Rinse Repeat
Jul 11, 2014 20:00:20 GMT -5
Post by pimp on Jul 11, 2014 20:00:20 GMT -5
Rinse Repeat
July 9, 2014
Miami, FL
Location: Strava Hair & Nails
Strava is the Italian word for extravagant, and that's always been me in a nutshell. That's why it's the name of my fashion line, floral shop (Formerly Sunshine Roses), and hair/nail salon. Hair & Nails in particular was my pace of zen. This is where I got away from it all, and I could pretend to be a normal tax-paying, law-abiding citizen. I am none of that anywhere outside of these walls.
Today I was seeing a long time client, Kathy. She knows the most about me out of all my clients...probably because when I met her and tried to employ her to Sophisticated Sally's. She told me she was above that type of shit while flashing her Michael Kors bag. I believed her and left it alone. Still wanted to fuck, so I told her about Strava: 10 minutes of bullshit convo (2 explaining Strava and 8 convincing her I wasn't gay) later, and I was in. The sex was terrible so I asked if we could just keep this platonic (she really thought I was gay then).
After about a year and a half, we got to know each other better. Kathy had always wanted to be a model but a modest one. I set her up with the best stock photographer. There's good money in stock images, I guess. She's the white brunette in all of those generic pictures that come with frames. You've definitely seen her around.
Waiting for her to come in I look over to Chauncey to see how he was doing with his client. I've never seen her before, and I usually knew most of everyone who came in. With my schedule being so crazy, I'm only working here 2 days out of a given week. Chauncey handles the shop while I'm away. He's an eccentric motherfucker...thinks he's Jermaine Stewart, and looks damn near like him too. "Chaunce." I swing over to him, folding my arms and leaning back against the next empty seat. "Who do we have here?" The young lady had her head tilted down as Chauncey was combing her hair.
In his overly forced high-pitched voice of flamboyance, "this is Stacey. She works at King of Diamonds. She just wants a wash and cond-ish." He stops combing and she lifts her head up. She was gorgeous. Petite but not bones, still meaty like I like them. Her skin tone was a lighter shade of cantaloupe. I love them in all different flavors, and Chauncey knew this. The woman smiled at my reflection in the mirror in front of her as Chaunce was talking to me. "Stacey's from Minnesota. She's only been in Miami for about 6 months since she started going to the U." The U was what everyone around here referred Miami University as.
I was smiling right back at her, couldn't help but admire her natural beauty. It didn't look like she was wearing a smidget of makeup. Being in the cosmetics industry, I can distinguish between the "no makeup look" and when a female is actually wearing no makeup. "So Stacey, where are your parents from?"
A small chuckle was released as if she was dying for me to talk to her directly. Chauncey gently pulled her hair back into the bin attached to the seat. In her soft sweet voice, "well my mother's from Puerto Rico and so is my father but we've never met." Just the trainwreck mess I love. "I don't really know anyone here, it's tough ya know?"
I sat in the seat next to them, looking up to notice Chauncey snickering. He's seen this play out tons of times the very exact same way. "I understand honey. You need someone who can take you in and adapt you to this society." I take her hand, just as delicate as I imagined it would be. "Miami is an entire different world from Minnesota, I don't think you need me to tell you that. You probably have seen it already. But have no more fears. Baby, I can guide you in a way your father never could. That's why he walked out on you. Sunshine Tony is what they call me, and I can bring you to the light."
"Umm...you'll be my..."
"Friend. Yes. Yes I will." I kissed her hand and suddenly the bells from the door started to sound off to signify someone was coming in. Looking up, I find myself cheesing. Kathy is just as glowing as ever. With a new Michael Kors bag hand, she takes off her shades and swings her hair as she folds her arms. I reach onto Chauncey's work station, pulling out a card with my number on it. I hand it over to Stacey who giggles as she stuffs the card in between her breasts. "We'll chat later sweetie. Take care of her Chancey."
"Oh you know I will."
Patting Chaunce on the shoulders, I stand from the seat and wave to Kathy. "Ohhh emmm geeeee....look at how goooorrrrgeous you are hun!!" Kathy blushes as I walk over to her at the front counter. We greet each other with kisses on the cheek that don't actually touch. I step back admiring her look. "Is that a new dress? It surely looks familiar..."
