Strings.
Feb 26, 2015 11:58:37 GMT -5
Post by James Joseph Page. on Feb 26, 2015 11:58:37 GMT -5
Prologue: My Declaration of War.
There’s so much...that I want to do...things I want to see. Ever since winning this championship, I’ve felt...THINGS. Whenever I felt like an empty nothing; Through the heartbreaks, through the struggles, through the ridicule, I’ve come back for one thing and one thing only: Because the FGA World Championship told me so. See, she has this voice, a strong, willing voice that keeps calling my name. Like a Siren, y’know? And her power, as much as people think they have come control over it, is too great. Look at’em, look at what I have to do for her. Look at the amount of bodies I’ve laid across the floor, just for HER. THIS BELT...this...belt...can be a curse at times. But y’know what, I LIKE it, because it makes me feel good. I love destroying dreams, I love watching the grief on people’s face, I love having the ability to make people feel something, I LOVE TO HURT PEOPLE! And it’s this sadistic vice, t-that keeps me motivated. Look at them all, circling me like a bunch of buzzards over carrion. They wanna pick the flesh clean from my bones. And you know what, THAT...makes me HAPPY…!!! That smile on my face back when those three idiots decided to come after me? That look of JOY, GODDAMNIT it’s the best feeling in the WORLD!!!! Because when I looked at them all, and I heard their vindication, and I heard their CONVICTION in fighting me, I...smiled. Not because I was wanted, n-not because of some fake sense of being the eye of someone else. I did it…
Because it’s FUTILE.
That’s right, FUTILE, HOPELESS, IMPOSSIBLE, it’s a CATCH 22!! Because no matter who, the head of FGA puts me up against, no matter how many fuckin’ times they stack the box against me; I. WILL. NEVER. STOP. I can’t stop, I can’t end it, it’s too great of a rush. I mean look at them. I mean Karma, let’s use Karma, because Karma is what I like to call desperate. YEARS ago, many years ago, people believed Johnny Karma to be the future face of FGA. The Pride Championship, the “Best Newcomer” award, the HYPE...oh the HYPE. People looked at Johnny Karma, snapped their fingers and said he would be the ONE. And now look at him, look at him now, GO ON!!!! What the Hell is he other than the butt of a joke told so many time, it isn’t even FUNNY anymore…?! Johnny Karma will tell you until he’s pink in the face, how I’m not worthy of this championship. He could tell you a story about how he’s what’s right for FGA--not fucking FWA--fucking FGA, MY KINGDOM. How can a peasant tell it’s KING, what is right or wrong? I’ll tell you why, because Johnny Karma is the King of Beggars. In his small, abysmal kingdom made of sand, he believes he has a higher calling. He sees me, shining brightly, taking away something he honestly has no right to hold. Johnny Karma is a nothing more than a BEGGAR, and he KNOWS it. He couldn’t look me in the eyes after I confronted him last show. Yeah, yeah, yeah he suckerpunched me, my ears were still ringing, he got me good!!! But what I want to do to him is even worse than death, I want to beat him and have him realize it was me and only ME!!!
I want Johnny Karma to wake up every day with this STINK of me on him. I want him to know I left some part of me inside of him, and that he will NEVER, and I mean NEVER...KARMA...LISTEN TO ME…!!!! He will never...be the fuckin’ same. Because I don’t just beat people, no I just don’t do that, I break them. I open up a world to them, a land uncharted, BARE, and fruitless. I send them to HELL!!! And in that Hell, in which I have been a resident of since I was born, there is no HOPE. No matter how many people back you, they can’t prop you up for so much longer. And Karma keeps pushing, and he keeps trying, and he gets his shot; And what is he going to end up with, besides a broken jaw, his glasses shoved down his worthless throat, and hurt pride? Nothing. Just like what he is: Nothing. And he will continue to be nothing, and he will continue to be worthless, and he will continue to be a joke, and when it’s all said and done, Johnny Karma will cease to exist in the realms of FGA, and you will thank ME for doing you all a favor!!!
FUTILE, people, FUTILE...is when you got on social media, calling someone out during shows, and expecting a reaction. Because Chandler Scott, is the personification of desperate. And you would think with him traveling the world so much, and winning CHAMPIONSHIPS in the U.K. he would be happy there. No, no, no, no instead, what I’ve seen is a deflated relic come set foot in doors he isn’t welcomed in anymore. Chandler Scott, for as smart as he believes himself to be, is nothing more than a dark reminder of what FGA use to be. FGA was home of spineless, devolved, and mediocre competition; And damn, if I was here around 2012 Chandler Scott wouldn’t even be in record books. I would tear down his pedestal and replace it with a stake with his fucking head on it. I AM FGA NOW!!! ME!!!! I’M THE FACE!!! Not Chandler Scott, and he can say what he wants, he can talk about my failed love, he can talk about how worthless of a man I am….but I’ve been here. Two years, I’ve been here, I haven’t ran from any competition they’ve shoved in my face.
