SANCTIONED FIGHT
Evan Envi vs. Ricky Valero
Our camera fades in, capturing a sweeping shot of the
ill-advised capacity crowd inside the Rogers Arena.
J.A. Aldridge: Ladies and gentlemen… up next is an UNSANCTIONED FIGHT.
The audience erupts at the announcement, many springing to their feet in anticipation!
J.A. Aldridge: First, please welcome… “The Franchise” … the self-proclaimed “King of Wrestling” … “The
Good Guy”...
RICKYYYYY VAAAAALEEEERO! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
“Amazing” by Kanye West hits, lifting the fans to their feet in a fit of rage. White and pink strobe lights start to flash throughout the arena.
It's amazing
I'm the reason
Everybody fired up this evening
I'm exhausted
Barely breathing
Holding on to what I believe in
No matter what
You'll never take that from me
My reign is as far as your eyes can seeRicky Valero emerges from the back amidst a cloud of fog. With that trademark smirk stretched across his face, he scans the arena with hubris. Dressed in a pair of black jeans and boots as opposed to his wrestling trunks, Valero puts his legs together, extends his arms outward, throws his head back and basks in the building’s negative energy. We see a referee trailing behind Valero, lingering just out of the traveling spotlight as Valero’s entrance continues.
It's amazin', so amazin', so amazin', so amazin', it's amazin'
So amazin', so amazin', so amazin', it's amazin' (Let's go)He makes his way toward the ring intentionally ignoring the outstretched hands of front row fans along his route. He circles the ring, before reaching the far corner. Slowly he climbs up the steps and leans his back against the ropes, bouncing against them a few times with his arms wrapped over top of them before slipping into the ring. The referee spotted earlier waits patiently at ringside.
I'm a monster
I'm a killer
I know I'm wrong, yeah
I'm a problem
That'll never
Ever be solved
And no matter what
You'll never take that from me
My reign is as far as your eyes can see
Kris Cruise: Listen to this place. There is absolutely no love for the Franchise. This man turned his back on his so-called best friend and put him on the shelf back in October because… he felt the Chief was holding him back. He didn’t like the connections that Evan Envi was making. He didn’t like the way Evan Envi behaved in front of the camera. Valero’s entitled to his opinion and that is absolutely fine, but in my eyes, and in the eyes of these fans here in Vancouver, it’s no justification for the brutal assault that Evan suffered. Envi was concussed; his nose was broken, and his jaw was wired shut for over two months. We didn’t know if he was ever coming back. Say what you will about Evan Envi, but no competitor deserves that.
Stephy Auger: Look. I’m not saying I would’ve done what Ricky did.
Buuut it already happened! I thought you were progressive. What’s done is done and I’m willing to look past some of his actions and pay respect to the brilliant competitor gracing us right now!
Kris Cruise: ...shocking…
Stephy Auger: All I’m saying is, we don’t have to pretend that Ricky doesn’t deserve the spotlight, Cruise. How long can we blatantly undervalue one of the most talented Grapplers on the roster?!
Ricky spins around in the center of the ring with his arms extended out, absorbing the crowd's disdain. He walks towards the ropes on the far side of the ring and simply smiles. The music slowly quiets down as Ricky turns and leans against the ropes closest to the entranceway, demanding a microphone from the ref that followed him to the ring.
BUMP! BUMP! BUMP! BUMP! BUMP! BUMP! BUMP! BUMP!The sound echoes throughout the arena as Valero raps his knuckles against the top of the microphone in an effort to hush the raucous crowd. Boos rain down on him regardless, however, earning a chuckle from the Good Guy.
Ricky Valero: Look. I don’t think I’m shocking
anybody when I say that this, uh… “unsanctioned fight” that FGA decided to brilliantly advertise to you is
not going to happen.
“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Ricky Valero: Don’t boo
me. I’m not the one that sold you people this match. In fact, I was BLATANTLY against it! I never wanted to come out here and end Evan Envi’s career, and that’s what FGA management wanted me to do. That’s what
you people wanted me to do, despite the fact that Evan Envi, as of forty-eight hours ago, was nowhere near being medically cleared for competition. And as far as I can tell…
Ricky gestures to the ramp.
Ricky Valero: Evan didn’t even make it here tonight!
Though this comment earns boos from many in the audience, its nature leaves many in the fans deflated. Hushed. Valero chuckles a little, winking.
Ricky Valero: Ahh, yeahh, didn’t like
that news, did you? Reality really sucks, doesn’t it? The REALITY is that Evan Envi can barely walk straight. The REALITY is that Evan Envi’s body is depleted from being bedridden, from spending every waking second of the past five months in
pain and
nausea. But… the reality… is that Evan Envi is a stubborn man. And even though he’s not here tonight, I know he’s gonna try to come at me in the future. He’s already got this IDEA in his head that he has to do to me what I did to him.
Scoff.
Ricky Valero: But he won’t.
Ricky shakes his head, looking toward the hard camera, smiling bitterly.
Ricky Valero: He won’t do that. Because he can’t do that. I will
never allow it.
“EVAN ENVI!”
