I didn’t have to. This trumps anything related to my wrestling career. Besides, I’ve already informed the appropriate parties and they are fine with me…...wait, what? …….How…..how bad is it?.......Oh God…..You and Harper are there, yes?....I’m headed to the airport now and it’s a quick flight, so I’ll be home in a couple of hours…..No, I’m coming straight there…...alright, I’ll see you then. Love you too, Dad.
She presses the off button and slides her phone back into her pocket. She takes a second and draws in a sharp breath. Things had just gone from mildly bad to worse in the span of two separate phone conversations. Right now, wrestling was the farthest thing on her mind. Her mind was rightfully back home in Las Vegas. A single thought was rattling around in her head, one that found its way out of her mouth and echoed in the parking lot,
Savannah Taylor: Why is this happening to me?
She said to herself as she unlocks her car and climbs in, tossing the sack on the passenger's seat. Deep down inside, there was a tiny shred of her that felt guilty for missing the rest of Vertigo, especially when there were at LEAST two matches she wanted to see more than anything. But this situation she was told about with her mother, that took priority over everything. She would be hard pressed to find anyone with a conscious to tell her otherwise. She only hoped that when she got to the hospital that it wasn’t too late.
Sunday, July 24th, 2016
University Medical Center
Las Vegas, Nevada
OFF CAMERA
It had been six hours since Savannah Taylor had stepped off a plane at the famed McCarran International Airport. A little longer than that since she had received a phone call from her sister informing her that their mother was in the hospital. About the same amount of time had passed since her father called her while she was in the parking lot, informing her that her mother had slipped into a coma. Hearing that phrase shook her to her core, and it motivated her to get home as quickly as possible. She is pretty sure she broke a few speeding laws on her way to the airport in Tucson, but hopefully the local authorities didn’t notice. Once landing in Las Vegas, Savannah got in her car, which was parked at the airport, and had driven straight to the airport. She was so caught up in getting to the hospital and being with her family that she didn't even stop at her townhouse to drop off her luggage.Six hours removed from that found her inside of her mother’s room situated on the floor that housed the oncology department. Two chairs sat on either side of the bed that a frail looking Carla Taylor was currently lying on. In the chair closest to the door sat Savannah, who looked extremely tired. In the other chair sat her eighteen year old sister Harper, who was entirely too worried for someone about to head off to college in about 4 weeks. But her worry was more than justified. She had her mother in her life longer than Savannah did, so her worry and concern was well founded. Savannah was having just as hard of a time dealing with what was going on. It wasn’t too long ago that she got a long awaited wish granted, to have her family back together. She wasn’t prepared for her mother’s bombshell announcement. She had spent just about every moment since then reconnecting with her mother and father and getting to know the sister she never knew she had. Her sister shifts in her seat and clears her throat.
Harper Taylor: I didn’t think you’d get here as quickly as you did.
Savannah Taylor: I was already on the phone booking a flight right after you called me.
Harper Taylor: I’m glad you made it, though.
Savannah Taylor: I’m glad you called me.
Harper Taylor: I just wish it were under different circumstances.
Savannah Taylor: You and me both, sis.
She says with a sigh as she leans back in her chair. Because she was a private person, she had only let a small handful of people know what was going on. The public didn’t need to know anything, not that they would want to in the first place. Those she felt comfortable with were in the know, so to speak. The sound of approaching footsteps caused Savannah to turn around, only to be greeted by the sight of her father walking into the room, carrying three bottles of water. Keeping one for himself, he hands the other two to his daughters.
Savannah Taylor: Thanks, Dad.
Martin Taylor: No problem.
She takes the green cap off of the Poland Spring bottle and takes a sip, the cool liquid hitting the back of her throat in a most welcome manner.
Savannah Taylor: Hey Dad, mind if I ask you something?
Martin Taylor: Of course you can.
Savannah Taylor: How bad has Mom been? I mean, how long have things been as bad as they are?
Martin Taylor: Things started to go downhill around Easter. She wasn’t responding to the chemotherapy as well as everybody had thought. She was losing more weight, her appetite was all but gone, and she was growing more lethargic as the days went on. That is when we found out that the cancer had spread past the lymph nodes.
Savannah Taylor: I…..I had no idea it was that bad.
Harper Taylor: None of us did.
Martin Taylor: Your sister is right. Her primary oncologist was going to recommend a more aggressive form of chemo, but your mother didn’t want to go through with that.
Savannah Taylor: I could see what it did to her. She wasn’t the same person as I remember from almost a year ago after she was done.
Martin Taylor: That is the sad thing. Which is why, after some serious discussions with not only all of us but her doctors, she came to the conclusion to stop treatments.
Savannah said nothing as her father talked. Having been part of the discussions he mentioned, she wasn’t too keen on the idea of her mother stopping these somewhat life preserving treatments. But at the same time, she saw what they were doing to her. She saw what her mother was like in the days and weeks after treatment, especially in the past few weeks. Ultimately it was her mother’s call and Savannah supported her choice
Savannah Taylor: So how did she get to this point?
Savannah gestures to her mother’s body on the bed, which was hooked up to a heart monitor and various other equipments. The monitor made a steady beeping sound as Martin began to speak once more.