"Indeed it is Antonio. Just picked it up from your boutique in Little Havana." Kathy twirls around to show it off. It's a piece I just designed not too long ago. I had no idea the ladies at the fabrics department had already started making the look. She drops the Dolce & Gabbana shades in her purse before slipping the bag off. The southern drawl in her accent was riveting to say the least. "I have a movie premiere later on tonight but the sun and humidity's been really messing my hair up. It has no bounce no more."
Kathy puts a pouty face on. I lightly pinch her cheeks, mocking her facial expression. "Child, you know I can fix that. Quick, fast and in a hurry." I turn my head to Chauncey. "Chaunce, when does Kathy EVER leave the studio NOT looking like a million bucks and thirteen cents?" He turns around and snaps his fingers in the air.
"Boy please! She's always looking fabulous on the runway." I shrug my shoulders. Kathy laughs before making her way to my chair. She took a seat, playing with the bottom of her hair. I've always loved playing hair. It was so fascinating to me how different it could be for different types of people. I've never been to beauty school but my mother was big into cosmetics, and I would I always makeup mannequins with her as a child. It's one of those things that separated me from the rest; and as you might imagine, it made for great jokes in school. That all stopped in college when guys saw that me doing hair was leading me to fuck some of the hottest chicks around.
To this day, my hair & nail studio gets me into the panties of Miami's most elite: models, actresses, pageant winners, fashion designers, etc. People can think I'm gay all they want. You name the industry, I was in the social circle somehow. "I just have these split ends and I'm losing volume." Kathy knew I was the goto man in this city of just about everything.
"Well I'm like Sam from Holes. I can fix that." I knew she would get the reference because Holes is a movie/book we'd talk about occasionally. Always a huge Shia Labeouf and Sigourney Weaver fan, Holes is one of my favorite movies. Hands down. I chuckle thinking about some of the scenes in it. "Girl you know I will never let you down. So how are things?"
She sticks her tongue out at me through the mirror reflection. "Blah. You know it's the same ol' same ol'. Modeling is really getting big here in Miami, so it's getting competitive. It can get stressful." She gives a giggle before shrugging. "You told me best. It's cutthroat out here. How's everything going with you?"
"That's right." I say as I start to run my fingers through her hair, taking out any tangles. "You have to be prepared for the worst. I was always taught that everyone doesn't share your belief system. Everyone isn't morally righteous, so you can't really trust them." This lesson applies to more than the fashion/modeling industry. It's a snippet of advice I take in my business dealings as well as in the sport of pro-wrestling. It'll be a cold day in hell before anyone gets an edge on me. Kathy sighed. She knew I was telling the truth. It was just a sad truth. "And myself? Well I've been running like a chicken with his head cut off lately. As you know, Nicky's birthday is Saturday and I'm trying to make it special. He never likes to celebrate when really he has a LOT to be thankful for right now." Nick was lucky to see 25, honestly. Being one of the foreman of the Moltisanti Coalition, he dodges bullets on a daily basis...sometimes he wasn't so lucky. In fact, about 20 times he wasn't so lucky. Even during the "war" against Rafik Shabazz and the Nation (it was finally dying down but that's something you'll learn more about later), he almost lost his life. "Not to mention, things in Frontier have picked up since I last talked to you. I have to get right on the jet to Spartanburg the next morning for a show."
By this time, I had started combing her hair thinking about the busy weekend ahead. All she could do was smile. "Well you know me and some of the ladies will be there. Just warning you, Casey's going to try to eat Nicky. She's obsessed with him." I rolled my eyes thinking 'who isn't?' Nick was a guy every woman I knew wanted to be with. He knew it too and secretly loved the attention. It did get annoying at times, but he's always known what he wants in a female. The last time I checked, he hadn't found that in any girl since being in America. Me, Eric and Kenny just laugh at all of the woman who try. Nicky's probably pickier than me, and that's saying something. "But it's good to hear you're going all out for your friend. I sometimes forget you actually have a soul." Kathy laughed at the comment but I was shocked at just how much effort I've put into this party. I never go all out for anyone but myself, and I haven't even done that much lately. "And as far as the wrestling thing goes, good luck. It's easy to get hurt doing that stuff Tony..."
"You must not know 'bout me!" I said in a singing voice to reference Beyonce's "Irreplaceable." "If I was afraid of getting hurt, I wouldn't be the business virtuoso I am today. Wrestling is something that keeps me sane after delving into my world of bullshit all week." And a world of bullshit it was, indeed. I've never met a problem I didn't take on in my life. Trouble finds people like me. "I'll be fine. I just need to keep doing whatever I feel I need to in order to achieve peace. It's working slowly but surely."