“EVAN ENVI!”
“EVAN ENVI!”
“EVAN ENVI!”
Valero rolls his eyes away from the camera, gesturing to the official standing at ringside as he continues to pace.
Ricky Valero: “No match? Ricky, why’d you drag the ref out here then?” I’ll tell you why. Because when that referee announces that, by way of a forfeit, I am the winner of this match-- sanctioned by FGA or not-- Evan Envi has no
right to ask me for anything. Not a brawl. Not a fight. Not an arm wrestling match. Not a thumb war. Not even the dignity of eye contact on camera. Evan Envi is effectively BANNED from the life of “The Good Guy” Ricky Valero from here on out. And thank God, because we can finally move onto the things that really matter, and that’s--
“Helter Skelter” by the Beatles blares against the PA system. The audience erupts, with every head swiveling toward the entranceway as the familiar multicolored strobes dance through the Rogers Arena! Ricky looks toward the ramp, mouth hanging slightly open in mid-speech.
Kris Cruise: Welp!
Valero shouts at the referee, audibly demanding to know what’s going on, but the referee merely shrugs as he walks up the steps and enters the ring. Valero runs his hands down his face in frustration, pacing back and forth in the center of the ring. He turns, preparing to shout something else at the official, but his words are drowned out as the audience erupts once more upon the sight of Evan Envi, slowly stepping out to the top of the ramp, dressed in a blacked-out version of his wrestling tights, and the familiar black Good Guys t-shirt which simply reads “DO GOOD.”
Kris Cruise: Looks like he’s walking just fine to me.
Stephy Auger: Evan, it’s not too late! Turn back! Save yourself!
The Chief gazes out into the masses within the Rogers Arena, nodding softly to himself… before his eyes lower to the ring, locking on Ricky Valero.
Kris Cruise: For two years, Ricky Valero and Evan Envi have helped each other and guided one another to absolute megastardom. With Ricky Valero as his manager, as his confidant, and his tag team partner, Evan captured his first career World Championship after eleven years of fighting and clawing--
Stephy Auger: And what does Ricky have to show for it?
Nothing, Cruise. Evan would’ve never reached the heights he did without Ricky Valero, but once he got there and got comfortable, he treated Ricky like a nuisance! Ricky had to take second and third place to people like Kazu Hirano and Fujiko Mine. He didn’t deserve that!
Kris Cruise: I think you both have an equally distorted recollection of events.
Envi stays planted at the top of the ramp, staring back down toward the pacing, seething Ricky Valero. In contrast to Ricky’s beet-red face, Evan’s look is one of contemplation-- if not sadness. His hands are clenched into fists at his sides, but visibly shaking. He mumbles to himself under his breath, staring down at Valero with a look of determination. Valero steps back to the center of the ring, gesturing for Evan to join him. Envi slowly takes step by step down the ramp, taking in deep breaths. He’s evidently blind to the outstretched hands hanging over the barrier on either side of him.
Stephy Auger: Look into the eyes of the Chief, Cruise. He’s a broken man! Even if his legs weren’t jelly and his brains weren’t scrambled, you think he’d come out here with the fire and the hatred necessary to take down the Franchise?! No! Evan is walking into a losing battle here, no matter which angle you look at it from!
Evan comes to a stop in front of the ring. He doesn’t look up at the eyes of Ricky Valero, but rather at his boots. Evan’s gaze is blank; distant.
Stephy Auger: See? He’s having second thoughts!
Shaking his head slightly, Evan turns, slowly dragging his feet back toward the ramp to a frustrated groan from the audience-- and a knowing chuckle from Valero inside the ring.
Stephy Auger: He came all the way out here just to forfeit! He could’ve done that from the back! He should’ve--!
In a blink, Evan pivots and turns, darting into the ring! He slides in beneath the bottom rope and springs to his feet. Valero takes a single step back-- and he’s immediately taken to the canvas courtesy of a Thesz Press! Evan unloads with wild, uncalculated closed fists down to the head and neck of his former tag team partner!
Kris Cruise: SECONDS THOUGHTS MY ASS! EVAN ENVI IS UNLOADING!
Valero scrambles to his feet, half-stumbling, half-running away from the Chief, but he finds himself in the corner! Ricky turns, raising his arms to get his guard up, but Envi hammers away with kicks to the legs, followed by knee strikes to the stomach, followed by the ribs, then the chest! Valero loses his balance, finding himself wedged in the corner as Evan drives his knee against his throat, pinning Valero awkwardly against the middle turnbuckle!
Stephy Auger: Ref!
Ref, this is a choke!
Kris Cruise: It doesn’t matter, Stephy! There are no rules! I don’t even think this match has officially starte…
DING!Kris Cruise: --and there it is! Rules be damned, record-books be damned, this thing is underway and there’s no turning back now!
Valero slowly drags his face down the turnbuckle, popping free from the choke as he slips between the middle and bottom rope! Ricky grabs a hold of the ring skirt, dragging himself out of the ring! Envi stands on Valero’s leg with one foot, using the other to stomp viciously into his back! Valero howls out in agony, dragging himself and Evan to the ropes! Valero slides out to the apron while Envi is stopped by the ropes. Evan drops down, grabbing Valero’s right ankle before he can throw himself out-- and with a cry, Evan locks in the Ankle Lock!
