Press Conference Thread for 10.03.19

[FGA Office]

DDT3 Press Conference
Venue: Festival Ballroom (at the Cajundome)
Location: Lafayette, LA
Date: October 03, 2019 (in character)
Start Time: 12 pm EST (in character)

Invitees:
Los Chicos Malos, The League of Extraordinary GentleGrapplers, G3, Carina Eventide & Laurel Anne Hardy.

Deadline: October 2nd at 9pm EST

---

The following is a press conference for the 2019 Dynamic Duos Tag Team Tournament. The names listed above are the wrestlers who have been invited to this press conference. For reporters, you are more than welcome to use Vertigo's Spencer Burke and Jessie Pederson. Or you can use your home fed's interviewers if you would prefer. Or you can make up your own. Doesn't matter. IC, this press conference takes place on Thursday, October 3, 2019. All quarterfinals matches will take place later that night.

[Giles]

The press are patiently waiting for everything to start up when suddenly there’s a noise coming from outside the conference room? A buzzing of some kind? Bees? No, it’s getting louder and as it does it is clear that it’s something motorised moving very quickly towards the room. Naturally this concerns some of the press that start talking amongst themselves about the noise.

A go-kart BURSTS through the doors wildly, Blaise Fader sitting in the driver’s seat dressed in what can only be a Bowsette costume. Ethan, dressed in a Shy Guy costume including Shy Guy mask over his usual mask, is in a much more precarious position on the kart, crouching on a back platform and hanging on to a bar that divides Fader and him. Their go-kart clearly fashioned after the Super Mario Kart: Double Dash karts!

Fader zips and weaves through the room, not seeming to have full control over her kart the way Ethan and her jerk about in it. She avoids hitting anybody or anything, and Ethan is tossing each and every press member a gift basket?! It’s filled with baked goods that have been specifically made to look like video game iconography, Mario mushrooms, Sonic rings, the Tri-Force! The League of Extraordinary GentleGrapplers dash by the other teams’ tables, setting a basket on each of them for them too before parking next to their table. Ethan offers his hand to Fader and he helps her out of the kart, pulling her seat out for her and helping her get situated before he sits down himself.

BLAISE: Video’d games, innit?

Ethan nods and he applauds like a member of a royal court would to the royalty, clearly going method actor with their costumes. He points to one of the many journalists with their arms raised to start them off.

PRESS: League of Extraordinary GentleGrapplers! Bill Beetly from the WhatAManeuver.com website, how are you feeling after your first round victory and advancing to the quarter finals of the tournament?

The journalist sounds like he’s been ripped straight from the 1920’s, he’s even got an old fashion pad and pencil to record his notes on. Ethan raises his index finger emphatically and he leans in to answer but then stops. He gives pause, curling his finger and receding it back to his palm with the rest of his fingies. Silly Ethan, he almost forgot his role! The traditionally mute Shy Guy looks over to his queen, gesturing for her majesty to field the question.

BLAISE: Ah! Yes, of course. We—the Royal We, that is—are very pleased with the diligent work we’ve put in paying off in the early goings of this illustrious tournament. This competition has attracted the best of the best in the running, and I feel that we—Ethan and I, this time—have brought a level of… I guess synergy’s the word for it, but I dunno, that seems a bit corporate presentation, yeah?

Blaise, adjusting the crooked Bowsette crown on her head, takes a breath. It’s a little harder for her to keep playing it straight, but she doesn’t want to leave Ethan hanging. Shy Ethan thinks about it and he nods in agreement with her assessment, shrugging his shoulders. He gestures between them, specifically their outfits that are in no way corporate mascots of any kind.

BLAISE: Nobody tags like us, nobody wrestles like us, and nobody on the corner’s got swagga like us, basically. I think that gave us the edge in the first round.

Shy Ethan gives another round of golf clap style applause to his majesty, pausing only to urge the press to join in and some hesitantly do. It’s awkward and scattered. A different member of the press steps forward with a burning desire to have his question answered!

PRESS: Your highness! What are your thoughts on your upcoming opponents? G3 are an unorthodox duo that some may take lightly due to their hustling nature.

Settling into the bit, Blaise carries herself with as regal an air as she can muster. It’s not much, but it’s something.