Want to know what’s an injustice Scott? Being hated, not because you’re different, no...because you’ve evolved past humanity. I have transcended HUMANITY and have become OMNIPRESENT!!!! A GOD!!! Something you strive to be, no matter how much gel you put in your hair, or baby oil you put on your abs, no matter how good looking you are, no matter how great you think you are….there’s a reason why Satan got cast down. Nothing is higher than a GOD; A deity!!! What do you have to offer me, besides snide banter and tired sarcasm?! NOTHING SCOTT!!! So you called ME out, you made the jokes, you’ve had your fun; Now what? I’m just moments away from meeting you for the first time, and now you get to see what so many people haven’t been able to do; PULL...THE TRIGGER. I doubt you’re any different. You talk big shit, you put up this front, but I’ll tell you now, you’re going to get hurt. I’m going to humiliate you in front of whoever has some sense of admiration for you. I’M GOING TO DESTROY YOU!!!! DESTROY!!!!
I’m going to send you back to whatever Hellhole you came back from; SHIT, I’ll send you back to FRONTIER in a pine box if I have to so they can bury the rest of your remains with you. But I’m going to take your heart, and I’ll frame it, because people who face Jimmy Page always leave something behind when they challenge the King of the FUCKING World!!! I’m going to...hehe…take his smile. Nothing will be the same for him. Everything he eats, ash, everything he dreams of will be nightmares yet to come, I will leave him….not even as a man. On Saturday night, Chandler Scott is going to be castrated before a live audience. A Harvard degree didn’t prepare you for a fucking war; I am WAR...allow me to teach you what it feels like on a battlefield, Scott. No remorse, no dignity, no happy endings; Your new life.
Sean Sands…..
….
Why can’t you stay dead? Why can’t you just die? Why can’t the name of Sean Sands burn with the rest of his legacy? Why?! WHAT DO YOU WANT?! Everytime, everytime when I think I’m done with you, you show up, you keep showing up, as if you’ve risen from the dead…! You’re just as much of a relic as Chandler, and yet your expiration date was back in 2013. Two years later, I see you again, with some new sense of CREED; Redemption, trial and tribulations, a feel good story for the masses to fall in love with. Sean Sands, after being embarrassed here by me and so many others, comes back and does the impossible. He comes back and wins the big one. God, people will eat that up, it’s almost vomit inducing. People want Sean Sands to win, people want him to be the underdog who could; To, relive those days, when he got a nice fluke win and his name in the history books against Chris Q. People want that Sean Sands that won the Young Lions Cup, they want the hungry Sean Sands back.
Well, I killed that hungry Sean Sands; And now he’s somewhere doing paperwork and playing a general manager in a new company. They keep coming back for more I suppose. When I beat you, you STAY beat. You don’t get another chance, once you’re broken, you’re broken Sean. And no matter how many times you try and come back and say you’ve reinvented yourself; No matter how much you like to believe that your motivation is back, I am a stark reminder that even at your best Sands, I’ll beat you. TWO TIMES, TWO SEAN, I have made you look small TWO FUCKING TIMES, and you disrespect me by showing your face around here. You make me sick, you’re cancer, you’re nothing but a pus filled cyst on the back of FGA that was POPPED!!! There is nothing left for you.
In fact.
There isn’t anything left for any of these fucks facing me. All they want to do is see me fall. The belt doesn’t matter, but the title of being the “Man Who Beat Jimmy Page” has become more of a commodity than the FGA World Championship. Well guess what? I will never die. I’m going to live forever. I’m going to live FOREVER...did you hear me…?! I’M GOING TO LIVE FOREVER!!!! No matter how many times you try, no matter how much you don’t want to believe it, I AM GOING TO LIVE FOREVER!!! When this company begins to rot, and it’s towers begin to crumble, I WILL STILL BE HERE!!! I am never going to die, just to SPITE you three. I am going to continue to become KING OF THE FUCKING WORLD!!! I am going to continue to be WORLD CHAMPION!!! I will continue to be the bane of your existence, because I am a very vengeful GOD! This is your fate now!!! Everything you are, everything you ever had will be demolished on February 28th!! Your FATE was sealed when you four took up the challenge. You people want war? You better have enough ammo to bring some fuckin’ heat. Consider this, boys...my declaration of WAR, and so far…
I’m Undefeated.