Kris Cruise: The Chief isn’t letting Ricky go anywhere! Valero is dangling from the ring right now, trapped in a deathgrip Ankle Lock!
Valero frantically flails, trying to get his hands on the floor… and Envi drops down to a seated position, locking in a grapevine on Valero’s leg! Evan twists the Ankle Lock violently, throwing himself from side to side while Valero howls in pain, reaching out for anything, but finding nothing!
Stephy Auger: He’s-- he’s gonna snap his ankle!
Kris Cruise: At least.
Stephy Auger: Wha-- listen to yourself! This is a man’s livelihood we’re talking about, you monster!
Envi cries out, visibly straining to maintain the two hundred and twenty-seven pounds of Ricky Valero! Gravity brings Valero inevitably to the ground and Evan against the bottom rope, forced to break his grip! Valero drops to the ground and rolls away to the barricade, clutching at his ankle. Hurriedly, he tries to pull his boot off-- but Envi quickly slides out of the ring beneath the bottom rope and charges Valero, delivering a soccer kick to his ribcage! Valero rolls onto his side, but Envi hauls back and kicks him a second time! A third! A fourth! Fifth! Sixth! Seventh! Eighth! Ninth! Tenth!
Stephy Auger: Why, God?!
Finally, Envi stumbles backwards, catching his breath as he leans against the apron…
...and then he charges forward again, stomping relentlessly at the writhing body of Ricky Valero! Chants of
“YES!” thunder through the Rogers Arena!
Stephy Auger: These people in Vancouver are just as sadistic as you are! I hope the ref makes a judgment call here!
Kris Cruise: The popular opinion is that Ricky’s getting
exactly as he deserves, Stephy. And the referee isn’t here to make a judgment call. He’s here to count a pinfall inside the ring or any type of submission-- whether physical or verbal. Beyond that, his only function is to acknowledge to the timekeeper if one of these two Grapplers is absolutely incapacitated;
absolutely unable to continue.
Envi rips Valero to his feet, holding him by the base of the neck-- before swinging him spine-first into the edge of the ring apron! Valero cries out, staggering forward into a Snap Suplex that sends his legs into the barricade and his neck-and-shoulders into the ground! Valero clutches at his head, attempting to bring his deadweight groundward as Envi goes to pull him up again. This time, the Chief wraps a hand around Valero’s throat, forcing him upright, backfirst against the barricade-- and Valero throws a thumb up, gouging Evan’s eye!
Stephy Auger: Hah! There ya go!
“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Boos resonate through Vancouver as Envi stumbles back, throwing a hand over his face in pain. Valero heaves, breathing heavily as he rests against the barricade, waiting for Evan to turn around… and once the Chief does, Valero delivers a Jumping Corkscrew Roundhouse Knee to the face, sending Evan sprawling to the ground to another deafening chorus of boos! Valero lands on the floor next to him, but slaps the ground in frustration, reaching down to massage his right ankle.
Stephy Auger: Dream Street!
Kris Cruise: Valero just bought himself some space, and more importantly, some
time but Evan came in here like a house afire and just did a number on his right ankle and leg. Ricky’s definitely hurting.
Valero pulls himself upright, stretching his right leg while Envi rolls onto his stomach, trying to gather his bearings. Valero makes his way over to the timekeeper, grabbing the bell hammer off the table in front of him. The audience groans as Valero brandishes the hammer and walks back over to the stirring Chief. Valero stands over Evan, raising the hammer above his head as a groggy Envi pulls himself up, back turned to his former partner.
Kris Cruise: Ricky Valero has horrible intentions! He said he didn’t want to end Evan’s career but I think he’s full of--!
CRACK!Envi hits Valero with a Pele Kick before he can strike! Valero drops the hammer, clutching the side of his face as he staggers backwards. Envi rolls through and pulls himself to his feet next to Valero, only to take him to the ground with a Russian Leg Sweep! Upon impact, Envi floats over on top of Valero and unloads with a flurry of rights and lefts!
Kris Cruise: Right back to the relentless assault!
This time, Valero grabs Envi by either side of his head and pulls him into a sharp headbutt! The audience groans again and Envi, stunned, rolls off of Valero, holding a palm to his forehead as Valero hurriedly crawls away, making his way under the ring!
Kris Cruise: That headbutt,
ugh. It was cold. It was callous-- you could hear it!
Stephy Auger: These are dark times, Cruise, and Ricky is doing what he needs to do. I hope he’s okay!
Kris Cruise: And now he’s making a run for it, but Evan’s back up to his feet!
As Valero begins to crawl under the ring, Evan grabs a hold of his right foot and pulls him into an Ankle Lock for the second time! The audience roars in approval and Envi takes a stride back, dragging Ricky out from beneath the ring. Ricky rolls onto his side best he can-- but as he’s dragged into plain view, we see he’s holding onto a kendo stick with a white-knuckle grip! He swings as hard as he can, catching Evan across the wrists with a
CRACK! Evan tenses, but doesn’t release his hold until a second swing from the stick! A second
CRACK! seconds wood splinters flying through the air and finally, Envi breaks the hold, one of his hands falling away!
