"You Think?"

[Yun Goeun]

"Well, if I would say I have one advantage, it would be that she can't hit the Boobplex on me... Can she!?" Yun says aloud, watching some footage of Fujiko Mine that she had compiled over the years. Yun has a lot of respect for Fujiko and always has, this is like a dream match for her. Yun watches her hit the Boobplex again, then looks down to her own boobs.

"I think my boobs are too small to grab like that." Yun says, pointing to the jumbo sized boobs of Fujiko's opponent in this video. "If she can't use her best move, I have an advantage right?" Yun repeats, her bodyguard Joe Shamrock finally comes over and looks.

"You know, this is like some sort of male fantasy... Girls talking about their boobs being touched by other girls. But no, it does not give you any advantage. She still manages to beat male opponents, I mean they don't exactly have huge boobs either. Besides, I don't think she does that anymore, at least not the version you are thinking of." Shamrock says, watching the footage of Fujiko with Yun now.

"I think she is just going to grope you, and when you freak out, do the move. So, don't freak out. Don't let it distract you." Shamrock laughs.

"HOW COULD IT NOT DISTRACT ME!? THE BOOB GODESS WILL BE TOUCHING MY BOOBS!" Yun yells at him, "Do you know how awesome that is? It is like being touched by the hand of god, in this case almost literally.

"Wow, do you know how weird that was for me to hear you say, Miss Virgin? Like you freak out if someone so much as mentions a naked man to you, hell half of your relationship with Sebastian Grey was uncomfortable to watch. Anytime he would kiss you and run his hand down your back, you would tense up. But then here you go, wanting your boobs touched by Fujiko?" Shamrock is laughing as he says this, amused beyond words.

"This is different, she is a Goddess Among Boobs! To have yours touched by her, I hear makes yours bigger!" Yun says playfully.

"There is no way that can be true." Shamrock responds hastily.

"Hey, you don't have tits, you don't now how this works! So shut the fuck up!" Yun responds in anger.

"That is like me saying Ron Jeremy jerked me off, so I am going to have a huge penis." he laughs in response to her, still watching the footage of Fujiko, trying not to make eye contact with Yun, because he knows she is bright red right now.

"Oh my god, that is the grossest fucking thing I've heard in like a year. Where the hell is the bleach so I can get that visual out of my brain. Ugh. Do you know how... I have nothing... Hey I'm going to go vomit. Thanks."

"What? Its natural." he is laughing so loud now.

"THERE IS NOTHING NATURAL ABOUT THAT! OKAY! OKAY!? I have nothing wrong with two guys wanting to ya know, be in love. But if those two guys are a fat hairy dude that looks like Jon Lovitz and YOU... DO NOT WANT!" Yun screams.

"Relax, I was fucking with you." Joe is still laughing.

".. WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT THOUGH!?" Yun can not get this image out of her head, and that is really bothering her. Seriously, who jokes about gross things like that?

"Hey Yun, do you like movies about Gladiators?" Shamrock asks her, a smile on his face. Tormenting Yun is one of his greatest pastimes.

"What? I mean I guess I liked Gladiator, and I saw Spartacus... the series though not the movie. I guess?" She answers, really unsure where this question came from.

"Do you ever hang around gymnasiums?" Shamrock asks her, a smile on his face a mile wide now.

"...You okay? Did you get hit upside your head or something? Where the hell are these questions coming from all of a sudden? I mean you know I do, I have to keep in shape for wresting..." Yun responds a bit confused.

"You ever been in a Turkish Prison?" Shamrock asks her yet another question, causing the look on Yun's face to now turn to one of pure confusion.

"What?! Okay, are you sure you are feeling okay?" Yun asks, walking over to him and putting her hand on his forehead, checking to see if he is warm. He brushes her hand off and laughs out loud again.

"You ever seen a grown man naked?" he blurts out while laughing.

"OH FUCK YOU! The fuck out of here! Seriously, why you got to be so creepy all the time?" Yun yells at him.

"Relax. I'm still joking with you Yun, I told you that you flip out if you discuss naked men!" Shamrock stops laughing and gives her a slight smile.

