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Jan 24, 2017 18:24:29 GMT -5
Post by Perello on Jan 24, 2017 18:24:29 GMT -5
“I really, really, reaaaaaaaally do not like being interrupted.”
The Church of Cyn in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania set the scene. There were just a few minutes left before the twelve o’clock mass began, and Cyncity was already dressed for the occasion. However, before that? The 3GW Paramount champion had a little something to get off of her chest.
“Never have I been one who enjoys coming out to that ring just to talk. I’m not like the peoples over there in the Arts of Frontier Grappling who just looooooove hearing the sound of their own voice, and looooooove hearing all the non-believers chant stupid things over them. I don’t scurry around the hallways to find one of the backstage interviewers so I could comment on what the heck happened just a few minutes ago on ‘insert wrestling show name here.’ That’s never been my style, and never will be my style.”
She spun around and faced the front of the church, patiently waiting for the arrival of her ‘children.’
“But when I DO speak? You peoples better freaking pay attention because everything that comes out of my mouth is DA GOD’S HONEST TRUTH!”
She stopped, only to give herself a quick pat on the back for the accidental pun.
“Such a disrespectful thing to come out on another person's time - especially when those people shouldn’t be allowed within thirty feet of Holyty! Did your parents not teach you guys any manners?! It’s pretty stinkin’ grimey that a bunch of LOSERS who just had a chance to become Paramount champion came out and ruined my moment in a similar way that Zero McHannon did in FGA, and how does Lindsay Pimplechin Harrington repay those non-believers?!”
She turned her head to look at the camera.
“She sticks them all in the ring with me AGAIN with the thought that maybe one of them will shut me up. Maybe one of them will humble me! WELL GUESS WHAT! THAT’S NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVAAAAAAAH GOING TO HAPPEN! I will be the 3GW Paramount champion till the end of all of the times, and I will banish everyone who disobeys DA GOD into the oblivion! Yaaaaaaaaaaas I WILL!”
“YAS SHE WILL!”
The voice of Mascot Stitch caught Cindy off guard, getting her to sharply turn her head to the front of the church. She checked her wristwatch for the time, now only two minutes away from the start of mass.
“Ahhh, my children are coming! What was I talking about?”
With a puzzled glare, she turned back to the camera and continued.
“Oh yeah! The oblivion! That wretched non-believer Maritza was the first to be banished, and now? Her potentially mentally handicapped friend... or boyfriend... or... whatever the heck they have going on? Is looking for revenge! Not just revenge, my children, but after failing to capture the 3GW Tag Team titles, one like DA GOD has to assume that he’s a desperate muchacho! Desperate to prove that he belongs, and desperate to make a niiiice little impression for Barmitzvah!”
She rolled her eyes, and spun her index finger around in a circle sarcastically.
“But if you couldn’t capitalize in a ghost division, what makes you think you could hang in the ring with me for more than five minutes, PEDRO! You knucklehead! It’s a freaking shame that my debut on Challenge is being wasted on you, and I’m not gonna be one of those people who stand here and spit foolish lies about how I’m looking forward to the match. How I can’t wait to ‘kill it’ in the ring with you, and how I have all this baloney to prove! I HAVE NOTHING TO PROVE, PEDRO! I HAVE NOTHING TO PROVE, 3GW! I HAVE NOTHING TO PROVE, NON-BELIEVERS!”
“SHE HAS NOTHING TO PROVE!”
The followers of Cynduism shouted, the church now almost filled.
“As far as I’m concerned? This, for me, is an exhibition. Pedro will be nothing more than a human body bag that has body odor and duck feet! THIS NIGHT OF CHALLENGE WILL BE WRITTEN IN THE BIBLE OF CYN AS THE DAY DA GOD GAVE UP TIME WITH HER SON TO HELP AXXESS NETWORK GAIN MORE SUBSCRIBERS, SHOWING US ALL WHY SHE IS THE HOOD ORNAMENT OF THE WHOLE FGA GALAXY!”
“Hallelujah!” A potentially drunk follower shouted from her seat.
“Noooow, if you’ll excuse me! I has to get mass started!”
She turned to the front of the church and gestured for her followers to rise to their feet.
“My children! We are gathered here today to celebrate that greatness of ME!”
“SHE IS OUR CHAMP-YEEEEN!”