“Do you believe in fate?”
“Hm?”
“I mean fate, do you believe things happen for a reason?”
“Well, I have the conception that, yes, things do happen for a reason; But that’s only dictated by your actions; Sort of...a cause and effect.”
“Huh.”
Dr. Gaines adjusted in her seat, kind of felt bad coming in when it looked like shit out here in New York. I thought Flint’s winters were bad, but New York looked like it was buried alive. There I was, up early in the morning, trying to find some solstice in my thoughts. Dr. Gaines helps, seeing her, speaking to her, helps it go away; The anxiety, the pressure, the self hate, the dark thoughts, she helps….a little. I don’t know what possessed me to drive five hours back to New York. This was kind of an addiction now. Coming to see her, to speak to her, to have her pick my head. So far these conversations felt like it was between friends. Was she a friend? I was giving her money, so I don’t think so. Maybe...friends with benefits? No, no matter how you throw it I’m just some nutcase crying into the arms of someone paid to tell me what’s wrong with me...that’s all there is to it.
I lean forward, holding my hands together as I looked at her. I shake my head, trying to come up with an answer.
Jimmy Page: ...Everything happens for a reason.
Dr. Gaines: ...And?
Jimmy Page: And I think that, sometimes, that isn’t true. Sometimes I think that there’s something greater at play out there. Not a God, just...events. I don’t think there’s a God that can tell us what to do. We are who we are, y’know?
I scoff.
Jimmy Page: I say that, and I have problems with knowing who I am.
Dr. Gaines: I think we’ve made progress in figuring that out. You have goals, aspirations, obstacles you wish to hurdle over. You’re….complex.
Complex huh?
Jimmy Page: ...Did I ever tell you story about a kid named Trey? Right after I graduated high school, a kid in the neighborhood I knew when I was coming up….
I lean back in the seat.
“He was a pusher…”
Ohio.
Tennessee.
California.
Endlessly.
Reign on.
Reign on.
Reign on.
Reign on.
Flint, you’re either gangbanging, selling drugs, or becoming addicted to’em. There’s a reason why so many people want to leave. It’s not a good place. I’m surprised I’ve lived there for so long. Honestly, now I try to avoid it like the plague. It’s a cesspool, littered with addicts and kids with no direction. I use to be one of those kids. The guys on my block use to hand me small bags, handed me an address, and I’d give it to the person. I barely got a percent of what I use to make. I was young, they use to give me $50 so I could buy something to eat….maybe a new pair of underwear and clothes and discount stores. When I got out of the game, for good, of course I met my fair share of beatings by some of that asshole, Lamarr. Why? Why not? But Trey, Trey and I had something in common: We both wanted out.
Trey: What I do with this number?
Jimmy Page: Carry it over here.
Trey: Ohh, cool, cool, damn n**** this shit easy.
Jimmy Page: Yeah.
Trey was a pusher, but on the side he was studying to get his GED. I remember when he was younger, he was 11 years old when I was still a pre-teen. The things he saw were just as bad as my experiences. His dad was a junkie who liked to beat his wife if he felt like she scammed him on a rock. Trey was taken by child services and he lived with his grandparents. Even though they tried to keep him off of the streets, he always came through. Soon, he was pushing dope for Lamarr. He dropped out of school his sophomore year, after that his grandparents kicked him out of the house.
Trey came to me after he heard around the block that I graduated. Word gets around fast, but that’s Flint for you, everybody has ears around somewhere. I was helping Trey study, when he first came to me, I pretended I would be busy; But Trey came to me telling me about his new life. He met a girl, someone he loved; Long story short, he got her pregnant. Now a kid at 16 having another kid was going to be hard; But Trey was committed. He didn’t want this kid to end up like him. I respected him for that. It’s not every day you see someone who wants to do something with themselves instead of letting Flint swallow them whole.
Trey: Yo, I appreciate you helpin’ me and shit man. I know how you feel about Lamarr and everythin’, but you straight.
Jimmy Page: As long as you get out of the game and move on that’s all I need to help you out.
Trey: Yeeeah. I mean, pushin’ easy, hand off, get the money, I got a new pair of Jordans; But a n**** can’t be lookin’ over his shoulder. I mean shit…
Trey writes down the answer to the problem. I point out his mistake…
Jimmy Page: Gotta carry the five.