BLAISE: Unorthodox, darling, is our forte. We wouldn’t have made it this far without dabbling in the unorthodox, and neither would our worthy opponents. G3 likes to play games, sure, but they don’t play games they don’t think they’ll win. If the ball’s in our pitch, the League of Extraordinary GentleGrapplers will gladly play along. We—the royal We—like to be amused, after all.

Shy Ethan excitedly squeaks.

ETHAN: And that’s why you could say it'll be GAME OVER for them if they try to play by our rules!

Near radiating pride and joy off of himself over that video game reference, Shy Ethan glances over at Queen Blaise and he notices her giving him a look. Suddenly he realises his mistake! He spoke!

ETHAN: Oh fiddle sticks!

He snaps his fingers and Blaise pats him on the back with a look of “Well, you tried”. She offers him a Super Mario Super Star shaped cookie and he takes it, only to then remember something. He’s wearing two masks. So. No cookie.

[styg]

Without making much of a fuss, Carina Eventide and Laurel Anne Hardy get to the stage for their turn at the press conference for the second round in this year’s Dynamic Duos. Although they’re not being rowdy, Laurel has a shit-eating grin plastered on her face; Carina is more playful, sharing some hand waves at the press and whatnot. The artistically-inclined duo show their eclecticness in their clothes today - Laurel is wearing a navy Necry Talkie T-shirt with fuchsia jeans, white trainers and a ton of mish-mashed jewellery, and Carina is seen in a very bright yellow dress over some cargo pants and Converse. They sit down in front of the press, who quickly get in position to fill every possible centimeter of air with questions about their past matchup and their next encounter. But the first to speak is not a reporter but Laurel, who slaps alternating fists into her palms rapidly - one two - then leans back with her arms outstretched and winks.

Laurel Anne Hardy: Fuckin’ told ya. What did I say? You see our match last round? When I told you my girl had greatness in her? That’s what I was talking about. You see how quick she put that away at the end? What about that corkscrew plancha, yeh? Perfect. Daedalus himself couldn’t’ve flown better there.

And she kisses her fingertips in a ‘magnifique’ gesture. Carina looks proud, albeit a bit overwhelmed. The notion of her role model praising her in-ring work just wasn’t something she was expecting, not right now, at least. She smiles but lets the conference continue. FGA’s own Jessie Pederson opens us up...

Jessie Pederson Well, since you just touched on your last match already, let’s start there. What are your thoughts on beating Seren Beyer and Persephone Waters to reach round two?

Carina and Laurel glance at one another for a moment.

Carina Eventide: A lot of people saw how crazy that match was overall. Knowing their experience on the tag scene, po… we knew we had to throw everything at them. I believe we even threw the kitchen sink just to beat them. So, it was a great test of what’s this tournament all about and the talent we’ll be racing on each round.

Laurel just nods in agreement, though she’s looking downward slightly.

Carina Eventide: Two unpredictable forces collided; sadly we couldn’t wrestle forever and one team had to win, po. We got the chance to paint the last part of the puzzle and come away with the W and advancing; but they know, we’d love to do it again, po.

Laurel agrees with all this but rubs her neck, wearing a rather ambivalent expression, before she finally looks up into the throng again.

Laurel Anne Hardy: So, personally for me… historically speaking here, Seren hasn’t always exactly been my favourite person. I won’t deny when I was headbutting her there was maybe just a little element of catharsis for the things she did to my best mate, Evangelista, in the past. But I mean… she’s a good wrestler. They both are. And that’s the point, yeh, as Carina said: the quality of competition, in each match and in the tournament overall. I’m glad we’re able to say we overcome a strong team to be here. That’s not to sell Ant ‘n’ Ashley short, like; I know they’d’ve given us a great match too, yeh.

She thinks of something else suddenly, and so adds:

Laurel Anne Hardy: Oh and fair play to THE BIG DOG for tryna chuck Stephy across ringside. That was bloody marvellous, that.

Carina Eventide: Bacán, plain and simple, bacán!

Laurel Anne Hardy: I think my least favourite part of our own match was being that close to Stephy Auger, to be honest.

Carina Eventide: Yeah?

Laurel Anne Hardy: Oh, for sure. Y’know, it feels like every time I’m in the same room as Stephy Auger, I have this weird moment where like… I can’t decide whether it’s just that I’m not as used to her anymore, so my tolerance has lowered, or whether she’s actually somehow managed to get even worse.