Kathy slightly nodded, not wanting to interfere with what I was doing to her hair. "You know it's all about the journey moreso than the destination. You'll be fine Tony. You're always fine." I smiled, thinking if that was actually true. Maybe to someone who wasn't looking into all of the windows. I try to keep it all together in front of people, and sometimes the shield cracks.
But that's what duct tape is for.
"Uhh...I think it's on daddy." As I sit here soaking and lathered, I decided to show the world just who I am in the flesh. I had to set the mood first: Curtis Mayfield, bath beads, and a marijuana cigarette my lovely friend Conni is holding for me so it doesn't get wet.
"Well how the fuck can I know if all I see is your ass in the way?" Constance, my other friend, was in front of the webcam, setting shit up. I also had a third friend, Traci to my left, who was kind enough to join me in the tub and assist with my bath-slash-mousse treatment.
This will be an interesting change. Conni's usually on mousse duty and now she's feeling some type of way, but I don't care. "Umm...excuse me honey." Conni takes a pull of the cigarette without permission. She's been very bold as of late: talking back to me out of turn and what not. It's bordering downright rebellion. "I know you're not sitting up there with an attitude. Give me my damn joint." I snatched it out of her hands. Luckily my right hand was hanging out of the tub and still dry.
"No daddy." I nodded towards her as I took a pull. I knew she was upset, she's been fatigued for weeks. There was tension in here already because none of these "friends" are particularly fond of one another. Conni and Constance were always at odds. Traci was new, which automatically put a target on her back.
I didn't worry about it as long as everyone took care of business. Because that's what I'm all about...business. "Constance what the hell are you doing!?" She presses record then quickly moves from the laptop and there I am on the screen.
On Camera .
"Ooohh...you're just as pretty as you wanna be!" I said to myself, blowing kisses to my reflection. "Hello world. Excuse me for being a bit less than decent but today I want all of you to get a glimpse. A glimpse of the real me literally in the flesh."
Traci proceeded to dip a fluffy orange sponge in the soapy water, wringing it out over my chest. "The last time you saw Sunshine Scandalous, I was the last man standing in the 2300 arena. After defeating nine other worthless shits, I became the first entry into the 2014 Frontier Lion's Cup. Not only do I skip qualifiers, I get a bye straight to the quarter-finals at Above and Beyond III." I turn from the camera and look out in front of me, giving myself a little chuckle and sigh. "And I'm still the new guy around here." I take another toke from the cigarette and snap my fingers for Conni to take it from my hands. Looking back into the webcam, I air quote. "New guy."
"Seems to me, that ever since that horrific debut against Camellia D. Magna, I've toppled every challenge FGA has put in front of me." I raise my arm so Traci can scrub down my side. "But really it makes sense. Everyone else going into their little qualifying matches don't have to put in nearly as much work as I had to at All-Star Showdown. Aside from the fact that Filthy Philly's a tough crowd to impress in this business compared to Hicksville, USA AKA the Carolinas. The rest of you have the luxury of being in singles matches. I get it. Everyone isn't strong enough to take on nine other grapplers because everyone isn't the brightest. Everyone isn't Sunshine Tony." I roll my eyes and shake my head. "And for that, thank God there is me."
"I know that's right daddy!"
Conni accidentally blurts out, causing laughter amongst the other two ladies. This instantly kills my vibe, and they can see it on my face. "Pause it Constance." She immediately heads over to the laptop and presses pause. Some things I just can't let the world see.
Off Camera
"Um...excuse me? I thought I told ya'll hos don't be saying shit unless shit is said to you first." All three ladies stumble over their words. "Shut up before I slap the shit out of all three of you." I was over it. I eased my head back in the tub, rubbing the back of Traci's neck to let her know I wasn't really mad at her. I turned back to them. "You two get the hell out of my site, go suck off E.Rose or something. He'll keep ya busy. You bitches don't have to be all in my way of the camera anyways." I bit my bottom lip, calmed myself down and put my arms around Traci, making them even more hurt. "Hit that button before you leave Constance. I ain't done talking shit. Oh and go get me some fucking cereal, bitch. The usual Lucky Charms with Fruit Loops shit. Better have a muffin, some fruit, and a glass of OJ with that bitch too. Just like them fucking commercials, cereal is only PART of a balanced breakfast!" I let go of Traci and grabbed the remote that controls the sounds in here. I click the voice search button and yell out. "BRACHO | RICH DICE" The thingy up above sounded off and played the song (usually doesn't go that easy). I needed to set a different mood for what I wanted to get off my chest.