CRACK!Another shot to the wrist and Envi releases Valero completely! Valero rises to his knees, swinging at Envi again, catching him across the thighs!
CRACK! Then the abdomen!
CRACK! Another shot catches Evan across the ribs!
CRACK! Then another as Valero reaches his feet!
CRACK! Boos resonate through the Rogers Arena again as Valero rears back and unloads with another shot, catching Evan across his heart!
CRACK!Kris Cruise: Shot after shot!
Stephy Auger: And each one’s louder than the one that came before it!
CRACK! A shot to the shoulder!
CRACK! A shot to the ribs!
CRACK--!Evan blocks a shot to his skull by raising both hands. He winces as the kendo stick connects with his palms, but his eyes meet Valero’s-- and he rips the stick aside, throwing it to the ground! In the same motion, Valero delivers a thunderous right hand to Evan’s jaw! Evan staggers and Valero follows up with a running boot, catching the Chief between the eyes! Evan hits the ground and rolls head-over-heels! He shoots up to a knee, right into a standing headscissors from the prepared Valero, who hoists him up-- and charges, launching him into the ring post with a Running Release Powerbomb!
Stephy Auger: PERFECT! Praise the adaptability of this man! No buckle for your Buckle Bomb? Use the ring post!
Envi pounds a fist against the floor in agony. Valero grabs him immediately by the back of his shirt, swinging him into the ring beneath the bottom rope! Valero crawls after Evan, yelling for the ref to get into position!
Kris Cruise: Ricky’s telling the ref to get ready to count. We’re about to see the first pinfall attempt of the match!
Ricky dives across Envi’s upper-body and the ref counts!
ONE
.
.
Kickout!Envi shoves Valero off and slides out from beneath him. Ricky crawls after him and goes to hook Evan’s leg, but the Chief immediately traps Ricky’s left arm and forces him onto his stomach, locking in a Crossface! Ricky’s eyes widen and he uses his right arm to pry at Envi’s fingers to no avail! Emphatic chants of
“TAP!” quickly echo throughout the venue!
Stephy Auger: RICKY, NO!
Kris Cruise: Valero let his guard down and now he’s caught in the BPA!
Fingers locked, jaw clenched, Evan leans back as far as he can with the Crossface! Valero cries out in pain, but emphatically shouts
“NO!” as the referee asks if he’ll submit! Valero digs his elbow and knee into the canvas, crawling-- but Envi abandons the face lock and instead reaches across Ricky’s back, pulling his right arm into an Armbar as well, bending it behind Valero’s body!
Kris Cruise: The Chief just transitioned into his own version of the Rings of Saturn! Valero’s very familiar with this hold after his battles with Jillian Clay and the Saturnian Connection!
The audience chants for Valero to
“TAP!”, now shouting at the tops of their lungs as Valero howls out in agony in the hold! Valero squirms, trying to rock himself into a position that gives him leverage, but Envi casually changes his positioning on the hold, pulling Valero’s arm into an angle that looks as if his flesh is being pulled from his shoulder! Valero cries out, but shakes his head when asked again if he’ll submit! Envi releases his grip on Valero’s left arm and slowly pushes himself to his feet, still keeping Valero’s arm pulled snugly behind the back of his own body!
Stephy Auger: What the hell is he…
Forcing Valero onto his sides and both of his arms behind his back, Envi pins Valero’s hands to the mat with his left foot… before relentlessly stomping across the shoulders and neck of Valero with the other!
Stephy Auger: NO!Kris Cruise: Oh my God!
After the fifth stomp, Valero manages to wrench his right arm free. For good measure, Envi stomps down on his left hand a second time, then third! Valero rolls into a seated position, holding his hands under his arms-- and Envi races forward, delivering a thunderous soccer kick to the left side of Valero’s head! Ricky’s eyes roll into the back of his head as he slowly falls onto his side. Envi paces the ring, seething, clenching and unclenching his fists as the audience reaches a fever pitch.
Kris Cruise: This-- this is a dismantling.
Valero breathes heavily, trying to push himself upright on the mat, but he gasps in pain, unable to support his weight on his hands… and another cry escapes his mouth as Envi walks forward, stomping down on Valero’s fingers again! Immediately, Valero throws himself to his knees and strikes out at Envi in rage, but Envi strides back, then forward again with a knee strike under the jaw! Valero’s head snaps back and spit flies into the ether. Envi grabs a hold of Valero’s wrist and pulls him upright and into an Exploder Suplex, throwing him overhead. Envi sits up, taking deep breaths as he slowly pulls himself up.
Kris Cruise: The Chief is looking to calm himself down a bit here, and that could be a wise move. These strikes are uncalculated. They have no rhyme or reason, and he’s not focused on wearing down any one specific part of Ricky Valero. I know he wants to punish the person that betrayed him, but at the end of the night, he doesn’t want to lose this match.