Jessie Pederson You still don’t like her, then.

Laurel Anne Hardy: Mmm… she may be the absolute worst human. Just the fucking worst human.

Carina Eventide: Literally the worst person alive?

Laurel thinks about this honestly.

Laurel Anne Hardy: Well, I mean… maybe after Duterte gets offed. Unless someone does Stephy first, that is.

Spencer Burke: Moving swiftly on. We’ve talked about your previous opponents - let’s talk about your upcoming ones. Los Chicos Malos, who beat two rising stars, Naoki Ojima and Kazu Hirano, in a physical match. Do you feel prepared for them?

Carina shrugs as she takes the first word.

Carina Eventide: One cannot say one is really prepared for anything in life, po. That’s the beauty of it all. But, you know us; we know how art works, how unpredictable art is; how there’s beauty and magic in everything, po.

Carina looks over towards Laurel, before she continues.

Carina Eventide: Los Chicos Malos won their match as you said and the art they created had that… certain it, you cannot take your eyes away from, po… You know what else I read in what they were painting? They’re scary looking and obviously ruthless, dangerous fighters, po... but they weren’t actually cheating much in their match against Go Go Tokyo.

Laurel pulls a face.

Laurel Anne Hardy: I mean… a little bit. Kinda.

Carina Eventide: At the end when he pulled down the rope? That’s grey-ish, something, probably, I would’ve done the same; maybe.

Laurel Anne Hardy: Fair, me too. And the choke, yeh; he didn’t want to let go of that one, did he? It’s cool though. We know to be on our guard. And yeah, no, you’re right, they weren’t out here with low blows and fists full of tights and shit. They basically did that fair and square.

Carina Eventide: Right. I mean, they call themselves bad boys, but I think they might really be pretty good guys. They want to win the same way we do… with warriors’ honor… by being more goddamn violent than the other team.

A chuckle and a grin from the owner of Filthy Bazaar.

Laurel Anne Hardy: Hell, I’m up for making this a deathmatch if everyone else is.

Spencer Burke: I, uh, don’t think that’s likely, but you never know.

Laurel shrugs. She was joking anyway - though naturally, she and Carina would be quite happy to get as violent as their opponents want to get, if not a little moreso. Regardless, Laurel moves on.

Laurel Anne Hardy: But look, lemme be straight about Los Chicos Malos, okay. They were one of the teams everybody wrote off because they hadn’t heard of them. Well, look at this right now, they’re in the next round. Bet a lot of people are surprised. I ain’t surprised. Why? Because I pay attention. I keep my ears down low. I remember things. I remember a luchador called The Alpha Kid who was a hot sensation in Mexico a few years back. I remember him snapping and turning on a friend, how shook it had the audience that night, and him renaming himself El Chico Malo. Know what else I remember? Last year, down in HELL, him being part of a squad that beat no less a team than your reigning FGA World Tag Team Champions Pendragon, along with Lexi Bennett and one of the favourites right here in this tournament, Blaise, for a title. You all saw their round one match. You saw how vicious they were. If you didn’t see it, Iunno why you’re in this room right now.

Carina nods at everything Laurel has been saying. Knowing full well that even though Laurel is talking about their opponents, in some way, Laurel is also talking about her and the fact she was a relative unknown for many watching this tournament.

Laurel Anne Hardy: Sure, they ain’t as famous as Blaise an’ Ethan. They ain’t as famous as the Hellcats, or Best for Business, yeh? But this is not a night off for us. We’re gonna go out there and treat ‘em with the same respect we’d treat any team - by smackin’ the everloving holy faeces out of them.

Spencer Burke: So you’re not intimidated by their unorthodox look or their ruthlessness?

The Inventor of Wrestling spreads her arms again.

Laurel Anne Hardy: Like I said last time: there’s nobody in the world I can’t beat.

Then she puts an arm around Carina.

Laurel Anne Hardy: No team we can’t beat.

Carina is a bit surprised by this, both the suddenness of the arm round her shoulders and the fact Laurel’s including her in that statement, but it makes a big smile break out across her face as she nods along with Laurel’s assertion.

Carina Eventide: Exactly, po.