On Camera .
I cleared my throat and turned towards the webcam. "I'm soooo embarrassed..." Lying back, I dramatically placed my hand on my forehead. "My friends are much more well-behaved than what you just witnessed. For that, I apologize." I sat back up, lifting my foot in the air as Traci took the sponge to scrub down my leg. "Now where were we? Oh right; the Scandalous One was just saying how in his hometown of Miami, he'll prove to not only FGA but himself that he can crush this tournament." I sat Indian style and instructed Traci to scrub down my back. "But that seems so far away from now. I have a job to do in Spartanburg first." I scratch my beard, shaking my head as I think about my opponent for this weekend. "Thunderbelly." I say with a chuckle before an "ahem" trying to get serious. In my cartoon narrator voice I put my hands on my hips and look to the ceiling. "THE STOORRRMMM BEEAAARREEERRRRR" A few ridiculous sound effects later, I calm down. Traci was dying to contain her laughter.
"Yeah you're from ASSgaard, alright. I want whatever shrooms you got because I can't imagine how insane of a trip you're on. Frog boy with a big black hammer from another reality? Well I've got to hand it ya. That's pretty original...the only time I'll ever associate pretty with you. Take it as a compliment." I lean my head back, letting Traci smoothly run the sponge down my neck. She brings the sponge to one cheek while kissing me on the other. I push her off instantly, giving her a side glare.. "You're getting a little too comfortable friend." Traci nods and proceeds to scrub my back as I look to the camera. "Thunderbelly's an interesting guy. Certainly someone I have no problems squaring off against. I meeeaaannn...he WAS the guy that my..." I air quoted. "Friend' Annie wanted to win over me. Hell he was the favorite for a lot of people, and I think I know why." I cocked my head slightly to the right, letting Traci know I wanted her to scrub from my neck down the shoulders. I was getting a bath and promo in at the same time because I have tons of shit to do today, getting ready for Nicky's party. While that's been heavy on my mind since birthdays are a big deal to us; I'm just as focused if not more on the Spartanburg taping. "You people see a guy like Thunderbelly and are attracted to the mystery. You love not knowing what someone like him will do next, that element of surprise he brings to the table is something you all fiend for."
I lift back up. "Well the last time I checked, swinging hammers and talking about being from alternate universes isn't dope. Someone so strange to 'midgaard' as he calls it is very comfortable on Twitter. Give up the drugs or the act, and if it's an act it's a damn good one. As a matter of fact, I'll be happy to get you to rub elbows with some talent agents I know. You have a better chance at being the next host of Ninja Warrior than you do at being something in this business." I take a deep breath and lean back, my head lying in the middle of Traci's plump breasts. "Couldn't get the job done at All-star Showdown, now you feel you have something to prove in COMBAT!!!" I laugh with my hands folded over my soapy stomach. "Give it a rest honey child. I've done everything I said I would do since I bothered to grace this company with my voice. I ran through Rossi and Bushido. I ran through nine of you at ASS 3. This week, you're in my tracks. This train is as hot as the Sun, and you want to collide head on."
"I got a bitch giving me a bath while I'm talking my shit. This promo is borderline porn." Traci kneels up and starts licking my ear. I didn't care enough to tell her to stop even if it was slightly annoying. "You and I just aren't the same. Some people like to say that being flashy and talking shit is a sign of weakness. Is it easier to sit here in my mansion and verbally break you down...when Thunderbelly probably doesn't even have the technology to view this? Sure it is. Does that make me incapable following it up in the ring?" Once again, I sit up. "If you have to ask, you haven't been paying much attention. I'm the most multi-faceted entity in this industry; and if you don't believe me, live my life for a day. I've dedicated 23 years to being a jack of all trades. I'm not cocky because of the lifestyle, even though that would be the obvious reason. I'm the way I am because time and again, I've always ended up on top." I look down, recalling a number of situations that got me where I am today: some positive but mostly negative hardships. Looking back up, I smile into the camera. "So Thunderbelly, you can look at me and make assumptions about my culture and my nature of being. It won't save you from coming up short AGAIN at Spartanburg baby. You may think you're from another planet." I turn to Traci and whisper something in her ear. She laughs reaches her hand in the water, fishing for treasure. "This Sunday, I'm bringing you down to Earth." I was tired of talking and just wanted my dick sucked. I reached up to grab the shower curtain, veiling myself from the camera. "ONE OF YA'LL COME TURN THIS SHIT OFF!" In an instant, someone (probably Constance) came in and closed the laptop.