Valero gingerly uses the ropes to pull himself up, wincing each time his fingers close around the ropes. Before he can turn around, Envi races forward, hooking him in a Straightjacket Hold-- before launching him up-and-over with a Release Straightjacket Suplex, sending Valero roughly onto the back of his head and neck! Valero shoots upright, but Envi follows up with a Half-Nelson Suplex-- before dragging him upright and following up with another Half-Nelson Suplex, this time releasing Valero! Valero lands head-and-neck first again before bounces onto his stomach! Slowly, he rolls onto his back, mouth open in a silent “O” of pain. Envi runs a hand down his face, muttering to himself as he paces back and forth on the far side of the ring.
Stephy Auger: Look-- if Envi was ever,
ever a real friend to Ricky, he would call this off now! He didn’t come here for a match! He didn’t even come here for a fight! He came here to try to maim Ricky Valero. How is this right?! What must Keke be thinking?!
Valero climbs up to a knee, holding his hands up to Envi. Breathlessly, Valero asks Envi for a break. He places his hands together, begging for
“just a moment, PLEASE” before turning to the referee, demanding a microphone. The ref shrugs, telling Valero that it isn’t his job-- but Valero insists and the referee begrudgingly retrieves the mic Valero dropped earlier, handing it to him.
Valero breathes heavily into the mic while Envi continues to pace on the far side of the ring, staring at him, unflinching, unblinking.
Ricky Valero: Evan. Please. Look, I--
CRACK!The shot echoes throughout the arena as Envi blasts Valero with a Super Kick to the jaw!
Stephy Auger: Are you kidding me?! I thought they were about to have a moment!
Kris Cruise: Envi wanted none of it! What a kick!
Valero flops onto his back and the microphone rolls out of his hand. Envi steps through the ropes and out to the apron, eyes locked on Valero as he ascends to the top rope, earning a roar from the crowd. He stands upright, steadying himself before leaping from the top for the 450 Splash!
Kris Cruise: Helter Skelter!
...but Valero gets his knees up! Envi crashes hard onto the knees of Valero and howls in pain! Valero grabs Envi and rolls him into a tight Inside Cradle! The referee slides into position and Valero grabs a handful of pants for leverage!
ONE
.
.
.
.
TWO
.
.
.
.
THRE-!
Envi pops out of the pinning predicament to a roar from Vancouver!
Kris Cruise: Ricky almost stole it! Could you imagine what that would feel like for the Chief after everything he’s gone through?!
In a second, both men are back to their feet. Envi swings at Ricky, but “the Franchise” hits the canvas and slides out of harm’s way. Envi hops to his feet and races to the ropes, looking to swing through the middle and second to hit Ricky with a Wrecking Ball Dropkick, but Valero side-steps! As Envi lands, Valero races forward, looking for a knee strike, but Envi side-steps! He grabs Valero’s arm and twists it behind him, looking to hit a Hammerlock Back Suplex on the outside-- but Valero rolls through, landing on his feet before shoving Envi forward! The Chief collides face-first with the steel ring post!
Kris Cruise: Again, a shot to the head! Envi just came back from a concussion!
Stephy Auger: Yeah, Ricky is fully aware.
Disoriented, Envi stumbles back as Valero reaches his feet again-- before delivering the leg-hook Belly-to-Back Suplex, driving Envi down onto the bottom of the steel ramp!
Stephy Auger: Phew. Sweet justice.
Kris Cruise: Evan Envi just took every single bit of that PinnaclePlex on the outside! Right on the foot of that steel ramp!
Ricky sits at the foot of the ramp, eyes closed, trying to squeeze the feeling back into his fingers for a few seconds before he stands upright and approaches the ring. He throws the ring skirt up, reaching beneath it, retrieving a steel chair. As if demonstrating its sturdiness, he raises it above his head and brings it loudly across the steel steps with a
CLANG! before charging toward Evan and swinging it into the small of his back! Evan cries out and stumbles forward, up the ramp. He turns around, right into a javelin-like shot from the chair into his ribcage-- followed by a second into his sternum, taking him to his back! Valero presses his weight against the chair, pushing it down toward Evan’s throat! Evan blocks the choke as best he can, but struggles beneath Valero.
Kris Cruise: Jesus Christ. He’s trying to decapitate Evan Envi!
Stephy Auger: If the tables were turned, you’d probably be cheering the Chief on just like all the fairweather fans!
Envi pushes the chair off his neck, knocking it out of Valero’s grip. Valero rips Envi to his feet and hoists him upright-- before slamming him to the floor with another Snap Suplex! Envi arches his back in pain and Ricky lifts the chair up again. He raises it above his head and slams it down across Envi’s ribs! Envi squeals out in agony and Ricky slams it down a second, third, and fouth time! He forces Envi upright and Irish Whips him into the barricade, but Envi collapses before reaching it, colliding with it head-and-shoulder first. The crowd drowns Ricky Valero in boos as he raises double V’s high in the air, mocking his former partner.
“RICKY SUCKS!”
“RICKY SUCKS!”
“RICKY SUCKS!”