"...okay why were we discussing naked men anyway? I seriously forgot how this subject came up." Yun sits down at her desk with him now, going back to watching the Fujiko Mine footage that Shamrock had still been watching.

"Because you said you want Fujiko here to touch your boobs." Shamrock responds to her.

"WELL I DO! It will make mine bigger I swear!" Yun says loudly.

"And that is how we got there. I was trying to explain that is not how that works and you.." Shamrock is interrupted by Yun before he can finish that.

"Nope, just we will call it a day right there. Okay!? And we shall NEVER discuss this shit EVER again. So no more dicks, no more naked men, no more boobs. They are off limits for us to ever discuss. Those words are now in the book of shit you can never talk to me about." Yun says, while clicking to exit out of the Fujiko video.

"Hey you were the one who brought it up to begin with...." Shamrock starts to say, but is again cut off.

"I told you, we are good. Do not need to press it anymore. We've established I am uncomfortable because I am a virgin, I think those were your words more or less. So I'm going to go down to the gym and train, and when I get back we will pretend this NEVER happened. Good? GOOD!"

Yun does not wait for him to respond, she just gets up and hurries off to the front door. She slams the door behind her leaving Joe Shamrock laughing as loudly as he can. Seriously, making Yun uncomfortable was one of his favorite things in the world. No way around it, and so many things made her uncomfortable. Secretly, Joe could not wait for Ling Ling to introduce Yun to her diamond dildo. The amount of freaking out he knew Yun would do, was going to be delicious...


~~~~~~~~~~

Yun was alone in a diner, she was writing on her laptop and loved this diner as it was quiet and let her think. Lately Yun had taken to writing about her life, she wanted to confront the demons of her past by writing about them, thinking that maybe she could publish them when she was done. As she took a break from writing to sip her coffee her phone beeped to let her know she had a message.

Yun looked at her phone, she had an unread text message from Sebastian Grey.
She clicked on it to bring it up, it read "I miss you..."

Yun let out a sigh.
Deep down she missed him too.
She really didn't even remember why they broke up in the first place.
She was under a lot of stress that week and ended up getting mad over the littlest things. One of those little things resulted to her breaking off her relationship.

She had not spoken to him since she broke up with him aside for a quick "Hi, how are you?" at Erin Daniels house a few weeks ago. She wondered how he was doing. He didn't look like he was handling things too well when they crossed paths then.

"I miss you too..." she responds, and clicks send.
Yun had been wanting to get in touch with him lately, and see if they could work some issues out. Yun's mind was largely in a better place lately and felt she owed him an apology. She nodded to her self as she thought about the apology...

"I am so sorry for being a bitch too you, I was stressed and took out my frustrations on you..." she types out, then hits send again. As soon as this message is sent, a response to her first text comes in from Sebastian. Yun clicks on it.

"I wanted you to know, I love you, Yun."

Yun fights back tears a bit as she reads this a couple of times over.
After reading it for the 4th time, another text comes in from Sebastian.

"It is okay, we are human. We make mistakes."

She is really fighting back tears now, and hastily responds.

"Breaking up with you was the worst mistake I ever made." and sends it with out thinking. The second it is sent, she smacks her forehead and quickly click the reply button again and types in "I love you, as well." and quickly hits send again.

Yun has been wanting to have this conversation for about a month now, and even if it was over text messages, she was glad she was having it. It really was the worst mistake of her life, breaking up with him. She had been miserable with him not in her life. It amused her, she never thought she would feel this way about anyone. She always swore she liked being single. Sebastian was the first and only relationship of her life, but the way he makes her feel... She loved that feeling.

Another text comes in.
"It made me smile to hear you (read you!?) say you love me. I've not heard it in a while now. Yun, would it be too forward of me to ask if we could go out to dinner tonight?"

Yun reads the message over a few times, then responds with "Like a date?"

Yun's heart was pounding as she typed that.
She could not feel anything in her hands or feet right now, they felt so ice cold and numb.
She did not have to wait long for a response as it came in almost right away.

"Yes. Like a date." Sebastian's text read.

Yun quickly typed up "I would love that, more than anything in this world!" and hit send quickly. She has finally lost her battle holding back tears as a few stream down her cheeks. But these were not from sadness, these tears that she was letting flow, were tears of joy.