July 9, 2014
Miami, FL
Location: Strava Hair & Nails
Strava is the Italian word for extravagant, and that's always been me in a nutshell. That's why it's the name of my fashion line, floral shop (Formerly Sunshine Roses), and hair/nail salon. Hair & Nails in particular was my pace of zen. This is where I got away from it all, and I could pretend to be a normal tax-paying, law-abiding citizen. I am none of that anywhere outside of these walls.
Today I was seeing a long time client, Kathy. She knows the most about me out of all my clients...probably because when I met her and tried to employ her to Sophisticated Sally's. She told me she was above that type of shit while flashing her Michael Kors bag. I believed her and left it alone. Still wanted to fuck, so I told her about Strava: 10 minutes of bullshit convo (2 explaining Strava and 8 convincing her I wasn't gay) later, and I was in. The sex was terrible so I asked if we could just keep this platonic (she really thought I was gay then).
After about a year and a half, we got to know each other better. Kathy had always wanted to be a model but a modest one. I set her up with the best stock photographer. There's good money in stock images, I guess. She's the white brunette in all of those generic pictures that come with frames. You've definitely seen her around.
Waiting for her to come in I look over to Chauncey to see how he was doing with his client. I've never seen her before, and I usually knew most of everyone who came in. With my schedule being so crazy, I'm only working here 2 days out of a given week. Chauncey handles the shop while I'm away. He's an eccentric motherfucker...thinks he's Jermaine Stewart, and looks damn near like him too. "Chaunce." I swing over to him, folding my arms and leaning back against the next empty seat. "Who do we have here?" The young lady had her head tilted down as Chauncey was combing her hair.
In his overly forced high-pitched voice of flamboyance, "this is Stacey. She works at King of Diamonds. She just wants a wash and cond-ish." He stops combing and she lifts her head up. She was gorgeous. Petite but not bones, still meaty like I like them. Her skin tone was a lighter shade of cantaloupe. I love them in all different flavors, and Chauncey knew this. The woman smiled at my reflection in the mirror in front of her as Chaunce was talking to me. "Stacey's from Minnesota. She's only been in Miami for about 6 months since she started going to the U." The U was what everyone around here referred Miami University as.
I was smiling right back at her, couldn't help but admire her natural beauty. It didn't look like she was wearing a smidget of makeup. Being in the cosmetics industry, I can distinguish between the "no makeup look" and when a female is actually wearing no makeup. "So Stacey, where are your parents from?"
A small chuckle was released as if she was dying for me to talk to her directly. Chauncey gently pulled her hair back into the bin attached to the seat. In her soft sweet voice, "well my mother's from Puerto Rico and so is my father but we've never met." Just the trainwreck mess I love. "I don't really know anyone here, it's tough ya know?"
I sat in the seat next to them, looking up to notice Chauncey snickering. He's seen this play out tons of times the very exact same way. "I understand honey. You need someone who can take you in and adapt you to this society." I take her hand, just as delicate as I imagined it would be. "Miami is an entire different world from Minnesota, I don't think you need me to tell you that. You probably have seen it already. But have no more fears. Baby, I can guide you in a way your father never could. That's why he walked out on you. Sunshine Tony is what they call me, and I can bring you to the light."
"Umm...you'll be my..."
"Friend. Yes. Yes I will." I kissed her hand and suddenly the bells from the door started to sound off to signify someone was coming in. Looking up, I find myself cheesing. Kathy is just as glowing as ever. With a new Michael Kors bag hand, she takes off her shades and swings her hair as she folds her arms. I reach onto Chauncey's work station, pulling out a card with my number on it. I hand it over to Stacey who giggles as she stuffs the card in between her breasts. "We'll chat later sweetie. Take care of her Chancey."
"Oh you know I will."
Patting Chaunce on the shoulders, I stand from the seat and wave to Kathy. "Ohhh emmm geeeee....look at how goooorrrrgeous you are hun!!" Kathy blushes as I walk over to her at the front counter. We greet each other with kisses on the cheek that don't actually touch. I step back admiring her look. "Is that a new dress? It surely looks familiar..."
"Indeed it is Antonio. Just picked it up from your boutique in Little Havana." Kathy twirls around to show it off. It's a piece I just designed not too long ago. I had no idea the ladies at the fabrics department had already started making the look. She drops the Dolce & Gabbana shades in her purse before slipping the bag off. The southern drawl in her accent was riveting to say the least. "I have a movie premiere later on tonight but the sun and humidity's been really messing my hair up. It has no bounce no more."