“RICKY SUCKS!”
Ricky slowly walks to the ring and lifts the ring skirt again, reaching under to drag out a table, earning a thunderous mixed reaction from Vancouver…
...which devolves into outright boos as Ricky dismissively drops the table, waving it off and digging under the ring for something else instead.
Stephy Auger: The crowd didn’t like that. Obviously they wanted to see some wood, but it looks like Ricky found something a little more swift and to the point!
Ricky grins as he emerges from beneath the ring with a lead pipe. He points it at a few booing members of the audience before pointing it toward the rising Evan Envi with a scowl.
Kris Cruise: And the Chief has no idea…!
Ricky charges forward and swings the pipe at Envi’s head-- but Envi ducks beneath it! Ricky swings so hard that he spins himself around and Envi launches him with a German Suplex, sending Ricky into the barricade! Ricky shakily stands up, but Envi delivers a Spinning Heel Kick to the side of the head! Ricky falls against the barricade, maintaining a grip on the pipe. With a glare, he staggers toward Envi, swinging the pipe-- but Envi takes a step back before responding with a stomp to the gut! Ricky doubles over and Envi nails a Swinging Neckbreaker, sending both men smashing into the bottom of the ramp! Finally, the lead pipe rolls out of Valero’s grip! Envi rises to his feet and steps over Ricky, bending down to retrieve the pipe! The audience roars as Envi’s demeanor visibly shifts upon holding the weapon. He turns, looking for Valero… but Ricky scrambles to his feet, charging up the ramp!
Stephy Auger: Get outta there, Ricky!
Envi strides after Valero. Ricky shoots a look over his shoulder and pushes himself to his feet with a grunt, breaking into a half-limp, half-sprint toward the backstage area-- with Envi just a pace behind to a roar from the crowd! A second later, the ref runs after them, disappearing behind the curtains to the back and we cut to a wide shot of the Vancouver audience.
Kris Cruise: Ricky’s making a run for it and Evan’s right on his heels! We need a camera in the back!
As if on cue, a camera operator shakily follows behind the action in the brightly lit backstage corridors. Ricky Valero is visible first, darting through gorilla and down the halls. He look over his shoulder, eye widening and pace quickening as we see Envi break into a sprint to follow him, still wielding the lead pipe! Valero nearly trips over himself as he rounds a corner, running toward the arena exit!
Kris Cruise: Remember, this isn’t a Falls Count Anywhere match, but if the referee acknowledges that one of these Grapplers has become incapacitated-- even if it’s in the back-- this match still stops!
Stephy Auger: Poor Ricky didn’t agree to this! This was supposed to end in a forfeit! And Evan’s insurance will never cover him now!
Valero approaches a set of brass-colored double doors. He pushes against the left door, yelling out in frustration as it refuses to budge. Evan continues forward, shifting the lead pipe in his hand to hold it as if ready to launch a spear. Valero moves to the right door, throwing himself against the crash bar as Envi hurls the pipe! The door opens and Ricky tumbles to the outside with the pipe sailing over his head, landing in the darkness with a
CLUNK! Ricky pushes himself upright again, running into the parking lot as Envi strides behind him.
Kris Cruise: These two have made it outside into the VIP parking lot! Ricky-- oh!
Ricky Valero pulls a plastic garbage can off of the ground and pivots, lauching it toward the Chief! Envi dives out of the way and Valero darts between a pair of cars. Back on his feet, Envi slides across the trunk of a sedan, dropping to his feet behind Valero, who’s making a beeline for an unoccupied box truck! Envi catches Valero in a rear waist-lock, but Valero throws his head back, driving his own skull into Envi’s face!
Kris Cruise: No! What a headbutt!
Valero follows up with a back elbow that stuns the Chief, before he Irish Whips Envi as hard as he can into the side of the box-truck! Envi bounces off, stumbling back-- and Valero charges at him, grabbing him by the base of his neck, driving him into the side of the truck again! Envi bounces back-- and Valero throws him face-first into the box truck for a third time! Envi collapses to the ground and Ricky points to the referee, eyes wide.
Ricky Valero: He quits! Evan,
tell him you quit!Envi coughs and gags, using Ricky’s leg to pull himself up, but Ricky unloads with a series of clubbing blows to the spine and neck! He pulls Envi’s “DO GOOD” t-shirt up and around his neck, turning himself and Envi back-to-back before leaning forward, using Evan’s own weight to choke him with the t-shirt!
Stephy Auger: I bet he quits now!
Kris Cruise: He’s choking the hell out of Evan Envi! Envi’s feet aren’t even touching the ground! He’s gonna break his damn neck!
Envi’s face first grows red-- before rapidly losing color as Ricky tightens his grip around the shirt and hunches forward, adding more torque to the back-to-back choke! Envi reaches his foot up, planting it against the side of the box truck… then his other foot… and he walks upward, performing a backflip over Ricky, freeing himself of the shirt and landing in front of the Franchise!
Kris Cruise: Evan escapes!