Trey: Oh, right, right good look. I mean, Shay ain’t tryna have the baby grow up around drugs; I mean, I wouldn’t wanna raise no kid in that shit. My parents, n****? Shit was fucked up. I just tryna make sure I give the kid somethin’, feel me?
Trey puts the pencil down, he chuckles and smile at me.
Trey: Wanna know what I wanna do when I get my GED, fam? I’ma get a job, a real one.
Jimmy Page: Doin’ what?
Trey shrugs his shoulders at me.
Trey: Shiiiit, I don’t know. I’ma start small, work at a McDonald’s. Shit n****, this bitch gonna have the best burgers in ALL of Flint.
I chuckle and put up my books.
Jimmy Page: I’ll be sure to get some free food outta you, T.
Trey: I gotchu, kid, watch.
Jimmy Page: Understand everything though?
Trey: Yeah, everythin’ comin’ through man, good look.
Jimmy Page: Cool….want me to walk you home.
Trey chuckles and rolls his eyes.
Trey: Fuck I look like Jimmy? I’ma man, I handle mine.
Jimmy Page: Think of me as your muscle.
Trey: Maaaan you ain’t got no muscle, homie. Roll up with you n****s gonna be bakin’ my ass.
Jimmy Page: They know me out there, I’m your protection, your bodyguard if you wanna be real about it.
Trey: Man, bring yo ass on then man, I gotta stop at the joint anyway pick some cigarettes up anyways and shit.
I smirk and throw on my hoodie. We walk out of his small little apartment and head downstairs. Trey talked to some of the dudes who hung out near the steps. They gave me small nods, at least they knew who I was. Not a lot of white faces around this way anyway.
Trey looks up at me.
Jimmy Page: Is it a boy or girl?
Trey: Man, she been buggin’ my n****. She up here sayin’ it might be a girl. Shit, I wanna boy, got so much I wanna tell’em man. Tell’em go to school, make good friends, have some respect for ya’self know what I’m sayin’? Just...don’t be like me. Grandparents meant well, loved me man, gave me everything, brought my ass up, but I ain’t wanna listen to none, man.
We take a turn towards the corner store and go inside.
Trey: Only lookin’ out for my ass and I ended up fuckin’ that up. Sometimes I be thinkin’ that this shit happened for a reason. I don’t know who the fuck I upset up there, man, but they got it out for me.
Jimmy Page: Nah, just a lil’ bad luck.
Trey: Shit is that it? Coulda fooled me with that.
Jimmy Page: Bad things happen, but sometimes the good things outweigh the bad things. You’re gettin’ your GED...you and Shay are gonna have a healthy--
Trey: Boy.
Jimmy Page: Yeah, boy, and you’re gonna start over. When you visit your grandparents, they’ll see a new you.
Trey: Maaan I hope.
Clerk: What can I get you?
Trey: Newports.
The clerk hands him a pack and he pays up. We head back out, Trey hands me a cigarette and we both light up. We walk down the street towards Shay’s apartment complex. There was something on my mind though, something that could be a problem.
Jimmy Page: ...You tell Lamarr?
Trey: ….Nah man.
I sigh, blowing smoke from my lips and looking at Trey with some concern.
Jimmy Page: You know how he is man, he don’t let people go just like that.
Trey: Yo, I been loyal to that n**** since I was a young head man. Made him money, should be good.
Jimmy Page: You know what his fuckin’ motto is, once you with him you stick with him forever. He doesn’t let shit go...believe me.
I can still feel his goons kicking my ribs into my lungs.
Trey: I’ma handle it man, don’t worry. I can talk to the dude.
Jimmy Page: ...Alright man.
Trey nudges me with a smirk, blowing smoke from his lips slowly.
Trey: Man you worry to fuckin’ much.
Jimmy Page: I’ll do it for the both of us.
Trey: Bet.
We walk down the street, talking about math problems. I had to keep him sharp, wanted him to ace that test. He was smart, absorbed everything like a sponge. He could make it out of here, finally....someone who made it. We continued to talk...until…
“Ayo, TREY…!”
That voice, I got cold and soon our eyes met. Lamarr, a big black dude who always had this devilish smirk on his face. He had a blunt in his mouth, D12 was blasting on the stereo, and his boys were acting like assholes like usual to people who passed by. Lamarr blew black smoke through his lips and smirked at me.
Lamarr: Wassup, J?
Jimmy Page: ...Yeah.
Lamarr: You lookin’ good, n****. Word got around you successful now, kid. God a diploma and everything.