Kathy puts a pouty face on. I lightly pinch her cheeks, mocking her facial expression. "Child, you know I can fix that. Quick, fast and in a hurry." I turn my head to Chauncey. "Chaunce, when does Kathy EVER leave the studio NOT looking like a million bucks and thirteen cents?" He turns around and snaps his fingers in the air.
"Boy please! She's always looking fabulous on the runway." I shrug my shoulders. Kathy laughs before making her way to my chair. She took a seat, playing with the bottom of her hair. I've always loved playing hair. It was so fascinating to me how different it could be for different types of people. I've never been to beauty school but my mother was big into cosmetics, and I would I always makeup mannequins with her as a child. It's one of those things that separated me from the rest; and as you might imagine, it made for great jokes in school. That all stopped in college when guys saw that me doing hair was leading me to fuck some of the hottest chicks around.
To this day, my hair & nail studio gets me into the panties of Miami's most elite: models, actresses, pageant winners, fashion designers, etc. People can think I'm gay all they want. You name the industry, I was in the social circle somehow. "I just have these split ends and I'm losing volume." Kathy knew I was the goto man in this city of just about everything.
"Well I'm like Sam from Holes. I can fix that." I knew she would get the reference because Holes is a movie/book we'd talk about occasionally. Always a huge Shia Labeouf and Sigourney Weaver fan, Holes is one of my favorite movies. Hands down. I chuckle thinking about some of the scenes in it. "Girl you know I will never let you down. So how are things?"
She sticks her tongue out at me through the mirror reflection. "Blah. You know it's the same ol' same ol'. Modeling is really getting big here in Miami, so it's getting competitive. It can get stressful." She gives a giggle before shrugging. "You told me best. It's cutthroat out here. How's everything going with you?"
"That's right." I say as I start to run my fingers through her hair, taking out any tangles. "You have to be prepared for the worst. I was always taught that everyone doesn't share your belief system. Everyone isn't morally righteous, so you can't really trust them." This lesson applies to more than the fashion/modeling industry. It's a snippet of advice I take in my business dealings as well as in the sport of pro-wrestling. It'll be a cold day in hell before anyone gets an edge on me. Kathy sighed. She knew I was telling the truth. It was just a sad truth. "And myself? Well I've been running like a chicken with his head cut off lately. As you know, Nicky's birthday is Saturday and I'm trying to make it special. He never likes to celebrate when really he has a LOT to be thankful for right now." Nick was lucky to see 25, honestly. Being one of the foreman of the Moltisanti Coalition, he dodges bullets on a daily basis...sometimes he wasn't so lucky. In fact, about 20 times he wasn't so lucky. Even during the "war" against Rafik Shabazz and the Nation (it was finally dying down but that's something you'll learn more about later), he almost lost his life. "Not to mention, things in Frontier have picked up since I last talked to you. I have to get right on the jet to Spartanburg the next morning for a show."
By this time, I had started combing her hair thinking about the busy weekend ahead. All she could do was smile. "Well you know me and some of the ladies will be there. Just warning you, Casey's going to try to eat Nicky. She's obsessed with him." I rolled my eyes thinking 'who isn't?' Nick was a guy every woman I knew wanted to be with. He knew it too and secretly loved the attention. It did get annoying at times, but he's always known what he wants in a female. The last time I checked, he hadn't found that in any girl since being in America. Me, Eric and Kenny just laugh at all of the woman who try. Nicky's probably pickier than me, and that's saying something. "But it's good to hear you're going all out for your friend. I sometimes forget you actually have a soul." Kathy laughed at the comment but I was shocked at just how much effort I've put into this party. I never go all out for anyone but myself, and I haven't even done that much lately. "And as far as the wrestling thing goes, good luck. It's easy to get hurt doing that stuff Tony..."
"You must not know 'bout me!" I said in a singing voice to reference Beyonce's "Irreplaceable." "If I was afraid of getting hurt, I wouldn't be the business virtuoso I am today. Wrestling is something that keeps me sane after delving into my world of bullshit all week." And a world of bullshit it was, indeed. I've never met a problem I didn't take on in my life. Trouble finds people like me. "I'll be fine. I just need to keep doing whatever I feel I need to in order to achieve peace. It's working slowly but surely."