El Mercurio’s José Fernández is back again tonight, and he’s got the next question.

José Fernández: Carina, you just signed a contract with Revival Wrestling, and Laurel, you were in Japan recently competing in two matches at Violence Dream 2 including winning the After Dark Tanoshii Championship. How split is your focus right now?

Carina looked at Laurel as if to say she’ll be taking this one first. A wide grin appears on her face, just remembering the opportunity she has in Revival, and then she speaks.

Carina Eventide: Not at all; see. The way I see things, the more places I have to showcase my art the more people get to know me. That has been our theme so far in both pressers we’ve made so far, po; with us constantly saying here that you should pay attention to new names, new places, new people. Me being in Revival is just that, another opportunity to show the world what I can do - and I feel I speak for Laurel when I say she sees her opportunities the same way.

Nodding enthusiastically, Laurel now joins in:

Laurel Anne Hardy: Hundred percent, cariad. The Silent Killer’s been a hit here in the English-speaking world so far. To now bring the character to Japan, my dad’s homeland, a country that’s very special to me… I know those touchstones like Tex Avery or Felix the Cat don’t have the same kind of cultural cachet there, but it’s still been a wonderful evolution of the piece to be able to perform it in Japan. And this is the same thing here, you know, in a quintessential sense. Teaming with Carina is, I think, opening up a lot of new space for both of us. We feed off each other very well, creatively. Here in DDT3 is the best possible place to do it; this is THE event of the year in tag team wrestling. Seren and Persephone were new opponents. Prometheus and Epimetheus are a team we’ve never faced before.

Carina Eventide: You see, great artists usually don’t work on just one piece at a time. Imagination doesn’t work in a linear way. Facing different people, po… that’s where magic resides. Facing new exciting people and opportunities always improve the way you perceive things, the way you handle things, the way you paint and the way you create. Exploring other avenues will not only help our individual endeavors but also our collective ones, po… in fact our activities elsewhere, won’t take anything away from what we’ll bring to this tournament and if anyone thinks it’ll take our attention away; then, they’re not paying attention.

Laurel Anne Hardy: Exactly - if anything, what you’re calling ‘split focus’ just makes us better, yeh.

Allison Reynolds: Guys, give us your prediction for the night’s other tournament match. Do you expect to face G3 or Gentlegrapplers in next round?

The artists turn to look at one another, then both shrug as they turn back.

Carina Eventide: Surprise us, po.

Laurel Anne Hardy: We’re focused on Los Chicos Malos right now. Whether it’s G3 or Ethan and Blaise next, we’ll focus on them once this challenge right in front of us is down.

After that, both Laurel and Carina wave the reporters adieu and let the press conference continue.

[The Mason]

[delayed]



As the doors open to allow Laurel Anne Hardy and Carina Eventide to exit the conference room, they are met face to face by their Round 2 foes, Prometheus and Epimetheus, Los Chicos Malos. There is a momentary staredown but no words nor actions come about, as a devilish grin creeps across the face of Prometheus before they finally brush past their opponents and shuffle their way toward their respective table.

Upon sitting, Epimetheus notices the gift basket left behind by The League of Extraordinary GentleGrappers and starts to sift through it. Prometheus quickly snatches the basket from his partner’s hands, however, not even looking through it before whipping it across the room with a scowl.

Prometheus: I don’t know what the hell that was, but Los Chicos Malos aren’t interested in gift baskets.

Epimetheus: There were little Yoshi eggs in there…

Prometheus: We’ve got a date inside the squared circle with the two individuals who just departed this room, and right now, that’s all we’re really focused on.

The room goes silent for a moment as the press in attendance do battle over who will ask the first question. And, of course, FGA interviewer Spencer Burke: wins that opportunity.

Spencer Burke:: Before we dive into your second-round match, what are your thoughts coming off a Round 1 victory over Go Go Victory?

Prometheus doesn’t even try to hide a chuckle as the painted fiend licks his lips.

Prometheus: My thoughts, Mr. Burke, are that those opponents were as inferior as we told you they were. We told you that no matter how exciting they might be...how young and talented they may be...Kazu Hirano and Naoki Ojima had no chance in hell of surviving our encounter. It was an honor for them to breathe the same air as your future Dynamic Duos winners, but they were standing in our way, and we had no choice but to eradicate them.

