Hans and Liesl vs 420 BC vs Bree & Donovan (Liesl)

[Noelle Smith]

Liesl stepped in front of the camera with almost military precision, dressed in a tight sheath dress (in the colors of the German flag, of course), sewn with spangles and crystal beads so that when the light hit her she almost glowed. Her hair was up in a severe bun, and she put her hands on her hips as she prepared to speak.

"So Hans and I will see action once more, this time at The New Mid-Atlantic Sportatorium. I am looking forward to being a force within this match, although I cannot say I am pleased with being in the heart of the Southern Problem. Where most of the food is battered and deep fried, and Honey Boo Boo isn't a unique aberration but among the norm for the fat pig eyed children. I tell you, if you wish to see the real problem with America, take a good look at the crowd which will come to see us in the ring."

Liesl shook her head with a level of fake concern that would have suited a politician's wife.

"It saddens me to think of all those children, with their lives cut so tragically short because their little hearts are overworked from all the fat and processed foods. What a shame."

Liesl's expression turned nasty then, lips twisting down.

"Much like this Triple Threat Tag Team match, where the perfection that is Hans and I must come into contact with substance abusers and freaks of the sport once again. 420 BC walked away with a win the last time we encountered them in a match, but truly what sort of win could it be when they were likely too stoned out of their minds to understand what happened? One of these nights they will simply fail to come out to the ring, more interested in wandering to the local Taco Bell and gorging their faces, feeding their munchies."

She rolled her eyes and then smirked.

"And of course, our very last match we fought the pair of Bree and her...friend...Donovan."

Liesl snickered.

“It was as I predicted, not boring at least, and yet here came 420 BC, attempting some foolish rescue mission? As if they wanted help from people that are from 'America's Hat', you just made them look WEAK and unable to defend themselves! Now this match, 420 BC will want to prove that not only was their 'win' against us in the past not a fluke, but that they are better than Bree and Donovan as well – despite their so-called good deeds. Hmmm. I believe that Bree and Donovan will be burning to prove they will not fall again, and that they do not need you two, wouldn't you agree?”

She widened her eyes in false surprise, pretending that this wasn't mere logic but an astounding revelation before strutting before the camera a bit, showing off her body.

“This is the result of hard work, something I have never feared, unlike so many Americans...and poutine slurping Canadians, who drink Maple Syrup by the gallon. So once again Hans and I will prove we are the superb athletes we know we are, and you four feel free to destroy each other in the pursuit of stopping us.”

Liesl dusted her hands off and stalked off of camera range as the swell of the German National Anthem played.


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Word Count: 562