Jimmy Page: Word does get around.
Lamarr: Mhm.
Lamarr looked at me, Trey just stares at him. The two dap each other up and embrace casually.
Lamarr: What up blood?
Trey: Nothin’ got up a pack and we headed over to my girl crib.
Lamarr: Word, word. Yo, I got some work for you later on so hit me up.
Trey: …
Trey looked at me, then swallowed a bit. He put his cigarette out and shakes his head.
Trey: I don’t think I’ma be able to do that, I’m tryna chill for a few…
Lamarr looked at him, squints a bit, and then gives a deep chuckle.
Lamarr: What you gettin’ cold feet on me for, man? It’s just a lil’ work won’t take long. I got some shit you gotta deliver on 5th street. Some major bread comin’ ya way if you get it there on time.
Trey: I don’t think I can do it, L.
Lamarr: …
He looks at me, then at Trey.
Lamarr: I ain’t seen you around lately, though, wassup? You ain’t been hittin’ me up lately, and now you with him, and all. You hangin’ with white boys now?
Trey: He my muscle.
Lamarr: Ooooh, hehe, his muscle, n****.
Lamarr nudges one of his boys and laughs as the other shakes his head.
Lamarr: …Go head, n****, I get someone else to do it.
Trey: Aight.
Lamarr: See you on the flip J.
Jimmy Page: Yeah...sure.
I could feel Lamarr staring a hole through the back of my skull. I glanced back a bit, but turn back around.
Jimmy Page: ...That went well.
Trey: Yeah, he be aight.
Jimmy Page: You sure?
Trey: It’s good man, shit, chill.
Jimmy Page: I just mean that was too easy man--
Trey: n****, if I worried about everybody around here I’d have more enemies than friends. I’ma handle it, if shit pop off I’ma handle the shit man. Ain’t nothin’ bad gonna happen, now hurry man, she expectin’ me to be home soon and I ain’t tryna have her stress.
Jimmy Page: Okay…
We made it to her apartment complex. Trey didn’t look worried, but I was. Lamarr wasn’t a guy who liked “No”.He was a control freak, liked to keep everyone on a string. He was a puppet master. When the cops questioned his own, they shut up or he shut them up. There’s a reason why he’s still on the streets today. When you got strings on everything and everyone...there’s no need to worry. You snip them off, and find a new puppet to play with. He was vindictive, a snake, and he knew it; And I think he liked it.
Trey’s a good kid. Deep down he knows he’s done things wrong; and fate’s trying to repay him. He’s not a pusher, he was a kid trying to fight against a system that said he’d either sell dope or shoot a basketball. He wanted to be...NORMAL. And this normal lifestyle he wanted was going to come with a price. In my deepest of hearts, I wanted him to live a happy life. He’s too young to be so miserable. I guess him coming to me, to help him study was a Godsend. It really was, a Godsend.
Donna told me before she passed on that I had to do good by people. Sometimes the rewards are boundless. Donna, bless her heart, was so naive at times, but I didn’t want to say that. She was pure, and she had a good eye for good hearts. I guess some of that rubbed off on me, because I can see the good in Trey.
Knock, Knock, Knock!!
Trey and I stood outside of Shay’s door. She was a pretty girl, kind of sad she had to have a kid so early in her life. She had wavy hair, her eyes were hazel and she had a nice smile. Shay lived with her aunt, who at the time was still upset that she got pregnant. Trey swore to Shay’s aunt he’d get legit work and support the baby and Shay to the best of his abilities. At first she kicked him out, but after she found out he’s been trying to get his GED she’s been supportive. Shay opens the door, Trey’s face lights up like a Christmas tree. She had a small bump on her stomach, holding it lightly.
Shay: Hey baby.
Trey: Heeeey.
She leans in and kisses Trey lightly. Shay smiles at me brightly.
Shay: What’s goin’ on Jimmy?
Jimmy Page: Nothin’ much, walkin’ him home. You know how he get’s lost, I’m kind of like his seein’ eye dog or somethin’?
She giggled at my lame joke.
Shay: Well I’m glad you brought him here in one piece. How’d studying go?
She lets us both in. Her apartment was small, but it was adequate. Two nice couches, two bed rooms, a bathroom, kitchen, and a nice little living room where all of her family pictures were. We both sat down while Shay went into the kitchen to make some drinks.
Trey: Where Aunt Denise at?
Shay: Workin’ late at the hospital. Said she ain’t gonna be in until morning.
Trey: Damn.
Shay: Yeah, so I’ma need you here to protect me.