Martin Taylor: At one of her last checkups, her white blood cell count was found to have dropped to a low level, which made her vulnerable to any outside illnesses. Somehow, and we aren’t sure how, she caught a cold. The coughing was bad enough, but when she spiked a fever, that's when I brought her in here.
Savannah Taylor: Was that before Harper called me?
Martin Taylor: It was the day before, actually. The doctors wanted to make sure there was nothing serious before any calls were made.
Harper Taylor: I wanted to call you earlier, but we had to wait for the oncologist to get here to run some tests. Something about making sure that whatever got her sick was on it’s way out.
Savannah Taylor: I don’t care about the details. I’m just glad you both called me.
She takes another long sip from her water and sets it down on a nearby table. Looking down at her mother and then back at her father and sister, she tucks a strand of hair behind her hear.
Savannah Taylor: Do you think I could have a minute here?
Martin Taylor: Of course you can.
He motions for Harper to follow him as the two move to a quieter corner of the room, allowing Savannah to have a moment with her mother. Savannah turns her chair slightly so she has a better angle,and she takes her mother's hand in hers as she speaks.
Savannah Taylor: Hey Mom. I don’t know if you can hear me or not, but there is something I’ve been wanting to say for a while now. I just wish this were under better circumstances. I’ve been thinking a lot about the circumstances that led us to this point, to this same hospital almost a year ago. I didn’t know what to expect. I hadn’t seen you or Dad in over a year and the last time we all saw each other was under less than ideal circumstances. I had so many questions that I wanted answers to, so many things I wanted to say that I never thought I would be able to. Even though we got past a lot of what happened in the past and even though I have my family back for however long, there is something I never told you.
She draws in a breath as she tries to steady her voice and keep her emotions in check for a moment.
Savannah Taylor: I forgive you, Mom. I forgive you for not fighting for me when you were released. I forgive both you and Dad for some of the choices you both made. I realize now, as pathetic as this may be on my part, that you were doing what best for me. I get that now. There is so much I want you to experience with me, so much that we haven’t been able to do. That is why I want you to fight through this. Please Mom, I want you to wake up and……
Savannah is cut off by by the sudden shrill noise of the heart monitor starting to go flat. Savannah leaps from her chair and looks over at her sister and father, the latter of whom had rushed out the door to yell for the doctor. Within seconds, a trio of doctors, all in their crisp white labcoats, whisked in and immediately converged on Carla’s bed. One of the doctors looked at the family members and quietly started to usher them towards the door.
Doctor: I’m going to have to ask you to wait outside.
Savannah Taylor: What's going on?
Doctor: We are going to do everything we can to make sure she is okay. We just need you three to wait outside.
He says as Savannah, her father and her sister shuffle out the door and into the hallway. The door shuts behind them as Martin and Harper take seats in the pair of chairs across from the door, leaving Savannah to stand against the wall. All three were silent as they stared at the door, wondering what was going on. Savannah kept hoping that somehow, someway, the doctors were able to do something for her mother. But the somewhat realistic and borderline cynical side of her knew that thy end was drawing near. She wasn’t ready to let go yet. She wanted her mother around for a long time, for her to share in any future life milestones she may have. The minutes seemed to drag on as the trio sat in silence, neither one quite knowing what to say. After about seven long and agonizing minutes, the door creaks open and the doctor steps out. His poker face was reminiscent of the most seasoned blackjack player at The Palms. Martin is the first to rise from his chair as the doctor comes over.
Martin Taylor: How is she? Can we go see her?
Doctor: We tried everything we could to revive her. We tried everything in our power to stabilize her. Unfortunately, we lost her. I’m so sorry.
He says as he backs off into the room. It was at this precise moment that time stopped. Savannah could see her father begin to break down as soon as the doctor delivered those painful words. She could see her sister sobbing as she wrapped her arms around their father. But she couldn’t hear them. All she could recall was her sliding down the wall and crashing to the floor. She felt her shoulder shake as the tears flowed from her eyes. She didn’t give a damn that her makeup, something she hadn’t bothered to remove, was going to be ruined. She didn’t care who saw her ugly crying in the middle of a hospital floor. What just happened was something that would change her from here on out. She vaguely felt her father and sister sit down on either side of her, each wrapping an arm around her. One day removed from exactly one year since she reconnected with her mother, she was gone. There would be no more conversations with her mother about any and everything under the sun. There would be no more tales about how the family would gather around the television to watch Savannah wrestle wherever she was. There would be no chance for her mother to see her wrestle in person in two weeks at the Orleans Arena. Savannah’s heart went out to her sister, who wouldn’t have her mother there to see her off to the University of Maine in a few weeks. All future plans were thrown out the window now. Now there were phone calls to other family members to be made and arrangements to be made. As the family sat there sobbing and trying to comfort each other, Savannah thinks back to the words she said only a few hours ago about why this was happening to her. Life had a habit of kicking her down a few times, but she always managed to come out on top. This situation, however, had kicked her so down and so hard that she wasn’t sure how, or even IF she would make it out. It would take a village and some time, that is for sure. Everything would have to take a backseat, including wrestling. That was something she wasn’t ready to face, nor was she sure she ever would again.