CRACK!A knee strike catches Valero across the jaw and sends him staggering back, slumping against the side of silver Dodge Charger. He clenches his fist, glaring at Envi, opening his mouth to say something-- but a charging European Uppercut sends him sprawling across the hood of the car instead!
Stephy Auger: IS THAT MY CAR?!
Envi steps onto the front wheel and then up to the hood of the car, turning to pull Ricky up with him while the audience inside the arena cheers in delight!
Stephy Auger: EVAN! GET OFF MY CAR!
Kris Cruise: This isn’t looking good. Not for Ricky… not for your personal vehicle…
Envi pulls Ricky up to the roof of the car-- and Ricky fights back with a punch to the gut. Then a punch to the ribs. A knee! Another bunch! An elbow! A knee! A punch! A--
--swift kick between the legs from the Chief! Ricky drops to his knees, shaking in pain as Envi falls to a knee as well, hurting from the strikes, exhausted from the battle.
Stephy Auger: That is absolutely unfair! What kind of a real man fights like that, Cruise?!
Kris Cruise: A man that doesn’t give a damn about morals anymore! A man that just wants to see his former best friend in pain!
Envi reaches his feet first, tilting his head back, taking a deep breath… before he rips Valero upright in a double-underhook and quickly drives him head-first through the sunroof of the Charger with a Double-Arm Snap DDT!
Stephy Auger: M… m… m-m-my car…
Kris Cruise: The Blues right on the roof of the car! Right
through it.
Envi sits on the roof of the car, eyes closed, breathing in the moment as the audience inside the Rogers Arena erupts.
“HOLY SHIT!”
“HOLY SHIT!”
“HOLY SHIT!”
“HOLY SHIT!”
“HOLY SHIT!”
Envi slides down from the Charger, admiring the damage for a moment before nodding to the ref. Envi pulls open the driver’s door and gets inside-- starting the car right up! The ref shakes his head in disapproval, but quickly runs around to climb into the passenger seat as Envi throws the Charger into drive with Ricky still stuck, motionless upside-down in the broken sunroof!
Stephy Auger: THIS IS GRAND THEFT AUTO! SOMEBOD-- IS THER-- ARE WE JUST LETTING THIS HAPPEN?!
Kris Cruise: Why’d you leave your keys in the ignition?
Stephy Auger: EVERYONE LEAVES THEIR KEYS IN THE IGNITION!
Kris Cruise: That’s just not true. I’ve got mine right h… anyway, Envi is driving around to the side entrance into the Rogers Arena! I think they’re coming this way!
Stephy Auger: Uuughhh, he’s gonna scratch my paint!
As the car disappears from view of the camera, we cut to an interior shot of the capacity crowd, all on their feet, eyes turned toward the entrance in anticipation.
“EVAN ENVI!”
“EVAN ENVI!”
“EVAN ENVI!”
“EVAN ENVI!”
Nearly a half minute passes before the spotlight finally pan past the ramp, toward a large, curtained entranceway to its right. The Dodge Charger pulls through and out to the side of the ramp. Ricky Valero’s lower half is still sticking out of the roof. The ref exits first, before Envi emerges from the driver’s side, gazing out into the audience. He nods a bit at the pop before he reaches inside, pulling Valero through the sunroof and into the car’s front seat! Disoriented, Ricky falls backward, tumbling out of the passenger side. Shakily, he crawls to the ramp. It’s clear now that blood is streaming down his face. Envi uses the hood of the car to support himself, walking around it as he stalks Valero. Ricky turns onto his back, scooting toward the ring, raising one hand up toward Envi as he backs away, begging him off, audibly pleading with the Chief… but Envi slowly shakes his head as he closes in.
“YOU DESERVE IT!”
“YOU DESERVE IT!”
“YOU DESERVE IT!”
“YOU DESERVE IT!”
Ricky turns onto all fours as he reaches ringside and uses the steel stairs to pull himself up-- only to be driven down as Envi charges in from behind, driving Valero into the stairs with a Bulldog! Ricky cries out in pain, clutching his already-lacerated face as he bounces onto his back. Envi staggers to his feet and turns, stepping over Ricky to the table that had been abandoned before! Wasting no time, he flips it over and begins to set it up, earning deafening chants of
“YES!” from Vancouver.
Stephy Auger: Hasn’t he been through enough?!
Kris Cruise: Evan doesn’t think so and neither does anyone in this building, Stephy. And if Ricky wanted this to end-- he can end it by telling the referee he submits.
Stephy Auger: His pride won’t let him!
Kris Cruise: That’s probably true. But for his sake, he’d better have a plan! That table’s set up and it’s got his name on it!
Envi slaps the table as if testing its sturdiness before turning to Valero. Envi kneels down, hoisting Valero upright by his arm. He positions the self-proclaimed Good Guy for a Suplex-- but out of nowhere, Valero rakes Envi’s eyes and pulls him onto his shoulders in a Fireman’s Carry before launching him through the table with a modified Ushigoroshi!
Stephy Auger: THY WILL BE DONE!
Kris Cruise: Out of nowhere! Envi just got driven right through that table with that modified version of Thy Will Be Done! Oh my God!