Kathy slightly nodded, not wanting to interfere with what I was doing to her hair. "You know it's all about the journey moreso than the destination. You'll be fine Tony. You're always fine." I smiled, thinking if that was actually true. Maybe to someone who wasn't looking into all of the windows. I try to keep it all together in front of people, and sometimes the shield cracks.
But that's what duct tape is for.
"Uhh...I think it's on daddy." As I sit here soaking and lathered, I decided to show the world just who I am in the flesh. I had to set the mood first: Curtis Mayfield, bath beads, and a marijuana cigarette my lovely friend Conni is holding for me so it doesn't get wet.
"Well how the fuck can I know if all I see is your ass in the way?" Constance, my other friend, was in front of the webcam, setting shit up. I also had a third friend, Traci to my left, who was kind enough to join me in the tub and assist with my bath-slash-mousse treatment.
This will be an interesting change. Conni's usually on mousse duty and now she's feeling some type of way, but I don't care. "Umm...excuse me honey." Conni takes a pull of the cigarette without permission. She's been very bold as of late: talking back to me out of turn and what not. It's bordering downright rebellion. "I know you're not sitting up there with an attitude. Give me my damn joint." I snatched it out of her hands. Luckily my right hand was hanging out of the tub and still dry.
"No daddy." I nodded towards her as I took a pull. I knew she was upset, she's been fatigued for weeks. There was tension in here already because none of these "friends" are particularly fond of one another. Conni and Constance were always at odds. Traci was new, which automatically put a target on her back.
I didn't worry about it as long as everyone took care of business. Because that's what I'm all about...business. "Constance what the hell are you doing!?" She presses record then quickly moves from the laptop and there I am on the screen.
On Camera .
"Ooohh...you're just as pretty as you wanna be!" I said to myself, blowing kisses to my reflection. "Hello world. Excuse me for being a bit less than decent but today I want all of you to get a glimpse. A glimpse of the real me literally in the flesh."
Traci proceeded to dip a fluffy orange sponge in the soapy water, wringing it out over my chest. "The last time you saw Sunshine Scandalous, I was the last man standing in the 2300 arena. After defeating nine other worthless shits, I became the first entry into the 2014 Frontier Lion's Cup. Not only do I skip qualifiers, I get a bye straight to the quarter-finals at Above and Beyond III." I turn from the camera and look out in front of me, giving myself a little chuckle and sigh. "And I'm still the new guy around here." I take another toke from the cigarette and snap my fingers for Conni to take it from my hands. Looking back into the webcam, I air quote. "New guy."
"Seems to me, that ever since that horrific debut against Camellia D. Magna, I've toppled every challenge FGA has put in front of me." I raise my arm so Traci can scrub down my side. "But really it makes sense. Everyone else going into their little qualifying matches don't have to put in nearly as much work as I had to at All-Star Showdown. Aside from the fact that Filthy Philly's a tough crowd to impress in this business compared to Hicksville, USA AKA the Carolinas. The rest of you have the luxury of being in singles matches. I get it. Everyone isn't strong enough to take on nine other grapplers because everyone isn't the brightest. Everyone isn't Sunshine Tony." I roll my eyes and shake my head. "And for that, thank God there is me."
"I know that's right daddy!"
Conni accidentally blurts out, causing laughter amongst the other two ladies. This instantly kills my vibe, and they can see it on my face. "Pause it Constance." She immediately heads over to the laptop and presses pause. Some things I just can't let the world see.
Off Camera
"Um...excuse me? I thought I told ya'll hos don't be saying shit unless shit is said to you first." All three ladies stumble over their words. "Shut up before I slap the shit out of all three of you." I was over it. I eased my head back in the tub, rubbing the back of Traci's neck to let her know I wasn't really mad at her. I turned back to them. "You two get the hell out of my site, go suck off E.Rose or something. He'll keep ya busy. You bitches don't have to be all in my way of the camera anyways." I bit my bottom lip, calmed myself down and put my arms around Traci, making them even more hurt. "Hit that button before you leave Constance. I ain't done talking shit. Oh and go get me some fucking cereal, bitch. The usual Lucky Charms with Fruit Loops shit. Better have a muffin, some fruit, and a glass of OJ with that bitch too. Just like them fucking commercials, cereal is only PART of a balanced breakfast!" I let go of Traci and grabbed the remote that controls the sounds in here. I click the voice search button and yell out. "BRACHO | RICH DICE" The thingy up above sounded off and played the song (usually doesn't go that easy). I needed to set a different mood for what I wanted to get off my chest.
On Camera .