Trey: I got you, wanted to ask to stay over anyway, just to see you and shit.
Shay: That’s so sweet of you.
Jimmy Page: Smooth.
Me and Shay share a chuckle as Trey sarcastically laughs along.
Shay: How’s the studyin’?
Trey: Good, J a good teacher.
Jimmy Page: I just paid attention in school sometimes.
Trey: Yeah well, you explain it better than them teachers ever did though.
Jimmy Page: Nah, it’s simple when you get down to it.
Shay: You think you could help me too?
Jimmy Page: Sure.
Shay: Thanks, I really do appreciate you doing this for us. I know Trey’s past life is messed up, but this is our chance to be responsible. I’m just glad we’re doing this right.
Trey: ...How’s the baby doing?
Shay: Keeps getting bigger, I don’t know it might be a boy.
Trey: Yeeeah, what I tell you…?!
Shay: MIGHT, big head, it MIGHT be. We won’t know until we see the ultrasound. Aunt Denise wants to do it, but I don’t want her ruinin’ the surprise and everything. I might go alone tomorrow.
Trey: You need any cash?
Shay: I got it, don’t worry baby…
Trey looked at me and then back at Shay, and it looked like he had a lot on his mind. Trey leans forward and glances at Shay.
Trey: ...I told Lamarr I ain’t pushin’ no more.
Shay: ...What did he say?
Trey: He said he’d get someone else to do it.
Shay: Trey...are you sure?
Trey: Yeah I’m sure, whatchu mean if I’m sure Shay?
Shay: You know Lamarr gotta reputation out here. He don’t let things go--
Trey: Yo, I’ma man, if I say I don’t wanna push no more he gonna listen man. He ain’t some monster, he a man just like me. He need me more than I need him anyway. Let that n**** find some other flunky!
Shay: Trey, I just--the baby, and I just want you safe--
Trey puts a hand over Shay’s looks her in the eyes.
Trey: Ain’t nothin’ gonna happen, after I get this GED, I’m gonna get a job, help you and Miss Denise out, aight?
Shay: …
Shay places Trey’s hand on her cheek and nuzzles into it. She kisses it and nods her head, standing by her boyfriend.
Shay: Okay.
Trey: ...Yo Jimmy, it’s gettin’ late man…
Jimmy Page: Yeah, I better go to, I gotta go job hunting myself tomorrow.
Trey: ...See you same time?
Jimmy Page: You bet.
We shake hands and I give Shay a small hug. I leave them both to themselves and head back. Lamarr wasn’t there, so I had a safe trip home. I kept worrying about Trey and Shay. Shay was strong, she knew what would happen if Trey stopped selling, but she stood by him. She was dedicated, and loyal, something you don’t see a lot of. Sometimes it makes me think about what could’ve been if I gave Sally another chance. No...no that was behind me...all of that...was behind me.
I woke up the next day and did my daily routine of going around the neighborhood and trying to find work. I left my foster home, lied to them and said that I took a scholarship to a college and I was going to live on campus and had a part-time job. I didn’t take anything with me besides a little bit of clothes and cash I had saved up. I needed to work, somewhere, there had to be someone hiring. I looked everywhere, convenience stores, grocery stores, Hell I even applied for a janitor position at a Sears. But nothing showed up, and soon I began to think about FATE again. Maybe my fate was to just disappear forever. My life wasn’t any better than Trey’s and fate was beating me up pretty bad.
Dr. Gaines: So...what happened to Trey?
Jimmy Page: ….Damnit.
Dr. Gaines: Take your time.
Jimmy Page: I really don’t wanna talk about it.
Dr. Gaines: ...The only way I can help you is if you’re honest with me James.
Jimmy Page: Well honesty really doesn’t help in this situation now does it?
Dr. Gaines: James.
Jimmy Page: W-What? What do you want me to say right now? What is it that you want from me? I gave you a story and now you’re asking me to cut to the end? What it’s not good enough for you to know about a kid who had the same problems as me, but fought against whatever was holding him back…?! Is that what you wanna hear from me or something? Fine, he got a job, they had a healthy baby boy, and right now he should be what? In middle school starting out? His mom’s working and they lived happily ever after, that good enough for you?!
Dr. Gaines: ….
I shouldn’t have blown up at her like that. I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose, as I compose myself and get ready to tell her everything.
Jimmy Page: Trey was coming back from class, he usually got home around 1 p.m. He’d stop to get something to drink, and then we’d meet at his small little apartment and study together.
Dr. Gaines: He was late.