The audience is initially thunderous with a mixed reaction at the shock-- but boos begin to flood the arena as Ricky drags himself to his feet with the apron, using one arm to pull Evan up with him. Ricky grunts, using both arms to hoist Evan upright onto the apron and then shoving him into the ring! He follows in behind him, wiping blood out of his eyes before diving across the chest of the Chief, hooking both legs! The ref counts the shoulders!
ONE
.
.
.
.
TWO
.
.
.
.
THRRRE-!
Evan throws his shoulder off the mat, defiantly!
Kris Cruise: Kickout!
Stephy Auger: I swear. This referee is terrified of the number three!
Vancouver erupts and Ricky drags his hands down his face, shaking his head. He leans back, hooking both legs again and the referee counts again!
ONE
.
.
.
.
TWO
.
.
.
.
THR-!
Stephy Auger: …
Kris Cruise: Evan! Evan gets his shoulder up again! Valero can’t believe it!
Valero raises a fist to pound on the mat in frustration… before clenching his beard in frustration instead… until with a cry of rage, he mounts Envi, unloading with punch after punch. The Chief tries to cover up, and Valero switches to elbows! He alternates! Elbow! Punch!
Elbow.
Punch. Envi places his hands on Ricky’s face, pushing him away! Ricky yells out in anger once more, standing upright, ripping Envi to his feet by the wrist-- and unloading with a punch that sends an echo through the arena like a gunshot! Both men collapse!
Kris Cruise: What an absolutely sickening shot. Evan Envi might be out right there. Ricky’s exhausted but Evan’s legs just-- they went limp.
Stephy Auger: The ref might be able to go ahead and call this thing…
Ricky rolls out to the apron, wiping blood from his face and casting another glare over his shoulder at the motionless Evan. Ricky drops down to the floor and takes a few steps over to where the match essentially began-- where he’d dropped the timekeeper’s hammer. Ricky kneels down, deaf to the thunderous booing of Vancouver.
Kris Cruise: At this point in the match, is this really necessary?
Ricky spins the hammer in his hand, taking a deep breath, thinking the situation over as he makes his way to the steel steps, walking up them… walking across the apron…
Stephy Auger: We all knew this wasn’t gonna be pretty, Cruise. If you don’t have the stomach for it, I advise you look away now!
Chants of
“NO!” greet Valero as he steps through the ropes. Envi reaches his knees, glaring up at Ricky-- who spits his own blood in Evan’s face. Evan recoils, swaying as Valero raises the hammer above his head!
...and with one last gasp, Evan springs to his feet, throwing a solid punch into Valero’s throat! Valero gags, raising one hand to his throat as his eyes widen-- and Envi snatches the hammer out of his hand! Ricky turns, prepared to dart away, but Envi strides after him and leaps up, bringing Ricky to the mat with a Backstabber!
Stephy Auger: God in Heaven, if you ever loved Ricky Valero, you would help him right now!
Envi flips Valero onto his stomach and grapevines his right arm between his legs before reaching around Ricky’s jaw-- and using the handle of the hammer, pulled back against Ricky’s mouth to apply a Crossface!
Kris Cruise: The BPA is locked in! That hammer is gonna tear Ricky’s jaw right out of his skull!
The audience screams for Valero to
“TAP!” and for a brief moment, Ricky pulls at the fingers-- at the hammer-- at anything, but to no avail! He grunts in agony. His eyes grow redder and redder, welling with tears. Valero slumps downward… and weakly taps against the canvas, to a deafening eruption from the audience! The ref signals to the timekeeper that the match is over!
Kris Cruise: That’s it! That’s it! There’s no bell because the hammer is in Ricky Valero’s mouth but that’s it!
“Helter Skelter” hits the PA system as the referee tries desperately to pull Envi off of the now-motionless Ricky Valero. Envi says something to Ricky, loud enough for him to hear, but too quiet for the cameras and mics to pick up. Finally, he releases the hammer, allowing the unconscious Valero to slump to the mat.
J.A. Aldridge: Here is your winner… EVAAAAAN ENNNNVIIII!
The audience roars in approval as Envi sits upright, backing into the corner, staring in a daze at Ricky Valero as his music plays over the PA system.
Kris Cruise: Good for you, Evan.
Stephy Auger: I hope he’s happy. I hope his bloodlust is satisfied here tonight. All of this was at the expense of his best fr--
Kris Cruise: Oh, stop it. This was about retribution. Ricky Valero was taken to Hell tonight and it couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy. This is what happens when you interfere with somebody’s livelihood. This is a lesson that the Franchise isn’t gonna soon forget.
Envi stares a hole through the still-motionless Ricky Valero before pulling himself out of the ring beneath the bottom rope. Envi pauses, looking to the fans closest to him, leaning over the barricade with outstretched hands. He turns, looking out around at the audience in the arena-- many of whom stand to applaud him. Envi’s eyes fall shut for a moment before he turns, making his way up the ramp without another word, nor another look back toward Valero.
Stephy Auger: He’s not even gonna put my car back.
Envi disappears through the curtains and to the back while we fade to black on the stirring, bloodied face of a disoriented Ricky Valero.