I cleared my throat and turned towards the webcam. "I'm soooo embarrassed..." Lying back, I dramatically placed my hand on my forehead. "My friends are much more well-behaved than what you just witnessed. For that, I apologize." I sat back up, lifting my foot in the air as Traci took the sponge to scrub down my leg. "Now where were we? Oh right; the Scandalous One was just saying how in his hometown of Miami, he'll prove to not only FGA but himself that he can crush this tournament." I sat Indian style and instructed Traci to scrub down my back. "But that seems so far away from now. I have a job to do in Spartanburg first." I scratch my beard, shaking my head as I think about my opponent for this weekend. "Thunderbelly." I say with a chuckle before an "ahem" trying to get serious. In my cartoon narrator voice I put my hands on my hips and look to the ceiling. "THE STOORRRMMM BEEAAARREEERRRRR" A few ridiculous sound effects later, I calm down. Traci was dying to contain her laughter.
"Yeah you're from ASSgaard, alright. I want whatever shrooms you got because I can't imagine how insane of a trip you're on. Frog boy with a big black hammer from another reality? Well I've got to hand it ya. That's pretty original...the only time I'll ever associate pretty with you. Take it as a compliment." I lean my head back, letting Traci smoothly run the sponge down my neck. She brings the sponge to one cheek while kissing me on the other. I push her off instantly, giving her a side glare.. "You're getting a little too comfortable friend." Traci nods and proceeds to scrub my back as I look to the camera. "Thunderbelly's an interesting guy. Certainly someone I have no problems squaring off against. I meeeaaannn...he WAS the guy that my..." I air quoted. "Friend' Annie wanted to win over me. Hell he was the favorite for a lot of people, and I think I know why." I cocked my head slightly to the right, letting Traci know I wanted her to scrub from my neck down the shoulders. I was getting a bath and promo in at the same time because I have tons of shit to do today, getting ready for Nicky's party. While that's been heavy on my mind since birthdays are a big deal to us; I'm just as focused if not more on the Spartanburg taping. "You people see a guy like Thunderbelly and are attracted to the mystery. You love not knowing what someone like him will do next, that element of surprise he brings to the table is something you all fiend for."
I lift back up. "Well the last time I checked, swinging hammers and talking about being from alternate universes isn't dope. Someone so strange to 'midgaard' as he calls it is very comfortable on Twitter. Give up the drugs or the act, and if it's an act it's a damn good one. As a matter of fact, I'll be happy to get you to rub elbows with some talent agents I know. You have a better chance at being the next host of Ninja Warrior than you do at being something in this business." I take a deep breath and lean back, my head lying in the middle of Traci's plump breasts. "Couldn't get the job done at All-star Showdown, now you feel you have something to prove in COMBAT!!!" I laugh with my hands folded over my soapy stomach. "Give it a rest honey child. I've done everything I said I would do since I bothered to grace this company with my voice. I ran through Rossi and Bushido. I ran through nine of you at ASS 3. This week, you're in my tracks. This train is as hot as the Sun, and you want to collide head on."
"I got a bitch giving me a bath while I'm talking my shit. This promo is borderline porn." Traci kneels up and starts licking my ear. I didn't care enough to tell her to stop even if it was slightly annoying. "You and I just aren't the same. Some people like to say that being flashy and talking shit is a sign of weakness. Is it easier to sit here in my mansion and verbally break you down...when Thunderbelly probably doesn't even have the technology to view this? Sure it is. Does that make me incapable following it up in the ring?" Once again, I sit up. "If you have to ask, you haven't been paying much attention. I'm the most multi-faceted entity in this industry; and if you don't believe me, live my life for a day. I've dedicated 23 years to being a jack of all trades. I'm not cocky because of the lifestyle, even though that would be the obvious reason. I'm the way I am because time and again, I've always ended up on top." I look down, recalling a number of situations that got me where I am today: some positive but mostly negative hardships. Looking back up, I smile into the camera. "So Thunderbelly, you can look at me and make assumptions about my culture and my nature of being. It won't save you from coming up short AGAIN at Spartanburg baby. You may think you're from another planet." I turn to Traci and whisper something in her ear. She laughs reaches her hand in the water, fishing for treasure. "This Sunday, I'm bringing you down to Earth." I was tired of talking and just wanted my dick sucked. I reached up to grab the shower curtain, veiling myself from the camera. "ONE OF YA'LL COME TURN THIS SHIT OFF!" In an instant, someone (probably Constance) came in and closed the laptop.