Jimmy Page: …..
“Yeah, you could say that.”
I was handing in an application to the quick mart we usually stop by. Got something to eat and all of a sudden I see Shay…
Shay: Jimmy, you seen Trey?!
Jimmy Page: No...I was just getting ready to meet him--
Shay: I’ve been calling his phone forever. He ain’t pick up and I’m getting worried.
Jimmy Page: Listen, calm down, don’t stress, you gotta baby to worry about okay? I’ll go find him, you go home.
Shay: It’s a boy.
I can’t believe she told me of all people. I give her a smile…
Jimmy Page: Congratulations.
I give her a hug and went off to find him. This was getting bad, after an hour of talking to some of his friends they hadn’t seen him. I was starting to fear for the worst now. That’s when I decided I’d ask the only person who kept tabs on him.
Jimmy Page: Lamarr.
Lamarr looked at me and then looked back at the group he was talking to.
Lamarr: See ya’ll later.
I walked up to him, and looked him in the eyes.
Jimmy Page: You seen T?
He gave a shrug and shakes his head nonchalantly.
Lamarr: Naw, I ain’t seen little man. Probably out doin’ somethin’ or--
Jimmy Page: Quit fuckin’ around Lamarr.
Lamarr’s face then turns a bit cold as he looks back at me.
Jimmy Page: He was suppose to be back home by 1 after his classes ended. You’re the only person who keeps tabs on him like that. Now, you gonna stop jerkin’ me around or are you going to tell me where the fuck the kid is…?
Lamarr: You got a set white-boy.
Jimmy Page: Yeah, exactly what one of your goons told me when I broke his fucking nose after they jumped me. You tried to beat me to death. Now I couldn’t reported this to Morris and have you locked away for good, but seeing as nobody wants to be the one who said they put you in jail I stopped myself. Or I couldn’t found you personally and we could’ve squashed this shit with you eating your teeth, but I’m tryna to live a better life right now. So...where is he Lamarr…?
Lamarr gives me a smug look.
Lamarr: Vacation.
My eyes widen slightly, and I remember back up away from him and running to look for Trey.
Jimmy Page: TREY!!!!! …...TREEEEEEY!!!!!
I searched everywhere that could be searched. I couldn’t find him. I kept yelling his name. People looked at me like I was crazy, but I didn’t care. Trey was going to MAKE it. He was going to be a dad, he was going to be something. Flint wasn’t going to take him. I kept on my search, the sun was beginning to set, and I knew Shay was worried to death. I had to do this, for their sake. I tried calling out for him again.
Jimmy Page: YO TREEEEEY!!!!?
“Help…”
It was faint, but I heard something.
“Somebody….heeeeelp.”
It started to sound stronger, I run down an alley and see blood. Trey was slouched over a dumpster bleeding back. His mix of groans and crying were heard. I run over and tear my jacket from my body and try and stop the bleeding.
Jimmy Page: Shit, shit, shit, shit...Trey calm down, just calm down we gotta s-s-stop the bleeding. Okay? We’ll get an ambulance to come and, and, and--fuck--
I run down the entrance of the alley way.
Jimmy Page: YO!!!!!
I called out to one of the store owners sweeping.
Jimmy Page: CALL 911 quick!!! QUICK!!!!!
The clerk rushed inside and went for a phone. I went back to Trey who’s brown skin was turning gray.
Jimmy Page: Stay with me man, just--hey--stay with me Trey!! Don’t go to sleep, man! Just--Jesus Christ.
Trey: ….Wh….ere Sh...y a...t…?
Jimmy Page: She’s home, we’re gonna call her and tell her you’re at the hospital okay? Just relax…!!
Trey: ...The b...by…
Jimmy Page: Yeah, the baby, think about the baby, stay still I’m gonna try and stop some of this bleeding…
Trey: ....Gotta job...groceries…
Jimmy Page: That’s where you been…?!
Trey: Ye..ah…
Jimmy Page: I knew you were late, well we’re gonna celebrate after this man, so stay with me--
I stand up and look where at the clerk come over.
Clerk: They’re coming.
Jimmy Page: Thanks, c-c-can’t you get some towels or something please?! Please thank you, just help me please!
Clerk: I’m on it!!
Jimmy Page: HURRY!!!
I go back to Trey who was going in and out.
Jimmy Page: Trey who did this…? Hey, stay with me now!! Who did this, was it Lamarr…?! Trey…!!
Trey: ...Think it gonna be a boy…
I start to tear up and sniff.