With that, Prometheus turns to his tag team partner for a follow-up… and it’s quickly evident that Epimetheus can’t contain himself.

Epimetheus: Captivating though, wasn’t it?

Prometheus audibly sighs.

Epimetheus: I don’t know if you guys felt the same things my partner and I felt when we engaged the glorious Kazu Hirano and the rest, but everything that beautiful man brings to this business is--

Prometheus: Alright.

With Epimetheus abruptly cut off, Jessie Pederson and Prometheus partake in an unenthusiastic staredown until Vertigo’s other resident interviewer stands to her feet and garner’s the room’s attention.

Jessie Pederson: You guys know me, Jessie Pederson, I--

Prometheus: Why would you say that? What are you trying to imply, Ms. Pederson?

Epimetheus: Couldn’t pick her out of a lineup.

Jessie Pederson: I, uh, wha--

Prometheus: You know what I’m talking about!

Jessie Pederson: I just wanted to ask if you heard any of what your Round 2 opponents, Laurel Anne Hardy and Carina Eventide, said about you guys a few minutes ago, and how you guys are feeling heading into this big-time matchup?

Epimetheus sighs loudly.

Epimetheus: If we did know you, then I guess it would’ve been fair to expect such a mundane question, right?

Jessie rubs at her eyes for a moment before nodding to herself a little and gesturing toward the tag team standing behind the podium.

Jessie Pederson: Does it make you feel less confident, knowing that Laurel made it clear that she’s not overlooking you guys-- that she’s looked into the pair of you more than any other potential opponent in the field? Does it throw you off your game at all, hearing the parallels that Laurel was able to draw to other performers just now? Do you feel scouted, maybe?

Silence from Los Chicos Malos.

Silence. And finally a huff from Epimetheus.

Epimetheus: I think Laurel Anne Hardy would make one heck of a storyteller. She knows what she's talking about, doesn't she? But if you guys don’t mind…

Epimetheus clears his throat. It’s evident that beads of sweat-- interestingly-colored sweat- are running down his temple under the bright overhead lights.

Epimetheus: It’s getting a bit hot. And we don’t wanna get dehydrated before the big match. So if there are no more questions--

???: Like fuck there are no more questions. I have questions.

Spencer Burke:: No. No. No. No, you don’t--

Nando Fresno: Alien Hunter pushes past the small crowd and walks to the front of the stage, camcorder gripped in one hand, and his own bootleg microphone in the other.

Nando Fresno: Alien Hunter Where in the actual FUCK are your birth certificates?!

Epimetheus shakes his head just slightly.

Epimetheus: Wildly inappropriate. What year are we living in?

Nando Fresno: Alien Hunter A year where nobody, and nothing is to be trusted-- just like every other goddamn year.

Epimetheus: Holy smokes. Why are you so angry? Is it because you don’t have the opportunity to represent yourselves in the Dynamic Duos tournament this year? Instead, it’s destined to be won by something that you can’t quite understand; something that doesn’t fit into any box that you’ve created-- something like Los Chicos Malos?

Epimetheus jerks a thumb in the direction of his opponents.

Epimetheus: I know we’re in for a fight this evening. That’s no secret to anybody in this room, but it’s absolutely fascinating to think that we’re the only ones that see how this ends.

The corners of his lips twitch into a small smile. And another bead of silver sweat drops down his face, prompting Prometheus to nudge Epimetheus, giving him a sharp elbow to the ribs. Epimetheus speeds his cadence up as Los Chicos Malos rise to their feet.

Prometheus: Wrap it up.

Epimetheus: To think that we’re the only ones that understand. Our opponents-- they’re close. But they don’t get it. Not truly. And the fact that you do, little guy-- it’s profoundly insulting. And we’re not going to stand here and take it for another moment.

Prometheus: Now.

Spencer Burke:: ...your paint is runn--

Prometheus points a finger at Spencer, opening his mouth to retort in anger-- and Burke perks a brow in curiosity. Prometheus clamps his own mouth shut and allows himself to be pulled off stage by Epimetheus.

Epimetheus: Until the ring!

Nando Fresno: Alien Hunter This isn’t over!

Spencer Burke:: It’s over.

As the Chicos hurriedly depart, our esteemed journalists question their career trajectory.