~~~~~~~~~~
Yun Cam: The Boob Goddess Edition
~~~~~~~~~~

I can't lie, this is a match I have been dreaming of for almost 3 years now.
Since I first saw her in PDW, Fujiko has been someone I've admired and always wished to face.
So I have to tell you, the excitement I had when I saw her name opposite mine on the card in the back. I was to the moon. I just wish I could have faced her at any other point in my career than right now.

I am in the middle of the worst slump of my career.
Though I guess someone like Fujiko Mine would be a great Slump Buster... Former MAL Champion here, knocking her off would get me back on track. But I wish I could say I have the confidence in my self to beat someone like Fujiko Mine.

It is like quicksand this slump of mine.
The more I struggle against it, the deeper it drags me down.
I know I am not supposed to sit here and say I don't have confidence in my self.
I am supposed to say I still believe I can overcome any obstacle, that my losses were to better wrestlers.
Kurosawa, Izzy, Cordy. Sure. They were to better wrestlers, and at the time I believed I could beat each and everyone of them as I headed down to that ring.

But now that I sit here and think, Could I have?
I just don't know. Which is where am at, I just don't know if I can beat anyone.
I don't know if I am good enough anymore. I don't know if I ever was. To be honest, feeling this way scares me.

People have tried to tell me everyone goes through slumps, to just keep on going out there and work through it. But I don't know. When I saw Fujiko's name across from mine, as excited as I was to face her, deep down I was left wondering if I even stood a chance to beat her.

Which is why I wish I could have faced her at any other point in my career. Going out to the ring and not feeling like I can win is not only an insult to me, but to Fujiko. I really know I should not think this way but the more I fight against it, the worse the thoughts get.

Why can't I win?

Can I ever win again?

Fujiko is one of the best wrestlers in the back, someone almost everyone looks up too, someone I look up too and someone I know is going to bring her A Game to face me. Which just leaves me wondering do I even have an A Game? I used to think I did, but what if my A Game just isn't good enough? What if my A Game is someone else's F Game?

I hate that these thoughts cross my mind.
I debated long and hard with my self if I would sit in front of this camera and be honest with my self, or if I would pretend everything is awesome and just give the old "Never Give Up! Never Surrender" speech. I realize this sounds like I am throwing my self a pity party, but this is a party of one. I don't want pity, I want to work through this slump like everyone is telling me I should.

But again, the more I fight against it... The worse is gets and I just don't know what I could do right now to break out of it. I got to change something I think, but one thing I will not do is quit. Even if I lose every single match I wrestle this year, I just will not quit.

Even if I get labeled "Washed Up" at just three years into my career, I will not quit. I guess that is the never give up speech though in the end. Isn't it? Deep down I know I can beat this slump, but on the surface... Why can't I win!?

I can't even win the fight in my own head, to believe in my self.
If I can't win that fight, how I am supposed to win any matches?

Fuck, listen to me.
This is a pity party.

I hate where I am right now.
I hate thinking how I am thinking right now.
I always told my self I could handle anything. That I knew I would lose from time to time and that I could handle it, because even in a loss I would get better. But when all you seem to do is lose... I guess it just really does get to you, no mater how much you try to think it won't...

So I repeat. I just wish I could have faced Fujiko at any other point in my career. She deserves an opponent who is on top of their game. But for what it is worth Fujiko, I will bring every thing I have at you in the ring on Saturday. I will throw the very best I am capable of at you. I want to break this slump, and a win over you would be the confidence booster I need. But...

I just don't know if my best is good enough.
And that is the worst place to be. It is so scary to think like that in this line of work.

I could scream "HWAITING"
But frankly? What is the point?

Yun Goeun. Pity Party.
Reservation for One.

...I hope there is cheese to go with my whine.