Cyn turned to the camera one final time, a smirk on her face as she waved goodbye.
The Church of Cyn in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania set the scene. There were just a few minutes left before the twelve o’clock mass began, and Cyncity was already dressed for the occasion. However, before that? The 3GW Paramount champion had a little something to get off of her chest.
“Never have I been one who enjoys coming out to that ring just to talk. I’m not like the peoples over there in the Arts of Frontier Grappling who just looooooove hearing the sound of their own voice, and looooooove hearing all the non-believers chant stupid things over them. I don’t scurry around the hallways to find one of the backstage interviewers so I could comment on what the heck happened just a few minutes ago on ‘insert wrestling show name here.’ That’s never been my style, and never will be my style.”
She spun around and faced the front of the church, patiently waiting for the arrival of her ‘children.’
“But when I DO speak? You peoples better freaking pay attention because everything that comes out of my mouth is DA GOD’S HONEST TRUTH!”
She stopped, only to give herself a quick pat on the back for the accidental pun.
“Such a disrespectful thing to come out on another person's time - especially when those people shouldn’t be allowed within thirty feet of Holyty! Did your parents not teach you guys any manners?! It’s pretty stinkin’ grimey that a bunch of LOSERS who just had a chance to become Paramount champion came out and ruined my moment in a similar way that Zero McHannon did in FGA, and how does Lindsay Pimplechin Harrington repay those non-believers?!”
She turned her head to look at the camera.
“She sticks them all in the ring with me AGAIN with the thought that maybe one of them will shut me up. Maybe one of them will humble me! WELL GUESS WHAT! THAT’S NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVAAAAAAAH GOING TO HAPPEN! I will be the 3GW Paramount champion till the end of all of the times, and I will banish everyone who disobeys DA GOD into the oblivion! Yaaaaaaaaaaas I WILL!”
“YAS SHE WILL!”
The voice of Mascot Stitch caught Cindy off guard, getting her to sharply turn her head to the front of the church. She checked her wristwatch for the time, now only two minutes away from the start of mass.
“Ahhh, my children are coming! What was I talking about?”
With a puzzled glare, she turned back to the camera and continued.
“Oh yeah! The oblivion! That wretched non-believer Maritza was the first to be banished, and now? Her potentially mentally handicapped friend... or boyfriend... or... whatever the heck they have going on? Is looking for revenge! Not just revenge, my children, but after failing to capture the 3GW Tag Team titles, one like DA GOD has to assume that he’s a desperate muchacho! Desperate to prove that he belongs, and desperate to make a niiiice little impression for Barmitzvah!”
She rolled her eyes, and spun her index finger around in a circle sarcastically.
“But if you couldn’t capitalize in a ghost division, what makes you think you could hang in the ring with me for more than five minutes, PEDRO! You knucklehead! It’s a freaking shame that my debut on Challenge is being wasted on you, and I’m not gonna be one of those people who stand here and spit foolish lies about how I’m looking forward to the match. How I can’t wait to ‘kill it’ in the ring with you, and how I have all this baloney to prove! I HAVE NOTHING TO PROVE, PEDRO! I HAVE NOTHING TO PROVE, 3GW! I HAVE NOTHING TO PROVE, NON-BELIEVERS!”
“SHE HAS NOTHING TO PROVE!”
The followers of Cynduism shouted, the church now almost filled.
“As far as I’m concerned? This, for me, is an exhibition. Pedro will be nothing more than a human body bag that has body odor and duck feet! THIS NIGHT OF CHALLENGE WILL BE WRITTEN IN THE BIBLE OF CYN AS THE DAY DA GOD GAVE UP TIME WITH HER SON TO HELP AXXESS NETWORK GAIN MORE SUBSCRIBERS, SHOWING US ALL WHY SHE IS THE HOOD ORNAMENT OF THE WHOLE FGA GALAXY!”
“Hallelujah!” A potentially drunk follower shouted from her seat.
“Noooow, if you’ll excuse me! I has to get mass started!”
She turned to the front of the church and gestured for her followers to rise to their feet.
“My children! We are gathered here today to celebrate that greatness of ME!”
“SHE IS OUR CHAMP-YEEEEN!”
Cyn turned to the camera one final time, a smirk on her face as she waved goodbye.