Jimmy Page: Yeah, um, it’s a boy. Shay stopped me and told me.
Trey: ...Damn…
Jimmy Page: A healthy boy, she wanted to keep it a secret…
Trey: …..Heh…
Suddenly his eyes gloss over…
Jimmy Page: Trey.
I give a hysterical scoff, and break into a cry. I shake him lightly trying to force a smile on my face.
Jimmy Page: C’mon man we gotta go see Shay...Trey...wake up we gotta go, c’mon stand up.
I try to move his limp body, he was cold. I sat there, sobbing as I sat next to him, covered in his blood. Soon paramedics showed up. Shay showed up and tried to fight through the crowds of people. Her face turned into terror.
Shay: TREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! GOD NO!!!!!!!!!!
She sobbed, the police tried to hold her back, but she fought to get near him. I sat there, right beside Trey’s lifeless body. The police tried to move me, but I was in shock. My eyes turned towards the crowd, there I saw Lamarr….standing there...a blunt in his mouth...watching. We made eye contact. He winks at me and walks away, leaving Shay a widow…
Jimmy Page: Once in awhile I visit Shay and Trey Jr. They’re good, Junior’s in school, good grades, smart like his dad.
I pause and look at Dr. Gaines.
Jimmy Page: Do you know something about fate? It’s fucking terrifying. No matter what we try to do, it creeps up on us. Everything happens...for a reason. But there was no reason fate decided Trey had to die.
Dr. Gaines: …
Jimmy Page: I’m going to keep fighting it. No matter what people say. I’m gonna keep fighting “FATE”.
I look at the clock on my phone.
Jimmy Page: ...I got a five hour drive up to Pittsburgh....thanks for the talk.
Dr. Gaines: ...Um, gladly.
I stand up and leave her office. The bitter taste in my mouth about Trey resurfaces. I get in my car, and drive...Saturday night…
Fate and I would fight again.
"I got no strings, to hold me down..."
In my hands I had strings, all colors, all of them unique, all of them a purpose. I glare into my camera as I sit down inside of a hotel with this strings entangled with my hands. I played with them as I glared at them all.
"I got no strings, to hold me down..."
In my hands I had strings, all colors, all of them unique, all of them a purpose. I glare into my camera as I sit down inside of a hotel with this strings entangled with my hands. I played with them as I glared at them all.
Jimmy Page: Strings. We all have them. Strings that tie us all together. The three men are connected to me, Scott, Karma, and Sands. See, they are connected to me, because I allow them to be. I allow all three of them to be entwined in my little world, because I hold their fates in my hand. They won't admit it, they'll deny it. They'll even go as far as fight their fate...but they just don't get it. They'll never get it, they're so enticed by this championship that they can't see the bigger picture. FATE, dictates that they will not succeed, fight me on it all you like, but YOU WILL NOT SUCCEED. I don't need a college education when it comes to the battle you all face. And I'm addressing you all, because you three are so predictable. You're worthless, clones pushed out of the FGA to antagonize me.
Your entire existence at this point is to stop me. Your have to stop me you have to do it, because THAT is your prize. The prize is to "KILL JIMMY PAGE" and many people have tried to take that title. Many people have tired to beat me, but they just don't have it. You three JUST. DON'T. HAVE. IT. You have no killer instinct, you have no meaning behind your actions, you're a bunch of fucking PAWNS. You are nothing more, nothing less. And I am in control of your strings, like little PUPPETS. I'm in control, I hold your lives literally...
I hold up the strings tangled in my hands.
Jimmy Page: In my hands. STRINGS...for the puppets. Nothing but strings. And you can continue to deny your fate, fight it; But how can mere mortals hope to face a GOD!!! I am a GOD!!! I am a RULER!!! I AM THE KING OF THIS CASTLE!!! And you are just subjects that will do me bidding, you are PUPPETS with STRINGS, which if I see to it can be CUT!!! Antagonize me more. Feed me more of your bullshit, say the things I know you're going to say. Puppets, have no voice, they only say what the creator tells them to say. Scott, Sands, and Karma will continue to come after me, they see me as the biggest threat. They will CONTINUE to fight the impossible. Pittsburgh, A New Odyssey, your FATES are sealed!!!! No more talks of beating me, no more threats, no more TWITTER beefs. You wanna prove you're worth something....try and take control over your fate...but you will fail...like everyone else.
I pause for a moment and look at the strings, I slowly break them apart, one at a time and toss them over my shoulder.
Jimmy Page: You can't win.
I walk towards the camera...and then turn it off. Then...
END.
